___________________________________________________________________________

Lol I wrote this sad oneshot while listening to Heather by Conan Gray on loop at midnight haha, I'd recommend listening to it while reading this, as there are heavy references! It's a great song, but I can't listen to music and write at the same time so I apologize in advance for any errors. Also, Nine_Kinnie noticed me omg their books are great   •///• aaaaaaaaaa

Mom, I think I'm famous nowwwww

___________________________________________________________________________

He loves her.

Not you.

You could tell, he was in love with her, even if he didn't know it himself. The way he smiled as she looked at him, the way he would make excuses to loop his arm around her shoulder, the way he reacted whenever she held his hand; it was obvious.

Girlfriend and Boyfriend had realized they developed feelings for others, Boyfriend falling for Pico while Girlfriend left her romantic interest unnamed, despite you knowing who it was. But they still continued their relationship, still being too attached to each other to ever break up, and thus, a love triangle was created.

Actually,,,

Perhaps it was a love square.

Yes, that seemed all the more accurate. Girlfriend and Whitty clearly shared mutual affection, even though neither of them would admit to it.

It wasn't fair.

Although you were fully aware as to how unfair the world was, this felt the most unbearable out of all the things you've experienced before. Having to grin and bear it as they hug so as not to arouse suspicion, having to watch as he wraps his arms around her as you grow cold, being forced to bite your tongue while walking alone with him through his favorite alleys, desperately longing to confess, though refraining from doing so in knowing that you'll be met by the cruel knife of a one sided affair.

And it hurt. It hurt to know that he would be laughing with her while you were blending in with the background as the group continued forward. It hurt to sit next to him during group outings, only being able to watch as her appeal steals away his gaze, ripping it mercilessly away from you. It hurt to know that every time he sent you a smile, he did the very same thing for her more than doubly that amount.

You could recall oh so many times that brought forth such a strong onslaught of negative emotions, though one specific instance you'd never forget had been the third of December, just a few months ago.

It was a late night, the gang having decided to go their separate ways before meeting back up at the skate park, where they would regather and head off to a restaurant together. Pico, Girlfriend and Boyfriend had ventured off to start some rap battles with any and all strangers they came across, though that hadn't been up to your speed. Instead you and Whitty had simply waited together at the park, alone together.

You had been sitting together, perched at the top of the half pipe, the moon shining down from above and coating everything in a faint periwinkle glow. You had made him smile so many times that night, telling humorous stories and jokes just to see that gorgeous grin of his. He, of all people, deserved happiness, he'd been through so much. You couldn't help but wish the best for him.

You had pulled your legs up to your chest, your arms wrapped tightly around them as you attempted to hold onto the little heat you had accumulated, the little heat that hadn't been stolen away from you by the chilly winds.

You could still describe the look on his face as he glanced down at you, his expression growing soft as he sat up straighter, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket.

Soon enough, his large hoodie had been draped around your small body, engulfing you comfortably. He had wound one of his arms around your shoulders, his face growing slightly warm as he leaned against you, his eyelids beginning to droop. Not from exhaustion, but from the feel of the situation.

"Oh, t-thanks, you didn't have to." You had stuttered out, rapidly beginning to process what was happening.

¤ You're colder than I am, it's fine. Besides, it looks better on you. ¤ He responded, sighing softly.

At the time, you were foolish enough to believe him. Your face was entirely flushed, barely being able to shake your head at him as you slipped your arms into the sleeves of the oversized outerwear and fully enjoyed his embrace. He was so incredibly warm, and although the butterflies in your stomach grew worse, the feeling was more than wonderful. You wished he knew how you felt, you had thought.

Gathering up the little courage you currently had, you tugged gently on the hem of his shirt, drawing his attention. No better time to tell him than now, you had thought.

And that's when you saw it.

The sound of heels clacking on the pavement stole his gaze, his eyes trailing over to the entrance of the skate park, where Girlfriend, Boyfriend, and Pico were steadily approaching.

You had never seen his face turn more red in the entire time you knew him, aside from the times in which he exploded. You noticed how quickly he jumped down, speedily making his way over to them, rubbing the back of his neck out of obvious embarrassment.

And that event, of which nearly broke your heart, was only the beginning.

Soon enough, they were spending more time together. They would laugh together, joke together, leave the group together, in the manner that you two used to do. Whenever the gang had gone for an outing, they were never far apart, taking lead together as you began to blend into the background. The only difference was that they seemed to be having more fun than when he was with you.

The pain only intensified.

After some time, you decided to return his jacket. Getting rid of things that brought the pain was essential to getting over your feelings, and the jacket only reminded you of him. You thought that you were making progress, until once again, his sweater had disappeared, forcing him to buy a new one.

