"Hey love, haven't heard from you in a while. Um, I think you probably aren't coming home for birthday stuff this weekend, which I totally get, and it's fine love."

She was a bit sad that Ethan hadn't called about coming home for her birthday, but also really relieved. That was a shitty mix of feelings, like when you anticipate sweet melty goodness and get the bitter when your chocolate is too dark. She had plans for this weekend, birthdays to celebrate and feelings to prove, and having her son coming home to her would just make things, well, impossible. "But I just wanted to know for sure, and, well um, just to hear your voice. I know you are big and have a whole life outside your old mum. But, well I have news, and you must too. So, call me back! Ta."

Jo bit her lip and wondered if she should say something. Even something as simple as I'm seeing someone. Jo wasn't ready to tell him who. Last night she had stared at Harry sleeping by her side, like he had for nearly a month, nightly, and wondered when she would be ready to tell Ethan the truth. She had resolved to tell him part of it. Even if that was as bland as she was seeing someone and thought they might be in love.

It was groundwork, slightly manipulative groundwork, because she was hoping if he had time to see how happy she was, how being loved like this, so badly, made her feel like she was a bird flying on gold tipped wings who always found home, he would be able to get over that Harry was his friend, and the same age as him, and seemingly unsuitable. Ethan would see Harry was a bad idea on paper, but was poetry in real life.

She had big plans for this weekend, and since she knew she was not ready to be totally honest with her son about the love that was consuming her, Jo needed to check his plans before she made her own. That deception sat uncomfortably on her shoulders, but the Atlas strength to carry it was in her broad planes. She could sustain it if she got to paint the wind and sky with Harry.

And she had big plans for Harry. He had gone above and beyond to prove his feelings for her, and though he was accepting of her sleepy, rapturous, and casual I love yous, she could tell he was at least a tiny bit dubious.

Jo wanted to erase the hesitation he had in his eyes. She wanted to prove she was committed, so he could be comfortable with how devoted he couldn't help but be. She hoped after this weekend, he could see that they had both pushed all of their chips to the center of the table, that she had higher stakes, and that they both could win.

She needed to know Ethan's plans, then she would finalize her own and show Harry all of the colors he brought out in her. The blues of her calm mornings when they could linger in bed, the browns of the tea he made her, the reds of the spices when he cooked tikka for her, and especially the green of his eyes, her new spring.

But Ethan didn't answer. He had been out of touch much of the last semester, and she maybe didn't notice because she was preoccupied with her own complicated tangled heart strings. That made Jo's pulse rate. She knew what she could give Harry for his birthday.

She had an image, from that thought and needed to commit it to canvas.

Because Harry and her shared a birthday. She had forgotten in the years when he was growing up and she was trying to look grown-up herself. They never celebrated together, except the one time. Once Ethan insisted they sing to everybody the day before because he had baked a cake for both of them. Harry had been so red cheeked Jo assumed he couldn't stand the fuss. She had been endeared of her own sweet boy more than his friend. Jo thinks they were 13, she figured it was teenage insecurity on Harry's part.

Knowing him now, she knew it was just intense pleasure mixed with ingrained English reserve. The boy loved a fuss. Liked to be the center of attention for all the discomfort, it also pleased him to be recognized. Jo was intent on making him feel seen. That he was all she could see and feel and hear some days. What she loved to touch and taste most. She wanted to make a big fuss about him and his birthday. Paint the town and the canvas red.

She made her phone call to Audrey, checked that Zoe was in her bed. Her little girl was fidgeting, but staying put, that was progress.Last week had been particularly sleepless between Zoe and Harry and led to their decision to separate tonight. Still, Jo brought her shameful little monitor, and her wine into her studio and started working on his gift.

Her phone rang later, when she was knee deep in heartbeats and she fumbled for it. Jo hoped to hear the deep rumble that filled her dreams and ear most nights, but was chuffed to hear a happy lilt instead.

"Hey mum! I just got your message. I'm running to my shift at the pub tonight, it's quiz night and we are always crazy, but I wanted to let you know I have no expectation that I can make it this weekend and if I do, it will be short-lived." He sounded breathless.

