Summary: Philza is captain of the ship lovingly named Kristin, named after his wife back on his home planet, where they lived in a thriving flower forest named 'Flowerfalls', surrounded by clear ocean water and warm ocean breezes.

But this isn't about his life on his planet (Which he visits whenever they pass by) but instead about his life on his ship with his other family.

Family of chaotic shits that CAN'T SIT STILL– WHY IS THE POWER OFF?!

This is why Techno is the favorite

Notes: The chapter name was too long so it looks like a mess now and I'm too lazy to find a new name, just know it's the ship song yes.

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Who the fuck decided he needed to deal with the medicines?

Wilbur Ignores the fact that he's literally the scientist of the ship and instead makes sure they have potions and equipment for medical procedures in case they have an accident on the ship, which happens more often than not. Stars know how many times they've made pit stops just for more herbs and ingredients.

He'd just like to point out, it's not his fault, he sits in one place to work and works. He doesn't move a whole lot when working, zones in on his work until it's complete. Which is understandable y'know? He works as a scientist and keeps inventory of everything. (There was too many 'work' words in that sentence)

They didn't need to use a lot of their ingredients until the 2 gremlins moved in with the crew. Tubbo the menace and Ranboo just trying to keep his friend from blowing the ship up, which Wilbur greatly appreciates.

He should get him something. Ranboo likes those chorus fruits right? Enderians love those things... is that speciest to assume?

He hopes not, Ranboo loves being gifted things, he'd hold them for nearly a cycle. He's seen him do it. Although, concerning when Tubbo gives him something that could potentially hurt someone, but Ranboo is always careful with everything he holds.

Which is why it's extremely concerning that Ranboos communicator is down. It's never down, kid keeps that thing locked tight in his grip and keeps it in damn good condition too so it wouldn't fail on him. Better state than both Techno and Wilbur have.

Phil is speeding the ship to its limit and Techno keeps having to remind him to slow the ship down so he doesn't overheat the nuclear engine. We wouldn't be much use to Ranboo and Tubbo if we blew up before we even got to them.

The engineer of the ship and top security (Their only security really) falls right in the responsible lap of Technoblade, previously worked in some sketchy shit until Phil took one look at him and said "You look sad, I can fix that!" and now he's been given security and a family, which he refuses to acknowledge!

He will get you to admit it one day Techno, you may be capable of putting a dreamon to sleep with a single punch but he will win this.

Aaaanyhow, back to drugs.

The ship lurches forward, nearly dragging Wilbur down as he tries to keep everything from falling and breaking. A pen that he's been using to keep notes on inventory on his digital pad falls to the ground. Once he makes sure nothing is going to fall over he quickly bends down and picks the pen up and sets it next to his pad again

The hook on the side broke off, bummer.

"CAN YOU NOT LURCH THIS SHIP?? I'M TRYING TO TAKE INVENTORY!" shouting out the door, he hears his pen fall again. "Don't come looking at me, I don't touch the wheel. There's something wrong with one of the engines and steering, Phil has been speeding this ship past it's limit a few times and I think something came off" he hears techno shoat back at him, his voice coming closer.

Pen gets picked up again.

Sighing he quickly checks his digital pad, scanning through the items and ingredients, "As much as I also want to hurry and check on the kids, we'll be dead before we reach them at this rate" he goes to grab the pen to write something down, the ship tilts slightly to the left and the pen falls again.

He grumbles out in annoyance and bends to pick it up again, "Okay this is starting to piss me off" Techno rounds the corner, checking the room. "Make sure to close everything tight and secured, with how Phil is driving you don't wanna risk any of this stuff breaking-"

The ship practically lunges and both Techno and Wilbur desperately hold everything that nearly tips over, delicate jars, containers you name it. Wilbur also hears a small 'tink' and groans, knowing it's the damn pen again.

