INCLUDES DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, BULLYING (DRUGS?)

A FEW SWEAR WORDS MAY BE HERE AND THERE, BUT NOT MANY 

Mickey's P.O.V

I looked over at the group of people I once called my friends. Everyone longed to be their friends. I guess my depression got in the way of me being with them. Honestly though, I didn't want to be popular. Most popular kids are jerks. But I still missed them. I sighed and walked away. I walked to my quiet space and pulled a box of cigarettes out of my pocket. I was about to light one when a familiar voice said from behind me, "Hold on!"

Mallory appeared next to me, snatching the box away from me. He also took my lighter. "What the Hell, Mickey?!" 

"Mallory..?" My voice was quiet and croaky from crying. "Why are you here...?"

"Dad forced me into some sort of work experience so he's bringing me to work for a week. Anyway enough about me. What happened? Are you not hanging out with the others anymore?"

I chuckled sadly. "They left me like the good friends they are."

"What?! Why?!"

"Because they got to know me."

I grabbed my lighter and lit the cigarette still in my hand. I popped it in my mouth. Mallory watched in shock. "I'm... I'll be back," he said before walking away.

Mallory's P.O.V

We were all really close. I guess after Laura left town everything fell apart. I found the rest of the Radar laughing and joking together, as if one of their old chaps weren't depressed and never existed. Billy and Tibby got really excited when they saw me. "Mallory! What's up, bro?" Tibby exclaimed.

"What's going on with Mickey?" I asked, frowning.

"Oh she's weird."

"You guys were dating like three months ago."

"I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. She's weird and mean and..."

"You're the ones bullying her!"

"She deserves it!"

"Why are you even sticking up for the girl, Mallory?" Em asked.

"Because! Have you seen the state she's in?!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's hilarious."

"You guys are literally impossible."

Em Pegg rolled her eyes. I shouted in frustration and walked away.

Mickey was still where I left her. She wasn't smoking this time, she was reading. Judging by the cover, the book looked pretty gruesome. "Hey Mickey..?" I spoke up.

"Mhm?" she replied, putting a book mark in her book and closing it.

"I-I... if you ever need a friend, I'm really lonely."

"Whatever. I'm fine on my own. I have been for years."

I sat down on the dirty ground next to her. I could see she was shaking violently. "The pills! They don't help, Mallory!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"The... the pills?"

"They all said they would help! The doctor, my therapist, my parents! And what have they done? Destroyed my life. I thought they would understand that I was taking anti-depressants. But the only friends I had tried to dob me into the police for taking drugs!"

"What? Where would they get that idea?"

"THEY HATED ME THE WHOLE TIME, MALLORY!!"

I pursed my lips together. "Then why was Tibby dating you?"

"Because he wanted to look cool by hooking up with me, using me and breaking up with me. Just put it down, Mallory. We aren't friends, end of story."

Emily's P.O.V

"Hey Mom?" I asked as Mom brought me in a glass of warm milk.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Why-" I coughed. "-why is Mickey so sad all the time?"

Mom's eyes widened. She soon sighed. "You'll learn in time, sweetie."

Mickey collapsed into her bed. "Mickey..?" I asked.

"What?" she spat.

"Why are you always so sad? Mom and Dad won't tell me."

"They're not gonna tell you." She chuckled. "Confess to Billy that you like him, and then I'll tell you."

"Okay then."

Billy burst out laughing. "You think I'd love you?!"

"I... I can't help my feelings! It's... i-it's fine, I never liked you anyways."

"You're almost worse than your sister."

I frowned. I threw a rock at his face. Em Pegg scowled. "You're too much like her. Get away from us!"

I walked away. 

Mickey found me crying. "You're too good for that b*tch," she whispered.

"I loved him though..." 

"He was good. Now he isn't. This is the start of what made me depressed."

"Depressed..."

"A feeling of sadness. Or no feeling at all. A disease, it is. It slowly breaks you down. Unless you beat it to it."

"You wanna die?!"

"I don't wanna let my family down. But... yeah. Don't tell Dad, he'll flip."

"Oh... so that's why you're sad all the time?"

"Yeah. I figured you should know, in case I..."

I started crying harder.

Mickey's P.O.V

Tibby caught me smoking. "Oh, so you wanna do more drugs now?"

