It will get better soon, right?

What was I thinking back then? Everything is only getting worse.

My attitude towards everything has completely changed. I'm spiteful, cruel and ignorant.

Once again, I'm out drunk not knowing what I'm doing and somehow searching for something to hold onto.

It's been 4 years since Frisk was aloud to stay with us. It's been hard for him, the chosen one or something, seeing as no human has been spared before.

I flick my cigarette somewhere into the darkness and take another sip of my drink. My vision was blurry but I kept walking.

Drool drips down my chin as my senses start to become numb.

As I walk through the trees, my sense of direction is completely gone. It was just me and the cold night air.

"Kill two birds with one stone."

I whip my head in the direction of the voice.

It couldn't be.

My left eye glowed yellow so that I could somehow focus my vision. It was too dark to see, but there was something blue burning next to them.

The person turned around to see what the yellow light was but I was able to get away just in time.

I got a glimpse of their face, I was so certain it was Y/N's.

My mind must be playing tricks on me again. I'm probably hallucinating...

Damn you alcohol.

It can't be her, I gave up searching for her ages ago, it was no use trying to get back what she had taken away from me.

The person turns back around and heads toward to gate thingy.

If it's just me hallucinating, it can't be real, right? I'll try talking to it.

"D o n ' t m o v e." I manage to say in a creepy voice, hoping to get a reaction out of it.

The person freezes, giving me a chance to pick up a rock by my feet.

What if I..?

I chuck the rock, hitting he back of this persons head, resulting them to fall down onto the hard concrete.

I teleport myself beside them to see that in fact, it actually is Y/N.

Her hair covering some of her soft skin and the blue flame disappears.

I can feel the heart shape in my eye form as I look at her for the first time in years.

Her beautiful eyes fall shut and it's not long before I can see her red blood pooling out before me.

I instantly panic, realising what I've done, and pick her up bridal style, then quickly teleport us into Papys room.

I know I'll regret teleporting later, I need at least a few minutes from the last teleport so that I don't get dizzy and 'malfunction'.

At least, that's what dad told me.

My head pounds, and I'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol, Y/N or teleporting. I rush over to Papy and wake him up.

"Papy ring Alphys now, it's an emergency." I tell him as he rubs his eyes sleepily.

"Okay..." He mumbles as he reaches out for his phone not even asking why.

He only realises that I have a human cradled in my arms when he finished his call with Alphys saying that there was an emergency.

"Is that a human, brother?" He asks softy.

"Yeah, I threw a rock at her by accident. Where do I put her? I didn't mean to-"

"You hit the human with a rock? That's no way to greet a new friend." Papy gives me a disapproving look before shaking his head and sighing.

"It was an accident, I'm sorry. Now where do I put the human?" I ask hurriedly.

"Lay her down on the sofa until Alphys comes. I'll go get some blankets from your room." Papy says as he gets up from his bed and walks out.

I sigh and take Y/N down stairs and lay her down on the green sofa. I smile, as I notice that she's wearing pyjamas.

It makes me wonder why she came out of the ruins this time. Maybe for a different reason in thtimeline?

My right hand is covered in her blood, and my smile soon disappears as I can feel myself becoming sick.

uoy did siht ot reh

I didn't mean to, I swear!

ehs ylbaborp setah uoy won

Please stop...

re'uoy a ssem taht t'nac eb dexif

N-no I'm not...

citehtap plew

I do my best to keep myself together when I hear the front door being knocked.

Papy rushes down with fluffy blankets as I go to open the door and I'm met with the face of a worried Alphys.

"Sans, is e-everything okay? Papyrus didn't s-say much over the phone." She says, concern dripping with every word.

"I need your help." I say to her as I open the door wider so that she can come in.

I'm surprised she even came at this time, it's 12am. Shouldn't she be watching anime?

Papy takes Alphys to Y/N and explains what happened as I lock the front door.

Alphys already starts patching her up and I start to feel incredibly guilty.

"I-I'm going to bed..." I mutter as I go up the stairs, my head hung low in shame.

I ignore Papys calls as I shut my bedroom door and sink into my soft mattress.

diputs

Dad, please stop

My dads words only help my insecurities becomes larger and my happiness become smaller.

What is happiness?

I feel like I've forgotten actually.

My muffled cries go on for what seems like hours and all I want to do I get out of this hell like pit hole.

What is this feeling? The feeling of sadness and your thoughts eating you alive, so much that you can't even breath.

The feeling of everyday being a struggle, so much I need to drug myself so much to make me forget reality because doing that makes me feel as if I'm running away.

Running away from my problems, my life, this world.

But if I keep running, I'll only get tired.

And guess what? I'm god damn tired. I just want it all to go away, everything.

I stare up at my blank ceiling, and it stares back.

There's a knock on my door, but I don't answer.

The door opens anyway and I can hear the person shuffle in.

"SANS, ITS YOUR TURN TO SEE IF THE HUMAN IS OKAY."

It's Papy. It sounds like he's been up for hours.

