WARNING: I will be mentioning depression and suicidal tendencies (very vague, but there) in this chapter.  I won't go to into great depth (not in my opinion, at least), but if this is a touchy subject for you,  or something that upsets you - I would advise skipping that section or even the chapter.  As I did in the beginning, I will mark when it starts, when it ends, and leave a summary at the beginning of the next chapter for you if you'd rather skip it.
Also: this is based around my own personal experience with these two things, so please be gentle.

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Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

I opened my eyes just a crack to find Virgil trying to be sneaky as he creeped back in my room, quietly closing the door behind him.  I peeked out from behind my mostly closed eyelids just enough so that he wouldn't notice I was awake as he settled down in the white rocking chair at my bedside.

He settled in the chair, pulling up a fluffy red blanket and tucking it at his waist.  He pulled his hood lower on his head, sparing a quick glance at me, before shutting his eyes and turning on the music in his headphones.

After two minutes, Virgil's lips parted as he slipped into sleep.

I gently made my way to my feet once I was absolutely certain he was asleep, spreading my wings out wide to help me keep my balance.  Being in my room had helped me heal a lot faster.

Not that Virgil staying with me hurt any.

I made my way across the floor of my bedroom, slowly testing each step, hesitant.  Thankfully there were no issues and I made it to my bathroom with no issues, besides some expected stiffness from not moving much.  I finally enjoyed taking a long awaited shower.  Still, I made it quick, assuming that if Virgil woke up and found me gone...

Once I had finished, I quickly peeked out into my room to check on Virgil.  He seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

My room was one of the few exceptions to the corruption rule.  It does affect the others, but it affects everyone much slower than the other rooms, and it doesn't really affect anyone at all when sleeping, beyond having abnormally rather vivid dreams.

Not that it was usually a bad thing.  Vivid dreams are good for creating.  But... that also means that nightmares can be twice as rough.

I quickly scanned Virgil, glancing to see if he appeared to be having any nightmares.  He at least appeared to be sleeping peacefully, not stirring.  I smiled at that.  I liked making sure he was happy.

I sighed at the turn my thoughts had taken, running a hand through my still drying hair.  It was... was a bit of an obsession of mine.  Being happy, that is.  

Ever since I lost my wings, I never wanted to be unhappy.  And I wanted everyone to be happy around me.  So I started throwing parties.  I got addicted to the energy of happiness and I've never let go.

Or at least, not by choice.

(Trigger Warning: depression and suicidal tendencies)

I've relapsed into my depression more than once, it's natural for me by now.  Especially after I've been forced to be creative so much it can cause just a period where I'm mentally just - just drained.  And it's no ones fault, but there's not really much anyone can do about it either.  

It's just one of those things... it just takes time.

Still, it certainly fuels my fire for creativity.  As I start reaching the end of my depressed episodes, I get very creative and I spin into this - this cloud nine of energy, which twists into happiness.  When I'm creating, I'm happy.  I guess that's because it's my purpose.  I feel like I'm doing some good.

And also because one of my fears is being sad.

Sure there's nothing wrong with being sad every now and again, but... too much sadness... especially at the intensity of the sadness I felt - the point where sadness turns to just numbness - I never want to fall back into the place where I was.  It... it wasn't a good place.  Not a safe place to be either.

Maybe it's part of what draws me to Virgil.  He is... on the brink of that - that dark, dark place where I was and I - I want to save him.  I want to save him, be the one that makes him happy again.

(Trigger Warning Over)

I smiled dryly at my reflection.  Virgil has changed me, he's changed me so much.  I used to be such - such a JERK.  Being on cloud nine... it can sometimes make you forget about making others happy, treating them the way they deserve.  And being Thomas's ego it can be hard to keep myself in check - not treating myself like I'm better than everyone else.

Virgil keeps me grounded.

And that's only one of the many reason why I need him.

Virgil makes Thomas better.

He makes me better.

"Daydreaming about me, Princess?"

