AOI

PRESENT DAY

I found myself waking up late in the morning. It felt odd because I usually wake up at 5 AM, but I had never slept so peacefully like this for such a long time.

Shin visited me in my dreams, but I couldn't remember most of it, except when I greeted him for his birthday today and him giving me a kiss on the cheek in reply.

Thinking about it made my hand touch my right cheek. When did Shin kiss me on the cheek? He usually kisses me on the forehead.

Well, dreams don't have to be accurate all the time.

At least I got to greet him, even if it was just in my dreams.

I sat up, and looked around. There was no sign of Shou-kun. My trick worked for him. That's good. Although he shouldn't get flustered that easily. What would Yaoyorozu think? Anyways, I should change clothes.

I got up and started changing. The pastel colored clothes still hurt my eyes so I picked a black shirt and paired it with black denim shorts. Then I tied my long hair in a loose ponytail and rested it on my left shoulder.

When I got out of my room, I saw Shou-kun sitting by the little coffee table. He flashed a gentle smile.

"Good morning." He greeted.

"Good morning." I replied nonchalantly.

"Sit down first. I've already cooked pancakes." He stood up and went to the kitchen counter.

I sat down by the coffee table, across to where he sat. He came back quickly while holding two plates of three pancakes stacked ontop of each other topped with butter and glazed with maple syrup. He placed one infront of me and the other in front of him. With my command, our personal chopsticks flew towards us and landed on the sides of our table.

We clasped our hands in a praying manner together,

"Itadakimasu."

Then we started eating quietly. I'm used to this silence. In fact, it made me glad that he did not mention anything regarding yesterday and acted as if nothing happened. It's better this way. I don't want to get worked up about it again, especially on Shin's birthday.

...

.....

........

That's only if he stops staring at me.

I looked at him, hoping he'd look away but he didn't. Shou-kun didn't even flinch. He was staring at me deeply while lost in his own thoughts.

"Can you please stop staring?"

His gray and turquoise eyes who were dazing at me looked straight to my eyes. I sucked my breath. Why is he staring at me like that?

"Aoi,"

"What?!" I didn't mean to raise my voice but I didn't want to apologize either.

"What if I chose you?"

"Huh?"

I must still be half-asleep. That's why I heard it wrong.

"What did you say?" I asked him.

With the same longing look, he responded, "What if I chose you?"

If my mind stopped a while ago, it's my heart that stopped now.

What is he talking about? Why is he saying this now? What does this mean? Chose me?

"What if you chose me for what?"

Don't say it. Tell me something different.

Prove me wrong.

"What if I chose you instead of Yaoyorozu?"

When I returned to my senses, the coffee table we used had already punctured the ceiling. I felt so shocked that I lost control for a moment. I felt relieved that I got my senses back. I should leave before I lose control of my emotions again.

I got up to my feet.

"Shou-kun... You must be ill, right now ."

"No, I'm perfectly fine."

"No, you're not. You're confused."

"Aoi, wait."

I didn't wait. I didn't want to wait. My feet ran towards the front door and I went outside.

A hand grabbed my wrist. I tried to pull it back but he yanked it harder. I felt his chest against my back. His other hand grabbed my free hand.

Then he wrapped his arms around me from the back while grabbing my right wrist and left hand. Because of this, my arms were crossed between my body and his arms. I tried to break away and fight back but he was too strong for me.

"Let me go! Let me go, Shou-kun..!"

"No. I can't let you go. I won't let you go. I don't want to let you go anymore"

His voice was just behind my right ear. He's too close for me to bear. My heart won't stop pounding.

I need to get away. I have to get away.

With my plea, the wind started blowing strongly. The wooden porch started breaking apart.

My chest felt heavy with guilt. I didn't want to destroy the house, but the need of getting away from him was stronger.

"Let. Me. Go!"

The entire front porch broke into pieces. The grasses of the front law flew in the air, uprooting themselves.

"Never!"

"Why?!"

I curled my body down as my legs lost its strength. I fell on my knees, yet he still didn't let me go.

Why won't he let me go? Why? He pushed me away? He hates me. It was all my fault that everything happened. Everything happened because I was born. Misfortune fell upon the one he truly loves because of me. It was supposed to be me! He never loved me.

"Shou-kun, you never loved me!"

"Then let me learn to love you..!"

Huh?

Learn?

Love?

Why do you want to learn? Just stop this! Stop this please.

I've had enough.

I don't want this anymore.

I don't deserve love.

Please just stop...

"Let me love you, Aoi." His soft voice pleading close to my right ear made me feel like time has stopped moving.

No.

It's a lie.

"I want to love you, Kiseki Aoi."

You can't love me.

I can't be loved.

"Aoi."

No...

No...

He gently turned my body to face him. He squeezed my right hand with both of his hands.

"Aoi, please..." He sounded so desperate.

But you didn't love me. You...pushed me away.

He kissed the back of my right hand and looked straight to my eyes.

"Please." He pleaded once again.

My head slowly shook side to side.

Shou-kun touched my right elbow and kissed it.

"Give me a chance."

I could hear the pieces of wood falling to the ground.

I can't give him a chance. I can't!

This time, he kissed my right shoulder. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Let me make it right."

No, this isn't right!

You're only saying this because Yaoyorozu is not here. But when she comes back,

When she comes back, you'll choose her.

You should choose her.

Choose her not me!

Shou-kun kissed my cheek.

"Aoi..."

He held both of my cheeks.

"You're the one I want to love."

He moved his face closer.

No, refuse Aoi.

Say something.

Push him away

Escape

Run away

Why aren't you doing anything!?

Why are you closing your eyes?

Why are you letting him kiss you?

Why do you still love him?