I'm doin' the flashbacks with a flashback again!  NOT Underlined bits are the flashbacks.

_________________

Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Flashback (cont.)

I knocked on Anxiety's door, suddenly nervous. What if he said no?

Virgil opened the door, looking surprise to see me.  He yanked his headphones off his head.  "Hey, Roman."

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" I asked.

Virgil's head tilted to the side, suddenly curious.  "No," he admitted.

"Well you do now," I said, smiling.  "Common rooms, eight-o-clock.  No coming out of your room until that time," I point my finger at him, emphasizing the importance.

"And if I do?"

I scoffed. "Don't test me, Hot Topic," I said, winking before leaving and heading for the living room.

Patton and Logan were already there - Patton holding like five cookies in his hand.  He was looking surprised at Logan as if Logan had just admitted to disliking puppies or something.

"I just don't see the big deal," Logan was saying once I got within earshot.

"Bu-Bu-Bu-But they're COOKIES LOGAN."

Logan shrugged. "I don't dislike cookies," he said, sounding like he was repeating himself. "I just don't really understand why you - or anyone for that matter - would want to eat so many so often."

Patton noticed that I had arrived and frowned at Logan.  "We are talking more about this later," he said firmly.  "So Roman. What's the plan?"

I smiled.

***

"OW! Roman!"

"Sorry," I hummed, excited.

"If you're gonna lead me, could you like -  I don't know, make sure I don't walk into a table!"

"I said I was sorry," I repeated.  "Are you ready?"

"More anxious but sure we'll go with that."

I rolled my eyes before remembering that he couldn't see it anyway.  I yanked off the blindfold.

I bit my lip, trying to read his reaction.

The Imagination's sky was full of the brightest stars - the kind people picture in their head when they think of stars, always brighter and bigger than they actually are.  The entire dirt path was covered in purple rose petals and tiny twinkling Christmas lights, all glowing a faint white, leading to a cliff side.

I shifted nervously as Virgil didn't respond.

"What... what do you think?" I asked tentatively.  I was so nervous I was sure that Virgil could tell, growing more Anxious as he didn't respond.

"Roman... this is amazing," he said, finally turning to look at me and I realized there were tears in his eyes.  "This... this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me."

I blushed under his praise.  "Shall we?" I said, holding out my hand.

Virgil took it gladly, with his trademark gentle smile.

I took him up to the edge of the cliff, sitting down at the edge. Virgil remained standing, looking out on the view ahead of us.  There was no wind and I'd been up here load of times so I knew it was safe.  It was a beautiful view with a never ending view of a calm sea.

"This is usually where I come to think of my ideas," I admitted. "I wanted to share this place with you," I said, turning to Virgil to see his thoughts.

"It's beautiful, Roman," he whispered, settling down next to me.

I smiled at his praise. I wasn't exactly sure if he would like this, but I had hoped.

"I- I didn't think you'd want a promise ring," I blushed.  "But I wanted to give you something.  I... I hope you like it," I said pulling the dark purple and black flower crown from behind my back.

Virgil's eyes widened and then softened at the sight. He gently took it from my hands and placed it on his head.  He gave a small giggle at the flower crown on his head and I couldn't help smiling back at the most beautiful sound coming from his lips.

Virgil immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

I laughed too, grinning wide and Virgil couldn't help smiling behind his hand, I could tell by the way his eyes brightened.

"This... this is amazing, Roman. Thank you for showing me," Virgil said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.

"Thank you for letting me."

We both gazed up at the sky.

"Fun fact," I started. "I make wishes on them every time I come up here," I admitted. "I love wishes. They're one of my favorite things in the world."

"What do you wish for?" Virgil asked, quietly, twisting to look at me properly.  "And just stars? Not shooting stars?"

I winked at him in response.  "Nice try - still waiting for it to come true."

Virgil rolled his eyes, amused, but not surprised.

"I wish on both - shooting stars and stars alike," I answered.

Virgil didn't say anything and I could tell he was falling deep in thought.

I leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and holding in this moment, this feeling as long as I could.

_________

We didn't make it very long before our first fight.

A whole three days, actually.

Sure everything was nice before that - great, actually - but we ARE totally opposites. I was actually surprised that it took so long.  We don't exactly see eye to eye on everything.

...okay.

We don't exactly see eye to eye on A LOT of things.

