Jo walked into her classroom and felt her fingers slip. She had to grip her laptop bag so her MacBook and plans didn't go flying. She wasn't sure how she kept ahold of her syllabi. They were just in her hand. And Harry had the audacity to smirk.

The night before she'd texted back immediately, which she was sure broke some rule she did not know about dating in the current world, not that she knew how to date, ever. She was reasonably certain that you were not to show enough interest to answer back right away.

Jo also sucked at games though, and she wasn't sure she and Harry were dating anyway. On the one hand, they had only been on one date. But the date had extended into, well, consumed the weekend, and had felt exactly like shaking up. They had also had sex, lots of times, and she wasn't sure if that was supposed to define a relationship, and she had tried to call it 'just fucking' over and over in her head. But it did not ever feel like that. And she wasn't that girl anyway.

Jo had casual sex because that's what was available to her, but she carried a deep affection in her heart for all of her partners. The way she felt about Harry was burrowed somewhere deep beneath her breastbone. She wasn't sure if he had become necessary to her as blood or oxygen, but he was within her in a way she didn't want to examine closely.

Jo had answered his text, with the truth. His 'see you soon.' Had been met with her 'I hope so.'

Harry was right. If the two of them were all groin and no feeling, it was ridiculously risky, foolshardy and stupid. Any chance she had to keep it relegated to such a place was eradicated by spending time with him. He was joy, even when they were disagreeing, especially then. She liked the way he talked and thought and he was considerate and sweet. So, while she was lying in her bed and alternating between hugging and sniffing the pillow that smelled of Harry and deciding it was impossible to end it the next time she saw him or maybe ever, Jo had come to the conclusion that she didn't want it to be just fucking to either of them. That if it was he was not who she thought he was and he was a liar.

Was he a liar?

He 'd asked her to just let them be together, to feel them. And they felt so good, like home, but like no home she had ever lived in, like the best version she had ever dreamed up for her own. God, how unfair was it that he felt like a real partner? Someone to help shoulder her burden and who loved her children.

That was the full stop right there. How could he love Ethan as his mate and Zoe like his daughter? Babysitter? Dammit, she thought, maybe, she should end it. He was too young to be a stepdad and it was too fucked up to be real.

To bad it was real. It was supernatural and ultra-sensory and though he'd kept her up all night both nights he'd shacked up with her, she was awake and alive and confused despite the sleepless nights.

But there was no doubt she felt real feelings for Harry. None of them were simple, she knew their name too, but she was not willing to admit it to herself. It was bigger than four letters anyway.

Could she have this?

Because she wanted it.

"I want him." She said out loud to the dark.

That's when she fell asleep. The admission unlocked the chains on her dreams and they were full of gallery walls covered with painting of women with clear joyful faces. She slept well, though short.

The next morning, she could see the toll of her sleepless nights under her eyes and fished out her eye patches so she wouldn't look too atrocious, old. She also found her favorite mauve lippy, enough color to be seen, but not too much for her first day of classes. When Jo was changing based on how her ass looked in her trousers she had to admit she was getting ready for him. Hoping soon was today.

The button up sealed it. What was she hoping for here? When she seriously considered a skirt in the cold late January morning she really had to pause. It's not like they could have it off in her office.

Jo took just a moment to imagine that, Harry clearing her desk like some overwrought movie and bending her over it like he had the hood of his car.

That was a delicious thought, she liked the pink of her cheeks it brought up, but it was also ridiculous. And more than risky. Having sex in her office was plain stupid.

As it would be to climb in his lap where he was sitting front and center in her senior technique class.

He had not been on her roster two days ago.

Jo realized she was still staring at him and he was hiding his cheeky grin in his iced coffee straw.

He's wearing a white button up too, but he only had half the closures done and she knew if he leaned forward, she'd want to capture the butterfly, or watch its wings tremble. Maybe when he passed the syllabi.

