WHO I REALLY AM

(A How To Train Your Dragon Fanfiction)

By: Astrid Camicazi N. Hofferson

Summary: Astrid Hofferson, shieldmaiden of Berk and second-in-command of the dragon riders, swears to tell everything to her betrothed, Hiccup Haddock, even secrets. She tells him everything, except for one. Will Hiccup still accept her after finding out the truth? (This story is set in the "Race to the Edge" timeline)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON.

A/N: English isn't my first language so please bear with me. Constructive criticisms are pretty much appreciated.

- HTTYD-

VIII

EXPLANATIONS

HICCUP AND ASTRID are waiting for concrete answers from their friends. But seeing them in their current position, they have deduced that they need to get up first, so they have helped them stand up. When they did, the couple raised their eyebrows, continuing to question them. There was a short moment of silence until the Twins decided to break it with their signature dopey grins, and Ruffnut spoke up.

"What else? Don't you two pretend that you didn't notice. Of course, we are eavesdropping. Isn't it obvious?"

"And why would you do that?" Hiccup asked.

"Listen here, my one-legged friend. We are very curious. Well, it's not like we haven't figured out what's going with you two. We aren't dumb.. We just wanted to know what caused that. Whether it is a third party, a misunderstanding, or..." Tuffnut explained to them calmly with matching hand gestures, but Astrid cuts him off.

"And that is your business, because?"

Astrid asked the others. She has gritted her teeth a bit, meaning she's already annoyed with their antics.

"Because we needed to know what's wrong with you two. We are your friends. We are a team, gang, and family. If you have problems, we are definitely here to help. You just needed to tell us everything, truthfully."Fishlegs finally butted in. And the others nodded in agreement with him.

Trying to stop the argument, Hiccup told them reassuringly, "It doesn't matter anymore. We already fixed that issue in our relationship. You don't really have to worry about it."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter," Ruffnut said sarcastically, rolling her eyes."But that's one thing that really does."

"And what do you think it is, Ruff?" Astrid asked nonchalantly.

"Since we are good at eavesdropping, we heard about your secret-everything about it," Tuffnut spoke up for her sister.

Hearing this, Astrid gulped, while Hiccup seemed nervous. But they tried their best to hide that.

"What secret? We don't have a secret, right, babe?" she said innocently with a light chuckle as she looked at her boyfriend.

"No, of course. Um... we h-have nothing to hide. You know us guys," he stuttered.

"Drop the act and stop playing innocent, you two. Especially you, Astrid, or shall I say Camicazi?" Snotlout sneered.

Astrid was at a loss for words, as was Hiccup. They can't say anything in defense because what Snotlout is saying is true.

"Now you have nothing to say for yourself, huh?"

"How long would you plan to keep it from us, your friends?"

"I thought we were family."

"If Hiccup didn't follow you, he wouldn't know. If we didn't eavesdrop, we wouldn't either."

"We trusted the both of you."

"We deserve an explanation."

With these simultaneous statements from their friends, Astrid miraculously felt tears start filling her eyes. Though she did her best to conceal it, it doesn't stop

it from flowing. Hiccup started comforting her by running her back, and they decided to stop their friends from hurting her much further.

"Enough, all of you!" he exclaimed. His voice was booming all over, almost as loud as his father's voice."Stop forcing her into telling you everything!"

"Look who spoke up." Ruffnut snorted, her hands crossed on her chest.

"Hiccup, stop. They're right." Astrid finally spoke up, wiping her flowing tears and a bit sniffing." I owe everyone of you an explanation."

"Glad you know," Tuffnut said.

"Now, Astrid,start explaining," Snotlout commanded.

"I will," she said, nodding. But then-

"Not here, Astrid," Hiccup said.

"Umm, guys? How about the Clubhouse? Sounds good,right?" Fishlegs suggested. And luckily, no one objected. So, they decided to go to the clubhouse and start hearing Astrid's explanation.

oOo

"So, start explaining Astrid or Camicazi, whatever YOU like to be called," Snotlout commanded, pointing a finger at Astrid.

"Uhh... I know you guys are disappointed in me because of what happened," Astrid said as she looked around them.

"Disappointed is definitely an understatement," Tuffnut stated, raising his index finger to show that what he was saying was matter of fact.

"I didn't actually plan to tell you guys this. Because it is a family secret and very..." Astrid continued, but Ruffnut interrupted, obviously with a hint of hurt and disappointment in her voice.

"But we are family. We all said that before, though you decided to keep the secret yourself."