But our biggest arguments weren't actually... disagreements.  More of... 

Well...

_____

We were cuddling innocently on the couch, watching Nightmare Before Christmas when it happened.

"What do you even like about me?" Virgil grumbled, pulling away from me, out of nowhere.  "I'm - I'm so new at this, I'm not good enough for you, it'll only be a matter of time before you see it, so we should just end this before one of us gets hurt."

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked, frowning at the rather sudden accusation, ripping my eyes from the screen.  "Where did this come from?"

Virgil didn't answer; he simply got to his feet, leaving me alone on the couch.  "I - I'm so - I am so bad at this.  I - I'm not ready, Roman. I thought I was, but..." Virgil said, not looking at me and rubbing the back of his neck subconsciously.  "And - I can't do this. I'm sorry, Roman.  I - I guess this is just - just happening too fast."

I got to my feet, taking his hands that was closer to me and holding it tightly.  "We can take it slow - there's no rush," I smiled.

Virgil didn't respond, but his face was still dark and I could tell he was still overthinking.

"I see SO MUCH in you, Virgil," I admitted. "You are so so beautiful - and I hope that I can help show you how."

Virgil pulled away, shaking his head.  

"You're just saying that 'cause we have the same face."

At that, I grabbed his shoulder and yanked hard - forcing him to face me.  Virgil's eyes widened, surprised.  I gently pressed my lips against his and caught his tiny gasp - he gasped every time I kissed him, like he was surprised and I was finding myself loving it - and I pulled him closer.

Hesitantly, Virgil kissed me back, arms wrapping around my neck to pull me closer.  I grabbed him by his black skinny jean belt loops and yanked him closer.  Virgil gasped again and I smirked at his reaction, but pulling back soon after nonetheless.  I was Virgil's first boyfriend after all.

"We might have almost the same face," I corrected,  "But you really ARE beautiful, Virgil.  I mean - I certainly don't find your dark-angsty-atheistic unappealing," I smirked, winking.

Virgil rolled his eyes, amused, starting to pull away.

"But..." I continued, hold him tightly against me - my cheeks flushing with embarrassment, my heart still beating faster at his closeness.

"What?" Virgil tensed.

"When I called you beautiful... I wasn't talking about your looks," I admitted.

Virgil froze at that, eyes widening, the faintest of a blush on his cheeks.

I leaning forward, giving him a quick kiss.  "Maybe one day I'll tell you how," I said pulling away, leaving an acutely stunned Virgil behind.

_____

But... it didn't last.

_____

"Virgil? Are you in here?"  I asked, knocking gently on Virgil's door.

No response.

"Virge?" I asked rapping on the door a little harder.  Maybe he was sleeping with his headphones on again.

And the door swung open.

I froze in the doorway, not expecting the door to flat out open.  I peeked inside and -

Where was Virgil?

I walked in and spun around, frowning. He had to be in here. He wasn't the type of side to leave his door unlocked without being here himself.

And then I noticed the light coming out from a door that I hadn't noticed before, and probably wouldn't have noticed at all if it wasn't so dark in here.

I walked over and peeked through the secret door and -

NO WAY.

Was... was this... was this a recording studio?  Why would Virgil have a -

I took a deep breath as I realized what was happening.

Virgil... was... singing.

And... it was the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.

He hadn't noticed me in the doorway.  So I stood there stunned as he continued singing with his eyes shut and secretly amazing voice. 

I'd never heard him sing before so I just assumed that he couldn't or at the very least didn't think he could.

I was so wrong.

I stood there absolute spellbound as Virgil sang until he opened his eyes and he finally saw me.

"What the heck Prince!" He yelled abruptly, eyes dark and angry.

I tried to say anything but I just stood there - a stammering mess.

"Out! OUT!" Virgil came out of the booth angrily and I stumbled backwards like a stunned potato and Virgil literally SHOVED ME OUT OF HIS ROOM.

The door slammed shut I just stood out in the hallway - trying to wrap my head around the - the absolute INSANITY that just occurred.

Virgil... singing?  He had an amazing voice - the closest to Thomas's typical singing voice, where I was where most of his belting and riffs came from.  I didn't know where his harmonizing and, well, normal singing voice came from. 

But I never would have guessed that it would have been VIRGIL.

I spun around quickly, banging my fist aggressively against the door.  "Virgil! Why didn't you tell me you could sing?!"