I spun to find Virgil in the doorway, leaning against the door frame.  I smiled, falling out of my thoughts.  "Always," I teased in return.

Virgil huffed at that, rolling his eyes, amused - not realizing the truth in my statement.  "How long was I out?  And why didn't you wake me?"

"My room doesn't corrupt as fast as yours," I told me, smiling at his dark frame.  "And it doesn't corrupt in your sleeping.  Just gives you some vivid dreams."

Virgil nodded like this sounded right, hesitantly opting to stay for a while.  "That woulda been nice to know a while ago when Patton was walking me out every ten minutes."

"Sorry - come on," I said, pulling Virgil back over to my bed, sliding on top of it, stomach down - stretching my wings upwards.  

Virgil didn't join me on the bed - finding himself perfectly comfortable on the rocking chair.  I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't pressure him.  I'd done enough pushing in our relationship for the both of us.

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Point of View: Virgil, First Person

"Look Roman... we need to talk," I said.  I hated to ruin this, ruin this small bit of peace we were having, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.  It was driving me crazy.

I need to - to be very careful about how I do this, I thought.  I have to be.  Not only for Roman, but for everyone.  If I mess this up...

Roman didn't seem very surprised at the statement.  He sighed, turned off the television - promptly ending our Disney movie marathon - and face me properly, still lying on his stomach.

"Fire away, my Emo Nightmare."

I tugged anxiously on my hoodie sleeves.  "You already know what I want to know, Roman."

"I'd rather you ask," Roman replied curtly.  "This is... a big topic and it'd be better for me to cover that things you don't understand rather than tell you everything I know all over again. What is on your mind?"

"If – If THAT was the repercussions of you only being heartsick then – then what happens when your heart breaks, Roman?" I blurted out.

Silence.

"Do you have the intention of breaking it?" Roman asked, his voice quiet. His eyes flickered between mine, searching for the truth.

I softened. "Of course not."

Roman relaxed at that, tension rolling out of his shoulders and he smiled a little.

"I think that if we've learned anything after all this, Roman, it's that I love you."

Roman brightened at that, smile growing.

"But - "

His smile faltered and my heart broke a little.

But it was okay.

Because it was my heart.

Not Roman's.

"I – I just don't know if I can trust you, Roman," I said, which was totally true by the way. "You hid something major from me, Roman. I can't just forget that."

"O-Okay then, maybe deserved that," Roman admitted, sitting up. "But I can promise you no more secrets. And... I'll stop pressing you to tell me yours."

I laughed dryly and Roman frowned, sliding off the edge of his bed, standing.  I rose to my feet as well, wanting to be on the same eye level as him.

"I mean it," Roman repeated, taking a step forward as if being closer to me would convince me. "I mean it. I do. Don't you... you don't believe me," he finished softly, voice low with disbelief.

"I - I believe that you mean it right now, Roman. I think even you think that you're going to stay true to your promise. But... no, I don't think you'll keep it."

Roman still looked stunned. "Why?" he whispered. "I don't understand."

I fidgeted. "I don't think you'd do it out of ill will," I admitted, eyes fixated on my boots. "But because you'll change your mind the next time something like this – hopefully not quite to this extreme – happens. You'll try and protect me. You can't help it. It'you're a Prince... it's in your... DNA," My face twisted at the awkwardness in that last sentence before I shook my head and moved on. "And... and I can't sit here waiting to see when that is, constantly afraid that you're hiding something from me."

"Look - I promise that I won't -"

"Roman."

"- hide anything from you-"

"Prince."

"-I'll do whatever it takes-"

"PRINCEY."

Roman's mouth parted in surprise, in what I assumed meant he was stunned into silence.

"Princey?" Roman repeated, taking a stunned step backwards in shock, not at all a good thing. "Virgil, you... you haven't called me Princey since... since before I got my wings back." Roman stood there, hurt and confused and I made myself backtrack. I was taking this too far. I needed to dial it back a little. Gosh, this was such a fine line-

"I – I just needed your attention," I lied. "Look – I've been a little stressed lately. I – I just need time, Prince. Can you give that to me?" I asked, eyes pleading behind my bangs.

