As soon as I arrived at school the next day, I noticed that something was feeling off.

I felt nervous, anxious, like everyone was staring at me as I crossed the parking lot. And, unlike all the other times I had been paranoid about this, I realized after I glanced over my shoulder, that I wasn't imagining things. There were actually quite a few eyes following me.

I crossed the parking lot as quickly as possible, not just because of the stares in my back but also because it was raining heavily.

Against my unrealistic hopes, the attention on me didn't get any less intense once I was inside the building. On the contrary: as soon as I entered through the big glass doors, some girls in the foyer were glaring at me.

I tried not to let my confusion show and looked the other way, only to see Victoria coming towards me with a murderous expression on her face.

I expected her to just walk past me, but instead she tightly grabbed my arm, long nails digging into my skin, and hissed: "I can't believe you have the nerve to show up here today."

"I- what do you mean?" I asked, gradually getting more annoyed, and pried her fingers off me.

The scowl on her face slowly turned into a gloating smirk. "So you don't know yet..." She all but giggled and turned around to walk off. "Well, have fun today!"

"Victoria, what are you talking about? Hey, come back!" I shouted, but she already had disappeared into another corridor.

With an irritated groan, I turned around and headed towards my locker. I didn't know if I was imagining things or if people were actually whispering and laughing as soon as they saw me, but by the time I arrived at my locker, I was close to having a panic attack. I had never been one to handle attention and stares well, so this was pretty much my worst nightmare come true.

My hands were shaking when I opened my locker and searched for the books I'd be needing for the next period. I had no idea what this was all about, if there was something on my face or if my outfit was weird, but whatever it was, it was attracting everyone's attention.

When Nate suddenly appeared next to me, I nearly sighed in relief. "Thank God. Nate, do I look weird? Like, is there something on my face or on my shirt?"

Nate shook his head with an unusually serious look on his face. "No, you're looking fine. Uhm...are you sure you want to be here today?"

I slammed the door of my locker shut. "What are you talking about?"

He bit his lip, looking uncomfortable. "It's pretty stupid actually, but everyone here makes kind of a big deal of it...uh..."

"Come on, just spill it. It can't be that bad."

Nate grimaced and leaned against the locker. "Actually, it might be." He took a deep breath. "A video got sent to a bunch of people last night..."

"What kind of video?" I asked, wondering what that could have to do with me.

"A video of you and Hunter in a gay club."

For a few seconds, I didn't even understand the meaning of that sentence. Then, everything around me seemed to spin, I had to steady myself on the wall behind me so I wouldn't break down on the spot.

"No," I said, nearly choking on the words, "No, no, that can't be true, I... no one was supposed to know-"

"Hey, it's okay. Jules, calm down, it's alright," Nate murmured and took hold of my shoulders, shaking me. "Really, breathe. It's okay...you're fine."

"Who knows?" I asked after a moment of trying to regulate my breathing. "Who saw the video?"

"Everyone," Nate reluctantly said. "They sent it to everyone. I think it's on YouTube, too..."

I swore quietly under my breath, blinking in an attempt to stop the dark spots from dancing in front of my eyes. "Show me. I need to see it."

"Uh, are you sure you want to do that?"

"Yes. Just show it to me, okay? They didn't send it to me."

Nate hesitated before he finally handed me his phone and played the video.

I gulped when I saw that it was almost four minutes long. At first you couldn't see much, then there was a quick overview of the dance floor, zooming in on a few gay couples to make sure it was clear what kind of club it was.

After about a minute, the camera focused on the corner where the couches were. You could vaguely make out Hunter and me, even though the lighting was bad and the camera work was shaky. We were talking, while I was still holding onto Hunter's hand.

Then, when Hunter went off to get drinks, it cut off and jumped straight to the scene where he was dragging me onto the dance floor.

On the inside I prayed that the video would just end there (whoever filmed it surely must've gotten bored of watching us at some point... right?), but no luck. Seconds later, you could see us dancing, slowly moving away from the crowd until we ended up in one corner.

From there on, I had to fight the urge to throw Nate's phone to the ground. Everything was getting gradually worse and what might've looked normal and casual to some in the beginning now got more obvious.

The cameraperson mercilessly continued to film us as Hunter leaned in to kiss my cheek while holding both of my hands. Even from afar you could see me blushing and biting my lip, but not moving away.

Then the video finally stopped and the screen turned black. I stared at it for a moment, unable to move, let alone process what I had just watched. Eventually, I felt the phone leaving my hands and I looked up to see Nate slipping it back into his pocket with a pained expression.

