This chapter is dedicated to -KingOfDeath- because they sent me a really funny joke but I kept forgetting to put it up and so here it is:

Death: it's your time, give me your hand!

Blonde: No! I know if I don't touch your hand, I won't die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the way to live forever! High five!

*blonde high-fives*

Death: typical blonde...

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So I was away for this Easter weekend, and due to the lack of wifi, I managed to actually indulge myself into reading again, thus completing (or trying to complete) a couple of books here and there.

All romance, of course. To compensate all the romance I'm lacking in my life right now *sigh*.

Quite a few turned out to be the I-cannot-stand-this-boy-but-I-will-fall-in-love-with-him-after-his-tragic-story kinds of stories which piss me off but I love to read lol

And then because I read quite a few of them, I saw a common denominator.

This began to piss me off, which consequently led me to write this rant.

Okay lol enough of the story time, here's what pissed me off.

So when the male character and female character are somehow forced to cooperate with each other, the male character must devise a stupid nickname of which he will henceforth refer to the female character as - which obviously must drive her mad every time he calls her by it.

"Sexy jack-ass jock boy, why the fuck did you add me on facebook you dipshit who has never spoken to me so I hate you because you're popular?"

"Because I need you to give me back my diary that you took when I somehow left it on your table."

"There's no way I'm helping you you dipshit *refer to previous name for the boy*, I hate you even though we've never spoken!"

"Okay, Non-helper, don't help me then."

"Non-helper?"

"Yes, that's what I'm calling you now. You know, because you don't help me."

"ARGH YOU DRIVE ME FUCKING INSANE."

Okay tbh that was the worst example ever let me just do this again.

Take #2 - Action!

"Sexy jack-ass jock boy, why the fuck did you add me on facebook you dipshit who has never spoken to me so I hate you because you're popular?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk. What are you up to?"

"Eating dinner. You?"

"Okay, dinner girl *winks*."

"Dinner girl? Is that what you're fucking going to name me for the rest of the book ffs and of course I hate it because it's a stupid fucking nickname so y'all bitches who make the male antagonist give the female protagonist a fucking annoying nickname just fuck off BRUH seriously it's so damn annoying like why the fuck does he have to give her a nickname? What, you think it's cute? Funny? Here's a reality check, mkay, it's STUPID AND NO FUCKING GUY GIVES SUCH STUPID NICKNAMES OMFG JUST BECAUSE HE WILL ALWAYS CATCH HER EATING SKITTLES DOES NOT MEAN YOU CALL HER 'SKITS', okay, AND JUST BECAUSE SHE EATS FUCKING PANCAKES AT NIGHT DOES NOT MEAN YOU GIVE HER THE NICKNAME OF 'PANCAKE GIRL' GODDAMMIT IT'S SO SCHUPID."

Like seriously these fucking nicknames gotta go I'm so tired of them ffs, STOPPIT.

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And while we're on this topic of stupid ass names, I'm so done with this "exotic" names that authors give their fucking protagonists okay

Either the female has a fucking idiotic name; the male antagonist has a stupid name; or both of them have fucking stupid ass dunderhead motherbleepin names and I can't handle it anymore

Like I completely understand that it's probably in an effort to diverge from the usual Jake or whatever, but fucking giving them such stupid names does not help the issue.

Especially these fucking names that are inspired by nature. Whether it's their surname or bloody first, you'll never miss a Summers or Rivers or something nature-y like that

Like stop with the nature references already man

Furthermore, it's like it's the author's mission to pair up the most unfitting first name and surname so that it sounds completely asinine (I learnt a new word bitches) when you think about it

Like I won't even give you an example. Look at the latest romance/teen fiction/humour-that-really-is-not-funny books you've read, and you'd probably be lying to me if at least one of them does not have a stupid ass name for the protagonist like "Gingerberry Summerkins Thompson" or some bullshit like that

JUST STOPPIT.

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Gaah I love my country but these terror attacks though :/

#PrayingforKenya

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