{A/N: Sexy scene alert in this chapter and the next~ Skip through descriptions if you're disturbed, offended or just uncomfortable~ }

[Chapter 3]

“More than money, Dorian! You owe me a life!” I giggled and yelled at the same time, feeling my inhibitions down. There was something extremely wrong with me right now. I rarely got this drunk after just a few pops of the bottle.

Dorian had found me in my apartment shortly awhile after the sun set, and had invited me out for dinner. Since I had no prior arrangement, I accepted his date down to the famous French Restaurant around the corner, and we’d spent the entire dinner talking over pleasant things.

He looked relieved to be free of gunshots, and I managed to drop a few teases about his state of relief at the moment. In return, I told him about my success at playing double-agents, and he’d even come up with a fantasy about me being a top-notched spy for the FBI, considering how convincing as a fed agent I had sounded through the phone.

We shared laughs and mirth together, but I had never seen him more than my student. Dorian was my avid fan when I first picked him up from the street, and he had a pair of hands that were soft and slender. He had the physique of a man who knew his way around a woman’s bed, and definitely a face to match it all up. Since he’d begged me the first time I met him, and I had been in good moods at that point of time, I took Dorian under my wing –despite him being a year older than me –and nurtured his potential.

Members of The Circle were unallowed to take students, but I had been given an exception when Dorian was brought before a few of them –of course without his knowing –and managed to impress them with his deft fingers and quick mind. Dorian was more or less formally introduced to The Circle afterwards and though he was never an official member of The Circle, The Circle looked out for him and made me watch him carefully.

Which was exactly what I was trying to do now, except that I was drunk –so Dorian was the one watching me carefully now.

“You know I’ll gladly lay down my life for you, Hay-” He began to say, but I pressed my finger against his totally chewable lips.

“Shhh…. Just let me hear the silence of how much you owe me right now…” I leaned in closer to him, feeling a little out of balance as I leaned my weight against him.

“Sure thing then, darling.” He said smoothly, removing my finger on his lip gently and sliding closer to me in a swift movement, sweeping the wine bottles between us out of the way.

He leaned my head against his shoulder, and it felt so comforting, so comfortable. I felt my eyelids closing, the strength slowly draining out from my arms and legs as I just sat there. Was I really so intoxicated? I hadn’t drank more than a bottle, and I knew my limits just right.

My fingers fell off my little clutch purse, and it fell from my hands to the floor of the car.

“Just awhile more, darling, and you will be mine.” Dorian purred into my ear as the gentle fingers I’d worked with for the past five years reached up and brushed my hair aside, tucking a lock of it behind my ear in an extremely soft and passionate movement. I recognized this Dorian, this side of Dorian that had been shown many times on the women he preyed upon.

Was he trying to hit on me? Seriously, Dorian? We were not going to have a teacher-student relationship, and though Dorian had proclaimed himself out of my tutelage, The Circle definitely didn’t see it that way –considering how much they’d forced me to stick my head out for his troubling cases.

“Stop it, Dory… I’m your teacher……” I reached up a weak hand, trying to push his hand away from stroking my face, but failing to do any results when his other hand claimed it gently, putting it back down on my lap as I leaned my entire weight on his shoulder now.

He chuckled, a chuckle that was in his husky, totally turned-on-voice.

“’Dory’… Now, that’s a name only someone like you would come up with for a man like me… You don’t know how much you mean to me, darling… You were like a Goddess to me –you still are. But now that I’m one step closer to you, now that I’m recognized as a con by The Circle, I’m one step closer to having you.”

I knew trouble when I heard its voice speaking to me. My mind, even slow and intoxicated, could still work as a con artist, and immediately images of Dorian producing the wine from the backseat of his car jumped out at me. He’d gotten the top down for us to enjoy a lovely view of the Grand Central Park, but of course we were sharing this space with public, so Dorian couldn’t get all hand-sy on me now. The problem? I was in his car. And Dorian had drugged me with the wine.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think Dorian was a man worth it. It wasn’t that I hadn’t had sex with anyone before. It wasn’t that I didn’t have one-night stands before. But I had principles, and one of them was to not sleep with men that were close to me in my life –unless I was ready to be emotionally involved with them. Dorian was a close friend to me, a close student, and I wasn’t going to ruin that by having sex with him. I didn’t want his view of me to change too, just because we had sex.