"I don't- Who filmed this?" I asked, voice not more than a whisper.

Nate shook his head slightly. "I was hoping you'd know. Did you recognize anyone in there? Anyone from this school?"

"No. If I had I would have gotten out of there." I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to collect myself. "What does everyone think?"

"They think you're just one more hookup of his... You aren't though, are you?" he asked carefully. "I mean, did you two...?"

My eyes widened. "What- No. Nate, we just went to that club, he kissed my cheek, then he drove me home. That's all."

Nate looked like he wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved. "Oh, alright. So... what are you going to do about the video?"

"There's not much I can do, is there?" I asked, sounding more bitter than I had intended. "It's out in the open." Again I felt like I couldn't breathe. I slowly counted to ten and tried to calm myself down, but that was a hard thing to do while still feeling like screaming and crying and punching someone in the throat. "They all know."

Nate opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was, it got drowned out by the ringing of the school bell. He sighed. "I have Chemistry now... will you be fine on your own?"

Even though I felt like begging him to stay and skip school with me, I nodded and motioned for him to go to his class.

He sent me one last sympathetic smile before he walked off.

I watched as he disappeared in the corridor, then I took a deep, steadying breath and headed towards my own class. All along the way, I noticed people staring and mumbling things when I walked past them. The same happened in my French class; I felt like everyone's eyes were on me, so I spent the two hours staring down onto my desk and not daring to put my hand up even though I knew all the answers.

At least that had given me the time to think. I had made a plan for today and the following weeks: to avoid Hunter in public, to not listen to what people were saying behind my back, and to not talk to anyone else about the video. And I still didn't want to meet Emily, a desire which was probably mutual.

Obviously, I had absolutely no luck with any of these things; only two hours later I saw Hunter coming towards me in the corridor. As soon as I spotted him, I turned around and pushed through the crowd to get away before he could reach me.

+++

The next days at school weren't much different. Wherever I went, gossip and laughter seemed to follow. Some people actually had the nerve to come up to me and say their opinion on the video, Hunter and me, and my sexuality straight to my face, as if any of these things were any of their business.

Hunter had tried to call me multiple times, but I hadn't picked up or replied to any of his messages. I didn't know what to say, so I thought it best to not say anything at all.

I still hadn't figured out who had filmed the video, so there was nothing I could do to have it taken down. It was too late now, anyway. I was convinced there was no one at this school who hadn't at least heard of it.

I had assumed the talk about it would die down quickly since it was God knows not the first time Hunter had been seen with someone in public and cheek kisses were probably by far not the most scandalous thing he'd been seen doing, but somehow this seemed to be interesting enough.

Now there were different parties who all had their own opinion on the matter. Most people were just curious if there was actually something going on between us. Some seemed to be incredibly jealous of me, others congratulated me. A few people apparently felt the need to tell me that they thought it was great that I was into boys and that they were proud of me (keep in mind that these were people who had never once talked to me before), while others yelled homophobic insults after me.

Needless to say that I kept any interactions with people other than Nate as short as possible.

It was Tuesday, exactly one week after the night at the club, when Nate finally got me to have lunch in the cafeteria with him, instead of hiding in my car on the parking lot.

At first, things were going quite well: I was sitting at one table in the corner with Nate and Alexis (both of them were begging me to talk to Hunter, which I refused) and no one else had tried to talk to me yet.

That was until Sean suddenly came up to our table, three of his football teammates following him. The look on his face was sardonic as he braced his arms on the table and watched as we fell silent. "Hey, Jules," he then said lowly and turned his head to look me in the face. "How does it feel to be interesting all of a sudden?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Great. Awesome, really. Never been happier."

The grin on his face didn't falter at all as he said: "It's quite a nice video, huh? You and Hunter are so sweet. Cheek kisses, mh? Exciting."

I tried hard to suppress my scowl and keep a neutral expression. "Yeah? So I should probably thank whoever filmed and posted it..."

"Oh, don't bother," he said. I could tell how much he was enjoying the situation just by looking at him. "It was a pleasure. You know, the opportunity was there and I knew you'd be delighted to have everyone see it. It's something worth sharing."

"So it was you," I said, not quite a question. Anger was boiling in my veins, making it impossible for me to be calm. "What the hell were you doing at that club?"

Sean only smiled even wider. "What do you think? I went there to get laid. It's not like you can find hot guys who also happen to be queer at every corner, and that club is the only one around."