"Do you still run late, boy?" She didn't sigh. She pushed it down. That was a personality quirk she had tried to teach him to work around. Jo thought it was rude, Time was the most valuable commodity anybody had, she wanted him to respect other people's, his own too.

"Only sometimes! I'm loads better! I was on a date..." he left that out there.

"Ahhhh, new?" Jo waited, waiting was most effective for drawing out Ethan.

"Um, no, not new." He puffed and percolated "I think, I think I'm really in love mom." His voice bubbled out like boiling coffee, full of energy, deep, rich, and full.

"Oh babes, I'm so happy to hear that. I figured you were a bit preoccupied." No guilt she thought to herself, don't guilt him. That didn't work with Ethan.

"I have been a bit off the radar, but that's not why I don't think I can make it home, I have exams and work. Earliest late Saturday, maybe I'll make you breakfast in bed like I used to for Mother's Day. Don't think I've improved much beyond muesli and yogurt though." He laughed.

"Um I'd like my kitchen unsinged please!" Jo laughed. "Are you bringing your love?" She wanted to meet them, Ethan didn't bring girls home.

The line was quiet for a minute.  "Not yet Mum. Let me make sure it's for real."

Jo bit her lip, she wanted to tell him she didn't care if it lasted, but that she wanted to meet anybody who made his voice sing like that. Instead she said, "Ok love, but as soon as you are ready, yeah?"

"Yes, Mum, I'll trot my darling out for you to inspect soon enough." She could hear the eye roll. "Listen, I'm about to walk into work, I'll call you if I can come. Happy early birthday!"

And he was gone. Jo was happy to have heard a little bit about his love but she still had yet to tell him about Harry. Well, not about Harry, specifically, but her love life. But she did have some details about Ethan's plans, so she could make her own.

Hours later, She looked at the painting before her and narrowed her eyes to look at some of the lines. Jo thought she had done a good job approximating what she was going for, but she decided to go and grab something from Zoe's baby book to be sure. Once back in the room, she nodded to herself, glugged a bit more wine and mixed a red to match the hue she guessed her lips were right now.Jo imagined they looked a bit like they were drunk on Harry. She drew the lines up to the center of the figure featured in her piece. She cracked the gold paint then, one of the ones she had bought and began a heart, anatomical with the suggestion of the shape we teach in preschool too. It may not be perfect by tomorrow morning, but she was sure he would let her come pick on it later. Jo loved painting in his studio, that was part of her plan for tomorrow too.

She needed to sleep. She was sure Friday night would stretch into Saturday morning, and she was hoping the swift passage of the hours would be as shocking as they had been that first night they had struck gold.

She added the last touches and checked her phone, Harry had work to finish. They had decided to stay apart tonight. It was a good decision at the time, but now it was not her favorite thing in the world. It meant they had to go to sleep alone, sadly, but she was able to plot and plan, the only plus.

"Damn!" Jo murmured when she slid into the bed and felt the expanse of the empty mattress. She had already said good night to him, she should leave it be. The need to roll over and smell where his hair usually spread out was huge, and Jo gave into it and inhaled deep.

Her phone was in her hand seconds later and she was just about to hit face time when the tone of one came in. Harry's left dimple, a little too close to distinguish exactly what it was other than maybe flesh popped up, she hit answer and his whole face shown, like the moon.

She couldn't help but smile. He looked sleepy, he was blinking slow and he was in pants and wild hair and nothing else. "Hi, lover," she sighed and lay back on his pillow at a diagonal.

"Hey, couldn't fall asleep without looking at you. Thought it would help me dream well. You answered very swiftly." He smirked for a second before his eyes softened and opened just a bit wider.

"I had the phone in my hand to call chat you. I might have wanted you to color my dreams too."

"Looks like it. You look," and he stared at her and waited a beat. He shook his head a little and smiled fondly.

Jo wiped her mouth. "How do I look? A bit of a mess?"

"No, only in that way I mentioned." He quirked up the sides of his mouth, "I just like your face. But your lips are wine stained. Been painting?"

"I have! I have a continual source of inspiration." Jo looked at him through her lashes and thrilled at the pleased smile and pink in his cheeks. She adored him. "What time are you done tomorrow?"

