Altar boy,

I understand how straightforward you are, so let me get this straight.

My heart bleeds with joy and sadness. Joy, because I finally found the courage to tell you what I've been holding back for a very long time. Sadness (just a little bit), because I know that there is really no hope for us.

We were never meant to be together.

As I reflect on my admiration for you, I find myself revisiting the moment we first met. Alam mo bang nakipagkarera sa mga kabayo ang puso ko? Weird, but true. You ignited a fire within me, evoking emotions I've never known. Like every butterfly in the universe has migrated to my stomach.

At that moment, hindi ko maunawan kung ano ang nangyayari sa akin kasi baguhan ako sa ganoong mga bagay. As I gaze upon your being and behold the grace of your deeds, the deeper my attraction grows. Long story short, I've found myself in a state of love.

Akala ko hanggang sa mga koreano, fictional characters, sa kanal at hagdan lang ako mahuhulog . . . sa iyo rin pala.

I've quietly admired you from a distance and discovered genuine joy and a sense of fulfillment in observing you. Your kindness, unwavering faith, acts of service and warmth have left a mark on me. Certified walking green flag ka, alam mo ba 'yon?

As moments goes by and in the depths of my heart, I've longed to pour out my feelings to you. . . but it seems that the stars never align for us.

Your clerical clothes look perfect on you.

For now, I'm relieved to release the sentiments locked within and unveil the emotions that have lingered in darkness for so long. I will never stand in the way or diminish the role you play as an instrument of God.

I will pray that you attain the desires you've fervently pray and the visions you've glimpsed of your future self.

Keep in your heart that my love for you is pure and devoid of expectation.

Take care of yourself, Ford.

-J