I tried to block him out. "You gonna answer me?" he hissed.

"Go away," I mumbled.

"Why should I?"

"You're annoying."

"Oh, so I'm making you angry? Well, I might just stay here. While I'm here, I just wanna make sure that you know you're worthless."

"Tibby... don't make me do it."

"Do what? You gonna try hurt me?" 

I was getting angrier. "You mad?" he smirked.

"No, I'm fine."

"Well that's not good, you can't be fine. I'll be sure of it. How are those antidepressants going?"

I snapped. I threw the cigarette to the ground and squashed it. I punched Tibby in the chest, knocking him to the ground. "THERE! YOU BROKE ME!" I shouted, tears falling down my cheeks. "IS THAT ALL YOU WANTED?! DID YOU WANNA SEE ME CUT TOO?!"

"I wanna see you die." Tibby stood up.

My chest was heaving. "You even are you anymore?" I asked.

"Someone better than before."

"I miss the old days..."

"I don't care."

I gave him a hard whack in the face. In doing so, I had to reach up. My sleeve slipped down, revealing my deep cuts and huge bruises. Tibby managed to spot them, and as he rubbed his cheek, I could see the regret in his eyes. Before any of us could say anything, he ran away.

Once again, I found myself in the hospital. "I don't know how she manages to keep surviving such blood loss. She needs help. Her cuts are getting deeper," the nurse said.

"We have her on medication, and she always fights with the therapists. Sometimes it's like she doesn't want help. She just wants to..." Mom started saying. She broke down crying.

That convinced me no less.

"Miss Jones needs help!"

"You're stupid."

"We're doing all we can!"

"You're a mistake."

"I can't believe we actually liked you."

"Go die, Mickey!"

"She's losing so much blood!"

"Her pulse is slow!"

"Hope you burn in Hell, Jones!"

"Don't forget to take your pills!"

The words swirled around my mind daily. I felt horrible. I felt worse than I ever did before. I couldn't take it.

I knew I made Em sad telling her about depression and stuff. I didn't want to do that. Turns out I was bad to my own sister too. She was just hiding it. During the night, I laid the notes down on the kitchen table.

'Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. What I did. I love you, just know that. I decided I've had enough of this world, enough of the pain. Please don't be too sad when I'm gone, and make sure you allow time to chat with the son of Principal Jenkins. He is my only friend.

I also want you to know that I'm always with you. I only want to be happy. You want that too.

The pills are supposed to do that, right?

Make sure my story gets heard, to stop the pain of others like me. I give you full permission to read all my notebooks and journals. The stories I wrote, feelings I spilled on the paper, they're important.

I love you forever and always, Mom and Dad. I always did. Do.

And please... never forget me.

We'll speak again in the afterlife.

~Mickey.'

'Hey Em,

I told you the day would come. I didn't expect that day to come so soon. I love you, and I'm sorry for fighting with you so much, and being such a bad big sister.

Don't fall down the same hole I did. I'll make sure whoever hurts you will pay.

Don't be afraid to talk to Mallory if you need a friend. He's stupid, but he's nice and has gone through so much pain as well.

Make sure the old Radar knows about this, maybe then they'll open up their bloody eyes and stop being such idiots.

You're amazing. Don't forget that.

I love you so much, Emily.

~Mickey.'

I felt bad for writing them. But I was glad the pain would be over. I grabbed my medication, and my father's. Then I took it all. And it all went black.

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"She's awake! She's awake!"

I coughed. I realised I was in the hospital. Mom was in tears. I felt too weak to talk. I couldn't hear anything else anyone was saying. I just wanted to die. Why couldn't God give me that?

I demanded to go to school that Monday, and so I did. I managed to avoid my old friends, until music class. Because Em Pegg is in my music class. Mallory was in there, probably for plot reasons, but that's going on the wrong side of the fourth wall. And also, he magically learned how to play piano. The teacher paired him and I up together, because we were doing songs together or something. I had piano sheet music for something I wanted Mallory to play, so I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to him. "What's this?" he asked.

"Something I wanna tell Em Pegg through a song," I replied. "Just play it."

