"THE ROADS HAVE BEEN ALTERED SO MUCH" I THOUGHT . TWO YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE I LAST CAME HOME . I BOOKED A CAB TO GO TO MY HOUSE . I WAS SO EXCITED TO MEET EMMA . SHE MUST HAVE HAD CHANGED SO MUCH , I THOUGHT .

"EXCUSE ME . IS THIS THE CORRECT WAY?" I ASKED TO THE TAXI  DRIVER .

"YES MADAM . YOU CAN CHECK IT IN THE GOOGLE MAP" HE REPLIED .

"OH OKAY ." I SAID .

"I THINK YOU ARE NEW HERE" HE ASKED .

"NO NO . ACTUALLY I WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR TWO YEARS FOR MY HIGHER STUDIES . SO I JUST GOT CONFUSED . MY SISTER LIVES HERE ". I SAID AND SMILED . HE JUST SMILED BACK . "WEIRDDD" I THOUGHT .

SO AFTER A BIT OF CONFUSION AND EXCITMENT I REACHED HOME . I PAID THE MONEY AND WAS ABOUT TO ENTER THE HOUSE WHEN TWO OFFICERS STOPPED ME .

"EXCUSE ME . YOU CAN'T GET IN HERE" ONE OF THEM SAID .

"BUT WHY CAN'T I GET INTO MY OWN HOUSE " I ASKED .

"ARE YOU MISS.SOPHIA LOCKWOOOD?" THE OTHER OFFICER ASKED .

"YES , BUT CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ? . WHERE IS MY SISTER ?" I ASKED .

"FOLLOW US" THEY SAID .
THEY OPENED THE DOOR TO THE HOUSE .

I ENTERED AND WAS STUNNED TO SEE THE WHOLE HOUSE SEALED WITH A YELLOW TAPE WHICH HAD "CRIME BRANCH" WRITTEN ON IT . THEY TOOK ME UPSTAIRS TO EMMA'S ROOM . THERE WERE BLOOD STAINS ON EMMA'S BED . NOW I WAS REALLY TENSED .

"WHAT THE HECK!! . NOW CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHERE IS EMMA ?" I YELLED .

A SENIOR POLICE OFFICER SPOKE  "SOPHIA LOCKWOOD , HERE YOU ARE . WE WERE LOOKING FOR YOU . I AM REALLY SORRY TO SAY THAT YOUR SISTER EMMA LOCKWOOD HAS COMMITTED SUICIDE BY JUMPING FROM THE TERRACE OF YOUR HOUSE . SHE IS NOT DEAD BUT.."

"BUT WHAT ?" I CRIED .

"BUT NOW SHE IS IN A COMA" HE COMPLETED .

"SHIT..SHIT..SHITT.NO NO NO . THIS IS NOT TRUE . "I CRIED . "SHE IS JUST SIXTEEN . NO THIS CAN'T HAPPEN . " I YELLED .

A LADY OFFICER BROUGHT ME SOME WATER BUT I THREW IT AWAY .

"WHERE IS SHE NOW ?" I ASKED
WITH MY THROAT ALL DRIED UP .

"LENOX HILL HOSPITAL" THE OFFICER REPLIED . "DON'T WORRY MISS . WE WILL TAKE YOU THERE" HE SAID .

SO WE QUICKLY SAT IN THE CAR AND HEADED TOWARDS THE HOSPITAL . I WAS PRAYING THE WHOLE WAY FOR MY SWEETIE .

WE REACHED THE HOSPITAL AND QUICKLY WENT TO THE NURSE WE FIRST SAW.

"HOW CAN I HELP YOU" SHE ASKED .

"UMM .. WHERE IS EM.. MA..LO" I COULDN'T COMPLETE . MY FACE WAS COVERED WITH TEARS AND MY THROAT WAS ALL DRIED UP . I GASPED FOR AIR .

"EMMA LOCKWOOD ." THE OFFICER COMPLETED . "WHERE IS SHE ?" HE ASKED .

"OH THAT GIRL WHO IS IN THE ICU?. SHE IS IN THE SECOND FLOOR " THE NURSE REPLIED .