"Um, pretty early, but my mum wanted me to come by." He looked down and seemed unsure. "It's my birthday."

Jo hid her smile, "Is it? We'll have to do something."

"Yeah, that would be nice." He looked shy. "Should I come by after my mum's? I think she wanted to do lunch."

"Text me, I'll have Zoe." Her grin was becoming irrepressible, she needed it repressed. "I'm wiped, lover. I'm gonna dream of you—"

"Naked?" He tried for just a little cheek.

"No, not awake enough for naked you. I think I'll dream of your waffles—"

"Of eating them naked?" He smirked.

"Are you angling for birthday sex, here H?"

"I might be." He laid his head back in a mirror of her posture.

"Put that down as a definite maybe." Jo smirked back.

"I'll take a maybe when you look like that."

Jo checked her image square on the facetime screen. Her hair was spread out wildly and she assumed she was a bit like the siren he watched move beneath him most evenings, but not tonight. "You are hard to get off the phone with."

"Hard is a word." He reached down out of frame and she saw his forearm flex.

"Surely we can go a day without each other?" She joked, and felt the need to hold it all back for tomorrow.

"I mean, we can, but why should we?" He scrunched his brows and did his trout pout at her.

"Oh love, you are so cute, except when you try to pout your lips, then muppet city. Can muppets not pucker?" She giggled.

"Oi, I'll show you a pucker."

"Show me tomorrow, birthday boy." She pointed at him.

"That mean I get birthday sex?" His brows were hopeful and his eyes puffy.

"Depends if I get enough sleep." It depended on absolutely nothing- it was at least one-third of her birthday plans. A half.

"Alright, goodnight, I'll miss your smell."

"Me too. I love you." Jo promised with intent to prove it.

Harry nodded, and Jo tried not to let it bug her. Their birthday would have to be extra special.

The next day, she avoided texts and calls and left him on read and wondering. Jo knew that he would be a bit confused despite the face he knew Fridays she was on campus half day then picked up Zoe early and they did something. If it wasn't too chilly or rainy, they parked it up, if there was something she was excited to see, Jo took Zoe to the cinema, sometimes they did an extra gymnastics class, or took a 'Mommy and Me ballet. It was their day. She could tell by his last text that he was chomping at his bit, but trying to not make her choose. Harry could be greedy with her time, though he tried to keep himself in check, which was good, because Jo knew her no was broken when it came to him. He could be greedy on his birthday, so could she, but she wanted to preserve er surprise.

"I hope you and Zoe are dancing, send a pic to make my birthday." Harry sent at about 3 o'clock.  He wanted her to remember, maybe was afraid she would forget, that made her chuckle at the irony while she stirred batter and chopped potatoes. She wondered if he would drive by her house on the way back into Manchester from the city.

The Styles lived on the outside of the village on the other side in a stone house. Well, Anne did alone now. That made Jo sad for just a moment and happy for Zoe's later life arrival. It was not to much of a detour to swing round hers. He would find it empty. His own home, not so much.

Harry's kitchen was a bit strange to cook in. He had made her things there a time or two and he had a well developed spice rack so she had only had to cart over the fresh ingredients. It was always slightly strange to be in a new space doing a new thing. Exciting though. Like painting in his studio was always exhilarating, though that was her company she imagined.

Jo checked the clock. He should be here soon. She had set up the studio with the piece she wanted to finish for him, just next to what he was working on, the food would be ready to simmer down to enrich the flavor, she had the oil going for the puddings and the potatoes were browning, and her special surprise was tucked nicely away under her clothes.

She just knew she was going to burn the Yorkshire's. She had them down at this point, but they still went wrong if she got distracted.

Jo heard the key in the door and knew there was over six feet of distractions coming her way. She tried to get her game face on, but was so excited to see him she could already tell she was gonna fuck up the bread.

Jo could just serve him her. She might look good on the platter she brought over for the roast.

She heard Harry's sigh and the forlorn little sound played her heart strings like a harp. He really expected nothing, which was what she wanted, for this to be a total surprise, but now she felt a little sorry for it. Though that sound meant he was feeling plenty sorry for himself.