"Go AWAY!" he yelled back, not bothering to open the door, but at least I knew he was listening.

"Why?!" I yelled through the door, pressing my ear against it to hear him better. If he was determined to keep a door between us, fine, but I wanted to know - know where THAT came from.  "Why didn't you tell me you could sing?!"

"Prince I said GO AWAY!"

"I'm not leaving until I get an answer!"

"Well I guess that you're gonna be there for a while! Enjoy sleeping the hallway!" Virgil returned snarkily. 

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I said, ignoring him.  "Why didn't you tell me you had a recording studio in your room? Why didn't you tell me you could sing?! Did you write that song?!"

The door flew open and Anxiety glared at me like I had just burned all of his hoodies, making me take a nervous step backwards.

"I'm not going to warn you again, Prince. Leave. Me. Alone," he said, through gritted teeth, voice low.

"Virge, that... that was amazing.  Why do you want me to leave?" I asked, mystified and still in a bit of awe.

Virgil almost looked stunned for a moment before his face darkened. "Oh, sorry I don't like my boyfriend SPYING on me."

My jaw dropped. "I wasn't spying! I just came over here to see you! The door opened right up - if I thought you didn't want me in here, it would have stayed shut.  Don't try and blame this on me," I frowned, starting to get annoyed.

"Likely story - you were snooping and you found me.  Don't try to lie and say otherwise."

"I'm not lying!" I protested.

"And how would I know?" Virgil said, taking a step forward, angrily.  "Wouldn't be the first time you lied to my face, now would it?"

I stood there for a moment, not seeing anything but red for a moment.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  I can't remember the last time I was this furious.  But we didn't need angry words, we needed compromise.  

Relationships are built on compromise and communication - fighting with each other would solve nothing.

I exhaled softly when I was ready, opening my eyes. "I am not lying to you," I said, my voice low and controlled.  "I guess I can't blame you for asking, but I have not lied to you.  I'm sorry - next time I will get your permission."

Virgil shifted, looking embarrassed and a bit calmer himself.  "I - I'm sorry, Roman," he muttered.  "I... should have known that you would've asked.  Sorry for accusing you."

I smiled, glad that our argument hadn't grown into something much worse or any bigger.  "So," I asked, now that our little fight was resolved.  "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"No," Virgil answered quickly, face darkening again.

My jaw dropped for a second time. "Why not?"

"I don't want to," Virgil said, stepping back and shutting the door before I could even get a response.  "I don't have to tell you everything, Prince. And if you thinking being my boyfriend is going to change that fact that I have a lot of secrets and the fact that I'm going to keeping a lot of them from you, you are very VERY wrong.  If that bothers you-" Virge stopped, leaving me to understand where the rest of that sentence was going.

"Are you serious right now?" My voice was half disbelief, half frantically trying to understand what he was saying.

"Oh, are you saying that you don't have secrets from me, Prince?  'Cause I'm sure you got plenty of secrets of your own that you haven't told me."

I froze. 

He can't know, he can't know about Logan and Patton's theory.  He CAN'T.

My face darkened and Virgil stood there for a moment, looking a little surprised and hurt.  He didn't really think that I was keeping secrets from him. But before I could read anything else, his face went back to the blank, dark slate.

And he shut the door again.

"Go back to your room, Prince!" he yelled through the door.

And I snapped.

"You're acting like a child!" I yelled through the door, kicking it annoyed.

"Says the one leaving shoe prints on my door!" Virgil yelled back.

Patton swung around the corner, eyes flashing between me and Virgil's closed door.  "Kiddo? Is... is everything... alright?"

I felt like Patton had been asking that question too much lately.

"Did you know that V- Anxiety sings?" I almost slipped up.  "He's really good and he even has a whole studio in there," I said waving a hand at Virgil's room.

He shifted, cheeks flushing.  "I knew," Patton admitted.

I stared, shocked. How did he know?

"He summoned me on accident when he was having an anxiety attack once.  He was in the studio when it happened," he explained.

Logan swung around the corner.  "Patton, are you - " he broke off, taking in the scene in front of him.  He took in my reaction, the shoe prints on Anxiety's door, and Patton's guilty expression.  "He found out about the studio, didn't he?" Logan guessed.

"You knew about it too?" I gasped out, hurt.  Was I really the last one to know?

