Author's Notes: Okay, a certain message left me ROFL! Ya wanna know what the message was called? Ricky's funeral! I knew what was coming the minute I saw it in my inbox! I get a bunch of Ricky hate mail, as you can imagine. The only problem with that title is that Ricky is so freaking despicable that I REFUSE to give him a funeral! And yes, the day has come! My Christmas gift to you all is here! Its super long this time! As long as I've ever written, I think! It took me FOREVER!

P.S. I tried to get it done last night, on Christmas Eve, but I was out all night partying! Whoop! I came home at 2 A.M., and I just wanted to get to sleep. Christmas was just a few hours away, after all!

Quote of the day:

This one was so awesome, and it obviously took some time! Thanks! I LOVE it!

"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! Rachel is in labor! OoO  

Grrr...Adam should've been there with her! It's HIS baby for crying out loud. It's RICKY's fault. Yes, I blame Ricky. That obsessive, pathetic, lunatic, disgusting, annoying, stupid, jerk of a crazy man should die! No, more like, suffer a slow, torturous, and painful death. *evil laugh* you know if I could, I'd stab him with...with my ruler! Yeah, the one that's sitting beside me right now. The pointy edge of my...jelly...ruler................................or not.

Ugh, whatever! So, how are you gonna kill Ricky? Stab him? Shoot him with a gun? Whip him? Or you could hang him! Or better yet, strangle him! Muwahhahaahaha. But I did say a slow and painful death didn't I? Maybe getting eaten by rats in jail is the idea! [eh, I'm so heartless *sad puppy face*] anyway, the story is muy fantastic. I can't wait for the next update! Go Rachel, go! Wait, wait--you ARE going to update soon, RIGHT? I mean, it's Christmas! *hint, hint*

Can't wait! Amazing story! Luv it =]]

Yours truly,

MITZI !

p.s., you have an ipod, right? Is it classic? Nano, or shuffle? I'm trying to decide between nano and classic... O.O??" -Mitzi7

...........................................................

Dear God, I'm going to die!

I screamed in pain, for the umpteenth time.

"Why doesn't he just pop out already?!" I demanded, all patience having vanished.

"Can we get a doctor in here?" Walter pleaded.

Tina's eyes were wide as she saw her destiny in about five months or so.

She's three and a half months in.

I screamed again.

Yes, I know Walter's a doctor, but he doesn't specify in this, um... area.

A doctor finally rushed in, all prepped.

"Okay, I think I'm going to wait outside..." Walter announced.

"I'm with you."

Walter left the room with Tina at his tail.

"Are you ready?" he asked me.

"I've been ready for the eternity I've been here! Now get him OUT!" I snapped.

I know, I know. I'm being rude. But when you're in labor, and the doctor is taking his fucking sweet time getting to you, I'm pretty sure you'd see things through a different perspective.

He did all he had to do before-hand, so we were all set.

"Okay, now take a deep breath, and push," he instructed.

"Oh, GOD!" I groaned.

I took a deep breath, I pushed, I pushed, I pushed, I pushed, I pushed, I pushed, and I pushed.

I screamed from the pain.

"Just a little more, he's almost out," the doctor told me.

I gave one final push as hard as I possible could, and I passed out.

But I'm pretty sure I heard a baby's crying.

........................................................

I awoke to see serious faces surrounding me.

Why is everyone so gloomy looking...?

"Rachel," Tina began. "I'm so sorry."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I choked out, "No..."

She just nodded and started bawling.

"No... no... NO!" I cried, clutching my stomach.

I cried myself to sleep, only to force myself awake.

"What happened? Why?" I demanded, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"He... something happened, I don't know what. He seemed perfectly healthy, but... he was stillborn." The doctor said with a sad tone.

"It was Spina Bifida, what caused this. Spina Bifida is a congenital defect in which the spinal column is imperfectly closed so that part of the spinal cord may protrude often resulting in neurological disorders."

"Where's his body?" I choked out.

Tina just started crying all over again.

"Ricky, he... he took it," she whispered.

My mouth dropped open in shock.

It was too much for me. I passed out.

...............................................................

A week later, I was allowed to leave.

But my life felt empty, meaningless.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

When I got home, Tina and Walter had to go back to work.

I sat on the couch and cried.

The door opened, and I figured Walter forgot his keys. Again.

But no, I must have the worst luck in the world, because it wasn't Walter that stood in front of me.

It was Ricky.

"What are you doing here?" I spat.

"Coming for you, of course."

"I thought you were in prison," I said with pure hatred in my eyes and in my tone.

"I escaped."

