Lille's POV -

Me and Jay had been sat here for around half hour now, no more words were exchanged between the two of us after he disappeared to the beach and returned with what belonged to me.

He didn't even sit near me, he just looked at me every once in a while to see what I was doing; he didn't bother talking to me though. He just handed me my bag and then moved away from me, obviously not wanting to be anywhere near me.

I just wanted Tom to get here so that I could get home. I wanted my bed more than anything now and I wanted to sleep before I told Max everything that had happened today; he wanted me to tell him if I got into trouble and that's what I was going to do.

Even though he was going to cause trouble and he was going to make someone pay for allowing it to happen to me in the first place. He was, more than likely, going to go straight round to Hollie's and have it out with her there and then.

Or, failing that, he was just going to drive back down here and have it out with them all now. 

"Do you know how much longer Tom is going to be?" I asked as I pulled the grass out of the ground and threw it behind me.

"He should be here by now. He's probably just caught in traffic or something." Jay muttered without even looking at me, he was too busy admiring the view up the road, presumably he was keeping an eye for Tom and willing him to hurry up as well.

"Look, are you going to talk to me about what happened or are you just going to continue ignoring me?" I replied.

"You should be used to me acting like this, it's no different to normal really, is it?" Jay answered with a shrug of his shoulders, like he didn't even care.

I mean, he had just told me the way that we used to act, and now he didn't even want to talk about it or listen to what I had to say. He was just going to continue with the way that we were before, not even giving me the chance to explain everything or apologise to him for being this way.

"So, you're just going to let things carry on this way rather than attempt to sort things out with me?"

"Just remember, you're the one that started this and you can't blame anyone else. You're the one that flipped and started acting strangely, not me. You're the one that used to throw yourself at me, not the other way round. You're the one that always said you trusted me and would tell me anything, now you hate me and won't even tell me if you've had a good day with being sarcastic or starting an argument. This was all you, no one else." Jay replied simply.

 "When I can't even remember any of this happening, it's not really my fault. I'm sorry that everything has gone this way and we aren't the way that we used to be, but if we don't talk about it, then we're never going to sort everything out between us. Is that really what you want?" I snapped with annoyance; sometimes there was just no getting through to him and there was no making him listen, especially when he was in a mood like this.

"Tom is here..." Jay replied.

"Are you going to be like this all the way home and then just go back to the way we were before?" I asked, not even caring that Tom was here and he had just got out of the car for the both of us.

"Let's just get home, then you can stay with Max and he can decide what he's going to do." Jay said, picking my bag up from the floor and placing it into the boot without any emotion or expression at all. 

He really was going to act like this the entire way home and he was just going to act like a twat. Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered with him and why I tried to sort things out with him when he wasn't going to attempt to talk to me.

"Maybe you acting like this is the reason I decided that I hated you in the first place." I shouted.

"Whoa. What's happened between you two?" Tom asked as he closed the boot and got back into the car, me sitting behind Tom and Jay getting in the front with him; just giving me a look that could kill a person as he did so. 

"Lille acting like a twat, nothing new really." Jay muttered.

"Excuse me? I'm the one acting like a twat?" I snapped angrily.

"Yeah, you're the one acting like a twat, just like you always do. And to think, I actually thought you might have changed and we could go back to the way we were before. What a bloody joke..." he scoffed with a slight laugh.

"Will one of you please tell me what's going on here please?" Tom asked as he started the engine to the car, still looking between me and Jay with confusion on his face; like he had never seen us acting this way before and he had never heard us arguing with each other this much.

"I reminded Lille about the way that we used to be before everything between the two of us went wrong, then she had to know everything and couldn't just leave it alone. Does that explain everything to you?" Jay snapped.

"Hold on Jay, you don't need to talk to Tom like that, he was just asking. He wasn't the one that did something wrong, I was..." I said.

"Well done. You finally realised that you're the one that did something wrong. Let's give the genius a round of applause and congraulate her, we could even give her a medal and certificate to go with it." Jay said sarcastically, and I just couldn't be bothered with him when he was like this, I just decided that I was going to ignore him and not say a word to him for the entire trip back home.

If he was going to be immature, then that was his decision, and I couldn't do anything to stop him. 

The next time he complained though, I would just remind him of this and make sure he knows I did try to sort things out with him and I did attempt to talk to him; he was the one that refused to do that and decided he was going to be immature about this whole situation.

I just wasn't even going to bother being nice to him, and I wasn't going to ever rely on him to be there for me again. This was a one time thing, and that was just because my "friends" were all too busy doing other things to come looking for me or to help me.

"I thought we told you never to tell her about that, you were told to leave that in the past and wait for her to remember." I heard Tom whisper harshly to Jay.

