Chapter 28

I stood outside the door, prepping myself up quickly. While running around back in the skin of Hayley Seyfried had gotten me a few days’ worth of joy of being a free con artist, it was still time for me to go back undercover and focus on reality.

The past few days, Annabel Francis had taken leave from work –she had much to spare, considering her track record of closing cases –and Hayley Seyfried had been spending her time creating small news on the street. Most of the time, Hayley Seyfried remained at home, where she found Neal. Neal, who had promised to never leave, and hadn’t done any disappearing acts so far.

I don’t know whether to feel relieved or happy. I don’t know whether to feel sour or pained. I really don’t know what to think. The sight of Neal so broken breaks my heart, but I cannot find it in myself to truly forgive him for disappearing on me for seven years. Could his physical pain level the mental pain he had been causing me? I knew he hurt as much as I had at his staying away –but was it equally hard for him? I hoped it had been.

The years had made me hard against him. While my heart ached and broke to love him again, I refused to let myself by the young Hayley Seyfried again. I refused to fall helplessly for him, and refused to feel anything more than pity for his loss of use of his limbs.

There was still Hayden. He had not gotten over the fact that Neal was back around, and no matter how much I tried to convince him that I wasn’t running away, I know that my little brother is beginning to build up his guards again. I know Hayden is preparing for the day I run, but I won’t. I made a mistake leaving Hayden seven years ago, and I will never do it again.

I just have to prove it.

With a quick knock on the door and hearing a lively reply, I opened the door with a small smile. The patient was reading a novel now, his files piled up in one neat pile on one side of the room. My smile grew a little wider to see that he wasn’t spending every waking moment trying to analyze a case that was no longer his.

Yes, FBI Agent Rainer Clarke had been kicked out of his case ‘for his security’. The FBI probably guessed that Rainer had been too close the answer, and that was what made him targeted. For safety reasons, Rainer was taken off the case while he recuperated, and proud Agent Francis was given the case.

Yes, me.

“Now that’s a face I haven’t seen in some time.” Rainer greets, closing the novel in his hands and looking up with a dazzling smile. Really, I do not understand how this man has no girlfriend, or even a social life. It really is a sin for someone with his resplendent features to fail at the flirting section. “Yuri tells me you’ve been taking a long break despite your new packed schedule.”

I made a face. “I am not Hayden, Rainer. I don’t remember having a tracking anklet on me.”

He only tilted his smile into a smirk.

“I seem to remember someone telling me about her dirty past.” He suggests, and I rolled my eyes to show my exasperation. At least he seemed to be feeling better now. I hadn’t really thought he would take being taken off the case so easily, but I guess getting a visit from Hayley Seyfried really shocked him into submission.

Wow, I must have been really scary.

“I am not obliged to tell you every single aspect of my life, Agent Clarke. You would do better if you were my boyfriend, but Hayden has claimed that title.” I announced, and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“Surely I warrant an update on how you’ve been spending the past few days trying to crack the case?” He asked with a raise of brow, and I took the cue that he was slipping back into business talk. No matter how cool he seemed about it, I could see he was still brimming with the need to see his case to the end.

Such was the sad nature of workaholics.

I sat down on the seat by his bed with a huff, dropping my bag at my side. I gave a little frown at my hands, pretending to spend a moment of silence to think to build up tension. There was no one guarding Rainer –which was still a big surprise to me –so there was no one to eavesdrop on us. I’d also made sure that the CCTV in the corner of his room was rigged to repeat tape from the past few minutes to make it seem like Rainer had just been spending his time reading his novel alone.

“I don’t want to tell anyone… but Hayley contacted me after she visited you.” I dropped my voice softer, pretending to look around for non-existent eavesdroppers. The effect was there immediately as his eyes widened in concern, giving me a second look as if to spot for any injuries I might have sustained.

Instantly, I was slightly offended. After studying my family for so long, after being acquainted to Hayden for so long, did Agent Rainer Clarke really believe that I, Hayley Seyfried, would inflict any form of physical harm on anyone, especially on a woman? We Seyfrieds make it a point never to inflict physical harm unless we were in a dire situation. The ultimate goal of all Seyfrieds was that we end up with our target desperate and helpless, while we leave them none-the-wiser.