"I'm not coming with you," I said. "My life is already ruined enough."

"Oh, yes, I heard about what happened to little Patrick. It's a shame." He shook his head. But there was no pity in his tone or eyes.

"Where is he?" I demanded. "What'd you do with his body?"

"Oh, you'll never see him. He's far away now. It doesn't matter. He was dead, anyways," He chuckled darkly.

"You despicable mother fucker," I shook my head in disgust.

"Really, it was for the best that he was still-born. Not only was it easier for me, I didn't have to get my hands dirty this time, but also, it saved the poor baby the pain he would've known as soon as he came into this world. You should thank me for making the pain of losing your first child easier."

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Thank you?" I scoffed. "Why on earth would I thank you? You're a sick mother fucking bitch."

He grabbed hold of my arm.

"Now, you listen here..." he started.

I jerked away and ran towards the kitchen.

He was shocked for a minute, and I used the miniscule time to grab a knife and I ran towards the other couch, hiding the knife.

He tried to grab me again, and this time, I stabbed him wildly.

I think I stabbed him in the chest, I'm not sure.

He got out his gun and started cussing at me.

Thank God I got my reflexes I gained in karate back, because I acted quick and snatched the gun.

He fired, and I grabbed it at that moment.

It hit him instead, and he staggered backwards and fell.

To my surprise, this dude I don't even know ran in at that moment and took Ricky.

Before he did so, he said, "Don't worry. I'll torture him for you, so you don't get the heat for it."

Needless to say, I was speechless, but pleased.

I collapsed myself, as well.

Ever since the pregnancy, I've become more of a wimp. Well, my body has, anyways.

.............................................................................

When I woke up, there were police everywhere, and I was lying on the couch.

As soon as I came to, I was bombarded with questions.

I answered the easiest.

"Ricky's gone... he's finally gone..." I whispered.

"What? Explain what happened miss," a police man told me.

"I came home from the hospital. Ricky came a little while later. He told me that I would never see what my baby looked like, even if he is dead. He told me I should thank him. He tried to take me with him. He was armed. I ran towards the kitchen and grabbed a knife while he wasn't looking. I stabbed him once. Then he was about to shoot me, when I tried to grab the gun out of his hand. I ended up twisting it around, and when he pulled the trigger, it was himself he shot. I was shocked. Then this dude I don't even know comes and takes him, and says he'll finish him off. He disappeared out of the apartment, and I passed out, so I didn't see what became of them."

They wrote some stuff down, and after a (long) while, they left.

Walter and Tina embraced me as I cried.

.................................................................................

It's been a year since "the incidents". I call it that because I don't like to speak of it. It's plural because I'm referring to both occurrences.

I didn't record my album at all over this time.

I turned sixteen about a month after "the incident", and it was far less than sweet.

I had a tiny party with Walter and Tina, but I wasn't in the mood to celebrate.

I never am.

There was one happy moment, though.

It was when Tina's baby, and my brother, Liam, was born.

He's adorable. He was born on April 7th, 2007.

It's January 16th, 2008 currently.

The 12th was the worst day. I cried all day. It was Patrick's birthday.

But, I think it'll be good for me to get back to recording my album.

It'll distract me for a bit.

I wrote a song about my loss, and I think it helped me grow.

...........................................................................

It's Thanksgiving, and I'm finally done recording.

It took a long time, but the CD's not coming out just yet.

We ate dinner, and I barely ate. I just wasn't feeling it.

Then I received a phone call from a number I didn't recognize.

I answered it, and it was the guy who took Ricky.

"I was just calling to tell you that you never have to worry about that sick bitch ever again. I finished him up." He told me.

"What...? Who are you?" I asked him.

"I was a friend of your mother and father, and I know what he did to ya'll. He was whipped, stabbed, shot, and finally hung. I left him for the maggots to eat his remains."

Although it sounds gruesome, I can't say I feel the tiniest ounce of pity for him.

He deserves all that.

Well, technically I could say that I pitied him, but then I'd be lying, and nobody likes a liar, unless you're some liar loving freak.

"Well..." I began. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And if you ever need anybody, I'm here for you baby girl."

"Wait... I remember you! You visited me and my parents all the time when I was little!" I cried.

He laughed, and said, "I'm glad you remember me!"

"How's Billy?" I asked.

He had this adorkable little three year old last time I saw him.

"Still as wacky as ever; you never rubbed off of him!"

I laughed. "Then he must be freaking cool as heck!"

"Sure..."

I'm offended!

The conversation was great; it really made me feel reconnected to my past.

The only problem is in my past there's... Adam.