No. 11: Crying

Warning: whump ahead XD
We're in an AU where Anakin has survived ROTJ

Anakin woke up with a start, feeling with alarming certainty that someone had screamed. He pulled himself upright and looked around: the whole room was in the utmost calmness. Only a light breath of breeze was entering through the window, producing a barely audible sound.

Then an unexpected wave of terror shook the Force, and the former Sith gasped: it came from his son, he was the one who had cried out!

Anakin stood up in a hurry, not even bothering to put something on his feet: he didn't know what was troubling Luke, but his fear was uncontrolled and very intense.

Anakin reached the boy's bedroom and slammed the door open. After that scream there wasn't the most feeble sound, but the sensation of terror Luke was emanating was still there. Anakin sighed in relief when he found - or sensed - no threats: probably the matter was only a nightmare, even though the Skywalkers' bad dreams were always as painful as their reality.

Slowly and carefully, the man sat on the edge of the bed and removed part of the blanket which was covering his son up to his ears. He touched his forehead: he was in a cold sweat, in the utmost panic. He was also breathing very quickly.

"Luke, wake up" Anakin murmured softly. The boy did not open his eyes, but his hands snapped around his father's arm to squeeze it with all their strength. He started to mutter incoherent sentences, he was denying something that couldn't really be understood.

Anakin shook his head, being perfectly aware that one couldn't leave a Force induced nightmare so easily. Without being invasive or violent, he sent a gentle mental tendril in his son's mind, pulling him out of the dimension of dreams.

Luke jolted upright in a heartbeat, biting back a cry, without letting go of his father's arm. His eyes were widened in terror, scanning the room as if there was a monster in every corner. When he realised that Anakin was with him, he threw himself into his arms and hid his face in the man's chest.

"Hey..." Anakin whispered as he stroked his son's hair to calm him down. "It's over. It was only a dream".

Luke took his time to find again a normal breathing scheme, but he didn't move or speak.
Basing on the boy's shaking shoulders and the mist on his tunic, Anakin could tell that his son was crying. But he didn't comment, he didn't point it out: that wasn't his job.

Some interminable seconds passed before the two broke the embrace. No one had said a single word yet when Luke stood up abruptly and went to the window, turning his back to Anakin.

"I'm sorry I woke you up" he said.

"No problem" the father said. "Do you want to talk about it?".

"No. It was stupid" the boy said, brushing off the question.

"It wasn't stupid. I felt it through the Force" Anakin answered.

"I don't want to speak".

"Are you sure? Trust me: bottling everything up inside isn't healthy. Never.".

"I shouldn't worry about it anymore! I sound like a child, for the Force's sake!" Luke yelled, exasperated, planting his fists on the windowsill. He sounded, once more, like someone who wanted to cry.

Anakin calmly approached his son and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't say so" he suggested. "I'm sure it was important".

Lule let out a trembling sigh and wiped his tears with his sleeve.
"I dreamt again about Cloud City" he said weakly. "I hadn't been having those nightmares for one year. I thought... I thought I was finally free".

He turned around again, not wanting to show that he was crying. He felt terribly ashamed. He was so weak: he had made peace with that reality two years before, when Anakin had saved his life... nevertheless, he was still whining like a youngster.

Anakin felt his chest tighten at his son's words. Of all things, he wasn't expecting Cloud City... but he was well aware that it had been Luke's worst trauma. He felt a knot rise to his throat along with a strong sense of guilt.

"I understand" he said, his voice unstable. "I'm sorry you still have to fight it. It won't happen again".

Luke nodded his head vehemently and again looked for shelter in his father's arms, keeping his body against himself as if he didn't want to let him fly away. Deep inside he knew it: it wasn't fear what had generated his nightmares, nor some residual anger towards Vader... no, he was anguished by the idea that Anakin could join the Dark Side again... leaving him alone. His dreams were the projection of the conscience of an orphan who did not want to lose his dad.

And Anakin understood perfectly. Someone could think he was furious because of his son's little confidence in him, but it wasn't like this. He could feel every single emotion the trembling form in his arms was spreading in the Force; this was making him feel guilty, was sending to the stars his sense of protection, but it wasn't making him angry.

"I know how you are feeling" the former Sith murmured, caressing his son's hair. "Don't say it's stupid, and don't worry. I won't hurt you again and I won't leave you. Do you understand?".

Luke nodded his head once again and lightly pulled apart from his father's hug.

I don't want to doubt" he murmured in his tears. "But I can't... I can't help it".

"You can't help to doubt?" Anakin asked, puzzled. Certainly he wasn't expecting that kind of answer.

"I can't help to fear to lose you!" Luke exclaimed. "That is what scares me, not Cloud City. I love you too much".

Too moved by that sincere profession of love, Anakin squeezed the youth in a bear hug that could possibly crush bones. Even he was about to cry.

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