But first, lemme take a selfie!

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So today's rant is about a type of cover that I'm beginning to see a lot.

I was initially going to do a rant on the different types of covers that I hate, then I realised I had the most hate for this type:

The Selfie Covet.

Now, with y'all scrolling on wattpad with your iPhones and Galaxies and iPads or whatever, you know what a selfie is. (if you live under a rock, is say it's a picture that you take of yourself using the unfortunate front camera that smart phones invented today).

You're probably a camera whore too.

(Camera whore detector: what percent of your instagram photos are of you? If it's more than 25%, lol, you're a camera whore.) I kid.

Social media has really taken all of us to the next level of self-absorption, where we have become obsessed with how we look and the image we give across to others.

*I won't go into the inspirational shit about how it shouldn't matter.*

But now, on Wattpad, I feel that these stupid motherfugging SELFIE COVERS have taken it to a whole new level of NARCISM. Where everyone is just fuckin obsessed with themselves that they can't help but put their duck faces on their book cover.

First of all, is that even safe?

Kidding, I have no interest in who you are.

What annoys me, besides how fucking narcissistic you are, is how unprofessional it is. Like have you ever walked through a fucking bookstore and seen a book where the cover has a girl with red and green hair sticking her index finger in her mouth and has seven piercings on her eyebrow and called the book 'Reflections'.

What? Is that you, claiming it's not a 'selfie' but a model shoot?

Honey, we clearly see the other hand outstretched in the way that we know the picture is self-taken (lol is that like a proper term for 'selfie' now).

What's that again? You couldn't find anyone or any other picture who could depict what you were trying to convey in the title?

Honey, millions of girls have far better *cutefingerinmouth* faces than you do.

As much as [you think] you look so sexy, it's not a pretty cover.

Add My lovely friend (groan) Harry Styles to the mix?

(1) an actual fan based picture with Styles from a time you met him at a meet and greet or concert or whatever, (I don't actually know where you can meet 1D) (so now you've cast yourself as the ordinary fan who he falls in love with?!)

Or, even worse:

(2) a photoshopped picture of you and Styles together.

Or, the worstestestest:

(3) a freaking pic collage where you're in two boxes and Styles is in the other two.

I promise, I've seen that before. The pic collage one.

But it was Zac Efron.

Much sexier, if you ask me.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that stop being fucking into yourself; I mean great, you have confidence and shit (unlike the other half of wattpad girls who seem to be in depression) but it's not professional if you've stuck yourself on the cover of your own book.

Like are you even relevant to your book?

I don't fucking care if it's your 'diary'. You're still not relevant.

It's such a turnoff, really.

(OMG and don't you hate it even more when they haven't put any title on their 'cover'? It's not even a fucking cover anymore it's an profile pic in the wrong place grrrr)

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Vote if you're tired of seeing people's real identity lol (you know what I mean)

We should help these poor, unfortunate souls *little mermaid reference, woop!* to find the right place! Be kind, show 'em where they can advertise their large-eyes-cute-face-boobs-falling-out pictures.

I should put a picture with a selfie cover for this book. Would you want me to do that? It would be quite funny. Comment what you think!