"Would you please shut up and listen to her?" Fishlegs said.

"Thanks, Fishlegs."Astrid thanked him."Anyway, you are right. We are family. I shouldn't have kept that from you. I am just scared that maybe you will treat me differently if you know the truth."

"Why would we be? You know we won't judge you," Tuffnut said.

"You? Scared? Pshaw! Don't expect us to believe that. You are 'Fearless' Astrid Hofferson!" Snotlout seconded.

"No. I am just a normal person, and that's just a persona. Though my family is entitled to fearlessness, I still have fear. But we should be able to control it and definitely surpass it," Astrid answered.

"Okay, we understand. Care to fill us in on how you are a Hooligan at the same time as a Bog-heir?" Fishlegs asked.

"Guys, please don't force her to tell you," Hiccup pleaded while waving his hand dismissively.

"No, Hiccup. I guess it is time. You heard them, and you also said that we are family. So we need to trust each other about things," says Astrid.

Hiccup nodded in agreement, and Astrid started to explain, or more likely, answer Fishlegs' question.

"My real father, Harild Hofferson, a Hooligan warrior and one of Stoick's trusted men, met my mother at the Thing."

"Thing*?" Tuffnut asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It is the meeting of the different tribes. Before, the topics were mostly dragon raids and Berserker, Outcast," Fishlegs heartily answered but was cut off by Snotlout.

"It's fine. We already get the idea." Snotlout scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"As I am saying, he met my mother, Big-Boobied Bertha,at the Thing. They fell in love and got married. You get the point." Astrid continued.

"How is it possible that a Bog-Burglar can marry a Hooligan? Bog-Burglars are an all-female tribe," Ruffnut asked.

"It is. And contrary to popular belief, Bog-Burglars aren't all female. Splash's citizens are mostly low-male and married, but mostly Bog women are maidens," Astrid answered.

"If your mother and father are married, how come you became the heir of Bog-Burglars?" Tuffnut curiously asked.

"Mother was the heir at that time, but when he married my father, they decided to live on Berk. At that time, raids by humans and dragons were getting worse. My father was killed in a raid. Making my mother a widow, she decided to go back to Splash with me and raise me there. But unfortunately, things that we never expected are bound to happen."

Now that they have heard her statement or explanation, they already understand Astrid's situation and feel a bit of sympathy for her loss.

"We're sorry for your loss."

"No. It's fine. I'm the one who should make an apology. It is wrong to hide my secret from you, guys. Fear just ate me up and I don't know what to do.I am sorry. I hope you forgive me," she said.

"Apology accepted, A. Hoff," says Tuffnut.

"You are already forgiven, Astrid Camicazi," Snotlout declared.

Fishlegs just smiled, as did Hiccup. And finally, Ruffnut, who is a bit more expressive of her feelings than usual, stood up and walked to where Astrid was sitting. Then she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder and started to speak.

"Maybe in the near future, I will fully forgive you, Astrid. But I consider you my BFF. And with this, I felt betrayed."

"Hey! I thought I am your BFF," the male twin protested. Ruffnut just ignored him. Hiccup has his head face palmed. While Snotlout started to whisper something to Fishlegs.

"I never expected Ruffnut to be dramatic," said Snotlout in a whisper.

"Me too. Do you know about this?" Fishlegs asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tuffnut deadpanned.

"But then, there are wounds. After a long time, they will heal and become scars. And those scars will be a reminder that no matter how long the time has passed, there was once agony and pain that will be remembered from the said scar." Ruffnut continued.

Astrid just listened to Ruffnut's words. And she understood what her friend was feeling at this moment.

"Also, you are like a sister to me, Ast. And I can't resist to forgive you like I said. Not whole, but now." Ruff finished and smiled at her.

"Thank you, everyone. And I promise, no more secrets," Astrid told them.

"So, GROUP HUG!"

They hugged each other and broke apart after a few moments.

"Enough with the drama. I'm hungry," said Snotlout, his stomach grumbling.

The others laughed at this statement. They prepared a special dinner for themselves to celebrate their friendship, their renewed trust with each other, and their stronger bonds. It is true that they definitely enjoyed the moment while it lasted, despite everything that happened. Their bonds are stronger than the storms and misunderstandings that they have or will face.

-HTTYD-

*Thing-meeting of the Tribes of the Barbaric Archipelago. [Source: How To Train Your Dragon Book Series(from what I have read it is in book #5 entitled How To Twist A Dragon's Tale) by Cressida Cowell]

Originally Published: May 11, 2019

Updated: February 20, 2024