Why?

He gave it to her.

And as much as you loathed the unfairness of the situation, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. She was beautiful, a sight for sore eyes, and her personality wasn't far behind. Girlfriend had been your best friend for so long now, supporting you through all your hardships, encouraging you when you felt down, and stood up for you when others belittled you.  Hating her was impossible, she was such an angel, and did nothing wrong. Though rarely, you did kind of wish she were dead, but that's not same as hatred, right?

Hopefully not.

The sound of hearing your name called was what snapped you back to the present, being voiced by none other than the bomb himself, standing before you.

Once again, you two were on the half pipe in the skate park, alone with only the chirping crickets and the setting sun. Concern was written all over his features, waving a hand in front of your face, keeping the other behind his back. You immediately plastered on a smile, looking up at him in confusion, masking your emotions once more.

He noticed instantly.

¤ Y/n? Are you alright? You don't look so good.¤ He questioned, bending down a bit to take a closer look at you.

You nodded, teasingly pushing his face back, making him stand straight again. The poor man was ruining his posture by always leaning down.

"Ouch, gee thanks Whits, you look amazing too. And I'm fine, why?" You grinned, jokingly punching his arm, sending back a slightly sarcastic remark.

The worry on his face didn't waver, not even for a moment. If anything, it grew.

¤ You know what I mean, really, are you okay? You haven't seemed like yourself lately, and it kind of feels like, I don't know, you've been avoiding me? ¤ He continued, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

You bit your lip, your smile growing more and more forced by the minute, breaking eye contact and instead shifting your gaze to the floor.

"Haha, yeah, I'm fine, really. I've just been thinking a lot more, sorry for troubling you." You spoke, your words being half-truths.

Yeah, thinking about how you like her better than me.

He was still immensely skeptical, though a part of him seemed to buy it, giving you an extremely slow nod.

¤ Uh huh, just thinking, right.. If I might ask, what were you thinking about?¤  He asked, the conversation feeling a bit more like an interrogation than moments prior, making you mildly uncomfortable.

"Oh, it's nothing, there's just a guy on my mind, no big deal." You spoke through gritted teeth, too distracted by your own thoughts to see Whitty's face fall.

¤ Oh,,, a guy, huh? Do you like someone? ¤ He uttered, his voice dropping to a raspy whisper, soft and shaky.

You still didn't notice.

"Yeah, I do, haha . . . It doesn't matter though, I'll get over it and be back to normal soon!" You exclaimed, your phone ringing in your pocket.

"Oh, sorry, do you mind if I take this?" You hesitated, already knowing who it was and what was yet to come. You only recieved a slight nod as he looked to the side.

Answering the call, you heard a loud female voice on the other end, the voice of Girlfriend's mother. After she got to knew you, she had taken you under her wing, so to speak, and would always talk out your problems with you. She was the slightly demonic mother you never had.

"Y/n? You're coming over again tonight, right? We're ready for you to head over." She stated, jogging your memory. You were supposed to be there half an hour ago.

Your eyes widened slightly, as you gather your things and stuffed them in your backpack, mostly just your skateboard and protective gear. You rested the phone on your shoulder as you slipped the bag over the other, your face heating up.

"Oh, sorry! I lost track of time, I'll be there in a few!" You apologized, exchanging just a few more words before hanging up, shoving your phone in your pocket.

You stared up at the tall figure before you, smiling apologetically at Whitty, beginning to speak.

"Well, I guess I have to go now. I'll see you around sometime, could you tell the others I had to leave? Girlfriend should be here any minute, so I'm sure you won't mind me heading off." You excused yourself, your mood darkening as you mention Girlfriend, longing to be in her place.

He nodded rapidly, waving you off dismissively with one hand before stuffing it in his jacket pocket, refusing to look directly at you.

¤ Yeah, yeah, it's cool. See ya around sometime, I guess. ¤ He finished, ending the conversation as you walk away, disappearing back into the busy city.

You weren't there to watch him slowly bring the small bouquet of flowers put from behind himself, and you weren't there to see him tighten his grip on them until the stems snapped and he threw them to the ground.

You weren't there to notice how his shoulders trembled as black tears ran quickly down his face, bringing his hand up to his mouth to muffle his shaky whimpers and the other sounds of crying, his fuse lighting from anger though soon putting itself out out of sorrow.

Sobs wracked his large frame as he sat at the edge of the halfpipe, leaving his legs to dangle off the edge while he glared, giving the cold shoulder to no one in particular.

¤ . . . I wish I were him. ¤ He choked out, as the lonesome atmosphere continued to take its toll on him, not realized who you had meant.

Depressing haha :) Part two will come out sometime this year lol, it'll be less sad and more fluffy, probably XD