Niall can’t help but think that his life would be perfect if it weren’t for the disease.

Maybe if he hadn’t fallen sick, he wouldn’t have had to leave Ireland. Maybe his family wouldn’t have given up on him and stopped visiting. Maybe he would’ve had the chance to make new friends and continue his education past secondary school. Maybe he could have found himself a cute, sweet boy to call his. But now, there’s no way for him to know.

Because of the mysterious disease, Niall had been a full-time resident of the London main hospital for the last nearly two years of his life. Somehow, through all that time, he had continued to get sicker and sicker as the doctors were none the wiser over what his condition was and how to cure the boy. It was frustrating at first, but now he’d gotten used to it and his hopes no longer rose when he was told they might have figured out his issues. He had accepted the fate that seemed inevitable, just as he’d been forced to accept the fact that everyone had abandoned him in a hospital in a foreign country he knew and loved.

White was a color he had gotten used to. White was the color of the hospital. It was the exact shade of the walls of his room, his sheets, the machines, the doors, and even the washrooms. Everything there was white.

But in that world of white, Niall felt like a black pit. He had nothing left to wish for. He had lost the hope of living a normal life when he’d been diagnosed with the disease. His family and friends were gone, and the doctors never tried hard enough to fix him. His hope was a patch of black on the hospital’s endless white canvas, and he hated it.

On this particular day, Niall was doing better than usual. He could actually move around on his bed of white, and swing his legs, which were draped in white, loose clothing, over the edge of the bed until they hit the white-tiled floor. Niall desperately wanted to see outside for himself and breath the fresh air. Each time he had one of those days, where his systems acted up and he found himself unable to do more than heave and sob and upchuck whatever he’d eaten, the doctors suddenly showed concern and kept him in for weeks.

So as he got to his feet, the blond slowly wandered about his room. There was another bed on the other side of the room, but he was alone. The nurses told him he was lucky not to have to share with someone. Niall wished there was someone there, just so he had someone to talk to and make believe they cared about his fate, his future. It wouldn’t even matter whether they were dressed in white or not, so long as they were there, because the person wouldn’t be all white.

It was as Niall regained his focus that he strolled more purposefully, heading for the white door that was ever so slightly ajar. He pushed it open and groaned as an alarm went off. Was an alarm on the door positively necessary?

The doctors would come soon so he had to move quickly. Niall darted out the door, not pausing to see if the alarm grew louder as he skidded his way down the hall and to the elevators. To his luck, one of them stopped on his floor just as he reached the elevator bank, so he hopped in and pressed down sharply on the “L” button, for the lobby. Letting out a sigh of relief as the doors slid shut, he turned to examine the elevator.

So far, there wasn’t much to see. The walls were still white, but there was a small space of silver along them at about waist-level. He assumed it was a bar for balance.

It was only once the doors slid open once again and Niall made his way out front that he took a deep breath and smiled for the first time in what felt like ages.

The air was so refreshing to his lungs. Niall grinned as he felt the breeze glide over his skin the sun shining down on his small, pale body wrapped in the flowing white material. Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure they’d dressed him in a gown that covered his behind. A quick glance back confirmed that he was indeed showing his rear end off to the world, but he was too happy to care. It was nice to be outside after living alone in that white place for so long.

Niall looked around. The people who worked at the hospital were all wearing white, he noticed. He crinkled up his nose at this. Lots of visitors wore light-colored clothing as well. Why was it that the world around him seemed to be full of white, and hope, and everything nice while Niall was the black hole? He prayed that before the doctors found him, he would see at least one person not wearing the typical bright aura he saw in all those faces.

When Niall has been outside for a good ten minutes, he began to feel a little self-conscious. He was standing in the middle of the walkway into the hospital, where everyone could see him and his exposed arse. A hot blush forming across his smooth cheeks, he headed for the nearest bench.

He decided that it must be his poor luck that he would bump into someone while moving such a short distance. It was a tall, lanky person with dark curls atop their head and feet that looked a bit too big to be comfortable, but it was a person all the same. A person who was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark, low-cut V-neck. Niall found himself simply lying on the ground where he fell, staring at the boy who fell with him. He couldn’t believe that for once, his wish had actually come true. Here was his break in the white.

“I’m such a klutz,” he heard the boy mutter as he rolled over and brushed off his hands. “Sorry for knocking into you there, mate.” Then the boy stood and hunched over Niall, showing off his bright emerald eyes. Niall couldn’t help but think that the boy couldn’t get any prettier if he tried.