But this time… he was forcing himself on me.

“No… Don’t… Don’t do this…” I tried my best to protest, but it sounded like a whining moan from me. My head felt so heavy…

“I really like you. I liked you since Day 1 I met you. You picked me out of every other fledging pickpocket of the entire place. I’m your only student. Does that not mean I’m special to you?” He asked, sounding a little surprised that I could still speak, that I was still conscious.

Oh, he was going to get more than a little surprised. Intoxicated or not, drugged or not, I wasn’t going to back down like this. I was going to do more than just talk. Mind over matter –I always told myself, and it mastering this technique was one of the things that made me as successful as a con. I had a will of steel, and I didn’t let bodily restrictions stop me.

“Yes, special… but not in this way, Dorian… We’re not ready for this…” I muttered, forcing my body to take weight off his shoulder. It obeyed, but very reluctantly. My fingers began to slide over his car door, searching for the handle.

“But why? Why do you keep telling me that? I’ve waited for so many years! I’ve studied so hard and made you so proud!” Dorian protested like a hurt puppy, obviously not expecting my rejection, even from a drugged version of me.

“Yes… you have… but I can’t… I’m not ready to love…”

“Because of Neal? You still cannot forget Neal?” He demanded, sounding pissed off now.

Neal… The name made me smile a little, and unfortunately, he caught it. In my dimmed vision, I saw his anger begin to flare, and an angry Dorian usually wasn’t pretty. I fumbled quickly with the handle, spending precious brain cells cheering internally when the car door swung open slowly.

I rushed to get my legs out, ignoring my questioning of my ability to stand. I needed to get somewhere more crowded, so that I could take the time to get my head back in the game and escape Dorian for now. We could talk about tonight and address his reason of drugging me some other day, but not while I was still drugged.

Somehow or the other, I managed to get my legs moving –stumbling, actually –further and further away from the car. I bumped into a million things and people as I forced myself into Grand Central Park, hearing his footsteps behind me as he began to pick up pace to chase up with me. People were giving me weird looks –wondering why a drunken woman like me was still capable of slugging her body into Grand Central Park. Of course, many silent questions were answered when they saw Dorian –my assumed boyfriend- running after me.

But they didn’t get that I was trying my best to run away from him.

I knew Dorian was getting closer, but I had to try.

Then I saw him, walking alone. At this time of the night, walking alone in Grand Central Park in a neatly pressed suit, it could mean only two things. He was single, and he was a fed. Much as FBI was my mortal enemies, I was desperate to escape Dorian at the moment.

I took off my heels that were inhibiting drunken running, and scrambled over to the Suit as fast as my drugged mind could. Of course, there would be no nice dramatic air if I didn’t trip over the hem of my long dress and fall towards him. Thank goodness for my substantial height, for I fell perfectly in his arms.

“Miss, are you alright?” His voice was almost too loud in my ears, and leaning my weight on someone else made me want to go right back to sleep again.

“Help me…… I’ve… been drugged…… There’s… this… guy… that wants to get on bed… with me… now…” I breathed tiredly, trying to speak as loud as I could, but realizing I was only whispering.

“Miss? Miss?” The fed continued asking stupidly as I began to lose my energy, my legs beginning to buckle. My heels fell from my fingers, clattering noisily to the floor.

“Annabel! Annabel!” I heard Dorian’s shout. At least he was doing an effort to keep my name away from prying ears.

“He’s… the one… He… drugged me…” I breathed, feeling really close to sleeping already, but doing my best to hold on.

“Annabel, you shouldn’t have gone wandering off on your own when you’re so drunk. I’m so sorry, Sir. My girlfriend just doesn’t know how to control her alcohol intake.” I heard Dorian’s smooth talk, and had to pray that this fed that I’d run into wasn’t daft.

The Fed was holding my entire weight up now, hands cautiously not touching anywhere near my chest, but holding me carefully on my waist and arm.

“I am sorry sir, but your ‘girlfriend’ just told me that you’ve drugged her, and is planning to take her to bed without her consent. That is viewed as statutory rape in the eyes of the law.” The Fed’s voice was defensive, and I thanked the Gods that I’d bumped into someone who knew his work.