He shrugged before starting to play. (also pls exclude the cringe im getting a bit lazy with this story it'll end soon tho)

"I'm all choked up
I cannot talk
I've got a f*cked up brain
f*cked up thoughts
I thought I was okay
But then I guess not
Hope you know that this is your fault
I want you to feel bad when you go to sleep
I hope you're sad when you remember me
And feel bad for all you did to me
I hope you lie there in your misery

Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
When you get a little older
You'll get abandoned."

"Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels," Mallory chimed in. "Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart."

"Fighting for all that I've lost
It's my time to show who's boss
I've waited in the dark too long
I've got this now so just stay strong
Oh you won't believe until I'm up on stage
You make me bleed when you don't get your way
I hope you're scared when you remember me
I hope you lie there in your misery."

"Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart."

"Been in and out of recovery
Remember when I could hardly breathe
Sat in front of mirrors
Thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer
What I'm doing to myself
I've been in and out of covery
I remember when I could hardly breathe
I sat in front of mirrors
Thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer
What I'm doing to myself."

"Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
Hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart
Don't really care cause they broke your heart."

"Hey little girl

You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned..."

I broke down crying. Everyone was staring, I could tell. "Really, Mickey?" Em Pegg scoffed.

"Dude, were you not listening to any of that?!" Mallory exclaimed.

"It was just a song, jeez."

Why couldn't I just give up on them?

Mallory's P.O.V

I barged into the FBI facility. "Where is Agent Hawkins?" I asked the front desk.

The girl at the desk leant over a microphone. "Skye Hawkins, please report to the front desk."

And then there she was. In a suit with a tie, sunglasses and pink hair like the mad lad she was. Is. Was. Yeah. "Oh hi Mallory why are you here?" she asked, walking over to me.

"I need your help," I said

"Why? What with?"

"I need you to knock some sense into the- actually, just come with me."

We strolled down the street as I started to explain. "I'm not sure what happened, but Tibby, Billy and Em Pegg suddenly became really popular. And then Mickey was already depressed before that and she's smoking and cutting and crying and lonely... and taking pills... a-and... and she's tried killing herself..."

Skye just stared at me. Then she grabbed my sleeve and pulled me down the street down to the school. She burst through the front doors. Before the secretary could say anything, she hopped over the desk and spoke over the PA system, "Mickey Jones, get up to the front office now!"

Her voice cracked. Skye then waited very impatiently before spotting Mickey dragging her feet over. Mickey looked at her with no expression. Skye immediately went and hugged her. "Oh my God, oh my God, Mallory told me about you... I-I'm sorry... I should've known sooner! I should've... should've checked up on you lot! Oh my God, Mickey! You look so hurt," Skye burst out.

"Skye...?" Mickey asked. "I'm fine..."

"You're not! I can tell. Mallory, even though he's Mallory, wouldn't lie about something like this."

Mickey broke down crying in Skye's arms. We went into an empty classroom. Mickey started to calm down. "They know what they've done to me," she choked out. "But they don't care."

"I'll be back."

Skye stood and left the room. Tibby, Billy and Em Pegg were called to the front office, and Skye walked back in with the three teens. "Why is she here?" Billy snorted, pointing at Mickey.

I glared at him. "Mickey and Mallory have told me what's happening," Skye frowned. "What you three have done."

"What, her depression? That wasn't on us!"

Tibby tensed up. "Still! You left her when she needed you most!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, and what excuse do you have for not talking with us?" Em raised an eyebrow.

"I'm an adult! I have to support myself! My Dad has me on all this work stuff, and I come back to this whole thing! Honestly, I never would've thought this would happen."

Tibby started shaking. "She's hurt us more!" Billy exclaimed. "Before everything! Before this, when we considered her a fr-"

"SHE DIDN'T HURT US!!" Tibby suddenly shouted. "SHE CARED FOR US!!"

He broke down crying. "Oh, now look what you've done," Billy rolled his eyes. He put a supporting hand on Tibby's shoulder, but he shook it off. "I'm not upset because of them. I did what I did. I... I need to feel the extent of what I've done..." Tibby whispered.

I noticed Mickey was staring off into space. Her face crumbled. I was sure she was sick from the amount of crying she'd been doing, but I guess depression can do that to you. "Billy, Em Pegg... why can't you just feel even a little bit of sympathy?" she asked quietly, her gaze shifting to her former friends.