Once they check to make sure there will at least be a minute of stillness, they quickly start securing inventory. Wilbur picks up the pen again and this time puts it behind his digi pad, so it doesn't roll off again.

"Usually Phil is more responsible than this" Techno comments, nearly in disbelief. Wilbur scoffs, amused. "Oh please, second he so much as thinks those 2 are in danger you know damn well he will dance with the fucking void to get to them" Techno snorts at Wilburs reply. He wasn't wrong.

Wilbur remembers what Techno said earlier "You said something came loose in the engines? It's not outside is it? Don't think Phil would even allow us to do outside repairs at the moment" He feels the ship lean to the right slowly, him and techno adjust so they don't lose balance.

Same can't be said about the pen, it just slid off the counter.

Wilbur screeches. "WHY DOESN'T IT JUST STAY STILL??"

"It's a pen Wilbur, forget about it we have more pressing matters here. And no, it's not outside the ship luckily." He grumbles but agrees. They both quickly go around the med-bay, securing all products and herbs.

Wilbur also quickly grabs the pen and shoves it in an empty jar, feeling triumphant when he sets the jar down with the other containers.

After Techno ensures that everything is secured and huffed, looking amused at Wilbur shoving the pen in a jar. "I'm gonna need your assistance with the engine, while you're not an engineer in the slightest and I wouldn't trust you to fix something on your own, you're the only one decently skinny enough" Wilbur looks mischievously at Techno.

"Aww, does techie need my help? Course I'll help my little brother–"

''Nevermind, I take it back, I never knew you" Techno rapidly walks off, ignoring Wilbur as he follows Techno, teasing along the way.

A couple seconds later there was a strong jump in the ship and the sound of a jar breaking rings out.

Seconds later Wilbur is frantically fighting Techno, who's trying to restrain him, to get back to the med-bay with only rage in his mind.

"Wilbur! Wilbur it's just a–"

"IT'S THE FUCKING PEN, I KNOW IT IS! IT WAS IN A FUCKING JAR! HOW DID IT GET OUT!?"

"WIL!!!"

—---------------------------------------------------------

Outside the engine room, Techno is staring disapprovingly and disappointingly at Wilbur, who is sporting an injured eye.

It was silent, the only thing ringing out was the engine room and the oppressing feeling of judgment.

Nobody said anything.

"I–"

"How did you lose to a pen–"

"THE SHIP MOVED AND IT HIT ME IN THE EYE!"

"YOU LOST TO A PEN!"

"CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON THE ENGINE!?"

Wilbur sulks to the best of his species abilities as Techno cackles, like the pig bastard that he is and finally focuses on the engine. Chuckling as he gets the door pad opened and they both step through.

Techno then gives a quick explanation on the engine, not going too into detail since it's not some lesson he's giving. "One of these wires connects to a circuit board near the cockpit, that it's come loose, not completely, if it was completely loose then Phil wouldn't be flying the damn thing, much less steering. But it's fault and needs adjusting"

Wilbur scrunches his face, thinking about it. "Why wires? isn't everything normally wireless?" Techno doesn't look annoyed, it's a fair question for someone who mainly works in the med-bay and greengarden.

"Some of the newer models do that, but that's been known to have problems sometimes, both wires and wireless have problems, but I wouldn't trust some company brand to do wireless for me. They purposely make it so they have a higher chance of disconnecting easily and you have to go to them and pay them to fix their mistake, then reprogram it so after a specific amount of time it disconnects again. Not enough to make them want to change ships, but enough that it feels like the crew did something"

Wilbur looks at Techno and Techno stares back. "I've had a lot of time to study ships, and companies." Well that answers that.

Wilbur sighed, "So.. what? Do I have to follow the trail or something? I still don't see why you can't do it" Techno disagrees and grabs Wilburs arm to show him where he needs to go. They walk past a couple hallways and see a vent on the ceiling that's connected to the main network to the cockpit.