“She’s just drunk and imagining things. She’s got a friend who got raped recently, so she got scared when I took her to my car to escort her home.” Dorian tried to sweet-talk his way through, but I guessed it wasn’t getting through to the Fed.

“Nevertheless, I will not hand her over to you as a precaution. Will you tell me her address so we might send her over to her apartment? If you are not planning rape, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind taking a ride with me.”

Wow, that was good. This Fed knew his work.

“I would, but I have things to do, sir. How am I supposed to trust you? I don’t know you at all; so doesn’t my girlfriend.”

“Don’t you worry. I’m from the FBI. I won’t be planning a rape on her anytime soon.”

“Can you show me your badge then? How can I believe your words like this?” Dorian challenged, and even though in this situation he was my enemy, I applauded him for this challenge. This was a way for Dorian to find out exactly who from the FBI to watch out for.

The hand on my arm let go, and I felt him reaching in his pocket. It didn’t take a genius to guess he was flashing his badge at Dorian, since I couldn’t see with eyes closed.

“Okay, I trust you, Agent Clarke. But I need a favor from you. I need to go off urgently now –I have a flight that’s going to leave without me. I will leave her address with you, and I’ll pay for your cab fare. Can you please help me drop her off at her place?” Dorian said quickly, and I heard shuffles as he got his wallet and a piece of paper he could write my address down on.

“Sir, I’m not authorized to-”

“Do me a favor. I’ll leave my number with you. If anyone wants to check anything out, just contact me. Look, I have to go now. Thank you for your help, Agent Clarke. Please take good care of my Annabel.” Dorian stuffed the money and the paper in his hands, and then there were quick footsteps –from him retreating quickly.

The Fed –Agent Clarke –holding me up stood for a moment longer, as if unbelieving that Dorian, my businessman ‘boyfriend’ would leave his girlfriend here. Oh, if he knew…

Whatever drug Dorian had been feeding me, it worked in a way that I was still conscious, but couldn’t move. I could hear and feel well, but my eyelids felt like they were glued shut, and my limbs definitely didn’t feel like they were going to start moving soon. Effectively, I was a zombie trapped in my shell. At least I could still think clearly.

“Near Grand Central, huh? That’s not too far from here…”

“Hey, Mr. Fed!” I heard Dorian again, his footsteps coming back. What was he doing? He had to have crazy thoughts if he was doubling back to find an FBI agent... Yes, Dorian might have tried to force me to do things against my will, but he was still my student, and a man I kept close to me. I didn’t have many of those –so I cherished him, and I didn’t exactly didn’t want him to court death playing tango with a fed.

“Back again?” Agent Clarke replied skeptically, and I heard Dorian’s footsteps stopping before us.

“She left her purse in my car. You’ll need it to get up her apartment. Badge’s not going to get you every, Mr. Fed.” Dorian said, which could pose a problem if this Agent was sharp enough. Normal New York citizens didn’t know the restrictions or the lengths of what the FBI badge could bring an agent to. Only con artists and FBI agents themselves knew.

Agent Clarke, luckily, didn’t seem as sharp, as he accepted my purse. I felt someone stepping closer, and placing soft lips on my cheek.

“I’ve got to go now. I’m really sorry, and I would like to have an honest cup of a coffee with you someday.” This time, Dorian ran off, and I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be coming back. I was relieved for two reasons –that Dorian was not going to do anything stupid like engage in a long conversation with a fed, and that he wasn’t going to do anything to me today.

Of course, I couldn’t show my relief in any way, considering my zombified status at the moment.

I felt as the fed inched me to the nearest bench, resting my weight from his shoulder as he checked out my wallet. I thanked the gods I hadn’t thought of bringing anything important out, though I was slightly worried if I’d brought the correct fake-ID out for dinner with Dorian. Things like IDs were sensitive with feds, and I knew they could ring a million alarm bells if they found stolen IDs and mismatching IDs.

“Annabel Francis…27 this year…” He muttered, and I sighed internally. I’d brought the correct ID. He continued searching through my purse –not that I had anything important left for him –and in the silence, I finally began to feel the secondary effect of the drug setting in.

Maybe I was wrong. Dorian’s drug was strong, and the first stage was most probably simply paralyzing of the limbs and ability to move. The secondary effects were beginning to set in, and my mind was beginning to feel woozy. Suddenly, I felt my consciousness slide, and since I was already paralyzed, there was nothing more I could do to stop it.

