That week in therapy. "So hows it been since i last saw you?" She asked me pushing her glasses higher up on her nose. "Good, i had a vision." I told her wringing my hands on the couch. "Really so you remember something?" "Yes, i was in the car with Alysa and shes crying." "Why?" "I don't know i can't remember. Thats the only peice i can remember. But something or someone hurt her." She jotted this down in her note pad. "I wish i knew, i'm scared." "Afraid you are the reason she is crying?" "Yeah."

                               "Think back to when you were friends do you remember doing anything to make her cry?" "No not that i remember but i may be blocking out a few things about her before the accident." "How do you know?" "Well when i talked to her mom she wants to know everything so she asked me what we talked about when i was with her last." "Wich was when?" "She says two days before the accident but i don't remember being with her at all. and i want to its important to me she was my best friend. But it's not just that, there are a lot of things i think i'm blocking out about her you know." How so?" "Well i have this shirt that for some reason i like to wear, i have no idea where it came from. Mom says Alyssa gave it to me." "Hm that is strange."

                             "Yea, and i know it's the pain that's the only reason my brain is blocking it out." "Well what does your girlfriend have to say?" "Shes trying her best. This is so hard on her. I just wish i knew what to say to make her understand."

                            "So lets think about why she was crying, any ideas then if it wasnt you?" "Well her mom said she was having some problems with this guy so no doubt it was probably him, and i just wanted to fix it but now...theres nothing to fix. That's probably why she was crying, that jerk did or said something to make her upset." "Maybe you could ask one of her friends?"

                            "No none of them want anything to do with me." "Oh." "And i don't blame them any ways." "Still it wasnt your fault you made a mistake. It was an accient." "Yeah well try teling that to them that." "Look I don't think you're going to get any real closure unless you go and talk to them." "I'm not ready to face them just yet." "Understandable but eventualy." "Yeah sure, maybe when i put some more peices together...i want to apoligize you know to them...and her mom." "Thats good, i'm glad to hear that." "Yea well it's the right thing to do."

                           "So who else are you going to apoligize too?" "What do you mean who else is there?" "I don't know Shelby maybe?" "What the heck do i need to apoligize to her for?" "For pushing her away, did you ever think there was a reason you were pushing her away?" "Yea cause i don't know what happened and she keeps asking me to tell her, how the heck am i gonna tell somebody else what happeend when i don't even know myself?" "Yea, you don't have to know. She is asking because she want's to know how you're doing. Because she cares. If you push her away she thinks maybe you're not doing ok. Or that you're hiding something?" "Alright alright i'll talk to her."

                            "Good.Now, did you remember Alyssa hanging out with any guys at school?" "Sure she had a few guy friends." she uncrossed her legs, and crossed them the other way. "Well who was her like ulitmate best friend?" "I was." "So then you know her better then anybody else, if she was upset i think you would of known about it right?" "Yea, but things are coming back peice by peice, and i hope you're right that i will remember who it was." "And then?" "Kill him."

                            "Chase...really? Is that gonna solve anything?" "No but punching this person would make me feel better." "Can i give you a task for this week something i want you to do, and then come back and we can talk about it." "Ok sure." "You may not like it..." "If it's for the best." "It is." "Ok." "I want you to go and talk to Alyssas mom, ask her about the accident and what she knows. About her last day's you know maybe get some closure. Or at least figure out why she was so upset." "Ok i guess." "So you are going to talk to her?" "I guess."

                           "Well you made me think that you didn't want to speak her." "I don't, but if it will help me remember then it's worth it." "I think this will be good, if you can figure out what hurt her then maybe that will open up new doors." "How do you figure?" "Well say you found out that some guy broke up with her. Maybe you will remember an earlier conversation." "I guess so." "And right now, you are in no position to turn down anybody who knows anything." "Maybe. I'll talk to her mom and hey maybe it will make her feel better too." "That's nice of you." "We'll see."

                                 "Ok good then, well our times about up, i will see you next thursday." "Ok see you." She got up to open the door for me. I hobbled out of the room on my cruches. "No mom i do not want hot dogs for dinner. I don't know just ugh find something else!!" I lifted my hand to the guy. He laughed sheepishly and hung up. "Harold." She said. "Let's go." He said holding the door open for her.                               

                                   My mom was waiting outside when i got there. "Hey sweetie how did it go?" "Fine, but can i ask you something?" "Sure thing, what's up?" "What do you think about me going to Ms. Renea's house?" She turned to look abrubtly at me. "Why?" She asked concern in her voice. "Well i was just thinking, i don't remember what happened and she may say something that will jog my memory." "I don't think this is a good idea." She said wearily. "Why not mom i want to remember." "I know you do son but give it time. It'll come you don't need to force it."

                                 "IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS!" I raised my voice getting frusterated. "Hey, i know how long it's been, and you just got to feeling better. I don't want you talking about and reopening the wounds." "Mom i hate to tell you this, but i'm not over it. I probably never will be i lost my best friend and it was my fault." "Because you were drinking, that impared you." "No...No i KNOW it's more then that." "Ok then if you say so." "I know so, i just gosh i just want to talk to her and see if i can't think of anything to get my brain going."

                                "Ok, if you need to do this then I say go for it." "Thanks, I think it will really help me." "Ok do you want to give her a call maybe and make sure she'll be home?" "I don't know. I don't want to scare her or give her false hope, i really don't know anything." "I think she'll be ok with that, cause you're trying to remember." She put the breaks on and turned into our drive way stopping only breifly to get the mail. 

                                  "Ok go start on your home work, and study i'm sure you have a few test's tommrow." "Ok." i said getting out of the car. My mom helped me get inside and settled in my bed to study and she started on dinner. After i had finished my home work and got through half of my studying my mom pooked her head in the room. "Dinner." She said. "Ok thanks." I went into the kitchen and stuck three pieces of pizza on my plate. It didn't take long for those to dissapear. I must of been more nervouse then i thought about going to see Alysa's mom. My dad just thought it was because "i'm a growing boy." "That's my boy, here have three more peices." I gladly accepted. When dinner was over i rinsed my dish and started to put it in the dish washer but it was full. So i decided to help out and unload it.

                                    My mom came up behind me. "Thank you." She said rinsing her plate and sticking it in the dish washer. I loaded the rest of the dishes and went up to my room to finish up all my homework. When i was done i laid back on my bed trying to figure out what i was going to tell Ms. Renea. I knew she would think i was there because i knew something. I guess i would just ask her what she knew. I fell asleep during my thoughts only to be rudley awoken by my alarm clock.