Warning: Only hurt no comfort. I am bad at comforting. *Runs away*

I suggest you listen to "My R" by Rachie while reading this.

It's raining. The sky is crying for him. Life is cruel and it's nothing new to him. He learned it when it took away his parents and burned Lotus Pier to ashes. He learned it when it took his golden core away against his will. He learned it when it took his sister, Jiang Yanli away from him. He learned it when it made him kill his shixiong, Wei Wuxian.

Most of all, he learns it once again. Again when it takes away his nephew, Jin Ling. He had sworn to protect Jin Ling with his life. But was he able to do it? Was he? No... No, he wasn't. What are the points of this life when he swore he will live the rest of his life and bring happiness to Jin Ling?

What is the point? Why did he swear something he can't?

Faint laughter echoes in his head. He looks away from the window to see before him. Jin Ling. He is laughing. His laughter reminds him of Jiang Yanli.

"Jiujiu!" the two years old Jin Ling calls as he extends his hand toward Jiang Cheng to pick him up.

Subconsciously, he goes to pick him up. That's his nephew. But the image vanishes right when he reaches for him.

Thousands of daggers and needles pierce through his heart. Again, a voice calls him weakly. But it's enough to add more needles in his dead heart which is still beating, "Jiujiu..." the voice calls. He chooses to ignore it when the voice calls again, "Don't leave me Jiujiu... Please... Don't..."

Subconsciously he turns to see Jin Ling for a second. Weak, burning in fever, pale... A smile on his lip forms weakly like his sister.

His heart stops beating for a second. He lowers his head. Jin Ling was poisoned and he was unable to do anything. He watched him dying. Then start remembering how he lived till this long. From the very beginning...

Seventeen years old Jiang Cheng, watched his home burn down, his parents die, humiliated under the roof of his own house, losing his core... That moment he didn't die because he told himself, "A-Jie and Wei Wuxian are alive. I will live for them."

When Wei Wuxian got missing, he told himself to live for his sister. Revenge for his parents.

At the age of twenty-three, he lost his jiejie and his shixiong. That time he told himself to live for Jin Ling. Since then he only lived in this world for Jin Ling, his nephew. Now when Jin Ling isn't here, why should he live to suffer?

He looks in the mirror. His reflection. He is a mess. His face is pale, his hair loose and messed up, and dark circles under his eyes.

"Why is the heart still beating?" he asks himself, placing his hand over his chest. He feels his heart beating rhythmically. He feels suffocated suddenly. "Jin Ling is dead, my last family. I can die now. I don't have to worry about protecting someone or someone crying for me."

"It's better than suffering. Why am I waiting?" He searches for something around his room. His sword, Sandu. It was always with him during every fight. He will use this to die.

The cold blade touches his throat and thrusts in. Like his sister, he falls to the floor. The same way of death but different because of dies accidently while the latter commits suicide. Sandu will be with him till the end.

He smiles through his pain, and says in his mind, "The heart will stop beating. I am coming... A-Niang, A-Die, A-Jie, A-Ling..."

His heart stops beating. As he couldn't find any reason why will the heartbeat in his chest, it stops.

*

*

*

The fearsome, cold-blooded Sandu Shengshou committed suicide for some reason no one knows besides Wei Wuxian, his Shixiong who is standing in front of his grave...

"Jiang Cheng..." he says, holding a letter. "You forgave me but never told me yourself. Shidi, did you have anything more to say to me?" he asks no one in particular as the raindrops make him wet from head to toe.

-The End-

A/N: Sorry for being bad at writing angst.

-Bonus-

Yes, Jiang Cheng prepared a letter to send to Wei Wuxian long agoooo! Even before Jin Ling died. But he never sends it. The day he decides to send it to Wei Wuxian, the news of Jin Ling being poisoned comes to his ear. So he never got the chance to send it. When he died, the disciples found him dead in his room and the head disciple's eyes fall on the table where a letter, prepared to send is. He checks the receiver's name and saw it's for Wei Wuxian.

As Jiang Cheng committed suicide, he thought before dying, Jiang Cheng must have had something to tell Wei Wuxian. So he believed Wei Wuxian should get it, as Jiang Cheng's shixiong once upon a time.

Thanks to the head disciple, Wei Wuxian got the letter in his hand.