I let myself slide in; hoping Agent Clarke wouldn’t get too curious over me.

Though I seriously doubt that someone of his job would ever have another lady like me, staggering over to him and claiming that she had been drugged by her boyfriend.

Like I said, my job had their ups and downs.

Getting drugged was definitely the down side of it.

******************************************************

Waking up really hurt. I had narrowly escaped car accidents, I had been shot by backstabbing clients, mafia groups and even police, but this time, it hurt even more than I had ever felt. I stirred, regretting that movement when it sent daggers of pain up my head. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to call this a hangover anymore.

It felt like someone had hammered my head in, and my brain had been brutally torn to piece, left to bleed and fill up my head with blood. Okay, that was a grotesque description, but it was definitely what I could think of at the moment. Still, I could not afford to be lying around and doing nothing. People of my profession never stayed around waiting for the sky to fall upon us, no matter how large a hangover we were getting.

I was more than a little surprised when I forced my eyes open to find myself sleeping on my bed, still fully dressed but without my heels.

As if on cue, my phone began chiming, singing a happy tune even though I wasn’t exactly feeling very happy right now at the moment.

“Go for Anna.” I sighed. There were few people who knew my number, and those who did probably either knew me as Anna –short for Annalise, Annalisa, Annabel, or Annaline –or just by my real name. This phone, after all, was my work phone. My personal phone was another case.

“I’m really sorry for yesterday. I didn’t know what I was thinking… I just… I really like you, and I couldn’t control myself. When The Circle told me you were back in town, I just knew I had to see you again. I didn’t mean to do that yesterday.” Dorian sounded as if he’d been bashing himself up enough, so I guessed there wasn’t much that I could scold him for. Everyone were allowed to make mistakes, no? Of course, mistakes were allowed when it came to terms with me. Dorian was never allowed to make mistakes when it came to the FBI and The Circle.

“If you drop over with ten bottles of Tylenol and a cup of strong, black, thick espresso right now, I’ll forgive you. What the hell was that thing you put in the drink?”

"Some strong ones I picked up while I was in LA. It was supposed to give you a total knockout… I don’t know how it didn’t work right with you…” He answered, though he still sounded like a child who knew he’d done something that his mother would explode at him for.

“Just don’t try that stunt on me again, or I wouldn’t be this lenient the next time. Come over. We’ll talk as I change and get ready for the day.” I instructed, and Dorian agreed.

You might think I’m courting trouble, inviting Dorian over to my house, but we were both used to this. The night before was a mistake –and Dorian knew it. I could not ask him to ignore his feelings, but I could not cultivate it either. Yes, I expected him to crush it down until he found his perfect love partner, but I couldn’t blame a man for having his own urges between moments. It would be risky if I had him for a sex partner, but it was way better than having Dorian for a love partner at any time of the day.

Forcing every particle of me to move my tired body now, I climbed out of bed –literally climbed –and staggered over to the bathroom. A cold shower got slightly more feeling back between my fingers, and wash-up made me feel just a little better than I was before. Dorian let himself in while I was in the showers, and I came out of the bathroom with only a bathrobe, glad to be finally out of the long dress I’d been stuck in for the entire night.

I found him at my dressing table, looking forlornly at the photos I’d placed facedown there.

“You still have his photo…” He turned around, voice soft when I heard the door of the bathroom clicking open.

“Of course. I will never forget him, and this I will never lose. Where’s the Tylenol?” I asked, trying my best to sound lively even though I wasn’t. I didn’t want Dorian to know exactly how much it hurt me to talk about him. He was my past, my scar to keep.

“On your bed. Why can’t you forget him? You’re better off letting go of the past.” He stood up, turning around and holding on to the photo frame, flashing it at me when all I had been doing with it was to put it face-down whenever I took it out. I hadn’t been able to bear seeing his smile, his dreamy look every morning when I woke, every night before I slept.

“He’s a past better not forgetting. Let this slide, Dorian. I’ve had a rough time yesterday –thanks to you. You will do better if you just do what I want at the moment, or I’m going to be nasty.”

I stalked over quickly to him, snatching the photo from his hands and placing it back face-down on the table, feeling as Dorian spun around to watch my movement.