I felt like screaming. Instead I balled my hands into fists under the table and tried to hold his challenging gaze. "What do you want? What do I have to do so that you take the video down?"

Sean shook his head, giving me a patronizing smile. "There's nothing you could possibly give me to do that. I don't want anything from you."

"Then why did you do it?" I hissed. "What did I do to you?"

Now the grin finally left his face and revealed a cold, angry expression. "You have to ask?" He stepped closer, jabbing a finger at my chest. "You are the reason why Hunter dumped me!"

Before I could reply, Alexis suddenly intervened. I could see that she was furious by the way her fingers were gripping tightly onto the edge of the table, knuckles turning white. "Sean, are you really that stupid? Hunter told you he wasn't going to have a relationship with you, you knew what you were in for. That he broke it off with you was inevitable and it's not by any means Jules' fault."

"Shut up... slut," Sean spat.

Alex's eyes narrowed dangerously as she slowly got to her feet. "And this is exactly why Hunter prefers Jules over you," she calmly said. "Because unlike you, he knows where the limits are and he knows not to overstep them. Whereas you really don't know when to stop or give up, do you?"

"She's right," Nate said and glared at Sean. "You need to get over yourself and stop blaming your situation on Jules, when it's all because of your own attitude and the fact that Hunter doesn't want relationships. Outing Jules against his will and spreading a video you weren't allowed to film won't help you in getting Hunter back. On the contrary."

Sean was pale now, the smirk wiped off his face. He was completely silent for a moment before he growled: "Say what you want; I know that I achieved something by posting that video. Seeing Jules this defeated is satisfaction enough for now."

My jaw had actually dropped after hearing his words. "Wow," I eventually said after regaining at least a bit of my composure. "You're taking petty to a whole new level. You do realize that you're going to get into trouble for this, right?"

He snorted, raising a brow at me. "What are you going to do? Call your lawyer-daddy on me? Sue me?"

I held his gaze and lied: "I might, but that's not what I meant. What I'm talking about is: Did you think about Hunter's opinion on all of this? Do you think he'll be pleased that you put that video up, without his consent? You publicized a private moment that he didn't want to share with anyone at this school."

Sean tried hard to look unaffected as he shrugged. "Do you actually think you're that important to him? Who knows, maybe he's already forgotten about you, moved on to someone more interesting. You're just another unimportant fling to him. Two weeks from now, he won't even remember you. Trust me."

I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "Are we done here? There are about a thousand people I'd rather talk to right now."

With that, I turned around and got out of there as soon as possible. Once I had left the cafeteria, I didn't have any idea where to go and just paced around the corridor for a moment.

I froze in my tracks when I suddenly spotted Hunter coming towards me. Without a second thought, I turned around and walked into the opposite direction, pushing through the stream of students. I wasn't sure if the sound of his steps following me were just my imagination or real, but I didn't look back to check. Instead, I slipped into an abandoned class room and shut the door behind me. Only five minutes alone were all I needed right now.

After a few seconds of hesitation, I dropped my bag and coat onto a table and sat down on the windowsill in one corner, where you couldn't see me right away in case someone entered the room.

Once I had settled down, I took my sketchbook out and began to draw all sorts of shapes, little sketches and faces. It was something that calmed me down and cleared my head, which was something I craved right now.

But after only about a minute, the door suddenly burst open. I looked up, startled at the loud noise and ready to tell whoever it was to get out, but I immediately closed my mouth when I saw Hunter standing in the doorway.

His cheeks were slightly red, his hair tousled. He wasn't smiling or grinning or even looking remotely friendly. He looked ready to strangle someone, though I wasn't sure if it was me he was angry at.

My heart rate sped up as he closed the door behind him and came towards me. He stopped right in front of me and just looked at me for a second before he said: "We need to talk."

I set the sketchbook and my pencil down on the windowsill next to me, stalling and not looking at him. Then I quietly said: "I don't want to."

"Why not?" His voice was thick with frustration and anger and something else I couldn't figure out. "Why are you avoiding me?"

I ran a hand through my hair before I dropped it into my lap. "Because people know now. The video, it's... It shows everything I've been trying to hide. Now it's out in the open, even though I haven't even fully accepted everything yet. I feel like they're all monitoring me, waiting for us to do something in public." I finally looked him in the eye. "I don't want to be known as just another of your toys. I don't want to be known as the naive boy in the closet who had a crush on Hunter Adams and honestly thought he had a chance with him."