"I - I helped him learn how to operate it," Logan said, eyes looking at me with pity.

I was silent for a moment.

I - I was supposed to know things about him that no one else did.  How could he not trust me with something he trusted Patton and Logan with but not me? What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't he trust me?  Why couldn't he just let me in?

"Okay," I said simply, sinking out.

I sunk down right into my bathroom, feeling lightheaded - and not because of the sink out. 

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was pale - paler than Virgil.  I dropped next to the toilet, doing my best to keep those five slices of pizza that I had for dinner in my stomach.

I felt so dizzy and I didn't even care that my face was resting against the cold porcelain, all my focus in breathing calming.

I suddenly found my uniform too warm and I yanked it over my head and tossing it behind me.  I focused on take breaths and shivered at the cold, the gentle cold welcoming to my body which felt like it was on fire.

"What the heck, Prince?!" Huh. It almost sounded like... like Virgil...

"Did you seriously summon me to your - oh my gosh, Roman are you okay? Roman?" Virgil said racing over to me, kneeling at my side.  

Oh. I.... must've... summoned 'im 'ere by mis'ake...

"I... what? What... are.. ya doin' 'ere?" I muttered dizzily. "Thought you 'ere mad at meh," I mumbled, cheek still resting on the toilet seat and starting to feel like I was on fire again.

"I - No, no," Virgil said softly, brushing my bangs back, which had fallen into my face.  "It - It's okay," he said.  "What's wrong?"

"Dizzy. Hot," I mumbled, switching to rest my forehead on the seat.

"Do... do you think you're gonna be sick?" Virgil asked, tentatively.

"I dunno," I mumbled.  "Don't think so.  I... wanna nap," I muttered, sliding down to the cold floor and pressing my hot cheek against it, not even caring about anything other than the pain in my stomach and head.  And it was hot.

"Are you sure you don't want Logan to come check you out?"

"No," I answered, lying on the floor. Maybe it was just me, but I almost felt like I was getting better just talking to Virgil.  "Just sleepy.  Can ya help meh?" I asked, my arm reaching out part of the way before falling lamely on the floor.

Virgil bent down and basically carried me to my bed - I wasn't much help.  I flopped on the bed and Virgil sat down next to me, eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

I reached up and pulled him down so he was lying on his back.  Virgil let out a small yelp of surprise but I ignored him.

"Are you mad at meh?" I asked finally, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Nah," Virgil said after a moment, thankfully not moving and simply pushing my bangs out of my face again. "Nah... I'm not mad at you."

"I don't want you to me mad at me," I whimpered.

"I'm not mad at you, Roman."

"I don't want you to be mad at me - I want you to be happy," I rambled deliriously. "I want you to be happy and I really really don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Roman."

"Are you happy?" I asked, looking up, tears in my eyes.

Virgil didn't say anything.

Tears pooled in my eyes.  "I - I want to make you happy," I continued. "I want to make you so happy but if I don't make you happy then I won't fight to keep you.  I just want you to be happy... even if that happiness isn't with me.  Are you happy, Virgil?"

Virgil smiled softly for a moment. "I haven't been happy for a long time, Roman," he admitted. "We all have our demons - and not all of them die as easily."

My heart sank and I started to pull away.  No need in giving him affection he did not want, or care for if it didn't make him happy.

"But," Virgil continued, stopping me in my tracks.  "But you Roman bring me to closest to happy that I've ever been."

My eyes shimmered with unreleased tears.  "I love you, Virgil Sanders."

Virgil sat there a little stunned at the remark. "Wow you really are sick. That's it. I'm getting Logan," Virgil said, getting to his feet.

"No!" I cried out.  "Please don't leave me," I asked, my voice small.

Virgil hesitated before finally staying, come back over to my bed.

"I mean it, I mean it," I mumbled, grabbing his arm and cuddling into I didn't even care what. "You don't have to say it back.  I just want you to know that I mean it."

"Shh," Virgil whispered, clearly thinking that I was delusional. "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"I mean it, I mean it, Virgil. I love you, I love you..." I repeated over and over until I finally drifted to sleep.

***

When I woke up the next morning, Virgil was gone.  I made my way to my feet, feeling that I had a restless sleep but actually pretty good.

I waved my hand and Logan popped up in my room.  "Ah, Roman.  I assume that you're feeling better?" he questioned.

"Your theory," I said, ignoring his question.  "Your theory is correct."

