Hey sorry I haven't been posting much I've been busy. I'll try and write more. And comment more I wanna see what you have to say!!

Btw I'm gonna bold the POV ( Point Of View) change Now. Should I go back and edit the other chapters so they are bolded to? •_•

Back to the story.

Patton's POV
I was just pacing outside the door of Virgil and Romans room while they were being questioned about that horrible night.

Logan and I heard shouting and went in "nothing is wrong with that!" Roman shouted at the policemen.  Logan went and stood between them and said, "what is the matter?" Roman keeps his eyes locked on the policemen and growls "get them out" My dad instincts kick in and I shout " get out!" And I push them out of the room, they leave, shouting"fuck you!" And the grey haired man sticks up his middle finger.

I was so angry I didn't even know I had walked to the bathroom, I guess so many emotions sent me over the edge.

I look at the mirror, I look crazy. My eyes are red from crying, tear streaks running down my face, lips dry and cracked, hair all knotted and frail, my clothes wrinkled and hanging weakly from my body.

How could this have happened? I failed as a father. I failed to protect them.

I failed.

It's my fault this happened. It's my fault that my friends are in pain. It's my fault. I encouraged the party hoping it'll lift Thomas's spirits, but it did the exact opposite.

I start to cry thinking of all the times I messed up, "I'm a failure" I mumble to myself as I sit down, crying gently. I feel a sharp pain in my hand and I notice I had placed my hand on a rock. What scared me the most is,

I enjoyed the pain and I wanted more.

Logan's POV
Patton pushes the policemen men out, following them out. I would have followed them but I had to attend to Roman first.

I told him to sit down, he did, roman was still fuming over the argument. But then he looked over at Virgil who was clearly having a terrible panic attack, he was shaking violently, and barely sucking in any air and he was clutching his hair as if it were a lifeline. Roman deafly held Virgil in his arms in a protective way. I wanted to comfort Patton like that, make him feel safe and loved. Because I loved Patton, and if anything hurt him I would absolutely destroy it. I get up and walk around trying to find where Patton went, I assumed the bathroom but no one was in their. I continue to look around.

Pattons POV
I get up and splash water on my face to make myself look presentable and not look like I was found at the bottom of a dumpster. I pace around the bathroom what to do. Should I give into the urge to feel more pain or do the tremendous task and resist it. I was torn between the two, if I resisted then I probably would be trapped in my mind, no release, constant urge to feel something, I feel lots of things, but only mentally and emotionally. I want to feel something other then that.

Something physical.

I stop pacing and began to think of what I could easily find that would be sharp. Scissors wouldn't work, someone would notice them gone. A razor blade would definitely be noticed. Think Patton, think!
What's small, sharp, abundant, easily found in a hospital. Paper? Would that work?

No not good enough. Needs to be able to go deeper, needs to be able to draw more blood.

Wait. A staple. That would work. Theirs lots of paper around here, which means lots of staples, those are small, sharp, abundant, easily found in a hospital.

I reach for the door handle, but pause. Is this what Virgil feels like before he cuts? This need, this ache, this... addiction?

I shake my head and walk out, in search of a staple.

Logan's POV
I continue to walk around, still looking for Patton. Where was he? It wasn't like him to wonder off like this. I walk around for ten more minutes and decided that he might have returned to Roman and Virgil's room. I start heading back their but pass the bathroom and I hear gentle crying, "why, why did I do this, Why?" I hear patton, I know it's him because he has and almost undetectable lisp. I softly tap the door, " Patton? It's me, Logan," I pause and I hear a sharp intake of breath "why are you crying? Can I come in?" I ask keeping my voice calm although my minds racing, did the policemen hurt him? Did one of the doctors hurt him? Why was patton crying? I needed to know what hurt him, so I could destroy it so it couldn't hurt him again.

Patton opens the door and practically falls into my arms, I catch him and I feel him crying. I hug him tighter and bring him into the bathroom.

I set him on the toilet and go to wet some paper towels to clean his face from his tears. I accidentally drop a piece and I go to pick it up and notice tiny drops of blood on the ground, I would have brushed it off, it being in a hospital, but the blood was fresh. I look up at Patton who refuses to make eye contact and absently scratches at his stomach, wincing in pain. "Patton..." I start, fearing the worst, he doesn't reply but looks up and gives me a fake smile.

He twiddles his thumbs and I see blood under his nails. I know what to do to get him to show me his stomach.

Patton's POV
I walk around more looking at the ground after a couple of minutes I find one. I head to the bathroom.

I raise my arm intending to cut their, but I realize that it would be to noticeable. I decide my stomach would be a ok place I lift up my shirt I potion my shaking hand and then I do it. I quickly drag it across, hissing in pain, dropping the staple, along with the staple and few drops of my blood.

I had gone a little to deep. But nothing to bad, but it would leave a scar. I just curl up on the ground and cry and cry. I felt bad. I felt bad that I had done it, but mostly because I had agreed to doing. I continue to sob, "why, why did I do this, why?" I ask myself. Then I hear someone knocking gently on the door, "Patton? it's me, Logan." I inhale sharply. " Why are you crying? Can I come in?" He asks softly. I get up and open the door feeling guilty for what I did.

I fall into his arms, crying. He picks me up and sets me on the toilet. My mind was reeling, would he get mad? Would he hate me? Should I even tell him?

No you shouldn't tell him.

Logan bent down to pick up a paper towel he dropped but noticed my blood. I look at the now interesting wall, avoiding eye contact. "Patton..." I look up at him and smile. I twiddle my thumbs.

Logan leans down and kisses me I kiss back, standing up as it gets more heated. Logan's hand roams up and rests on my hips, I feel a wave of panic because he was so close to the cut, but I push the feeling away and focus on the kiss.

My shirt suddenly was tugged up revealing my cut. I pull away from the kiss, and trying to push my shirt back down but Logan grabs both my thin wrists and looks at the cut. I start to cry, I could see tears falling down his face. He let's go of my wrists and he hugs me, but not tightly because my stomach. I sink into the hug, breathing in his scent, it smelled like alcohol because he hadn't changed since the party, but I could still smell the vanilla. I cry into his shirt.

Somehow we end up back into Romans and Virgil's room, I curled up on Logan's lap and fell asleep. I felt safe in his arms.

YES I FINALLY GOT IT DONE!!!!
1419 words!
I so sorry for the wait!! I've been super busy lately! also sorry for not including Thomas much :/

I also would like to thank
MIWITMHARLEYQUINN they gave me the inspiration to start this book!!
And
lunaeclispe22
For giving me inspiration for some of the chapters

I didn't steal any chapters just got some ideas

Love them both go check them out!!

Stay alive ||-//