"OI!" The voice screamed, finally catching my attention.

I turned around to see... no one? I swear to Jesus Christ if he's invisible—

"Down here, you stupid human!" I obediently looked down.

Oh heavens above, it's even worse. A weird fucking cat thing with blue fire in its ears was glaring at me. Aaaaand I should be waking up from my temporary coma any moment now.

I tried closing my eyes for a few seconds and then opening them again. Nope. Still unconscious.

"Why aren'tchya asleep?!" The cat(?) demanded in a ridiculously normal human voice. I decided right then and there that this was officially the most realistic lucid dream I've ever had.

"Sh- Should I be?" I muttered, rubbing my eyes. Then a surreal thought slammed into me, as if this whole scenario wasn't bizarre enough.

My body was completely undamaged. No broken bones from what I could tell. Not even a bruise. Apart from the fact I felt a bit nauseous, I was physically fine. It's as if Truck-kun never murdered me, that cold-hearted bastard.

So this was a dream. Even though it felt real as fuck.

"HEY!" The cat shrieked, making me flinch. "Why the hell do ya keep ignoring me, human?!"

"I- I'm, um, sorry?" I responded quietly, feeling stupid for replying to a talking cat of all creatures. And it had a fucking trident-like tail as well. "I'm just... distracted."

"Tch, whatever, human." The cat growled, clearly irritated at me. "Just gimme your uniform, and be quick about it!"

"Wh- What?"

"Your uniform that you're wearing! God, you're slow."

So that's what my imagination comes up with after years of self deprecation. I thought wryly. And that's when I had a second surreal thought.

I wasn't wearing my regular school uniform. Instead, there was a very oversized black robe that looked like it was ripped straight out of a fantasty game.

I stared down at my outfit. The only thing I could think was—

What pervert changed my clothes while I was knocked out?