Shit, the syllabi. She had a job here today.

Jo called, "Morning. Everybody defrosted by now?"

And she heard some murmurs of agreement and the normal morning malaise of a class before 10am. Ethan had changed that habit quickly. Her post-adolescent sleep-in days ended with his 6am habits. Now he would sleep all day if she let him.

Harry seemed chipper this early though.

And attentive, his eyes were on the small of her back while she climbed the auditorium stairs in the small lecture hall. She could feel their movement over her body like an itch or tickle. Not entirely unpleasant, but distracting for sure.

Last semester, she could feel when he was looking, but Jo wasn't so aware of exactly where he was looking and what it might mean. She knew better now. Increased knowledge was not always comfortable. His eyes were focused on the dimples on her lower back. They were obscured at the moment, but Sunday afternoon he had laid his head on her ass and talked to her about his meeting with a counselor that week. Harry had been seeing a therapist since the end of college.

"He told me that I've grown a lot. That I used to just wish for what I wanted. That he was proud of how I made plans and went for them. I'm proud of how I executed my plan to get you!" Harry kissed the top of her glute where the hill of her ass turned to the valley of her back before climbing to the mountains of her shoulders.

"What was that plan?." She turned her head and watched him use his index finger to swirl in the dimple he was currently looking at. Today she could still feel the sensation and the goosebumps it launched.

"I could tell you wanted me, even before you watched me wank rather than yelling at me. So I just tried to turn up and be near you a lot and try to see your green lights. Was so sad when you stopped coming to swim lessons. Thought me being wet and shirtless would get you to you faster." His fingers walked up her spine.

Jo arched her back to nudge him. "You were right, but I was determined to stay on red."

Harry kissed the top of her glute where the hill of her ass turned to "What color are you now? Definitely not red?" He nipped her bum.

"At least yellow." She bit her lip. Jo knew the weekend had brought her screaming into green, neon green like his eyes when he was mad.

"Yellow my, no! Your arse." And he spanked her and crawled up her back to make sure he had all the go signs.

Jo squared her shoulders where his gaze was roving and flipped her hair over her shoulders to focus, or preen. Either was a power move, and that was what she would have to take from his looking at her like he wanted to devour or immortalize her. In class, it would have to be admiration she focused on. If he could make her feel surer of herself when she was naked, comfortable and sexy, she'd use it in class. She felt like she could use it everywhere. Jo had been. Her meeting with her department head this morning was the best she had ever had. Jo had never felt so powerful.

As distracting as having Harry in class may be, she could not deny that she was warm all over from seeing him. And from him looking at her.

That was not what she was going to tell him, of course. The little shit. That's what he had meant by that last text. He must have just changed his schedule when he got home, or she supposed from his phone at her place. Maybe even her bed. That thought was distracting.

Jo brought herself back to the moment, moved her eyes off their favorite sight. The sound of her chunky heels clicked and clacked over the concrete stairs and across the wood floors until she reached her lectern and computers. She pulled up her copy of the syllabus and took a breath.

Harry was waiting with a smile like a Tahitian diver's trophy. She smiled back and shared it with the rest of the class.

"Morning, I'm Professor Smith, let's go through this syllabus, answer any questions and get you set up for your first praticum so you can get on with your more boring classes, shall we?" There was a chuckle at her cheek and she couldn't help but laugh at her own bad joke.

That class and the ones that followed went smoothly, but Harry's nod on the way out of class, the one that silently told her later, soon, kept her just a touch on edge. Like a favorite song playing in the background but in another room, so you know the tune, but aren't sure you're on the right verse, timing off.

When she got to her office after her introductory three classes, she couldn't sit down. Jo was so amped she felt like there were tacks covering her chair and she couldn't balance her weight right. She straightened papers and her shirt, fiddled with her buttons, sat down and stood up.

Jo laughed aloud as herself when she pulled out her phone and popped open the camera to check her lipstick. "C'mon, Jo! He's seen you naked, stop fussing about."