“Then why face-down? You cannot bear to see him! Let him go!” Dorian demanded –not what he would want to be doing with me at the moment.

“I cannot, and I won’t! Let this slide, before I get pissed.” I warned, this time with more force as I returned to the bed, popping open a bottle of Tylenol and throwing back two of the magic pills before washing it down with the thick, black espresso my student had brought up –thankfully.

“Neal is gone. He will never be back to your side. Neal is dead. Why can’t you just understand that?” He grabbed my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. There was desperation as he implored me to listen, but I couldn’t bear to.

“He’s not dead. Just gone.” I insisted, swiping his hands away from my shoulder and turning away, thinking to retreat to my closet before Dorian could pursue more. I’d just woken up with an enormous headache –I didn’t need to start arguing with him right now. Not so early in the morning.

“His jet crashed and burned to ashes! His DNA was found in the wreckage!” Dorian began to raise his voice, frustration. He thought he wasn’t getting through to me. He thought I still wasn’t over Neal.

He was right. I wasn’t over Neal. Neal had jumped out of my life so abruptly that I couldn’t bear it. He had been the greatest thing in my life, and he had disappeared just like that. A gaping hole in my heart that couldn’t be filled ever by his cool blue eyes, his charming smile again. But stupid me was still clinging on to stupid hopes.

I should be a realist –I knew. As a con artist, I should move on. But I was Neal’s lover above being a con artist. I could not let him go.

“I never saw his body. I won’t believe that he’s dead.” I denied, stopping mid-step towards my closet. I knew what Dorian was trying to get at, but it hurt. I knew Dorian’s purpose of doing this –to make my vulnerable to love, to make my vulnerable to care. Dorian knew my weakness, and he was going to use it to satisfy his wants.

But I couldn’t help it. Neal was the weakness that had been put on display. It hurt more to know that the man I’d trusted, the man I had taken under my wing, for him to be such a successful and famous con, would take my weakness, and use it to get me. Dorian was backstabbing me, and I was still protecting him.

I should be doing something to him right now. I should be getting out of this fix; I should be calling The Circle to have Dorian removed from their sights. I should get Dorian falling from his peak, and I should destroy him at this moment –for backstabbing me. I could never forgive anyone who backstabbed me.

But this time…

I wanted to be backstabbed. It hurt, but maybe my mind told me I wanted this. I wanted to forget Neal, much as my heart refused to. I wanted to move on from Neal, but my heart continued to break every time I saw his beautiful picture. My mind even thought Dorian was a better alternative than crying over Neal.

“I know it’s hard for you… but Neal is dead. He’s the past, I’m the present. I know you don’t have feelings for me, but I really care a lot about you. Give me a chance, please. Give me a chance to protect you and make you laugh like how Neal did. Give me a chance to love you –and maybe you’ll begin to love me back.” Dorian stepped slowly from behind me, and his warm, strong, muscular arms snaked around me, pulling me into his protective embrace while I stood, back-faced to him.

It didn’t take a genius to know that I was breaking down –by how the tears were spilling and my shoulders shaking. My principles, my restrictions, my inhibitions crashed right down like how Neal’s plane had crashed years ago, and I spun around, returning the embrace. It felt good to be protected again. It felt good to be cared for, loved again. And even if I didn’t like him, I loved him for trying.

We shared a deep, passionate kiss that wasn’t entirely faked on my part. I was tired of the emotional trauma Neal gave me. I was tired of the torture I put myself through. If Dorian could make mistakes when it came to love, then I could too.

My tongue entered his mouth, exploring places I’d never thought to explore before, and he did the same with me, till we were sharing the same breath, back and forth. He guided us to the bed, and I didn’t fight him. There was no asking what he wanted to do –there was no asking if I was going to fight back. I was tired of fighting.

I swept the goods that he’d brought in for me off the bed while he took off his shirt, throwing it over to the dressing table. Grabbing my waist and locking lips tighter this time, he hoisted me further on the bed, kicking off his shoes as he climbed on it with me. My hands roamed across his rock-hard abs, fingers sliding across his pillow-soft cheeks, holding his face to mine.

Deep need started spiraling from my navel, and he grabbed both my hands, extending it above our heads and pinning my wrists to the bed while his mouth kept mine hostage. I could be his teacher, but on the bed, there were no instructions that needed to be given. He knew his work around the bed.

