<Skyler's POV>

My breath gets caught in my throat. Every fiber of me wants to say yes, I am ready. I am so ready to be married to this man. I want to marry him. I am going to marry him. "No." Dallas's face only falters for a moment before he covers up his dismay with a fake smile. "I'm sorry Dallas, really I am." He shakes his head.

"No no, don't apologize, you have every right, but could you just explain one thing to me?" Dallas asks hesitantly, keeping his cool significantly better than he used to. Maybe being a dad made him this way. Or maybe it was me that made him soft. Chris could have been the one to unlock his soft side, but the kids and I definitely drew the kind emotions out of that room. I nod my head vigorously, taking both his hands in mine.

"Of course Dallas, always," I oblige sympathetically. Dallas looks down a moment with that sad smile, making the eerie shadows on his face shift. He rearranges his hand so that they are holding mine. Not tightly, just enough so I can feel him begin to sweat. Enough to appreciate the way his rough skin rubs against my scarred hands.

"When we were at Darry's, you said you wanted to get married, you said what we had felt unfinished. So what changed? Do you not love me?" Dallas asks, his disdain beginning to shine through. His voice cracks. I once again rearrange our hands so I am holding his, and pull him a bit closer to me. To be honest, I have no clue why I said no. I'm panicking. How can I act so calm and panicked I much at the same time?

"Dallas, I will always love you, regardless of what happens between us, you will always be the love of my life," I preach to him. He smiles yet again, blush rising in his cheeks.

"And the car?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. A smile forms on my face.

"I love it!" I exclaim, throwing my arms around his neck. I love you, why did I say no. Dallas folds his arms around the small of my back. I feel him bury his head in my neck and take a deep breath. I do the same to him, taking in his scent and the feeling of the soft skin of his neck. We stay there for at least a minute, taking it all in. Thoughts race around my head, but I try to ignore them and just be. Be here with Dallas Winston. "I love you Dallas Winston, I'm in love with you." Dallas pulls away from me with furrowed brows. He stays this way for a split second before he leads me back into the house.

Once we make it back inside, Chris and Soda ask us what happened and we reply nothing. It's as simple as that. Except it's not simple at all, I want to marry Dallas. I need to. Slowly, almost in a trance, I make my way over to the kitchen, finding the bottles of half empty liquor strewn amongst the countertop. Numbly grabbing a bottle I take a sip. I'm not upset really, I just need to loosen up, forget about saying no to something I want so badly. I pour what amounts to maybe five shots in one of the Curtis's mugs and begin to gulp it back. The taste is absolutely vile, but I've grown accustomed to it over the past decade of my life. A smile forms on my face. Placing the mug down on the counter, now completely empty, I let the smile form on my face. Instantly, I feel lighter, I want to be happy with my family. As I walk back into the living area I grab Lena by the waist and start dancing giddily with her to the music. Her laugh fills me up and makes me feel even greater. Pony says something about this song being called "Bad Moon Rising" Steve rolls his eyes.

"I hate CCR," he states unhappily, but with a grin still on his face. I dance, well more flail around than dance, with Lena and soon everybody is at least swaying around. My laughter is unstoppable. Glee is coursing through my veins laced with alcohol. With a quick glance at the clock I realize it's nearly midnight. One more song, one more song to dance to. A song comes on, something I usually wouldn't be fond of. I listen intently to the lyrics as I jump around my the rest of the gang. "Just call my name.." I begin fumble backwards, tripping drunkenly over nothing but my own feet. "I'll be there in a hurry..." My back slams into someone's chest. "You don't have to worry..." A pair of strong hand grip my waist, holding me steady. I turn around to find myself face to face with the man I refused. But I want him, fuck I want him so bad. "Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough!" The lyrics go on, so giddy, so passionate. His hand runs from the small of my back up to my neck. It resides there for a moment, rubbing the soft skin of my neck. He then entangled his fingers in my dark hair. I place a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat under my palm. A constant reminder of the love for me that resides there despite my drastic mistakes. Dallas bends over so his head is in the crook of my neck. I feel his warm breath on my skin and it drives me to the edge. My arms snakes round his back. We sway slightly to the music, and in my drunken stupor, I forget that this is real. This is not a dream, thought it damn well could be. Our hips get close enough to the point where hey are pressed together. We stop swaying to the music. We stop listening to the lyrics. Everything just stops for a moment. I pull away just enough to see his face and those beautiful mysterious eyes. Upon finding that his eyes are staring right back at mine, my heart drops what feels like ten stories. Our foreheads end up pressed together. Dallas's jen breath mixed with mine as our lisp begins to hover around my own. Lean in and kiss him you daft girl! You love him, kiss him crazy! My eyes shut slowly. Yes! Do it! Everything in me screams to just kiss this man. I feel his bottom lip brush mine. Shivers run up my back and I begin to lean in even more.

