The sun hung low in the sky on that Sunday afternoon, casting a warm glow that hinted at the promise of a leisurely day. My husband, enjoying a rare day off, was due to call any moment now, eager to share the details of his weekend and inquire about mine. He was a gentle spirit, a man with a heart so generous that he embraced me wholly, despite the shadows of my past that lingered like ghosts.

I had made a solemn promise to myself: I would never let him down. I would invest as much into our relationship as he did, nurturing the bond we were building together.

Just as I was lost in thought, my phone chimed, and I knew it was him. I answered, the familiar sound of his voice washing over me like a warm breeze.

"Hey, my love!" His tone was vibrant, filled with an infectious enthusiasm that brightened my quiet afternoon. I couldn’t help but laugh at his exuberance.

"Did you skip out on weekend plans?" I asked, twirling a loose strand of hair around my finger.

"Oh no, we’re going out, but not just yet. I wanted to check in on you before heading out," he replied. This was one of the many things I cherished about him.

He struck the perfect balance—never too clingy, never overbearing. He allowed me the freedom to be myself while gently reaching out to maintain the connection between us.

On our first day as a married couple, we had shared a deep conversation, unraveling the threads of our pasts. Neither of us felt the pull of sleep; instead, we delved into our lives, revealing hopes and fears. Like any man, he had expectations for our marriage, but I could only promise my unwavering support and understanding. I asked for time to adjust, and he graciously accepted.

He expressed a desire to shower me with affection, and I found it impossible to deny him that joy.

Our conversation flowed for an hour and a half, filled with laughter and sweet words, until he reluctantly had to hang up, as a movie awaited him and his friends.

After we exchanged our goodbyes, his tender words lingered in my mind, and I smiled to myself, glancing at the wallpaper on my phone. It was a click from our wedding day.

On that day, I was blissfully happy, my smile a mask for the turmoil beneath. He, too, wore a grin, perhaps aware of the facade I was maintaining.

The aftermath of that incident cast a long shadow over the college, which remained closed for nearly a week. Her days were steeped in a heavy melancholy, a fog that seemed to cling to her very being. In her search for him, she scoured the depths of social media, and there he was, a presence both simple and beautiful. His posts were unpretentious, devoid of any arrogance or ostentation. It was as if he were a delicate verse of poetry, having slipped away from the enchanting realms of imagination.

When the next day finally broke, she awoke in a frenzy, her hair resembling a tangle of seaweed washed ashore. After a hasty shower and a hurried attempt to adhere to her morning rituals, she dashed downstairs, clutching her belongings, eager to reach college.

Anticipation coursed through her. Surely, he must have arrived by now. She found herself pondering the location of his home. Was he even from the same city? That thought brought a wave of disappointment crashing over her. No, I must remain optimistic, she told herself as she stepped out of her house.

As she approached the college gates, her eyes darted around, searching for that familiar chocolate brown. And then, there he was, not far off, engaged in conversation with a professor, discussing matters unknown to her.

In that instant, a surge of jealousy enveloped her. She envied everyone who had the privilege of speaking with him, of befriending him, of sharing the same space as him. Most of all, she envied that one person who held significance in his life.

All she longed for was the chance to stand beside him, to feel the warmth of his presence overshadowing her own. What a dream that would be. She sighed, resigned to her fate as she made her way to class.

Then, a troubling thought struck her. What if he was already in a relationship? That notion lingered in her mind throughout the day, a relentless specter that clouded her thoughts. She felt her focus slipping away. This fixation could very well jeopardize her semester. She needed to uncover the truth, yet what was the point if he was never meant to be hers?

She rested her head on the cool surface of the table, surrendering to the chaos that enveloped her classroom. The cacophony of her classmates' voices filled the air, each one recounting their latest relationship woes, a symphony of drama that was, quite frankly, maddening.

In that moment of exasperation, she glanced at her friend, who was keenly observing her plight. She understood her silent plea for escape, and together they embarked on a quest to uncover doubts about him.

As the day drew to a close, a wave of elation washed over her. He hailed from the same town, shared her department, and—most importantly—seemed to be devoid of any romantic entanglements.

But what if he despised girls and relationships altogether? Could that be the reason he had been staring at me in the hallway, perhaps out of irritation rather than interest?

Her thoughts spiraled into a whirlwind of possibilities until, in a moment that felt like fate, he appeared near the staircase. Their eyes met, and his expression was one of genuine surprise, a delightful look that sent her heart racing.

In that instant, it felt as if time had paused, and her heart skipped a thousand beat.

The diary consumed my thoughts, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, the night enveloped me like a thick, comforting shroud.

A message from my husband chimed in, announcing his arrival home and his impending retreat to sleep.

"Good night, love."

I lingered over his words, my gaze fixed on the screen, and my thoughts drifted back to the moment I said goodbye to Hassan.

"Take care..."

"There are times when I am convinced that I am unfit for any human relationship."

- Franz Kafka