“No, you’re not,” Niall argued, finding his voice. “I should’ve been paying more attention, or at least not standing smack in the middle of the path. It’s all my fault. Everything’s my fault.” Suddenly being reminded of the fact that this boy was the first person he’d talked to since his transfer to London, Niall felt like crying. Of course a gorgeous boy like this would only be talking to him because he’d knocked the stranger over. Why would anyone want to hang around the boy with the disease?

“Hey there, don’t cry. Here, take my hand. That’s it. Let’s get you over to that bench. That is where you were headed, right?” Niall’s tears only fell harder as he registered the level of concern a total stranger held for him. Why couldn’t his family care like that?

“I’m sorry,” he blubbered, “I’m such a mess. You don’t have to stay with me; you don’t even know me. You can go on in there and see whoever you came for.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “It would be rude of me to leave you here knowing that you started crying after I bumped into you. Besides, you’re wearing a medical gown. Shouldn’t you be in there yourself? Are you even supposed to be out here?”

Niall figured the truth was his best option here, but he hoped the boy didn’t run away when he finished speaking. “You’re right, technically, I should still be in there. But I’ve been cooped up in that same old white room for far too long and I just wanted some fresh air. Is it so much to ask for that after staying here for two years, I get one opportunity to see what it looks like outside the building? This stupid disease prevents me from doing anything. Stupid doctors, stupid hospital bed, stupid white hospital!” He crossed his arms over his chest, hiding his face in them as tears of frustration cascaded down.

“I won’t make you go back in there if you don’t want to,” the boy assured him. “If you don’t mind me asking, what disease is this? If you’ve been here for two years, I wouldn’t expect you to be looking this good.”

Niall blushed crimson, the color visible to the other boy on his neck and ears. “That’s the problem, they don’t know what I have. All they know is that they want to keep me here and run tests and see how much of a freak I am until I eventually die because nothing they do ever helps me.”

“You’re not a freak,” the boy said firmly, “just a lonely boy who’s been stuck in a hospital for too long, like you said.”

“What’s your name?”

The beautiful boy smiled. “I’m Harry, Harry Styles. And who would you be?”

“Niall Horan.” He nervously smiled back.

Harry frowned, causing Niall’s expression to drop. “How have you been alone for all this time? Where’s your family? Your friends?”

This was a touchy subject, but Niall wanted to keep his new friend, so he opened up anyway. “They left me here. Actually, they shipped me here. I’m from Ireland, as you can probably tell by the thick accent, and my friends left me when they realized they would have to say goodbye eventually. My family cried for a while and then shipped me off to another country so they wouldn’t have to directly deal with me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, Niall. Maybe they thought it would be better to keep their distance, like they were contributing to your illness. Maybe they were just trying to do what’s best for you.”

“So are you going to do what’s best for me too and leave, then?” Niall questioned sadly, rubbing one of his feet along the cement.

“No.” Harry breathed, taking Niall by surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to help you. I know what it’s like to feel like an outcast. Maybe it’s not on the same level as you, but nobody talks to me. I was coming here to see my new sister, since she was born a couple days ago. My whole family wanted me to stay away from her because they don’t want her to catch the ‘homosexual disease’, as they call it.” He paused for a second, looking unsettled. “You’re not, erm, against homosexuality, are you? If so, I apologize. You know what, I’ll just get going-“

Niall grabbed his wrist. “Hold up a second! I’m not a homophobe; that would be hypocritical. I’m gay too.”

Harry smiled in relief. “Thank god, I thought I’d just pushed you away too. You don’t mind me sticking around, do you? I mean, if you don’t want me here, just say the word and I’ll go.”

“You’re staying, buddy. I need something to entertain me in this deadly world of white, after all. You’re the only remotely dark person I’ve found.” Harry looked at him strangely.

“What do you mean by ‘dark’?” he wondered.

“It’s just that everything here is so white and cheery. The whole hospital, inside and out, is white. The doctors and nurses dress in white, they dress us in white, the beds are white, the floor is white, the people visiting wear cheery colors, and sometimes I just feel like I’m the only thing that’s not made of sugar, spice, and everything nice all the time,” Niall attempted to explain.

“I’ll be your darkness if you stay dark with me, Niall,” Harry made him promise. Then he stood and helped Niall back to his room, where doctors surrounded him and frantically checked his vitals and ran all sorts of tests while Niall sat bored and annoyed with their constant chatter, Harry in a chair at his bedside.

“It’s a miracle,” one of the doctors exclaimed. “His blood pressure has come back to normal range. How did you do it?” He appraised Harry.

The green-eyed boy shrugged. “All I did was bump into him and sit him down for a talk outside. Maybe it was the fresh air? Or the fact that he finally had someone to keep him company after two years of blankness?” The doctors pretended not to hear the last part. Which was clearly intended to be a jab at them.

