THE FIFTH LETTER

harry,

i saw simon today for the first time in over a year. he hugged me, span me around like he always did, you remember? you used to scowl at him every time he did it. he asked me what happened. did you not tell them you cheated on me?

don't worry, i told him and he hugged me again. i think he expected me to cry, but i didn't. i cried all my tears for you out months ago.

im not writing this to make you jealous. im writing this because i want you to know that i'm not in love with you anymore. it's been almost two years; how could i still be in love with you after all that time?

i'll always love you deep down, i know i will. but there's something about loving someone who loves someone else that's sad.

which is why when simon asked to exchange numbers i said yes. he seems like the romantic type, even if he doesn't want to be romantically involved with me.

and that leads on to reason five:

5. you stopped being romantic.

you used to be such a romantic, harry. i loved that about you. you'd look after me like i was royalty and kiss me like i was everything you'd ever dreamt of.

i remember the first time you bought me flowers. they were red roses and you'd blushed as red as their petals when you'd given them to me. i thought it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. you'd seemed so surprised when i actually liked them. the look that crossed your face is something that i'll never forget, never.

when we took our first holiday together, you were always by my side. and when you weren't you were off getting or doing something for me. there wasn't a single moment on that holiday that i doubted how much i loved you.

in fact, we were in the sea the first time i told you i loved you. with the waves rolling at our knees and your arms around my waist, my arms around your neck, we kissed. it wasn't just a kiss. it was the moment i knew that i was in love with you. i'd always had a feeling but it was that moment that confirmed it for me.

i pulled back from the kiss and you'd looked so confused, but when i'd said those three little words you'd smiled like a mad man and repeated them back to me. i smiled too, how could i not?

you loved me and i loved you, it was simple. i wish things were still like that.

i miss it.

i miss you.

from, marnie

p.s. yours forever and ever