Even hours later, curled into my bed with Loki next to me, sleep eluded me. I was beyond exhausted, the aches and pains in my body making me wince every time I adjusted my position. But my brain wouldn't shut off.

Eventually, I gave up and clicked on the bedside light. A glance over at my desk showed the small pile of books Inara had told me she'd left for me. I hadn't even looked at them when I'd entered the room, just collapsed on the bed.

But now I was curious.

The books were old. Their pages were yellowed and worn, and a musty scent clung to them. I took the small stack and climbed back into bed, earning a small meow from Loki, who blinked sleepily at me.

"Sorry buddy," I said as I gave him a quick scratch by one of his ears.

The top book labelled, History of the Varquay, caught my attention. The cover was ornate, the letters done in a metallic gold. I traced a finger over the word Varquay as if it were a tangible object. As if I could just touching the word could make me believe that what Inara had told me was true.

But even after seeing her small display of magic, I still couldn't wrap my head around it. How could I be part of a magical race? There had never been anything special about me. Even my own mother had loved her husband more than she'd loved me.

But what if she was pretending so that she could keep you safe? A small part of me wanted to believe that was true, but after the years of abuse, it was hard. Hard to see past the mother who only doted on her husband, who ignored her daughter at every turn. The mother who ignored every bruise, physical or mental, that her husband left behind on her daughter.

And even if there was a good reason for her to ignore all of that. She'd sent me away. Blamed Oliver's and Samantha's deaths on me. Told me she'd never wanted to see me again and that I was no longer her daughter. And she'd lied to me about who I was my entire life.

Besides the physical abuse I'd suffered at the hands of my step-father, she'd abused me herself. Mentally and emotionally abused me. Her last words would haunt me forever.

I wished there was someone to talk to. I had never felt more alone than I did in this moment, staring at a book that contained my future. Even Naomi had kept me in the dark about my true heritage, about the Gifted program. What else had my friend hidden from me?

With shaking fingers, I opened the first page of the book. I skimmed most of the text. Names of people and battles that were foreign. None of it made any sense to me, nor felt familiar. Learning about American History in my classes back home had felt normal and boring.

But this felt foreign. Maybe by raising me with humans, my mother had killed the part of me that felt we'd belonged with the Varquay.

Pictures of Varquay throughout the ages greeted me, with various forms of magic plastered across the pages. Each image depicting a Varquay during battle had one thing in common; a set of wings, flared out behind them. Every single person's wings were slightly different, with varying shades of colors and patterns.

A shiver went down my spine. Would I grow wings? Will I be able to fly? Would it hurt?

At that thought, a memory resurfaced. Of me, in the woods, where I could hear large wings slicing through the air above me. The night before the bonfire, I'd been walking through the woods to clear my mind and I'd heard those large wingbeats and fear had gripped my heart.

Had someone been watching me then? Is that why I had felt so uneasy? I closed the cover of the book, feeling too uncomfortable to continue.

Loki was curled into a ball next to me, but he blinked at me as I climbed out and headed for the bathroom. With a small meow, he stretched before hopping off the bed and moving to twine himself between my legs.

I bent down to scratch him behind the ears, which made him purr in response. He looked at his empty food bowl, before turning to look at me with large, sad eyes.

With a sigh, I filled his bowl before heading in to take a shower. After the long day, I just wanted to feel the heat of the water against my aching muscles. As I stripped the borrowed clothes off in the bathroom, my fingers found the small vial of medicine Nurse Abby had given me.

A handmade label was across the bottle and in neat, narrow handwriting it read take one drop before bed. I placed the bottle on the countertop, where it gleamed under the bright vanity lights. I turned away from the medicine and stepped into the shower, just wanting to forget about today's events.

The steam was quick to fill the room and I let the heat wash over me, uncoiling the knots in my muscles. But the longer I stood in the hot water, the more tired I became. The soothing effects gave way to the pure exhaustion that coursed through me.

I turned the water off and wrapped myself in a fluffy towel. It took a lot of energy to dry myself off and change into a cozy set of PJs from home. It smelled of my mother's favorite kind of laundry detergent and I breathed in the scent, even if it reopened the gaping wound in my heart.

The little vial still sat on the bathroom counter, and I took it carefully in my hand. I pulled off the top and found that it was a dropper. Hoping that it didn't taste awful, I placed a single drop on my tongue. It melted instantly, tasting of peppermint.