“See?” Harry whispered. “I promised I’d be here for you, Niall. You’ve already started getting better. Just hold on a little longer, everything will be okay.

For once, Niall believed what someone was telling him.

True to his word, Harry stuck by Niall throughout his days. He had an apartment of his own, so he would sometimes go back there to change, shower and such, and sometimes he would return with food or games from outside for Niall. The blond boy had never been happier. He finally had a friend, something different in his world of white.

Though Niall didn’t realize it, he was no longer black. The day that he met Harry, he became dark blue. Slowly that hue changed to a brighter blue, and now it was a light shade. His test results were coming back incredibly positive at long last, he didn’t feel the need to puke after every meal, and he cold regularly stand and take short walks outside with Harry. Somewhere along the line, they’d come up with nicknames for each other. Harry was now ‘Haz’, and Niall was just ‘Ni’. Of course, everything he did was with Harry, for Harry, because of Harry. It was all Harry, and that was just how Niall liked it.

One bleary day when the two boys didn’t wish to go for a walk in the cold, Niall’s phone rang. This was odd because Harry was with him, and Harry was the only person who he expected to call. He rolled over and snatched the device from the table, bringing it up in front of him so he could see the incoming number. It was his home phone number, form Ireland.

He quickly shook the other boy, who’d been sleeping with Niall’s pillows, awake. “Haz,” he whispered frantically, “my mother is calling me and I don’t know what to do!”

Harry smiled up at him sleepily, “I think you should have a chat with them, Ni. They’re your family, you should at least tell them you’re doing better before you disappear on them.”

He was talking about the plans the two had made for what would happen when Niall was released, at long last. He didn’t have a proper education and therefore couldn’t work or do anything the normal way, but he wanted to stay with Harry and the boy didn’t refused his request. Instead, he’d offered an escape from both of their families: Harry and Niall would take all of their things, mostly Harry’s, and move to a new flat together. They wouldn’t tell their families they were leaving so it would just be the two of them, like it had been with Niall in the hospital.

And though Niall wouldn’t easily admit it, maybe he wanted to stay with Harry because he had developed a not-so-small crush on the boy. And maybe he was hoping their relationship would turn into something more, but who would anyone else be to tell?

So Niall picked up his ringing phone and pressed it to his ear. “Hello? Niall Horan speaking.”

A teary voice came through the line, “Oh, my baby! Why didn’t you call earlier? The doctors just told me you’re finally doing better and they’re planning on releasing you in two days. Why didn’t you ever say anything? We’d have been there already if we knew!”

And suddenly, with Harry lying beside him and a warm, comforting hand around his middle, Niall felt courageous. He felt like a spark, a tiny flame that was somewhat white, but still much more than the white could ever be. “So you want to see me now, huh? What about the last three and a half years, where were you then? You haven’t tried to contact me since you sent me away from my home, my friends, my family, and my entire country. Why should I care what you’re doing now? Why should I assume that you care when you never gave me any signs to show that you did?

The only reason I’m here to talk to you now, like this, is the only person who bothered to help me through the disease. You know, they figured out what caused it. After all this time, don’t you wish you’d known that the cause was pure loneliness? My body was so empty and so tired of fighting all its battles alone that it plain and simply began to shut down. If it weren’t for Harry, it would’ve shut down entirely. I owe everything to him and nothing to you.”

It sounded as if his mum was in tears. “But Niall, honey, we love-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” he warned. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me alone for so long. I finally have someone who cares about me for who I am inside, why would I leave him? Don’t bother coming out here, I’ll be gone by the time you arrive. I won’t be alone, so don’t you fret your little head over it. Harry will be with me. Bye, mum. I wish you the best of lives, well, after you get over the son who left you because you never cared enough for him, that is.”

So maybe it wasn’t the clean break he and Harry had been hoping for, but he finally got over his past. Niall felt so free, it was as if he was floating on those gusts of fresh air outside, the ones that he could finally feel, because he was free. After that call, the doctors came in to make sure stress hadn’t affected him and had declared him ready to leave. So he stood, changed into some of Harry’s smaller clothes that almost fit him, and followed the boy who saved him out the door of the white hospital for the last time.

Only this time, Niall was white too.

And if they got to their new flat and Harry told Niall that he had been white all along, and had only pretended to be black to help the prettiest boy he’d ever seen, then nobody else ever needed to know. And if Niall thought that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done on his behalf, nobody but Harry would care.

And if the two finally kissed and confessed to the love that had brought Niall through and saved Harry from slipping into his own darkness, then good for them.