A/N: I'm not too happy with how I wrote Spamton in this, tbh. But I'm really only here to infodump about Crypt and get her personality down.
Speaking of infodumping, I'm gonna be commenting on some of these paragraphs and explaining myself a bit more. So yeah, enjoy. :)

Crypt turned away from her work, facing towards the door. Someone she didn't recognize was approaching, carelessly tripping all of her alarms as they went. There was something off about them—they didn't quite move right, and she could already tell that they were riddled with malware.

Actually, maybe her mysterious visitor was malware. She had done work for a few malwares in the past, and at the very least, that ruled out the possibility that they were a cop.

She stood up as the door opened, greeting them with a quiet, "Evening. What can I do for you?"

"I NEED A [Top 10 Haloween Costumes]," they- he chattered.

Crypt bristled the moment she heard his voice. She recognized him. This was Spamton, that big shot from the city who got cozy with Queen at his peak, then got quietly thrown out after his business failed. There was no way he had the money to pay her. And worse, he had wires—or maybe strings, like a puppet's—trailing off of him and into the distance, sending data back to whatever was at the other end.

In other words, the little bastard was trying to spy on her. She stalked towards him, sneering under her mask. She took a moment to locate the collar of his shirt, then lifted him up by it. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"WOAH THERE, [Pardner], HANDS OFF THE GOODS! I [don't know any more] WHAT YOU MEAN. I'M JUST HERE FOR THE [QualityProducts]." Spamton tried to squirm away from her claws, and she felt a prickle of nervousness beneath his bravado.

Good. She steadied her grip, narrowing her eyes at him. "I think you're here for something else," she snapped. "I can see those fancy strings—who's paying you? Or are you just looking for dirt on me?"

He stopped moving at the mention of strings. Not just physically—the whirling miasma of glitches and ads in his code stopped, leaving him uncannily still and quiet. "Mike... Can you hear me?" he asked in a desolate, hopeless tone. Then he seemed to snap back to normal, struggling with more ferocity than before. "THAT'S [Privacy] INFORMATION! AND [It's Not What It Looks Like] ANYWAY."

Crypt's scowl deepened. "Then what is it?"

"[Hyperlink Blocked]"

Heaving an irritated sigh, she took a closer look at the strings. Tapping into them, she found they weren't spying on her. In fact, they weren't collecting data at all. It seemed like they were meant for receiving data, although there was none to be found at the moment.

They also seemed more like puppet strings the longer she examined them. She suppressed a shudder, dropping Spamton unceremoniously.

He dusted himself off and echoed the glare that she had given him earlier. "THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT A [Valued Customer]."

Crypt half-shrugged, brushing past him to close the door. "Not a customer, no, but I thought you were a spy," she replied. After a moment, she added, "Sorry about that."

Spamton grumbled under his breath, which she ignored. Instead, she returned to her desk, smoothing her fur and settling into business mode. "Please, take a seat." She gestured towards the couch that she had for just that purpose. "You said you needed a costume...?"

He seemed to recognize the shift, and the chaos of his code dimmed a bit. "NOT A COSTUME. A [Specil] DISGUISE." He tapped his hand against the rims of his glasses, jolting them ever-so-slightly. "I NEED TO LOOK LIKE SWATCH."

Crypt's 'eyebrows' arched. "That's one hell of a disguise. How long d'you need it for?"

He paused, thinking. "[1-Hour Warranty]," he concluded. "I JUST NEE- NEED T0 R3ACH [Heaven]" Clear desperation leaked through every part of his code.

It was all she could do not to wince. That desperation made itself known as bright lights and colors hammering their way into her head. Ads and popups bled from his little body. She was half-tempted to give him a Firewall Bracelet just to shut off the noise.

Crypt wasn't gonna comment on it, of course. So she bit her tongue and turned her attention to his request. An illusion of someone who could presumably go anywhere in the castle... She had to wonder what he wanted. "Do you have anything of theirs? A part of their outfit," she clarified. "A piece of clothing would be best. It has to be clean, though."

Spamton produced another pair of glasses with a flourish. "D0ES THIS [work]?"

She reached out for the glasses; after a moment, he handed them over. It only took a moment of inspection to see that yes, these really were Swatch's glasses. They were still tied to the art program that they'd come from, which was the only reason she was even considering it. "It'll be harder to make a disguise work with just this," she commented. "And it will be less convincing. Are you sure you want me to-"

"YES," he almost shouted. "IT HAS TO BE,"
He faltered. "WHEN CAN YOU [Maker] IT?"

Crypt considered that. She had that old fancy suit that she'd never worn... It had been way too small on her, but maybe it would make a convincing Swatch.

She'd still need to acquire shoes and a mask. But that wouldn't be too difficult. "I can have it done in four days," she decided. "You'll need to come by before you intend to use it, to get used to moving in a disguise. But-" She frowned. "We need to discuss payment first."

Spamton had been getting more and more hopeful, but at that, he deflated a bit. "CRYPT. [Friend Request Accepted]. LISTEN. I CAN [pey] YOU," he started quickly. "IN [Exposure???]."

She gave him a blank stare.

"IMAGINE IT!" He hopped to his feet and gestured at the room around them. "10 OF PEOPLE, [All the glamour and showboats] LINING UP, JUST TO GET A TASTE OF YOUR [QualityProducts]!!"

Her digital eyes narrowed, and the stare intensified.

"OR, OR, OR-" He raised a finger, body shaking with energy, malware, or both. "AIM HIGHER! [Shoot For The Stars]. GET IN QUEEN'S [Good Gracious]!
SHE''LL GIVE YOU [the worl], MAKE YOU A [[Big Shot]], AND THEN [Oh God! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!] YOU!!,!!! HAEAHAHEHAHEHAE"

His laughter sounded more manic and angry than anything. She raised an eyebrow. Spurred onward by that tiny reaction, Spamton quickly prompted, "WILL YOU TAKE THE [Deal]?"

"Hell no," she replied almost instantly.

"WHAT?? DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A"

"Hell no," she repeated, crossing her arms.

"BUT"

"No."

"WRONG CHOI-"

Crypt leaned forward and grabbed his collar again. She didn't lift him up this time, but the threat was there.

"WELL
I
WELL
UH
$!@$"

Based on his code, he almost seemed resigned. She cautiously released him, expecting a fight. To her great surprise, though, Spamton backed down. He leaned back, then hopped off the couch. "[I'll be back]," the salesman called, somewhat ominously. Then he just... left.

Crypt, once again, had to close the door behind him. She took a peek at the glasses she was still holding. Did Spamton think she was going to make him a disguise...? She supposed she would find out in four days, if he decided to come by.

What an odd little man.