My dad takes me to school in the morning on his way to work and my mom picks me up. I had trouble getting up the stairs on the bus. My parents don't want me driving so here I am in the front seat of my dad's truck riding to school. They were worried about legal ramifications. Or maybe my license was suspended for a bit. 

                          "So did you get a chance to catch the game this weekend?" My dad asked. "No, you?" "I caught some of it at work, but the end of the month is always so busy. Peterson got a touchdown." "That's good." My dad nodded. He pulled up to the front of the school. "Have a good day." "You too." I said grabbing my back pack and getting out. As soon as I headed for the door I wanted to turn around maybe my dad would come back. No such luck.

                           "Chase, sweetie." Said Shelby, she was agitated I could tell. "What?" I asked, doing my best to sound confused. The big columns of the school shielded my face from the sun. I turned to her. Our school was this huge white two story building. It was this stone stuff that looked somewhat like marble. "So I called you last night." She said. "Yeah uh my mom told me after I got out of the shower but it was to late." "Chase your such a jerk." She slapped my arm." You weren't in the shower. I heard you're mom talking to you and water wasn't running." "I didn't feel like talking." "You NEVER feel like talking, I'm not even surprised." "Maybe because I feel like crap." "Chase you always feel like crap, I am your girlfriend I deserve you talking to me." "Look I can't even remember what happened that day, what am I supposed to tell you!? I don't know anything!"

                         My yelling made her cry. "Shelby don't cry. I'm sorry." I put my hand on her shoulder and I had an image in my head. I was in the car I was driving and Alyssa was crying. But why? I tried to think about that scene to pull something else with it but I couldn't.  "Are you sorry? I mean you've been a pretty rotten boyfriend." She said wiping her cheeks. "I know I have, and I am so grateful that you've been so understanding. You're better then I deserve." I said. "You got that right!"

                      She leaned in to kiss me. The bell rang. "Oh shoot I have a test, I have to get all the way to the other side of the school." "You have five minutes." She said hurt. I held up a crutch. "Takes me longer, but I'll see you at lunch." "OK sweetie." She said sighing. I hobbled off. I could feel her starring at my retreating back but I didn't turn around. I just kept hobbling to class. I wasn't sure where I wanted this to go. She couldn't understand what I was going through and I couldn't expect her to keep being so patient.

                        By lunch time I was hungry. I was almost there when my eyes caught 'it'. And by it I mean Alyssa's locker. I had gotten pretty good at knowing where it was and how to avoid it. You really can't miss it they put a big yellow bow on the front of it. When I saw it I immediately started crying. I always cried when I passed it I did my best to avoid it. Luckily there was nobody in the halls. So I wiped my face and headed to the lunch room.

                    When I got my tray I headed over to where me and my friends usually ate. I was about to pull my chair out and take a seat When my best friend Taylor pulled my arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked. "Yeah sure." We walked out of earshot. "So what's up?" I asked him readjusting my crutches. "I should be asking you that." "What?" "You and Shelby...what's up?" "Nothing." "Yeah there is, you never hang out with her." "I do to." "No she's usually with me and Jessica, or Stacy and Tiffany." "Well I've been busy." "Doing what? Sulking. Dude she's a great girl and if you don't man up she's gonna dump your butt." "Jeez." "I'm serious, she could find a lot of other guys in this school." He said walking back to his seat. I felt a pain in my chest. I knew he was right but I couldn't help it.

                    I saw Alyssa's friends across the room, they moved there chairs to face the other direction. Have you ever seen walk hard? Where the two boys are sword fighting and one of them dies. And the dad keeps saying the wrong son died. That's kind of how I feel sometimes walking through school. People stare, and I know its because I lived and she didn't.  I think all the time it should've been me. I would've given her my place in a heartbeat. I see some of Alyssa's friends every now and then but they do there best to avoid me, I guess you could say they hate me. But I didn't blame one them one single bit.

                   I walked back to the table and started eating. "So what are we doing Tonight?" Shelby asked me. "Oh I'm going to the game with my dad." I said. "What game are you going to?" Asked Taylor. I kicked him under the table with my good foot. "Ow." He mumbled under his breath. His girlfriend turned to him. "Are you ok?" "Yeah I am now." He said rubbing his foot. I shoveled my food into my mouth and the subject got changed.

                  My next period I kept mulling over the image I had in my head of Alysa crying. Why was she crying? Did I do or say something to make her cry? Was she telling me something that made her sad? I couldn't put my finger on it. Nobody had mentioned anything to me about her, not her friends or her mom. Speaking of her mom she hasn't called me in a while. I finally had to tell her if I remember anything I would tell her. Things have been crazy that's for sure.

                   A note got tossed onto my desk. It was from Shelby. 'Can you at least tell me why you don't like me anymore?' Wait, you're worried I don't 'like you anymore? I'm worried you're going to get tired of my crap and leave me. But seriously I thought my talk this morning had settled her. ' I do like you, its just been hard on me because I'm struggling with this, and I know I tell you that a lot, but it's the truth, and I wish it wasn't.' 'so what am I supposed to do?' ' support me, be here for me until I figure it out, I need you.' '=)' That was what she drew a smiley face. Well at least its a start. Girls loved to be told they were needed. She didn't ask about this weekend I guess she believed I was going to the game. I made a mental note to check the score.

                          When school was over I hobbled out to the front of the school and waited for my mom. She pulled up a few minutes later. "Is something wrong?" She asked me on the way to our house. There was but I didn't feel like telling her. "No I'm alright, it's just been a long day." I said running my fingers through my spiky brown hair. I ran my hand over my chin. I had a little bit of stubble coming in. That was the way I liked it I just kept it short, made me look tough. "OK well, did you have any test today?" "Yeah one this morning and two this afternoon." "Did you study?" "Yeah I think I did OK." "That's good." She pulled into the house and helped me out. "Thanks I told her." As I got inside.