"You're the only one decently skinny enough to fit in that vent, luckily you don't have to travel far, you just need this lighting staff–" He gives him what is the human equivalent of a glow stick. "And find a blue wire, there's not a lot of wires luckily so you shouldn't get tangled in anything"

"You–... I– you want me to climb up that? I'll still be able to hear you, right?"

"You're not going that far Wilbur, it's just a couple of steps– err, crawls away"

Wilbur huffs and stands under the vent. Lifting his hands at Techno in a grabbing motion. "Lift me" Techno lifts him up and he pops open the vent, crawls inside and regrets it.

"IT'S SO DUSTY! I COULD SUFFOCATE IN HERE!" Techno shouts back, amusement in his voice. "Then hurry and be quick if you want to get out so badly"

"You're a dick Techno! When I get down from here I'm hiding all your gold"

"If you can even find them" Techno cackles quietly after hearing Wilburs yell of frustration being echoed.

After a couple minutes Wilbur manages to crawl to the panel with wires. "Which one was it again?"

"The blue wire" Wilbur looks for it and sees it, it's at an odd angle thanks to the other wires being in the way, so he carefully goes to reach in. "And what? This'll fix the engine? This little wire?" That seems way too simple.

"Nah, but the wire will help make sure the connection from the control systems in the cockpit don't go halfway into the engines and die on the way, being jostled so much. Phil could try turning right to avoid an asteroid and it won't turn right" that makes more sense.

"Boys? Are you fixing the connection?" Phil calls out to them, after hearing small talk down the open door of the cockpit. He's been having a rough time trying to make the ship move accordingly, his instincts demanding him to hurry up and get to the location.

"In the process of it, just waiting for Wil to–'' The power went out.

The only lights being the windows viewing the stars and even then that's hardly any light. The stars are light years away.

"...Wilbur what the f–"

"Give me a second! The other wires were in the way, I think I moved them, one of my eyes are injured, remember? Damn pen..." Wilbur's voice echoes from the vents. There's a 'tink' sound. Then a screech from Wilbur.

"WHY IS THE PEN WITH ME–"

"WILBUR THE WIRES!"

"HOW DID THE PEN GET HERE!?"

"WILBUR!"

Philza sighs, feeling all the years catching up on him. His wings felt heavier from the headache coming in. listening to Wilbur screech about a pen and Techno yelling back to get the damn wires fixed.

He looks into the void that stares back at him, if the void could feel emotions, it would be feeling extremely entertained. "This is why Techno is the favorite..."

"I FUCKING HEARD THAT PHILZA MINECRAFT!"

"WILBUR SOOT GET THOSE WIRES FIXED OR SO HELP ME I WILL CHUCK YOU OUT THE AIRLOCK!"

"I WILL GLADLY WELCOME THE VOID TO CONSUME ME AT THIS RATE!"

Stars help him. How has he survived this long?

He just hopes desperately that Tubbo and Ranboo are alright, stars know what's happening to those 2. Tubbo becomes a target the majority of the time, teased and ridiculed for his species' small size. His only defense being a powerful sting but many species still mock them.

Tubbo must be struggling wherever he is.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

Tubbo is struggling to not strangle this human.

He likes Tommy, he really does, he helped him get food, gave him some of his stored water, kept him warm and hidden from the guards whenever they came to feed Tommy.

BUT NOBODY TOLD HIM HUMANS WERE THIS CUDDLY.

Now that he and the Hu- Tommy, are on name terms, Tommy has taken this as permission to hold Tubbo often. Holding or at least being in constant contact with Tubbo.

Ranboo is going to fucking freak when he tells him about this.

...

...

...

SHIT, RANBOO!

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Notes: I was like, cackling this whole time, did you know i had no idea what to do originally? I had a pen constantly falling and decided Wilbur will feel my rage and pain and suffer with me

Also this whole thing was originally meant to be in Philzas POV. But as I started typing I couldn't just delete it so i kept going.