"You do it." I say, not really wanting to look at her, what I did to her.

"NO! YOUR THE ONE WHO HIT HER!"

"If I go, I might hit her again." I say hoping that Papy will leave me alone.

Papy sighs, then I can hear him walking down the stairs.

I can't really hear what Papy is saying to Y/N but after a while I decide its best if I go see what's going on.

Hesitant, I get up from my bed and walk down the corridor. Frisk hasn't seem to have heard all the racket seeing as he isn't out of his room.

I'm happy that he hasn't found out just yet, that leads to questions about Y/N which I don't think I wanna answer.

I reach the top of the stairs to see Papy on his knees next to the sofa, talking to Y/N who has the fluffy blankets wrapped around her feet.

"Frisk is already 18! It was his birthday not so long ago. I think you guys could be a great couple." Papy says softly to Y/N.

My non-existing blood boils as I watch Y/N blush. I manage to build up the courage to say something.

"Papyrus, go to bed. The human needs sleep." I say coldly, hoping that Papy gets the idea that I'm not really in the mood.

Y/N just looks at me and I can feel myself blush. Good thing it's dark so she can't see.

ehs t'nseod neve ekil uoy

"That's my brother Sans, you know the one who hit you." Papy says causally, and I mentally face palm myself.

Y/N immediately backs away into the comfort of the sofa. She has a scared expression on her face.

I turn my head away in shame, the sick feeling appearing again.

"Papyrus, go to bed, please." I say softly, wishing that I never got out of bed.

Papyrus listens, as he walks up the the top of the stairs to join me.

"TOMMOROW, YOU CAN MEET FRISK!" Papyrus says as he claps his hands.

"Don't you mean today." I say, trying to lighten my mood.

A small smile appears on my face as I watch Y/N giggle as she puts a bowl down on the floor.

Papy must of given her something to eat.

For some reason, Y/N freezes as if she has realised something.

"I-I need to get home! Toriel will be mad if I don't. I'm not even aloud to be here. What if she finds out! Oh man, what if Flowey finds out. He'll be super pissed. I need to get home now." She says really fast.

Flowey? But he's the one who-

"Argh!" Y/N cries out in pain as her hand go to her head.

I ignore it, hoping that if I do, the sick feeling won't come back.

But why isn't she allowed out the ruins? How old even is she? I'll ask Papy later.

"SO YOU WONT STAY FOR SPAGHETTI?" Papyrus says sadly.

Y/N struggles as she pulls herself up from the green sofa.

"No Papyrus, I'm sorry but I really need to get back." She says with a sad face.

Maybe she's trapped in there or something. Should I help her?

on, t'nod uoy erad

Why not?

kool ta tahw ehs sah enod ot uoy, ehs sevresed a tnemhsinup

You're right.

"Stop." I say as I walk down the stairs. "Papy, go to bed. I'll deal with this."

"OKAY SANS." Papyrus says as he goes up the rest of the stairs and walks into his room. His door shuts, meaning that we are alone.

"You're gonna freeze if you go out like that." I gestures towards her cute pyjamas as I walk down the rest of the stairs.

She turns red in embarrassment.

"Hah, y-yeah." She stutters.

God, that's hot.

It's only then when I hand her my leather jacket that I realise that I still have her blood on my hand.

It's all dried and crusty, and I makes me wonder how long it will take me to get the stain out.

I roll down the sleeves on my grey turtle neck, hoping that it will help cover it up.

"Come on." I say as I look over to Y/N, my jacket now on her, as I open the front door.

I stuff my hands in my jean pockets and fiddle around with the cigarette packet.

The streets are grey and cold in my eyes and I can feel Y/N staring at me.

"It's rude to stare." I say, faintly looking in her direction.

She looks down and blushes.

"I-I didn't mean too."  She says stuttering once again.

I make it out like don't care by brushing it off, but really my insides are going all butterflies and bonkers.

Why do I feel this way? After all the pain she's put me through.

I've suffered way too much to even care about her, right?

I look towards Y/N who opens her mouth the say something, but then closes it.

"What's wrong kitten? Have something to say?"

"I erm, was going to ask if you were okay... you spaced out for a second." She says quietly.

My facial expression softens when she says this.

EHS T'NSEOD ERAC NOS, TEG REVO TI

I turn disappointed, knowing that my father is probably right and soon I turn angry.

"Don't act like that, you don't even care." I spit harshly.

We start to approach the gate thingy and I'm honestly really confused as to how I feel at this.

teg dir fo reh rof doog, won si rouy ecnahc

"Come back if you dare." I say coldly as I tower over her small body.

"O-okay." She whispers before running off into the darkness.

That was it.

I fucking blew my chance.

For years I searched for her, cried over her, hurt myself for her sake.

Why?

I don't even know.

A/N: Anyway, there's a longgg ass chapter for you. Over 2000 words, that's the longest in the book!

I really enjoyed writing this part though, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

-sansisnotonfire 🎨🔥