A second later she heard him inhale big and knew he was on to her. The smell of roasting meet and potatoes giving her away. His keys made a clanging sound in the bowl she had gotten him. They both lost their things, keys, debit cards, heads, all the time, and a bowl near the door was a trick she had found worked years ago. She presented him one two weeks ago. She still blushed at his thank you.

"Hello?" He called out cautiously, and rounded the counter that conveniently hid her.

Jo turned to him in her vintage jeans, they were low and flared, and looked like what she imagined his dream girl would wear with the 'Women are smarter' t-shirt she had taken off him. She liked that if you peered at it, you could see the scallops of her bra. Maybe her nipple through the thin white fabric and translucent lace it tried to hide.

"Happy Birthday!" She enthused on a breathy whisper, with her hands clasped at her belly button. Would he like it? Did he like surprises?

She guessed so, because rather than say anything, he rushed into her space and picked her up, burying his face in her neck where she had put a little extra Amour for him. Jo expected she smelled just the way he liked from the heat of the kitchen stove. She was even barefoot, he loved her disheveled and homey.

"Baby, I had begun to think you had no interest in spending my birthday with me." He kissed the side of her neck and smeared his lips onto her cheek before he smiled at her, giddy at her presence and surprise.

"No, I just really wanted to surprise you and I'm poor at keeping those to myself, and I spent days planning on how to spend our birthday." Her hands were behind his shoulders, where they tended to notch into where his trapezius met his deltoid when he gave her his big squishy hugs. Like the one of relief she had just got.

"We could spend all evening in bed and that would make for a great birthday, but," he looked behind her at his stove. "It looks like you have more plans for me than that." Jo watched the penny drop and a doopy smile spread over his face. "And did you say 'our birthdays?'"

His eyebrows quirked and Jo saw the spark of a memory come to him. "Do you remember, maybe the second year we lived here, Ethan made us a cake, and we all sang together?" Harry was nodding excitedly. "That's because, love of mine, we share a birthday."

He smiled his pleased smile, the one when he was entirely charmed by a situation, his dimples knife slices in his cheeks and the round apples above warm in hue, "further proof," he mumbled, lying his head against hers.

"Further proof of what?" She inhaled his scent. He smelled like tea today and like, "Did you have scones?"

"Yeah, with my mum. She makes lovely scones. One day," he eyed her up meaningfully, "you'll see how good they are, because we fit like lock and key. Who else could stand a loopy, aloof Aquarian but another one?" He picked her up then like he couldn't contain how giddy he was, and he twirled her about.

She knew the sentence had gone on beyond the lock and key comment, but Jo was stuck in the center of his sentiment, and of his heart.  She wasn't sure if their shared birthdays were more than a cute coincidence, but him using the same analogy she could basically visualize, certainly feel, when they were together, struck her dumb.

"Where did you go there? Earth to Jo?" He slipped his hands into her back pockets with just the .slightest squeeze. It got her attention, which was part of the purpose.

"You open me up." She breathed out. It was low, almost a mumble.

Jo had felt giddy a moment ago, with her reveal and successful surprise, now she felt struck dumb. Was that why they flowed so wel? When the words soulmates came across her heart, she wanted to laugh at it, but it fit, just like a oiled key in a rusty lock.

"What, birthday girl. I didn't catch that." He squeezed lightly again and put his nose tip to hers. Harry was definitely giddy, he giggled and she was endeared beyond measure.

"Your birthday gift to me," She blinked her eyes, her emotion wicked away so she could speak,  "you open me up, Harry. I've never," How did she tell him, "I've never felt so expansive. I love you." She pressed a kiss to him, the edges of their lips blurring together. "I love you so."

He immediately tried to deepen the kiss and his hands gripped her ass to pick her up.

She knew he would be a distraction, a lovely, amazing rib cracking distraction. Jo resisted, because she should. "No, lover, I'll burn your dinne--"

"I don't care." He swiped her breathy lips with his tongue and took her back under again. "And that's not enough of a birthday gift. I'll come up with something surely. Since you've done all this. And it's our Birthday! " He pulled back enough to smirk at her and she really wanted to blow off dinner, but.