“What did she say to you?”

“Probably the same as she did to you. She warned me to stay away from her little brother. She told me that Seyfrieds run faster than I could ever imagine, and she would bring Hayden running even faster than I could think. I think she’s pretty confident of winning this thing. She knows I’m working with you to save Hayden from the con world. She said I shouldn’t rely on you to protect me from her.” I ‘confessed’, watching as Rainer’s face grew a little darker with every word.

“She told me to stay away from Hayden, and let him go. She wants him to join him back in the con world… and she said the exact same things you did.” Rainer seemed to be haunted at a memory, so I scooted closer. What had I said –as Hayley Seyfried –that had gotten through so deeply to him? I remembered him looking like a lost child, like a child who had been told that Santa was a lie when I’d talked to him as Hayley.

“What did she say?”

“’Once a con, always a con.’ Is it really true? Is it so hard to break free?”

I bit my lip to refrain from letting the words spill. There could be a million different analogies to represent the level of addiction conning was to people like us, but the simple phrase remained. Once a con, always a con. No con artist could escape that fact, even if their lives depended on it. It was simply a road you could never turn your back on. Either your con world finds you, or you find your way back eventually.

“It is like a drug. You force yourself into rehabilitation, you force yourself to break the addiction. But when someone comes along and offers you another try, the next moment, you’re in it again. You can’t help it. You bump into someone, and the next thing you know; their wallets are in your hands. You can chop off our limbs, but it doesn’t change how we think. Once you learn to be a con, you don’t stop thinking con. But I guess that’s what makes me so good an FBI. I think the same way as them.” I explained, but his eyes pierced through me, as if shocked.

“That analogy…… Nick said the exact same thing to me.”

Nick? I distantly recalled that name from a past conversation that we once shared… almost a lifetime ago.

“Nick, your half-brother, the ex-con?”

Rainer nodded absently. “Nick. He told me the exact same thing. He said conning is like a drug you can never forget.”

“And he’s still conning out there, even with a half-brother in the White Collar Division?” I asked to lighten the atmosphere, and it worked as the injured agent chuckled a little, then winced at the strain that the movement caused on his gunshot wound.

“He’s a lawyer now. He says his knowledge about even the slightest clauses in the laws as a con helps him as a lawyer. I guess he’s still thinking con –thinking about how to exploit such clauses.”

“Well, he sounds lovely.” I concluded, back at my main goal of charming the agent. The fact that Dorian and Jeremy had wanted me to give up charming Agent Rainer Clarke was more incentive more me to do exactly the opposite.

Call me childish, but I needed this win. After receiving so many blows, I’d begun to wonder if I was truly deserving of the title on The Circle. NYC was the White Collar Paradise, a place where white collar cons were the best to be executed and yet, I, a top-notched player was losing out in this Paradise?

I wasn’t going to accept that easily. To prove myself, I would accomplish what no con have dared. Pose as an FBI agent, and charm another fellow FBI agent into letting a CI –a well-known famous Seyfried –back into the con world. This was my newest goal, for Dorian was no longer my problem, and I could trust my girls Jerlyn and Mabel to withdraw without bringing too much attention.

Jeremy was still a major cause for concern, but what could I do? The man was adamant. My heart broke at the sight of him; broken. But he refused to see me –especially after the last time he chased me out of his ward, and found out –through Hayden –that I refused to listen to him. I know I shouldn’t be rebelling against a man while his days were numbered, but Jeremy needed to know that I was doing this not only for him.

On surface, it seemed so. But beneath it, it was so much more. It was for Jeremy, for me, for Hayden.

“You actually remind of me Nick. Both are you are quite the similar souls.” Rainer replied, as if suddenly surprised by his revelation. “You two really should meet each other sometimes.”

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely.” I entertained as I grabbed my bag from my side. “But unlike you, Agent Clarke, I have work to do. I’ll be going now.”