"I..ICU?" I ASKED .

"YES , SHE IS NOT IN A GOOD CONDITION . WE DON'T HAVE MUCH HOPE FOR HER ." SHE SAID .

I DID NOT WASTE TIME FURTHER AND CLIMBED THE STAIRS . I REACHED IN FRONT OF THE ICU . I SAW HER IN THE ROOM THROUGH THE SMALL CIRCULAR WINDOW . SHE WAS COVERED IN BRUISES AND THERE WERE MANY WIRES ATTACHED TO HER BODY . I COUDN'T CONTROL ANYMORE AND DIDN'T REALIZE WHEN I HUGGED THE OFFICER AND CRIED . HE GAVE ME A MINUTE AND THEN HELD MY CHIN UP .

"HEY HEY . EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY" HE SAID IN A SOFT TONE . SOMEHOW I STOPPED CRYING AND WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR .

"YOU MUST BE HER SISTER ?" THE DOCTOR SAID . "I AM LEXI . SEE I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH BUT NOW YOU NEED TO BE STRONG . SHE HAS GOT A TRAUMATIC HEAD INJURY AND THAT IS WHY SHE IS NOW IN A COMA . WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST AND NOW TELL ME WHERE IS YOUR PARENTS ?" .

"THEY DIED LAST YEAR" I REPLIED ALL SHATTERED .

"OH I AM,  SORRY . " SHE SAID .

"OKAY THEN YOU HAVE TO SIGN THIS" SHE SAID GIVING ME A DOCUMENT .

"WHAT IS THIS ? I ASKED .

"ITS A LETTER IN WHICH ITS CLEARLY MENTIONED THAT DURING HER TREATMENT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HER , THAT IS NOT THE HOSPITAL'S RESPONSIBILITY " SHE SAID .

"YOU MEAN SHE WILL NOT SURVIVE ?" I ASKED .

SHE DIDN'T REPLY . HER SILENCE WAS THE ANSWER . I SIGNED THE LETTER AND WENT INSIDE THE ICU . EMMA WAS LYING THERE . HALF DEAD . "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT " I CRIED HOLDING HER HANDING .
I HEARD SOMEONE KNOCK . I TURNED TO SEE THE OFFICER STANDING ON THE DOOR  .

"I AM SORRY TO INTERUPT BUT WHILE WE WERE SEACHING EMMA'S ROOM WE GOT THIS " HE SAID GIVING ME A PINK DIARY .

"IT IS HER JOURNAL " I SAID IMMEDIATELY .

"I THINK YOU SHOULD READ IT . MAYBE THEN WE CAN FIND WHY SHE TOOK THIS STEP " HE SAID . "I AM GIVING YOU MY NUMBER . CALL ME IF YOU FIND ANYTHING . SAVE MY NAME AS WILLIAM ." HE SAID AND LEFT THE ROOM , LEAVING ME AND EMMA ALONE .

I LOOKED AT HER WITH MY EYES WELLED UP WITH TEARS . I SAT DOWN NEAR HER AND STROKED HER HAIR . "WHY SWEETIE,WHY?" I WHISPERED AND CRIED . AFTER SOME TIME , WHEN I COULD CONTROL MY EMOTIONS , I OPENED HER JOURNAL TO READ .
I TURNED THE PAGES AND FOUND THAT SOME PAGES WERE TORN . THERE WERE HARDLY ONLY 20 PAGES . I STARTED READING THE FIRST PAGE , STILL SITTING BESIDE HER .