"Nope, I wanted your birthday to be specia--"

"It is, you let me unlock you. That's a pretty big gift, Jo. And you made plans, for me. It's," he searched for a word and looked at her, "I don't think I can even say, I may need to paint the feeling."

Jo felt her eyebrows rise in excitement. "That's part of your birthday too, I'll show you after I feed you--"

"I know exactly what I want to eat." He held her fast and rubbed himself against her.

"I hope it's roast beef and potatoes in duck fat and yorkshires with Victoria Sponge cakes for desert, cuz that's what you are getting." She laughed against his muppet mouth.

"The only cake I want to eat is here." He cupped between her legs. "And it's lemon with honey and my favorite taste."

Jo went liquid, and she was thinking about that platter again. She had plans though, they could last another hour, maybe. "That is part of it too, I am on the menu tonight. But let me spoil you, lover." And she licked the seal of his lips open and gave him a tease of flavor. "Please."

He was froggy throated and flushed. "Ok, yeah, um. Should I sit?"

"If you want to watch me, sure, or you could do whatever you were going to do when you got home before you noticed me." She turned back to the stove, but wiggled her hips a tad more than necessary as she cooked because she could feel his eyes on his favorite body part.

"I was going to feel sorry for myself while I gave myself what for for being jealous of your toddler. So, I'd probably end up painting. Can I go do that?" She looked over her shoulder at his face and his eyes quickly slipped up to meet hers.

"You can, just let me hide something first." She pulled the roast out to rest and put in the muffin tin and ran over to the bedroom, "Music?" She called over her shoulder and caught his nod. Her smile widened when 'Cornflake Girl' played. She reckoned it was his colors playlist and smiled.

In studio she tidied away his gift painting. She stared at it and realized it needed more work than she thought and had an idea. It got squirreled away behind another of landscape, his one lunar in appearance with a female figure with big eyes and silver hair, alien in appearance and cold in feel.

Jo shivered and put her work in progress out of his eye line and grabbed a couple gifts for him. If he was going to paint, she may as well give him the tools she had bought him. They figured in her plans for the night as well.

The music had switched to Citizen Cope and Jo definitely felt sideways and upside down, but it was the pleasant disassociation of a rollercoaster. They were definitely still climbing. She couldn't wait for the weightlessness of the fall.

"Harry?" She came into the kitchen and found it empty, so she set to work on his pudding and was proud of her pour and that they made it in the oven when he came into the room in a pair of sweats, sans pants, she breathlessly noted and a half buttoned shirt, this one paint speckled. He must have been to frenzied to even take it off.

"Yeah, babe?" He said casually, Iike she inhabited his kitchen everyday at this hour and Jo found her smile like a bouy on the waves.

"Just thought I'd lost you." She grinned at him.

"Unlikely." He shook his head and waltzed up to her and danced her around the kitchen to the back and forth beat.

"I wanted to give you your present, so you can use it while I'm finishing up dinner." She stepped on his foot and they both laughed.

"Is there more than the surprise and menu then?" Harry was gleeful and Jo was so happy he was happy.

"Yup, quite a bit more." Jo gleed back up at him.

"Jo, I don't think you can make me love you anymore, but I like you trying." He rubbed his head against hers. "God! I can't believe we have the same birthday, or that I forgot it. I think I was so excited Ethan made me something, I just missed it. The same birthday! Can you believe?" His face, he had his eyes closed and was grinning. God, her heart was swollen.

"Actually, I'm not trying to curry favor, I'm trying to prove mine." She pecked him sweet, "So take your gifts and paint while I finish and plate up."

"Okay," he said, and just before he left the room he rushed back to her and took both hands, "Thanks, I've never..." he sighed. "Well I've never had a proper relationship, and I know we aren't even official—"

"We're not?" Her eyebrow was up. Why was she telling her son anything then.

"I just thought..." he gave Jo a wry smile. "I'm fucking up this thank you. But baby, Jo, this is the best birthday ever. And I'm so honored to share it with you. And we can be official, whenever you want. Don't think it could be realer to me in any case. Thanks is all in trying to say, anyway."