He smiled –a bright smile that I hadn’t seen before. There was a charmed sparkle in his blue eyes, and for a moment, it reminded me for the pair of baby blue eyes that I’d been looking at these few days. For a moment there, Agent Clarke reminded me of the wheelchair-bound man that had dropped back into my life. That smile… that charming smile was also the smile that Neal used to lure me in too…

How could it…

“Bye. I wish you luck. But please do stay careful. Dorian might be gone, but we are dealing with a top-notched Seyfried now. Hayden wouldn’t be much of a help going against his sister, so it’s only you now.” Rainer advised, and I shook my thoughts quickly away as I plastered on the charming smile on my face.

“More of that, and I’ll request for you back on the case.” I threatened lightly, ducking out of the room with Rainer’s amused chuckle following me.

It was working. This part of the large-scale con was easier than I thought, but that was what I was cautious of too. Things normally didn’t go so smoothly. If it did… then it would mean that something was going to go wrong soon.

Save Dorian’s defection, Tyler Yule had been quiet. Too quiet. It wasn’t his style to stay back and wait for his target to reel from shock. I needed to do something about the meddling Circle member in NYC.

“Mabel,” I greeted when he picked up the phone. “How would you like to visit Tyler Yule for me?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The man on the bed looked weaker and weaker by the day, and as I watched him grow frail, so did my heart. Nothing seemed to tape my heart back together, and watching him now as he struggled through the simple processes of life was a painful mess for me inside.

After the failure of the first operation, Jeremy’s complication got worse. Infections came up everywhere between days, and the date for the second operation got postponed repeatedly. It was only a matter of time until this man would just collapse, and be rushed again to the A&E.

“Hays…” He called weakly as his hands covered over mine on the bed. He is too weak to even hold long conversations now.

“I’m here, Jeremy.” I reported quickly, reaching up stroke his blonde curls up. There had been a time where everything about Jeremy shone with energy and enthusiasm. Now he looked faded, as if a painting that had been neglected, as if a photo that had been exposed too long in the sunlight. Behind dull, pained eyes, I saw the eagerness of a con Jeremy, waiting to regain the energy to con again.

But he was shackled by his condition, and it broke my heart that Jeremy was reduced to such a faded state.

“When I get better… will you marry me?”

It was the most innocent of questions, but it made my eyes sting with unshed tears. It made me remember the time when I was only twelve, and Jeremy and my father ganged up to con me. I had been so desperate for Jeremy to survive that I’d promised without thinking about it. We’d promise from young that if we didn’t have anyone else, at least we would still have each other.

I had forgotten about it, but Jeremy hadn’t.

Jeremy wasn’t going to.

“When you get better, you will find the perfect woman out there who loves you from the deepest corner of her heart. She’ll promise you everything you ever want. But you need to stay alive until then to see her. You need to fight to see her.” I promised, but it broke my heart even more that I couldn’t promise him what he wanted.

Jeremy closed his eyes tiredly, but a small smile drew across his lips.

“Will I see you at the end if I fight?” He whispered, and a single bead of tear escaped my eyes. Damn it, I had wanted to not cry before him anymore… but it was so hard.

“You will see me, Jeremy. You will see everyone who cares for you if you fight. Hayden, me and the girls. If you want anyone else here, I will call them here.” I promised him, because it was something –finally –that I could commit to. I could promise that I would be there for Jeremy until the end.

“It’s alright, Hays.” He took his hand away from my grasp, turning so that his back was to me. “All I need is for you to be at the end.”

I stood up, because it was clear that Jeremy wanted –needed –the sleep that was dawning on him.

“Hays.” He called quietly when he heard the door open, and I stopped at the door, turning to see his back still towards me. “Please be there at the end. I’m scared. I’m scared to see anything else at the end, other than you.”

The kid Jeremy broke to the surface again, and despite my determination not to cry, the tears did a free-fall down my cheeks. Jeremy… The man had been a young boy, fearful of life when he first met my family. He had been fearful of his future, uncertain whether he would live through the years, until he picked up conning from my father.

Endlessly, Jeremy had shared his fears with me, and me, being the superiorly-skilled one, had been there to comfort him. With me, Jeremy didn’t have reservations. He didn’t bother needing to have an ego or a reputation. Because with me, Jeremy was just Jeremy.

Even if we were both 27 now, it made no difference. It is as if we are 7 again.

But the difference between then and now is vast.

Because now...

I am scared too.