Dallas pulls away slightly. "It's late we should get home for the kids." My eyes open even slower than they closed. I find Dallas looking anywhere but at me. Without meaning to, I sigh slightly.

"Right yes, the kids, you're right, it's late, I'll get the twins, and Tibby is sleeping on the couch with Josh," I mutter quickly before rushing away. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Christina with an 'I told you that you guys can't just me friends' look on her face. Purposefully, I completely ignore her and instead grab the twins in my arms. When I turn around I see Dallas already has Tibby in his arms. She had her little arms wrapped around his muscle clad neck. I bite my lips, holding back my smile at the sight. Nothing makes me happier than Tibby loving her father. After everything that happened during that pregnancy, they both deserve this bond between father and daughter. I can't ask for anything more.

Since Johnny is sleeping at the Curtis's tonight we bud him and everyone else goodbye. It will be nice for him to spend time with Pony and this way it's just Dallas, the kids, and I tonight. I won't lie, I'm kind of happy. I love John, but this family needs some serious time alone. Chris finds me and hugs my side as a goodbye. "Happy Christmas Eve, I'll see you guys tomorrow at dinner, love you guys," she whispers before kissing Dally on the cheek and seeing us out. The air outside is cold, so I pull the twins closer to my body. Together, Dallas and I place the three kids in the back seat of my new car. "Do you mind driving, I drank a little to much and I'm starting to get the spins," I exclaim trying to forget about how I should of just said yes.

"Sure thing," he states tiredly. I get in the passenger seat and try gaze out the window at the winter night. Dallas begins the short drive home. As he drives I move my gaze from the window to his face. Looking down at his hand that is not on the wheel, I suddenly crave his touch. I refuse myself the pleasure of his embrace and continue to stare out of the window. Eventually I close my eyes and just try to breath. I want to marry this man. Upon arriving st home I continue to stare out of the window. I can feel Dallas's stars on my back. "You ok Skyler Elizabeth?" Hearing my name leave his lips like that feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Tears form in my eyes.

"Yes I just need to sit for little,  can you put the kids to bed, I'm sorry I just really need to sit here for a minute." I'm asking a lot of Dallas, but I truly do need a minute.

Without hesitation, Dallas replies, "of course." Now the tears fall, silently, but very real. I do not deserve this man. Somehow he carries the three kids inside our home. It's so peaceful out here. I can hear the wind whistle through the trees and I can hear small animals run across the snow as it crunches under their feet. The street lights illuminate our imperfect neighborhood. I'm thankful for all of it. I'm thankful for the street lights and the soft sounds and the ever present comforting feeling of home.This is my home, and at the center of my home there he is. Then he really does show up, outside of the car. My heart begins to slam inside my chest. I begin to bite down hard on my bottom lip as Dallas opens my car door. It all happens within a second. Dallas opens the door, I take his hand and practically fall onto the pavement, landing on one knee. He looks down at me utterly confused. My entire body erupts into a fit of shaking.

"Dallas," I begin, tears pouring down my cheeks. "Dallas I've fucked up so much, and we've missed our chance so many times. But this is it, this is me giving us one last go. Dallas, we have three beautiful children, a perfect family. I have loved you for so long and I am so ready for what comes next. Please don't deny me this because I know that I'm going to love you until I'm six feet under and forever after that. Here it is Dallas Winston, marry me and love me to my fucking grave?" Dallas remains silent for only a moment.

"Skyler Elizabeth," he pauses and my heart drops.

"I thought you'd never ask."

A/N ITS BEEN SO LONG SO IM GIVING YOU THSI GIFT CONGRATS!! It's unedited but whatever!! Enjoy!

Stay gold💛

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