"Stop talking, go paint something pretty or moving and that's my thanks." He headed off and Jo heard the whoop and exhale when he saw the new jar of gold she had cracked for him. She knew how expensive that pigment was before they both had decided they were painting their own gold rush.

"Jo!" She heard him yelp. He found the brush then. She smiled into her hand and yelled at him when she heard his footsteps coming.

"Paint, you can thank me later!" She turned on the oven light and sang along with Ms. Amos. Jo felt like she was living her own fairy tale too, if you squinted.

30 minutes later, she was setting quite the still life scene on the small table in Harry's kitchen nook.  Once she lit the two candles she almost took a picture, she just wasn't sure who she would show. And putting it on instagram would invite speculation she wasn't willing to have, yet.

Jo sighed and walked to the studio.

The scene there made her sigh rise again, but this was like the one of exhilaration at the crest of the rollercoaster. It was complicated, but hers, and so was he.

Harry had cast off his button up and was in his light grey sweats. He'd gone straight for the gold and she could tell he had used his fingertips on the canvas too. His nail beds were dipped in gold. She could imagine the flash of opposing sheens with the silver on the table. The look of the gold against the cream of her body stole her breath a beat later when that scene followed her imaginings of him holding utensils to eat her food, and then her flesh to eat her.

"Har-Harry," damn, that hitch was early.

His head shot up and his face was open and struck and wanting. "Yeah," he gulped.

"Food is ready," Jo had to swallow to get that out. And she walked to the kitchen and her heart pounded faster than his feet slapped the floor behind her. Harry was hot and on her heels. She turned to him when they reached the kitchen, "hungry?"

"Um..." he looked down and laughed at himself, but looked up hopefully. "Famished. Can I have my dessert first?"

Jo knew she had started something with his name, she hadn't exactly meant to, "It's your birthday, you can have whatever you like."

"It's your birthday too, what do you want?" She looked him over and thought about the hours she had spent cooking.

"Dessert," came out against all her planning and better judgement.

He didn't say much about that.

But they created another life scene on his kitchen table, though it was not still. Jo found that though a table against your back was theoretically uncomfortable, having nothing absorb the impact of Harry moving into her but her own body was pleasurable beyond belief, a gift.

His other gifts they put to good use too.

Jo returned the favor of their first golden night with the brush he hadn't been able to convince himself to open.

Jo had no such qualms, she quickly unribboned and unwrapped the brush and pushed him down and used the brush and her mouth and hands until she was able to rouse him after his forceful releases in the kitchen.

They found themselves stumbling into the kitchen raw in emotion and looks after losing time. It was somewhere around three am when they made it in to eat the dinner Jo had left on the kitchen table. The meat tasted better, but the belabored Yorkshires were worse for wear.

Neither of them were sorry they devoured dessert first.

They didn't get to painting together until the next morning; Jo was more sure than ever about her last minute decision to give him the golden valley when the painting she had started for him the other night just wasn't turning out.

"I'm gonna run home and get you another painting I made for you, I don't think I showed you that one yet. You should have it, it's my favorite right now. It feels right, you should have it." She looked at him with her heart on his sleeve and between her teeth. "For your birthday, my love."

"I don't really want you to go." Harry pulled her in and worked on getting the shirt she had thrown on, the flamingo button up he'd tossed her after their shower, off. "Stay, you can give it to me later."

"No, I let you change my plans last night." Harry curled his tongue behind his teeth and Jo nearly swallowed her tongue when she felt deja vu over that move. "I'll be right back H. What's that thing about setting what you love free?"

"Will you?" He asked, the first bitter taste of reality, of the ride ending around his eyes. "Come back?"

"Course, asap, as they say. Where else would I be on our birthday?" They both grinned before her face softened at him. "Nobody else unlocks me, Harry." At that he smiled and took her kiss kindly.

Her promise was empty though, because the only other person with the key to her home let himself in while Jo was straightening herself up to go back to Harry.

When the first words out of his mouth upon seeing her was, "God, mum! That is a shirt I would guess only Harry would love." Jo knew the bottom of that first drop was only the beginning.