SHOUTO

PRESENT TIME

"Are you done?" Aoi asked, snapping me back to reality.

I felt my face heating up. How long was I staring at her.

She took a step closer. Her hands held both of my cheeks. Out of instinct, I took a step back.

Her foot took another step, and I took a step again.

"A-Aoi?" I stuttered. Her magnetic golden eyes were gazing at the lower part of my face.

She couldn't be staring at my lips. She hates me. She loathes me. What is she doing?

I felt her thumb gently pressing my lower lip. My eyes saw her biting her own lower lip. I backed away several steps further from her. She didn't follow me.

My chest was pounding. My breathing turned ragged. What was that all of a sudden? What are you doing, Aoi? I looked at her and she only smiled at me.

Then she slid the door closed.

It was then that I realized she tricked me.

Damn..!

I punched the nearest wall.

~*~

Inside my room, I finished writing the daily report for today. I shut the laptop off and closed it. Then I leaned my back on the wall.

Today was a mess, and it was my fault. I really shouldn't have said that. Kuroiwa was a very close friend to her. He was the closest person to Aoi. He gave her the love that she wanted from me. He was the one who stayed with her when I abandoned her. He was always there.

And yet I insulted him.

A sigh escaped from my lips.

I should properly apologize. She was too angry to listen to me before, to the point of tricking me to leave her room. Hopefully, she had already calmed down.

After I stood up, I took the keys out of the drawer and walked to Aoi's room. It was locked as I had expected, so I inserted the key and unlocked the door.

As I carefully slid the door open, I saw her leaning at the left corner of her room. I silently entered and closed the door.

Her pale blue hair that reflected the moonlight's glow was swaying gently along the breeze coming from the open window near her. In her arms, was the familiar sword. She said that it makes her calm down. Seeing the peaceful look in her face, it made me believe that it does calm her.

Making sure I was silent, I prepared her futon. After that, I walked my way closer to her. Then, I knelt down on one knee.

"Aoi." I softly called her name. "Aoi, you shouldn't sleep like that."

She didn't react, and continued to sleep. Reluctantly, I reached out my hand to her shoulder. Her eyelids twitched, then fluttered open.

I held my breath as I saw her gorgeous golden eyes reflecting the moonlight's shine. Her sleepy eyes looked around, to the surroundings, to her shoulder then finally to me. Aoi paused for a moment.

Then she gave a smile and I could feel myself melting down. She looked so happy.

"You're here." Her voice was soft and sleepy, but it didn't hide the happiness she felt." Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming."

"What are you doing here Shin?"

I felt like I've been stabbed by swords a hundred times all over again.

She must be half-asleep. Of course. Aoi hates me. She would never give a smile as warm as that to me.

"Did you come here for me? Don't worry, I'm fine. We're just waiting for the villains to come and get me, but they still haven't made their move yet. Once I finish putting up all the pieces together, I'll make a move myself so that they'll notice my whereabouts."

"This plan. Isn't it dangerous?" I asked her.

"I know but we can't save her if we won't do this."

I gritted my teeth. I wanted to persuade her to stop this but she might realize that I'm not Kuroiwa. She would get angry again once that happens. Telling her that I'm not Kuroiwa is the most logical thing to do.

But she looks so happy right now. I couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment once she finds out. I should just let her dream.

There was a question running inside my mind though.

"Aoi,"

"Yes?" She smiled warmly again.

"Why did you not choose me?"

Aoi paused for a moment, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"..huh?"

"Why didn't you choose me? I was always there for you."

"..haha" Aoi broke a laugh, and she started giggling.

"What kind of a joke is that Shin, have you forgotten?"

Forgotten what? It's true. I'm sure that Kuroiwa had feelings for Aoi, so what is she talking about.

"You didn't choose me remember? You and Shou-kun didn't choose me."

It was my turn to pause.

"That's how unlovable I am. I know you care for me, but there's no way you had romantic feelings for me."

"...I must have forgotten."

"How stupid. Hahaha" Aoi continued to laugh more.

"You say you know everything but you know what?" Aoi uttered, leaning against her sword. She was catching her breath. "You're wrong about one thing, Shin."

"What is it?"

"You believe that Shou-kun actually loves me, but he doesn't."

I didn't know what to react.

"Everything, up until now was only out of guilt, but he never..." Aoi choked. "He never loved me. He never chose me."

Tears started to pool in her eyes. She was looking out of the window.

"And I feel so stupid because up until now... I still."

"Don't."

Please Aoi.

"I still..."

"Don't say it."

"I still love him."

Aoi covered her face. I wanna kill myself, right now. Why? Why Aoi?

"Why? Why do you still love him?"

"I don't know. I hate myself for loving him right now. I know he will never choose me. I spent my life training myself to protect him but he only abandoned me."

Protect?

"I trained so hard to protect him but he pushed me away. I tried to push the engagement as an excuse to protect him but he still pushed me away. I tried to become a better hero for myself but in the end, I keep coming back to him. I'm so stupid! I feel so stupid, Shin I..."

"I wish I didn't fall inlove with him..!"

Aoi cried so hard. She was crying like there was no tomorrow. It felt like she had been bottling up these emotions as soon as she knew the whole story. I had seen her cry before but it felt like the first time. It was breaking me apart.

Her tears were shattering me into pieces.

I didn't know. I never knew. All I thought about was how selfish she was. I never knew it was all because of me.

I recalled Kuroiwa yelling at me about how Aoi sacrificed everything for me, but I never understood what it meant. 

Aoi's sobs were piercing through my heart. All these years, I had never seen it. I had never once looked at her.

I wish I did.

I found myself embracing her fragile body.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I...I'm so sorry."

My voice cracked. I found myself choking my words. Tears started streaming down my face.

"I'm really sorry, Aoi... I'm so sorry... I'm so..."

She pulled away from me. Her hands held both sides of my face and her both of her thumb were wiping my tears.

"Don't cry, Shin. It's not your fault. It was never your fault." She smiled at me ever so beautifully despite the tears on her face. However, that smile of her was breaking me apart more.

I wanted to tell her that I was not Kuroiwa, that I am Todoroki Shouto and I regretted the decisions I made. I wanted to say that I should never have pushed her away.

But I couldn't...

"Don't worry, Shin. We'll come and save both of you."

I held Aoi's left hand with my right one, while wiping her tears with other hand.

"I'll wait for you." I smiled at her. She smiled warmly again. "Now, let me take you to your futon. You should at least sleep properly."

Aoi left her sword and embraced me as I carried her like a princess to her futon, tucking her in and pulling the covers up to her chest. 

"Good night, my princess."

"Shin," She grabbed my hand when I was about to get up and leave.

"Yes?"

She gave another warm smile.

"Happy Birthday."

It took me a full minute to react to the situation, but I manage to smile.

"Thank you, now go to sleep."

Then I gave her a kiss on her cheek.