Logan's eyes widened.  "How do you know?" he asked, voice lowered.

"Believe me," I grimaced. "I can just tell, Logan.  But I'm begging you, please don't tell V-Anxiety. Please," I begged.

Logan lowered his head slightly in response, eyes filled with what almost looked like pity.  Huh. That was probably the closest I'd seen him come to expressing an emotion.

"What is going to be your alibi?" he asked.  "You need a reason for getting sick."

"Say I'd forgotten to eat lunch," I said, not looking at Logan.  I didn't want to keep lying, especially since our last argument, but I wasn't going to tell him about the theory and that was final.

Logan nodded.  "Patton is making breakfast," he answered softly.

I nodded softly in response, as Logan sunk out and I dropped my head in my hands.

***

I smiled at Virgil at breakfast.  He had a big plate of pancakes in front of him.

"You feeling better?" he asked, seeing me.

"I need to talk to you," I said, cutting to the chase.

Virgil's eyebrows raised in response, surprise.  "Now?" he asked.

I nodded. "It's important."

He frowned and followed me down the hallway.

Once we were out of earshot of the others, I spun around, pinning Virgil against the wall.  He let out a gasp of surprise and I took the opportunity, quickly capturing his surprise with my lips.

The kiss was forceful and passionate - more powerful than any kiss we'd had before.  There was a sense of urgency behind it, the need to kiss him that I couldn't hold back anymore.

I only pulled away when we were both gasping for air, Virgil's eyes wide.

"W-What was that for?"

"I meant it," I simply said.

Virgil's eyes widened, remembering yesterday.

"I love you, Virgil Sanders," I repeated, pulling away.  "I love you," I repeated, walking back to breakfast, leaving a stunned Virgil in the hallway.

__________

And that was the beginning of the end.

_________

I bent forward, and Virgil's breath hitched and his eyes almost fluttered shut, but remained half shut, waiting for me to move forward and make the connection.

"Why," I whispered. "Why won't you kiss me?" I whispered after a what felt like a thousand heartbeats.

Virgil pulled back, looking ashamed.

"I feel like I'm throwing myself on you Virgil! Do you even want this - our relationship? 'Cause I'm getting the feeling that our relationship is very one-sided," I said.  

This isn't the first time we'd had this... discussion.  This had been something that had been bothering me for weeks now. 

Sure, Virgil would kiss me back, but he would never be the first to show any kind of affection towards me.  

I couldn't keep doing this.

"I kiss you," Virgil mumbled, argued weakly, cheeks pink.

He knew that wasn't what I meant.

"No you don't, Virgil," I argued, crossing my arms stubbornly over my chest.  "You kiss me back, but you don't kiss me.  You never make the first move. It - It's making me feel like you don't want this."

"You know me well enough know to know that I won't make the first move - that's just how I am Prince," Virgil said, getting to his feet and making his way towards his room.

I couldn't let him get that far.  I had to stop him or we'd never solve this.

I stormed after him sneaking into his room before he had the chance to shut the door.  "I just want you to tell me why you are always holding back," I continued.  "A big reason behind being in a relationship is confiding your significant other."

"I have my reasons for keeping my secrets, behind everything that I do. I thought you understood that," Virgil snapped back, going to the kitchen in his room, not facing me.

"I thought you'd be over this by now," I admitted, starting to get frustrated. "I've been trying to give you time, fighting to earn your trust and no matter what I do it never seems to me enough!"

"I'm sorry that you feel like you need validation," Virgil answered darkly.  "But this is how I am, Prince!  And I'm not going to change.""

"But why? Why won't you tell me what made you like this?" I asked.

Virgil's jaw set and I knew that I wasn't getting an answer any time soon.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Roman."

And I lost it.

"I just don't understand why you won't TALK to me!" I yelled, clearly frustrated.  "That's not how relationships work, Virgil!  We lean on each OTHER!"

_____________________
4155 words.
Longest. Chapter. Yet.  Like. x2. wOaH.
Sorry this is a little late, I was not expecting this to be this long, not by a long shot.  But I hope you liked it :)

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I'll be posting Twenty-Five 1/2 (not anything new, it will pretty much be a flashes of everything that's happened in the Present Day so far) when I get a chance - hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday before Chapter Twenty Six on Wednesday.

Anyone else taking finals - good luck!

- Max :)