August 31, 1994

**Lani POV**

The 20 minute drive it took to get home was one of the longest ones of my life. I've been sitting in the parking lot of my apartment building paralyzed by everything that's just happened. What the fuck happened back there?!

I didn't know what to do with myself...or with the information provided to me by the mystery woman. Somehow despite the woman's snarky nature, I sensed she was telling the truth... her version of it anyway...but it still didn't make sense to me. How could I manage to be so wrong about someone?! I really thought he cared about me...

One glance in the rearview mirror only managed to confirm what I'd already suspected...mascara tracks were lining my cheeks with silent tears, even as I was internally fuming. It's only been a week dammit! How could he just move on that quickly?!

Maybe he was like this all along and I was simply deluding myself. But he always seemed so sincere...just goes to show what I know. You'd think after everything that happened with Alika I'd know better, but nooo...

Instead I ran all the way here...only to give my heart away to someone I barely knew. I knew better, but I went against my own better judgment and did it anyway. Fuck me...and from now on, fuck love!

I slam my open palm against my steering wheel in frustration, as I let out a blood curdling scream.

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When I finally got inside my apartment, my first stop was his room. The only way I could deal with any of this was to clean out any evidence of him from my apartment. He's already moved on, so I should too.

It's clear he's already forgotten all about me, and while he might not be out of my heart...at least I can get him the hell out of my apartment!

I storm directly over to the closet where I so painstakingly adjusted his clothing earlier, when I was still eagerly anticipating his eventual return. With two garbage bags in my hand, I shook my head sadly before letting out a deep, regretful sigh.

As I take one final look at the clothing I spent hours choosing just for him, I find myself momentarily lost in the memory of happier times...

"What are you looking for mama?" he inquires, excitement lighting up his golden eyes.

I keep rooting through all the bags surrounding us that we've just carried in, intent on finding the one item I just couldn't resist adding to an ever growing clothing collection that took me all afternoon to put together. Eventually I manage to find just what I'm looking for, and pull out a newly polished pair of cowboy boots...complete with spurs, in just his size. "This!" I respond teasingly, meeting his eyes with a mischievous grin. "What do you think?"

"Wow...those look great! I'll try them on later," he replies, meeting my gaze with a playful grin.

You know...I never did get to see him wear those....

Suddenly my new reality overtakes me once again, and I start berating myself for my momentary lapse in judgment. Tears are silently tracking down my cheeks, eventually dripping from my chin and onto the clothes I didn't even realize I'd been clutching tightly to my chest. Get it together, Lani! It was all an act! Who knows...maybe he was messing with me all along! Memory loss my ass!

With newfound determination and frustration, I angrily shove the clothing I'm still grasping in my right hand directly into the garbage bag, and start reaching into the closet for the rest...intent on ridding my apartment of all traces of him. Out of sight, out of mind...

However...midway through the process, my eyes catch sight of the ring still adorning my left ring finger and I once again start second guessing myself... feeling the weight of everything I've lost. Could it really have all been an act? Would he really lie about something this important? That just doesn't seem like the man I thought I knew...

But just as I start feeling sorry for myself, and start to regret leaving before I ever even gave him a chance to explain himself, I remember the look on the mystery woman's face as she was trying to furtively escape into the night. You just can't fake a look like that...

That's just it. I thought I knew him! It's clear I didn't really know him at all. It seems there were at least two of us! How many more could there be?! 1? 5? 10? Why do I even still care?!

Caught up in an emotional whirlwind, face red with fury, embarrassment, and humiliation...but my eyes still leaking with tears, I tearfully hissed out, "You bastard!" even as I reached over, yanked off the beautiful symbol of his promise to me, tossing it across the room, directly into a nearby wall. I felt a brief moment of satisfaction as I heard an audible ping! with the ring hitting its desired target before rolling away to parts unknown. Good riddance...

After that, everything happened as though I was in slow motion. It almost felt like a near death experience, as I suddenly had a clear view of myself angrily grabbing the bag full of his clothes and with tears of sadness and anger rolling down my cheeks, I heaved it across the room with a silent scream.

In fact, at that point I couldn't seem to stop screaming...at least until I heard what I thought sounded like music coming from somewhere nearby. What the...? Have I just died and gone to hell?

Against my own will, my feet start taking me in the direction the music appears to be coming from...the hallway. I make it all the way to the front door...confusion, anger, sadness, embarrassment, defeat, not to mention sheer exhaustion written all over my face, only to hear a light knock followed by a soft baritone voice I'd know anywhere calling out in a gentle tone before his fingers continued to play. "Lani? Mama, are you there?" What are you doing here?

**Author's Note: I know you all were probably hoping for a full chapter, but given the overall somber tone of this week, coupled with me feeling overworked and just not feeling in the right head space to work out the rest of the chapter atm I decided to break things into two mini chapters because it's been about two weeks since I last updated and I wanted to give you all a little something. I will try to get the second half of this chapter out as soon as I'm feeling it...hopefully within the week so that I can get back working on Rags. ;) **