"28TH JUNE .
DEAR DIARY ,
I THINK I AM GOING CRAZY . I FEEL SO LONELY . I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK . MY PARENTS DIED LAST YEAR , MY SISTER , SOPHIA , IS NOT HERE . I HAVE NO FRIENDS . I DON'T HAVE A HABIT OF MAINTAINING A JOURNAL BUT I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE . I DON'T HAVE ANY ONE ELSE WITH WHOM I CAN SHARE MY FEELINGS . MY BOYFRIEND JUST USED ME AND THREW ME AWAY LIKE I WAS A TOY AND MY FRIENDS , THEY ALL ARE BACKSTABBERS . THEY ALL JUST USED ME FOR MY MONEY . AND SOPHIA , SHE IS JUST AWESOME . SHE UNDERSTANDS ME BUT NOW-A-DAYS SHE IS NOT GIVING ME TIME . SHE IS NOT CALLING ME REGULARLY . I KNOW SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE BUSY . I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT . EVERYONE TEASES ME AT SCHOOL . I SMILE DURING THE DAY AND CRY DURING THE NIGHT . I HEAD BURSTS . MY CHEEKS PAIN BY GIVING FAKE SMILES . SO THAT MEANS THAT AM I DEPRESSED ? OH GOD !! I WANNA DIE!!.."

I WAS SPEECHLESS . MY LITTLE SISTER WAS GOING THROUGH ALOT OF PROBLEMS . TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY EYES AS I TURNED THE NEXT PAGE TO READ .

"30TH JUNE .
DEAR DIARY ,
TODAY I WAS WATCHING A VIDEO ABOUT DEPRESSION . AND YOU KNOW WHAT ? ALL MY SYMPTOMS MATCHED WITH THE VIDEO . TODAY ONE OF MY SENIOR TRIED TO BULLY ME . HIS NAME IS MATT DONOVAN . HE IS OUR PRINCIPAL SIR'S SON . AND I EVEN GOT MY TEST RESULTS IN WHICH I GOT A *F* . I TOLD THIS TO SOPHIA BUT INSTEAD OF UNDERSTANDING ME SHE SHOUTED AT ME AND CALLED ME A "LOSSER" . I AM SO SAD . I KNOW SHE CARES FOR ME AS SHE STAYS AWAY FROM HOME BUT STILL... TODAY I FELT LIKE DYING . I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING . I AM SAD , ANGRY , CONFUSED . I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN MY EMOTIONS . I CAN'T BEAR THIS ANYMORE . HOW LONG SHOULD I BEAR IT ? I WANT MY SISTER BY MY SIDE BUT SHE IS BUSY . I AM ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG HOUSE . I FEEL SCARED AND ALONE . OH GOD!! WHY IS MY LIFE ALL MESSED UP ?"

I REMEMBERED CALLING HER A LOOSER . THAT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SO BUSY THAT TIME AND I WAS TENSED . I NOW REGRET MY DECISSION . I LOOKED AT HER PALE , INNOCENT FACE . "I AM SORRY SWEETIE" I CRIED .

"CAN I COME IN?" ASKED WILLIAM . I DID NOT NOTICE HIM STANDING BEHIND ME .

"YEAH " I SAID WIPING MY TEARS .
"YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE TIME ?" HE ASKED . I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK . IT WAS 2AM.

"I THINK YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SLEEP ." HE SAID .

"NO . I WON'T GO ALONE . I WOULD GO WITH EMMA ." I SAID IN A STERNED VOICE . "BY THE WAY ITS 2 AM . WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" . I ASKED .

"CAME TO CHECK ON YOU AND EMMA . " HE SAID PICKING AN APPLE FROM THE FRUIT BASKET .
"OH . I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOU . TELL ME " I SAID TRYING TO SHIFT MY MIND FOR SOME TIME .
"OH . I AM JUST 21 YEAR OLD OFFICER , WHO HAS NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE " HE SAID WITH A SMILE.

I CHUCKLED .

"I AM GLAD I MADE YOU SMILE WITH MY GOOD HUMOUR " HE SAID WITH A WINK .

"I WILL TALK WITH YOU PROPERLY ONCE I SOLVE EMMA'S PROBLEM " I SAID . I KNEW WHAT HE WAS Up To . BUT NOW MY FIRST PRIRORITY WAS EMMA .

"I WOULD LOVE TO . BY THE WAY A SMALL TIP FOR YOU . EMMA IS IN A COMA AND SHE CAN'T TALK NOR MOVE NOR FEEL ANYTHNG . BUT I HEARD LEXI SAY THAT SHE CAN HEAR . SHE LOVES YOU THE MOST . NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO . I WILL COME AGAIN TOMORROW " HE SAID AND LEFT .

I UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE MEANT . I AGAIN OPENED THE JOURNAL AND STARTED READING IT . SHE CONTINUED TO WRITE ABOUT HER LIFE BUT ONE PAGE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION . 

"6TH JULY.
DEAR DIARY ,
NOW ITS ENOUGH . ENOUGH IS ENOUGH . I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING . JUST TIRED . TODAY I TRIED TO TAKE 10 PILLS BUT I DIDN'T DIE . I THINK I SHOULD TAKE 30 . BUT HONESTLY I DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO COMMIT SUICIDE . BUT I WILL . BECAUSE I AM SO UNLUCKY AND MY LIFE IS A MESS . I AM GOING THROUGH ALOT . NOBODY KNOWS THAT . NOT EVEN YOU , DIARY . "

THE REST OF THE PAGE WAS TORN .

ALL OF A SUDDEN , THE MACHINE WHICH WAS COUNTING EMMA'S HEARTBEAT STARTED BEEPPING . EMMA WAS SHAKING . I IMMEDIATELY CALLED LEXI . SHE TOLD ME TO LEAVE THE ICU . I DID AS SHE ASKED . I SAW THE NURSES GIVING HER AN INJECTION .

"WHAT HAPPENED SOPHIA ?" I HEARD WILLIAM WHO WAS COMING TOWARDS ME .

I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING . INSTEAD I JUST SAT DOWN , ALL SILENT . HE SAT BESIDE ME . WE WERE SILENT . AFTER SOME TIME , LEXI CAME OUT . I LOOKED AT HER . SHE GAVE ME A WORRIED LOOK .

"WHAT HAPPENED ?" WILLIAM ASKED LEXI .

"YOU BOTH COME AND MEET ME IN MY CABIN " SHE SAID AND LEFT . WE FOLLOWED HER .

WE SAT .  SHE FOLDED HER HANDS .
"I AM COMING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT . THERE ARE ONLY 30 PERCENT CHANCES . AND EVEN IF SHE SURVIVES SHE WILL LOSE HER MEMORY " SHE SAID .

I WAS SILENT .

"I HAVE HEARD MANY CASES WHERE THE PATIENT RESPONDS TO THEIR LOVED ONES . TRY IT SOPHIA . THAT IS OUR ONLY HOPE LEFT ." SHE SAID .

"THIS IS ONLY POSSIBLE IN THE REEL LIFE AND NOT IN THE REAL LIFE " I SOFTLY SAID , TRYING TO STAY CALM .

"SOPHIA . TRY " WILLIAM SAID .
I WENT TO EMMA .

"EMMA . I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE LISTENING TO ME OR NOT BUT IF YOU ARE THEN COME BACK ..COME BACK PLEASE . REMEMBER I LOVE YOU AND I AM SORRY " I CRIED HOLDING HER HAND.

"HER FINGERS ARE MOVING " WILLLIAM SHOUTED .

"NURSE " LEXI SHOUTED .

SHE OPENED HER EYES . YES , SHE REALLY DID .

"EMMA " I SHOUTED .

SHE HELD HER HANDS TO TOUCH MY FACE BUT , HER HANDS DROPED . THERE WAS SILENCE IN THE ROOM . THERE WAS A STRAIGHT LINE IN THE MACHINE . LEXI CAME AND TOUCHED MY SHOULDER . THEY CLOSED HER EYES . EVERYTHING BECAME BLURY .

ONE YEAR HAS PASSED SINCE HER DEATH . I STILL HAVE HER JOURNAL AND I READ IT EVERYDAY . NOW , I AM A COUNCLER .  I HELP PEOPLE TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION . I NEVER WANT ANYONE TO COMMIT SUICIDE . ITS NOT THE ONLY OPTION . I HOPE THAT EMMA FOUND PEACE . I SMILED AS I IMAGINED HER SMILING FACE . "MY LITTLE SWEETIE" I WHISPERED  .  SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. AND ABOUT WILLIAM . WE BECAME GOOD FRIENDS AND THE REST IS MYSTERY .
~SAMIKSHA JACOB .
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