The full thud on the thick wooden door sounded in the air and she knew it was Harry, just from the clipped sound of the knock. She may as well have been waiting for Santa. This felt like a Christmas morning six months late.

Jo didn't answer the door, but called, "Come in."

And he did, with a bright grin and an expectant air, like he knew he'd done wrong and couldn't wait for his paddling.

"Hi Professor!"

"You're an ass!" Jo said with a shake of her head and a smile that bubbled up like life vest in a river. She felt like she had gone overboard, that was for sure.

"I told you I would see you soon." He came and sat across from her and the drag of his chair came just before the bump of his knees up against her desk. It squeaked and their twin winces brought paired laughs.

"You weren't on my roster Saturday morning?" she questioned.

"I know, but when I was laying on your lovely backside on Sunday during nap time I was thinking how fun you are to watch in front of a crowd of people and that I could learn to tune out comments about how hot you are if I just focused on how lukewarm they are compared to the real thing." He steepled his hands on her desk. "Plus I figured my plan worked so well last semester that I'd keep up the full court press and see what I could get for my persistence. Maybe a First!"

"Maybe a kick in the arse!" She smiled despite what a menace he was.

"I'd rather have a swat, but will you wear heels when you kick me? Cuz it might change my mind?" He laid his hand flat on the desk and pulled hers forward.

"Did you just come in here to gloat and flirt?" Jo flipped her hand up under his to feel the geography of his palm against her own. The rivers and tributaries of his laugh and love lines notched into her own.

"Well, mostly, I came in because I missed your face and I was trying to think how to draw your nose and figured it was best to see my model up close and personal." He winked one eye then the other for extra cheese.

"You're drawing me?" He didn't really draw faces. Yet.

He colored then. "Kinda, we're doing perspective and I'm doing David and Bathsheba, thought she should have your face."

"From the Bible?"

"Yeah, you know, he sees her bathing on the roof and decides to send her husband to his death because he wants her so bad. Has to make her his." He leaned deep across the desk and looked up through his lashes like a femme fatale at her cracked mouthed face. "Figured she must look like you."

"I'm not sure that's a compliment." But she thought he meant it as one.

"It was either that or Helen of Troy, figured rooftops were better for perspective painting. Suppose I could have drawn you on a tower in Ilium launching a thousand ships." He lay his head to the side. "But you wouldn't be topless in that scenario."

"You have my schnoz memorized then?" She squeezed his hand and realized they were still touching, always and that was a strange form of magnetism they needed to watch.

"It was an excuse, I have all of you memorized." He leaned in to kiss her and she pulled back.

"No, not at school."

"Well, can I come over tonight then?" Harry was not to be allayed.

Jo thought over her evening and couldn't think of a single reason he couldn't or why she didn't want him to. "If you want to."

"I always want to." He squeezed her hand and released it.

Jo nodded, she knew the feeling. And it increased when she watched the long line of his back get farther from her. She wondered if he would let her take a picture of it. It reminded her of a tree. Maybe she could draw a lone man facing away one time, and the beat could be branches he was pulled from, organic and strong but flexible. Productive.

But she wanted to see his face and she didn't want either of them to be alone and they were maybe best together.

"Har-Harry" Jo called and was moving toward him before he got the door open.

He stopped one foot mid stride and looked over his shoulder at that green light.

He caught her when she made it to him and picked her up at her low back. Harry made a half-revolution and pressed her to the door of her office. She could hear the rattle of the shutters and smell the dust coming off them. Guess the janitors had been neglecting those.

That smell was quickly replaced with the smell of Harry. Jo loved that there was always an under layer of paint and other art things under his cologne. It had gotten so bad that she went into her studio just to get a fix before bed last night. Then she buried her nose into the pillow they shared. Jo was sure they had fallen asleep lying next to each other. But they had woken up Sunday morning facing each other, her hand shoved beneath her cheek, one of his arms around her waist, a long leg, with more thigh muscle than expected, shoved between her legs and both of their heads on her pillow. Her eyes had blinked open and he'd been staring at her.

