// so like im working on the second part of raw but i dont know what else to do with it and im half way through it. well heres my oneshot ig. its still angsty so dont worry.//

i edited this so srry

/ lances POV /

the training bell rang and i slowly got out of bed with no motivation to get up. i look at my arms to see the dried blood that stained my arms from the past couple days.

a few days ago allura thought it was a good idea to get the paladins ignore me for two days to see how i would act. well lets just say it didnt go good and i stayed in my room the whole time. i had everything i needed in there, my books, my songs, my knife. i was all good.

i made about 40 cuts in the past two days. i was just going to stay in my room again not knowing the "training" was over. i went to the bathroom and when under the sink.i put it to my arms and press. blood gushes out of my arm and a watch it fall to the floor. i made several more after that one and they all got deeper and deeper. after i was done i got a towel and washed the blood off my arm and the floor and got in the shower.

the water dripped from my face down onto my arms as i hissed in pain. i do pretty good at keeping the pain in but this time it was too much. i screamed out and hurried to turn off the water. once the water was off i looked at what i had done to my once beautiful tan skin, and watched as the rest of the blood dripped from my arms.

i got out of the shower and wrapped my towel around my waist and grabbed the bandages from underneath the sink. i wrapped the white cloth around my arms and put it back.

i jumped as i heard a loud knock at my door. i hurried to put on my clothes and i made sure to put my jacket on to cover my arms.

" who is it and what do you want?" i say in a not-so-friendly tone.

" its time for training so just get you ass out here." i hear the voice say as i didnt know who it was due to the door muffling the voice.

" alright one second, just leave me alone like you did for the past two days!"

i hear a small gasp from the person and then they walk away taking a hint. i put on my armor, careful not to open any scabs. i walk into the training room looking hideous as i didnt bother to do my facial routine or my hair. everyone looked at me with a surprise face as they have never seen me like this.

i stayed silent as i walked to the line of people ready to train. allura took a second to take in my appearance then finally started explaining the training.

" as you all know, accept lance, the training for the past two days was to see how the paladin would react to being ignored for days at a time. this will happen to you at random."

" anyways, since someone didnt bother to come out of their room the whole time corran got out a memory scanner to see what you did for the past two days." allura said looking strait into my eyes as everyone else nodded their head. i started to shake thinking about everything they could find out. hunk put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him.

H" are you ok?" L "how can i be, you are just going to look into my brain and go through all my personal stuff!" P " oh? did someone do something naughty in his room for two days strait??" she said with a smirk L " NO, i-i just dont want to d-do this ok?" i say with a hopeful tone A " no lance, we need to know what you did since you been so distant"

i suddenly feel myself being pushed into the chair and a helmet being placed on my head.

/lances memories/

the screen comes to life as we see lance staring at himself in the mirror.

" am i really that useless that they all forgot about me.... well i guess this wouldnt be the first time something like this happened, heh..." lances tears fall on the counter as lance struggled to hold himself up. he bends over to get in to cabinet under the sink and pulled out a razor.

the tears stopped falling as he looked at it. he bung his eyes up to met his reflection as he lifted up his sleeves to reveal the old and newer scars that littered his arm. he made 15 on day one.

(the next day)

lance gets up and looks at himself in the mirror again. he pulled out a book and puts on music to try to keep his mind off the voices that rang inside his head. he got about two pages in before he got up and started to pace his room. he griped the sides of his head and started to mumble.

" not today, please......yes i know im worthless..............thats true....well, ok, just a couple."

lance walked into the bathroom and got out the blade out that he used the day before and pressed it to his skin.

*time skip to after*

lance was now balling his eyes out as he now noticed what he had done. he said he would only do a couple and then they turned into 25. he slowly got into bed and turned the volume up on the speakers and layed down. he didnt clean his arms and he had already gotten comfy so he decided to do it the next day. and with that lance slowly drifted into a uneasy sleep.

/ no ones pov /

every person in the room was crying.' what had they done to make lance this sad', is what they all thought. lance came back and took off the helmet and looked at the ground with sad yet angry face.

" i told you i didnt want to do this." lance said with a cold tone that sent shivers down the paladins spines. keith went up to lance and and and looked at him.

" the video ended early and when i went to get you, i heard you running around. what were you doing." he said with a VERY serious tone.

" n-nothing." lance said while pulling his arms to his chest.

"let me see your arms, now." keith said holding out his hand.

" NO!" lance said as he went to stand and walk out of the room.

keith grabbed his arm as that was the only thing that was available at the moment.

lance screamed out in pain and fell to the ground. keith sat next to him and lifted his sleeves lance was now sobbing and was folded over his knees.everyone was gathered around keith was waiting to see the damage lance had done to himself.

keith slowly removed the bandages from his arms. he started shaking, pidge had her hand to her mouth, shiro had his head between his knees, allura and corran were holding each other, and hunk was crying.vlance had to have about 80 cuts that he had done in three days time.

" i s-sorry i such a s-screw up." lance said trying to stop crying.

all the paladins ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug they could manage without hurting his arms.

"we are so-so sorry lance." allura said as the team nodded.

months passed and lance slowly got better but not quick enough to save himself from cutting every once and awhile. keith and lance started dating and keith helped lance whenever he could make it on time.

lance had a pretty good life after that but that all changed when shiro disappeared. lance was back to cutting 10+ times a day.

no one could save him from the darkness that clouded his mind

// srry, i wanted to make the ending different from all the others. welp gn ig//

~V