Hunter looked taken aback now, his eyes were wide in surprise about honesty he probably hadn't expected. His voice was hoarse when he asked: "Is that really what you feel like? What you think this is?"

"I don't know what this is," I said.

Hunter's eyes softened as he stepped forward and closed the small distance between us. "I'm sorry about how things worked out. But I don't care what the others think, what they talk. All I care about is what you think." He exhaled and dropped his head so I couldn't see his face. "We didn't talk for, like, three days, but I'm already missing you. It's never been like this before. I kind of wish it wasn't, because it would make everything so much easier."

It was the vulnerability, the rawness of his voice that managed to tear the last shred of my self control apart. Before I could think about it, my hands shot forward and lightly cupped his face, making him look at me. His lips were slightly parted as he studied me.

"I know," I muttered. "I know how it feels. And I'm not angry at you. I'm just...scared, I guess."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of how things between us will go. And of what the others will think if they see us together."

Hunter's eyes widened a little. "So you're saying you'll talk to me again? Even at school?"

I thought about it for a moment. Then I nodded. "Yes. But not more than talking, okay?"

He nodded, almost triumphantly, and said: "Thank God. I've already been planning how to climb through your window when you're asleep and tie you down so you'll have to listen to me."

I rolled my eyes and let go of his face. "Yeah, I bet you'd like that."

Hunter laughed, before he became serious again. "Hey, do you know who posted that video?"

"It was Sean," I said, not even trying to hold that information back. Maybe Hunter was going to punch his teeth out. I didn't mind if he did.

"Of course it was him," he growled. "I should've known. I'm going to make him take the video down from the internet."

"You can try, but I don't think it'll be easy," I muttered. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I groaned, "And I have to go to my next class now... Are you coming too?"

Hunter nodded and after I had grabbed my stuff, we left the room together.

We didn't get very far; as soon as I stepped into the corridor I saw Emily coming towards us. Hunter nearly ran into me as I came to a sudden stop.

Emily spotted me almost immediately. Flinching slightly at the sight of me, she started to walk faster, when suddenly a loud voice said: "Look at that. She can't even look her asshole of an ex boyfriend in the eye anymore."

Emily paused and spun around to see who had said that.

I did the same, my eyes quickly landing on Sean. He was grinning widely, leaning against a locker on the opposite side of the hallway.

"Sorry? What did you say?" Emily calmly asked. I knew that tone; she was angry, but tried not to let it show and intimidate her opponent with composure.

"Oh, you heard me," Sean said and stepped towards us. "You know, I get why you're pissed. I would be, too. He just broke up with you and replaced you with Hunter, a boy he knows he can never have... yet he continues to run after him. It's quite pathetic, isn't it?"

Hunter was trying to get past me and walk up to Sean, but I held him back, holding onto his sleeve. Sean watched with an amused expression.

Emily narrowed her eyes at him, one hand clenched into a fist at her side. "I'm not angry at Jules," she then said and flicked a look at me. I believed her the second our eyes locked. "Why would I be mad at him just because he's honest with me?"

Sean cocked a brow. "Really? That's what you're trying to tell yourself? Adorable. Honestly, it's so sweet how you still love him so much and try to defend him, even though he was the one who broke your heart."

"Of course I'm sad," she said. "But sadness doesn't equal hate and a broken heart doesn't justify revenge. Which is something especially you should think about." She nodded as she saw Sean's eyes widening. "Yes, I know that it was you who filmed the video, Sean. I watched it."

"And even after watching it you're not mad?" Sean asked doubtfully.

Emily shook her head. "No, I'm not. On the contrary, I'm happy for Jules, believe it or not." Her lips curled into a timid smile as her gaze flickered over to me again.

I couldn't help but smile back, feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my chest.

"And you, Hunter? Are you happy too?" Sean asked and focused on Hunter now. "Happy to have a new toy to amuse yourself with?"

Hunter now brushed my hand off and stepped forward. "I will happily knock you out if you keep talking like this."

"What, didn't you like the video I took of you?" Sean asked, feigning astonishment. "Oh, I know. You're embarrassed about being seen with Jules, aren't you?"

Hunter frowned, genuinely confused. "Why would I be ashamed of that?"

"Just look at him," Sean said and waved a hand at me. "He's not nearly as good-looking as all the others you've dated before. He's inexperienced and problematic and definitely won't be able to fulfill your needs-"

"Oh my god, are you really this shallow? You think this is all just about sex?"