"Knew you were almost conscious. Your eyelids flutter." His voice in the morning, god she loved the way his unused vocal chords struggled over his first few words. Jo wanted to record him saying her name first thing as his ringtone. That would have been a horrible idea and made her day every time he called too.

Jo opened her eyes into the kiss they were currently sharing and thought about his taste too. If she loved his smell and sound, his taste lingered on her tongue like garlic. Hours after a kiss, she was still tasting him. But instead of reaching for her toothbrush, she was relishing it. It didn't hurt that he was an avid, forceful gum chewer. So the flavor of his tongue was pleasant. Though it had nothing on the motion.

Harry had just finished licking the inside of her bottom lip and she knew he was going to go for a deeper caress based on the slant of his head. His kisses made her crazy.

So crazy, her thigh was coming up over his hip, and it took the rattle of the blinds in her ear and thud of her hips on the wood of the door to remind her where they were and how conspicuous their hook up was. Maybe on her desk was smarter than loudly against her door.

Even this thought apparently had not burst the bubble they blew and floated around in starting Friday, she gasped when he migrated to kissing her chin and nibbling her jawline. Jo knew that she was gonna have to pop soon, especially if he got to her neck, or this was not gonna end until they were both floating in the atmosphere on clouds made of their exhales.

"Baby!" She heard herself say and wanted to take it back but it did seem to prick the fragile skin of their bubble, though it seemed to inflate Harry.

He pulled back and stared at her wide eyed and Jo bit her lip. "Yeah, baby?" He couldn't suppress his smile, even when he folded his pink lips in to hide it.

"We can't do this her—"

"We just did, baby!" He's fucking smirked now and she wanted to smack it off his face. Jo unhitched her thigh from him and gently sat her foot back on the floor.

"Well, idiot, it's loud. The blinds rattle and you were about to get to a honey spot," he raised his eyebrows at her. "And you know it, so you gotta go, because you are a menace and I can't control myself around you."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Jo felt like he'd changed their cheeky exchange on a pound coin. Her answer was suddenly worth more.

He'd kept his hands at her waist and he pressed his forehead to hers. "Why can't you control yourself around me? Why do you want to?"

"C-cuz, I..." because they were in dangerous waters, full sharks or at least big waves that were likely to take them under.

"Don't Jo. Let's not be careful. Let's be more." And he went to open the door. "I'll see you tonight?" He said with a huge grin full of white teeth, his canines a shade darker, and deep dimples and bright eyes. Jo gave him a full force smile right back. Couldn't help herself. Though she felt like they'd skipped an important step, or opportunity, or conversation here.

"Yeah, tonight, Mr. Styles." She remembered her door was open and tried to be a bit more professional, but it came out like a pastry where her professionalism was layered with flirtation and maybe innuendo and Harry loved the creamy bits because he bit his lip.

"Goodbye Professor." He said in his lowest voice, the place that registered beneath her sternum and deep in her belly.

Jo nodded, it was what she could manage and watched him walk away. He turned a corner and she found her breath and found Professor McStruppins looking at her with an arched brow.

"Professor." Jo nodded.

"Professor?" Victoria tilted her head in question and Jo lost the breath she had just recovered before scuttling back into her office like a crab to its hidey hole.

Shit, what was that? How long had she been there? Had she heard the blinds? Or the giggles? Or more? Was she just responding to their flirty goodbye? The words weren't bad, but the tones were obvious.

This. This is why she needed to control herself. It was well and good to be reckless in Liverpool or under some damn tree in a field, or even beneath him in the privacy of her home or his studio. But, this had to end. They couldn't carry on like this.

They could not be more, no matter how real or big it was. Not like this.