I set the vial back on the counter, instantly feeling exhaustion wash over me. I crawled into bed, with Loki making a small meowing sound as I did. I stroked his fur once or twice, before I faded into a dreamless sleep.

~

I hid the rest of the weekend in my room, not feeling much like leaving. Ms. Rose brought me food when I told her I wasn't feeling well enough to go out. With a sympathetic look, she'd brought me all of my meals, not asking any questions.

I wondered how often she'd catered to students like me, who had learned of their true heritage far away from everything they'd ever known.

Once or twice, my phone had gone off, most likely Naomi checking in, but I never had the energy to check the messages.

The medicine kept my dreams away, which must have been from the deep sleep it helped me enter to regain my strength. My muscles still ached, though not nearly as bad as when I'd woken up in the infirmary.

But now there was no more hiding. Monday had come and it was nearly time for breakfast. My nerves were frayed at the thought of dealing with Mari and Alek full-time.

Besides that, I was already so far behind the rest of my classmates in their studies. How would I ever be able to catch up?

I tried to push away those invasive thoughts as I put my new textbooks in my bag. Ms. Rose had brought them along with dinner one evening, wanting me to have everything I needed for my new classes. While I appreciated her thoughtfulness, it did nothing to quell the ever-present anxiety churning in my stomach.

The sky outside was overcast, a light silver-gray that emphasized the overbearing cold that hung over everything. Frost clung to the dull blades of grass, making them glitter like diamonds. I hurried across the quad, the cold already seeping into my bones.

Naomi was waiting just inside the main building, chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and she looked slightly surprised when she saw me. But she recovered quickly, before shoving through the crowd to get to me.

"I was worried you wouldn't show," Naomi said as a way of greeting.

I gave her an odd look. "You thought I would hide in my room?"

"After what happened, I thought you might need more recovery time."

I wasn't sure if she meant the Emerging, my mother, or Mari, but I didn't want to press for answers. All those topics were still sensitive and I didn't want to risk another electrical storm by searching for answers.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to do any of it."

Naomi waved her hand in dismissal. "It's not your fault. Most people can't control it when they Emerge."

"Is it always like that?" I asked her as we moved into the food line, and I grabbed a tray of what was handed to me. It looked like an omelet, decorated with bits of parsley. Fancy.

"Sometimes," she answered. "It depends on the person and whether they're aware or not. Those who aren't aware of what they are, those like you, often have a more violent Emergence. Those who were raised with the truth usually have more support and knowledge, leading to calmer expressions of magic. But there's no way to tell for sure what will happen. It can be unpredictable."

"What happened when you Emerged?"

Naomi blushed a light shade of pink as she plopped herself into her seat at our normal table.

"Is that something we're not supposed to ask?"

She laughed a little. "No, it's a normal question. Not much happened, honestly. I was angry with my mom for something stupid and I yelled at her. When I yelled, the bottle of orange juice she had in her hands exploded. She was covered from head to toe. She was super pissed, but happy I'd found my magic."

The thought of Naomi's mother standing in a puddle of orange juice made a smile cross my face. But then I thought of my own mother.

I wondered if my mom would have been proud of me. If things had been normal, would she have celebrated this moment with me? Or would she have been ashamed at the damage I'd nearly caused in my Emergence? I chewed thoughtfully on a bite of my omelet, not tasting much of anything.

"Hey, new girl," a voice called. "I heard about your magical display in the quad."

I turned to look behind me, where Jason stood with a grin on his face. His navy blazer was unbuttoned, showing off the crisp shirt that clung tightly to his chest. Naomi pretended that he didn't exist, lowering her head and shoving food into her mouth. Her cheeks were a bright shade of red, her natural state when she was embarrassed.

"Yeah, it sure was something." What a mild way to put it, I thought to myself.

His grin grew wider, reaching his soft brown eyes. "I'm happy to show you to your new classes, if you need some assistance."

Naomi made a small noise that sounded like she was choking. I ignored her and gave Jason a small smile.

"I think I'll be okay, but thanks for the offer."

Jason looked at Naomi, who blushed even deeper and mumbled something incoherent into her glass of juice. He turned back to look at me, "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you in class."

His smile made my own blush cross my cheeks, which I'm sure he noticed. He gave me a small wave before he disappeared with some of his friends.

Naomi was still speechless, even after he was gone. Her face had yet to return to a normal shade.

"We should get going," Naomi said, standing with her tray. "Wouldn't want to be late for your first day of actual classes."

I stood with a groan, wondering what the day would hold.