"Not my fault that she asked and wanted to know. I wasn't going to ignore her and I wasn't going to put up with the lying. Not my problem." Jay snapped as he put his seatbelt on and turned his attention to the front window, not that there was really anything worth looking at out there.

"You could have told her something else, everyone told you not to tell her. Max is going to be furious when he finds out, you know that right?" Tom replied.

"And he's going to be even more furious if he ever finds out that you knew I was sleeping with his sister and you didn't tell him. Even though he made it clear none of us were to touch her and, if we did, then it would be the last thing we did." Jay said with a smug grin.

"She was old enough to make her own decisions, I can't help it if she wanted to sleep with you and I can't change the fact that I caught you either. I decided not to tell Max because I didn't want to see you killed." Tom shouted back at him, it's like they both seemed to forget that I was sat in the back of the car and I could hear everything that was being said about me; I was finding out things I didn't even know happened.

Yet, I can't figure out why I don't remember any of these things happening.

Surely you would remember sleeping with someone, and you would remember being best friends with them. You would also remember that you trusted them with more than your life. But now, it's like there is a wall between the two of us, we just shout and argue with each other all the time and nothing seems to change.

I just wish I could remember all of this happening, then I might be able to understand why this was all happening and why none of them had told me about this before.

"Then why the hell didn't you just tell him? We wouldn't be here now, would we?" Jay replied bitterly, almost like he wanted the truth to come out and wanted Max to know what happened.

"Because Lille asked me not to. For some strange reason, you made her happy and she didn't want to be with anyone else other than you. She trusted you and wanted to be with you, was that really so hard for you to accept?" Tom shouted, not worrying about the fact people were all around and were now looking at what was happening between both Jay and Tom; I was just sat there awkwardly, wanting to know what happened and why I still remember none of this happening.

"Guys?" I said quieter than I first meant to, so it didn't really have the desired effect that I wanted it to have.

"-"

"Guys?" I repeated, this time it was loud enough for them to be able to stop arguing with each other and look at me; long enough to allow me to ask them what was going on and why they hadn't told me any of this before.

"Sorry Lille." Tom muttered.

"What are you two going on about? Why don't I remember any of this happening?" I said, holding back the tears.

"It's probably for the best if you ask Max rather than asking Max. He was the one that wanted to keep this from you for as long as possible..." Tom replied nervously.

"No, just tell me now, why the hell have I forgotten about all of this?" I asked again, looking between the faces of Tom and Jay; both of whom were hesitant to answer me and wanted to avoid the topic until I had asked Max about what happened to me.

"Look, Lille, it isn't our place to tell you what happened. If we told you, then Max would actually kill the pair of us, you need to ask him what happened." Tom sighed as he finally began the drive home, while Jay was still looking at me with worry and fear in his eyes.

I didn't understand him and I failed to understand his mood swings. One minute he would be telling me just how much he hated me and wanted nothing to do with me, then he would be feeling sorry for me and wanting to help me out.

This is why, in the last two years, I hadn't bothered with him and had just been a total bitch towards him because it's what seemed like the easiest thing to do was. 

But, now, everything just seems to be getting more and more complicated with each conversation I have with the boys.

"Why won't you just tell me? I've basically just been told that me and Jay were sleeping together and we were best friends, but now we just argue with each other and never stop the constant shouting, but neither of you will tell me why that really happened." I said as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

"It's going to be better if it comes from your brother rather than from one of us. He'll know how to put it better and he understands how things make you feel. Me and Tom, on the other hand, are just two idiots that have no concept of feelings and would just put it in totally the wrong way." Jay chuckled with a smile on his face, it actually made me smile and made me feel like this wasn't as bad as it was.

"I don't understand you Jay McGuiness. One minute you're arguing with me and shouting about me, then you're all nice to me and attempting to cheer me up." I laughed slightly as I looked up to be greeted with his blue eyes, they were the only thing that were noticable through the darkness and they were just there; it was hard to miss them when he was looking right at you. 

"I guess that's what best friends are like. Even if they don't remember that we're best friends." Jay smiled before he turned back around and faced the front again.

"You know, before everything happened, you and Jay really were best friends, you were basically inseperable; you even made Max jealous with the amount of time you two spent with each other. The amount of time you two spent sitting around, just talking, it was something that proper best friends do with each other and you hardly ever argued either. I miss the days like that." Tom said, his focus still on the road.

"Yeah. It sounds like something I wish I still had." I sighed, sinking into the seat and letting the tears silently fall.

They make it sound like everything I wish I still had, even if there was just a little bit that I remembered, that's all I wanted really.

I just need to know what happened and why I don't remember anything, then it would explain all of this and we might be able to move forward with things.

Who knows, we might even go back to the way we were before.

I'm allowed to dream, right?