Roman's eyes softened in forgiveness, but I knew he was still hurting.

"Everything's been... too much lately. I – I think I just need some time to myself."

Roman gasped at the statement before quickly composing himself. "You... you want to break up?" he asked, voice tight and strained.

"I want you to wait for me."

Roman's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I – I don't want to break up with you, Roman," I explained – once again, totally true. "And I want to give myself completely to you – I don't like the secrets, I want to be with someone who I don't have to put up my walls around."

Roman was quiet for a moment.  "I didn't think you had any walls left," Roman admitted quietly. "Not around me anyway."

I shook my head. "You've only just begun to take down the walls of a giant castle, Roman. Sure you've made some headway – more than anyone else has cared to. But there are still a lot of things I'm keeping from you and... and that isn't fair to you."

"No, Virgil. You weren't comfortable with sharing and... and it was wrong of me to ask that of you."

I raised my eyebrows, dryly. "Did you just admit you were wrong?"

"I did no such thing - hush and stop changing the subject."

"I think you just admitted that you were wrong."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think it went something like: it was wrong of me - "

"Don't make me regret it," Roman snapped, but he was smiling a little.

"So you DID admit you were wrong," I smirked.

"Stop changing the subject, Virgil. This is serious," Roman said, but I could tell that bit of witty banter had helped.

I didn't say anything that wasn't true.

I just didn't say all of it.

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Point of View: Roman, First Person (sorry for all the point of view changes my bad lol)

"Stop changing the subject, Virgil.  This is serious."

Virgil rolled his eyes in response, adjusting his headphones a bit, which were resting on his collarbone, slightly in what I assumed was a more comfortable position.

"...Virge?"I asked tentatively.

"Yes Roman?"

"W-Why are you doing this? Is it because of... my problem?"

Virgil shook his head.  "I'm not gonna lie and say that it isn't, but it's not the only thing, Roman.  I want to protect your feelings, Roman.  They're a bit more fragile than mine," he said, smirking dryly trying to lighten the tension between us.

"What about your feelings, Virgil?" Virgil blinked at that, acutely surprised as if his own feelings hasn't even occurred to him.  He almost looked impressed.  Or maybe he was just surprised that I had thought about it.  Maybe a bit of both. "Doesn't it matter how you feel?"

Virgil let out a dry laugh and I flinched at the coldness in it. "My feelings have never mattered, Prince."

"Your feelings matter to me."

Virgil went quiet at my confession.

"I've said it before," I continued, "And I'll say it again. All I ever want is for you to be happy, Virgil. You deserve someone who makes you happy."

"And if I told you that you didn't make me happy?"

I prompted stopped breathing at that. Anx looked up at me, pity in his eyes and regret written all over his face. But he didn't take it back, he wanted to know my response. He needed to know my response.

My head dropped at that, falling in defeat.

"Then... I'd let you go," I answered softly.

_____________________
You know that thing authors talk about where the characters sort of start taking over and writing their own story?
This is one of those chapters.

And I have the rest of this book planned out - so here's the schedule!  The last chapter will go up on January 1st (2018 for the late squad)!  The Sequel's first chapter will also be going up that same day and we're just gonna jump right into it (but less uploads so that I can get the Logicality version of this story [Maybe One Day] caught up)!  (shamelessselfpromolol)

Voters:

pupqz123
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SoftxRacoon
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Commenter: SoftxRacoon
Comment: not only are you choosing his heart, you're also choosing his happiness. This is gonna break your heart and break your spirit

Me: Imma just say this again.  You are so. Freakin'. Perceptive.

So... yeah the next chapter is the last one.  Just that and then the epilogue.
And then... this story is done.
That'll be a first for me.

- Max :)