One hand keeping me captive, his other hand moved towards the belt of the bathrobe, his kisses trailing down my neck as the deft fingers that he was so famous and recognized for began working on the belt, loosening the ribbon I’d tied.

“I really love you… I swear…” He moaned as he nipped at my neck, face brushing away the soft offending cloth of the bathrobe off my shoulder.

“Dorian…” I moaned in reply as he worked the ribbon free, throwing the robe open wide to show him the full extent of my very-naked and getting-hot body.

“Submit to me. I promise I'll protect you…” He begged, eyes coming back up after a long moment of staring at the curls between my legs.

“Not the way Neal did…… Just do it your own way, Dorian…” I whispered, nodding my consent.

There was flash of pure compassion and joy across his eyes, and then he was back in the game, kisses trailing down my body as hands grabbed my full breasts, kneading them softly. His erection was rubbing against my thigh, straining against his jeans, but he was ignoring that for the moment, suckling my nipples until they were hard and wet with his saliva.

I moaned from the sexual pleasure, gaining a satisfying reply from him in his husky voice. He began to work his way downwards, hands sliding over the fresh skin of my flat stomach, sending crazy signals as he neared my womanhood. He slid his body downwards so that he could observe his own work on me.

Gentle hands pushed my thighs apart, and I opened up the view for him, hearing his deep laugh of pleasure. Dorian and I had sex once when we were celebrating his first news-heading heist, and it had been great –though we’d promise each other that the sex was only a use of the other to relieve the stress that we were both going through while Dorian had been carrying out the complicated scam.

This time… was different. This time, there was no excuse. Dorian was pouncing on me, and I was opening up to him like –after a word or two about Neal. I felt cheap –cheap and dirty. But how could I help it? Dorian loved me, and I treated him dearly.

The folds of the muscles in my nether regions contracted as his fingers trailed closer to where both thighs began from, and he stroked me, the sensitive areas causing me to buckle my back at the sudden surge of electricity that flowed through me.

I gasped as he forced a finger into my opening, sliding through. The muscles of my womanhood clenched over his finger, but he was stroking them gently, inside me. My breath began picking up when he inserted another finger, stroking me like a cat. Damned, he was turning around and playing with me wasn’t he? He was trying to do a role reversal –trying to be the one in control this time.

“Not enough?” He teased as he heard my picking up of breath, and he shoved the third finger inside, this time taking things rough. I moaned loudly in time with his powerful, deep laughter.

“Enough, Dorian!” I was surprised my voice could even sound perfectly alright at this moment, and I reached down to stop his sexual torture on me. He slid wet fingers out of me, and straightened up, kneeling before my awaiting opening.

Cheekily, he held my eyes while fingers slowly –ever so slowly –undid the buckle of his belt around his jeans.

“Damned you!” I complained, sitting up and slapping his hands away quickly. The deft fingers of con artists like me definitely helped and I had him stripped in a matter of seconds, his smile never wavering as he saw the need on my face. He was controlling himself –I could see twice the amount of need in his eyes –and it must have given him sick pleasure to know that he could drive me so crazy.

He kept teasing me by doing everything slowly, and I ended up doing everything for him, hearing his amused laughter while I rolled the condom on for him. To stop that, I regained what little control I still held, and jumped on him, cutting off his laughter with another deep-throated kiss, turning laughter into moans as I spun us around on the bed, me being on top now.

“You love me too, don’t you…?” He was finally beginning to submit to his need and feelings –foregoing the power of control over me now that I was taking things to the next stage.

Even if I was in deep need. Even if I was trying to deny that I was making a mistake. Even if I really wanted to have sex with him right now. Even if I really wanted him inside me, throttling me right now, I was clear-minded enough to answer his dreamy question.

“No. But I care for you enough to give you a chance.”

That was enough an answer for him. He grabbed my shoulders suddenly, rolling us on the bed again until he was on top. There was no warning.

He shoved himself in, and just like that, we were joined as one again.

As if he never left.

“Neal…” I moaned as he slid himself deftly.

At the end of the day, I failed the fight against myself.

At the end of the day, I could never forget Neal. I could never forget him, how it felt with him holding me.

How it felt with Neal inside of me.