"When is something not, for you?" Sean retorted. "What I'm saying is, that he doesn't deserve you. He's just a stupid little twink and he'll be of no interest for you once you got him into bed, simply because-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence, when he got pushed hard against the lockers behind him. There was a loud bang as his body collided with the metal and his breath got knocked out of him.

Sean recovered quickly and pushed himself off the lockers to take a swing at Hunter. Hunter managed to block the first two punches, but the third one struck his face. He stumbled back and cussed under his breath, then he punched Sean right in the stomach.

A crowd quickly gathered to watch and cheer for either of them. People were blocking my way as I tried to get to Hunter.

Sean was panting and bending over, but he quickly straightened himself and lunged out for Hunter again.

They both took a few more hits, though Sean obviously was the more inexperienced fighter, until I managed to get to them.

When Hunter cornered Sean and was ready to knock him senseless, I pulled him back and pushed him against the wall. I had to use all my body weight to pin him against it, holding onto both of his shoulders and trapping him underneath me.

"Calm down," I muttered. "That's enough. You're... you're bleeding."

Hunter finally stopped trying to push me off him and let his head fall against the wall instead. "He deserved it."

"You don't need to beat someone up just because they say something mean about me," I said, breathing heavily from my efforts to hold him back.

Hunter snorted and impatiently wiped some of the blood that was trickling out of his nose away with the back of his hand. I felt the familiar queasy feeling I always got when I saw blood and quickly looked into his eyes instead. "What am I supposed to do when you're not even trying to defend yourself? Sean doesn't understand boundaries until someone shows them to him."

"I can handle it," I firmly said.

He was silent for a moment. Then he suddenly asked, a crooked grin forming on his face. "Hey, do you think I'll look hot with a black eye?"

I huffed, letting go of him. "You'll look like an idiot who was stupid enough to get into a fight because he has no self control."

Hunter shrugged, still grinning and was about to say something when the voice of a teacher cut in. "Thank you, Julian, but I'll take it from here. Hunter, please come to the principal's office with me."

I turned around to look at the teacher in front of me and moved away from Hunter.

He just flashed her a smile and saluted her with two fingers. "Why certainly, ma'am."

She glared at him, entirely unimpressed, before she led him and Sean away.

+++

Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on one of the chairs in front of the principal's office. To my surprise, Emily had joined me, though we hadn't really talked at all since we had gotten there.

"Do you think he'll get into trouble?" she now asked.

"I have no idea," I said. "Probably not. Hunter will talk his way out of this."

We were silent for a few more minutes before I cleared my throat and carefully said: "What you said to Sean... Did you mean it?"

She looked up from her phone. "That I'm happy for you and not angry?"

I nodded.

"At first I was mad. And hurt. But I know why you did what you did. I understand now." She hesitated, choosing her next words carefully. "I'm also kind of proud of you for having the courage to come out to me. I know that probably wasn't easy."

My breath caught in my throat at that, and for a few seconds, all I could do was smile at her.

"Hey...do you think we can hang out again sometime?" Emily then asked. "I miss talking to you."

My smile grew even wider. "Yeah... I think I'd like that."

The door of the office opened in just that instant and Hunter walked out, Sean following behind him.

I quickly got to my feet and waited for Sean to be out of ear-shot. "How did it go?"

Hunter shrugged. "They lectured me about how violence on school grounds will not be tolerated and that I'll get detention for it. Oh, by the way, I told them you were the reason I punched Sean, so you'll have to go to detention with me. I thought that'd be fun."

I glared at him. "You didn't."

He sighed. "No, I didn't. It would've been hilarious though."

"Not really," I snorted. "Did Sean get punished, too?"

"Yeah, and he got it way worse because I told them about the video." When he saw my shocked expression he quickly added: "I didn't tell them what it was about, only that Sean took it without permission and sent it around to harm you. He's suspended for a week and has to delete it from the internet."

I sighed, relieved. "Thank you."

Hunter just smiled at me and nodded towards the exit. "Anyway, we've already missed half of class, so... wanna skip the rest, too?"

"And actually risk another hour of detention? No, thank you," I said.

"Always such a buzzkill," Hunter sighed, but there was an affectionate undertone to his voice. "Okay then. See you tonight."

Before I even got to protest, he had already turned around.

"Looks like you have a date tonight," Emily commented. I was surprised to see that she was smiling, not looking even a little bit hurt or angry.

"Yeah," I muttered, shaking my head slightly as I watched Hunter disappear behind a corner. "Looks like it."