"Because you're alive! How about you go try die again! That was a fun time, wasn't it?" Em Pegg spat.

Billy smiled in agreement. We all stared at them. Mickey suddenly ran out of the room.

Mickey's P.O.V

I almost didn't feel sad anymore. I felt anger. I heard footsteps behind me. "Mickey! Mickey, wait up!" Tibby's voice echoed through the crowded halls.

Many people were laughing at me. "Shut it you dweebs!" Tibby shouted.

That had everyone go quiet. Tibby finally managed to grab my arm and pulled me around a corner to a dark, empty corridor. He exhaled deeply. "Look... I understand if you don't forgive me... after everything, but I... I MISS YOU! I miss your smile, your laugh, your voice... your care. You were everything to me," he blurted out.

"Then why'd you leave me?" I asked.

"Billy... he made me. I don't know why he did what he did, but he was my only friend for years... and I wanted to stay by him. He's a bad person now. I wanted to act tough, but after seeing your cuts... a-and just then, with that fight, seeing how hurt you were, how angry Skye and Mallory were..." Tibby started crying again. "I hate myself for everything."

He broke down, in tears on the ground. I could see how sad he was, and seeing it, I realised how much I missed his dorky personality. I remembered how much we loved each other. What we did for each other. With each other. "Tibby, Tibby..." I sat down next to him and patted his back in comfort. "Calm down..."

"Please, for the love of God, don't kill yourself!" Tibby cried.

"Don't worry. I won't... for now. But just know that... I miss you too. But the old you, the nerdy boy who was hopeless at hiding his huge crush. The boy you were before."

"I miss that me too..."

"Then bring him back! And you'll have me back in your arms."

Tibby stared up at me with sorrow in his eyes. But there was also a slight happy glow. "I'm not going to leave you like that again," he said.

I was still extremely angry at Billy and Em Pegg, so Tibby suggested we hang out in the music room. He knew music was like an escape for me. Before we went though, I asked Mallory to meet us there with Em Pegg and Billy for a chat. Skye saw the mischief in Tibby's eyes, because he full-well knew what I wanted, and so she insisted she tag along too. I smiled, happy to finally take out my anger.

Billy and Em Pegg looked very annoyed when they arrived. Skye and Mallory had the door shut, standing by it so they couldn't leave. "This is a little something I've wanted to tell you for quite a while," I said. I cleared my throat. And I started playing my guitar.

Tibby's P.O.V

I smiled when I heard Mickey start to sing in the voice she was always so self-conscious of. 

"Ha ha ha, this is about you

Beware, beware, be skeptical
Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold
Deceit so natural
But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning

Bla-bla-black sheep, have you any soul?
No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals
Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick
Jill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks

So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt."

Em narrowed her eyes at Mickey. But something made Billy look really scared.

Billy's P.O.V

Mickey was covered in blood, and her eyes were solid white. It was obvious no-one else saw it. I struggled to hide my fear. Mickey continued on with her song.

"Aware, aware, you stalk your prey
With criminal mentality
You sink your teeth into the people you depend on
Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem."

I tried to leave, but I couldn't. Mallory's and Skye's eyes were the same white.

"Feefifofum, you better run and hide
I smell the blood of a petty little coward
Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick
Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch

So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt."

Mickey sighed, and everything returned to normal.

"Maybe you'll change
Abandon all your wicked ways
Make amends and start anew again
Maybe you'll see
All the wrongs you did to me
And start all over, start all over again..."

She chuckled, and suddenly, everything was black. All I could see was Em Pegg and Mickey.

"Who am I kidding
Now, let's not get overzealous here
You've always been a huge piece of shit
If I could kill you I would
But it's frowned upon in all fifty states
Having said that, burn in hell!"

With that, Mickey's irises went red, and I could've sworn for a split second she had devil horns and a tail. But everything, once again, went back to how it was.

"So tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt

Karma's gonna come collect your debt."

Mickey passed her guitar to Tibby and stalked over to Em Pegg and I. She whispered in the melody of the song she sang, "Karma's gonna come collect your debt." 

She smirked.

I was petrified.

Ok i have no idea what that turned into. I just wanted to put songs in a story so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Um... part two?