The F Word

~Rayne's POV

"I don't think so. That part of my life has been ended. Plus half of that stuff I can't even talk about. It's illegal!" Michael says over the phone. He and his manager were debating on whether or not Michael would be on Diane Sawyer for a live interview to talk about his cases.

"I guess it would give me a chance to clear my name and dispel all those rumors." He sighs. "fine. Set it up."

"She finally got you to do it huh?" I smirk, resting myself on his office desk. He nods, clearly not excited about it.

"This is gonna be Oprah times 20. I really don't wanna do this." He sighs. "I'm so tired of having to explain myself to the public. If you don't understand me.. You just don't. Simple as that." He shuffles some papers around his desk and stands.

I grab him and bring him to stand in front of me. "Look. Now it's just an idea.. But what if I go up there with you? Just to have your back." He instantly shakes his head.

"No no no. I don't think so."

"Well why not?"

"I don't want you to have be included in the  madness that is my life right now. I'm sure you're having trouble dealing with this level of press anyway. You never wanted this for you and I know you don't want this for Millie. She's about to start school this Monday. Let me deal with this by myself. You focus on her."

I roll my eyes. "I've been married to you for almost 5 years. I'm used to the press. Not to mention, my father is a fairly famous man. I'm a big girl, I can hold my own. I'm your wife, If I don't have your back, who else will? I'm going with you. There's nothing you can do about it." I smirk.

He chuckles, "why do I think I can tell you anything?" He kisses me before heading into the living room. "Speaking of 5 years.. What do you want to do for our 5th anniversary?"

I shrug, following him, "I don't know, surprise me." I smile sitting on his lap. "I can't believe it's been 5 years. I remember being drunk from wine coolers and trying to have sex with you on our 20th birthdays." I giggle.

"Trying? If my mind serves me right... We did." Michael scoffs.

"We did? I don't remember."

He nods. "I could always remind you.." He flirts, pushing his lips onto my neck, causing me to giggle

"Mommy, I can't find my tinker bell slippers." Camille whines, waking up from her nap, interrupting Michael and I.

"Well baby where did you leave them?"

"I don't know. I'm gonna go look in the toy room." She sighs, wiping her eyes and dragging her feet back upstairs.

"Is there anything you want?? Give me some kind of idea!" Michael continues. I shake my head. "I don't want anything except your love."

"You're so cheesy." He grins.

"I still can't find them!" She yells back downstairs.

I sigh. "I'm coming Camille." I go into the toy room to see her standing in the middle of the floor looking around. "Is this your idea of searching?" I chuckle, lifting the blanket to find her slippers. "I think it's about time we clean this toy room." I say examining the room. Toys laid all over the floor along with blankets and books, she had been taking advantage of the fact I didn't check on her as often anymore.

I grab her doll that was missing hair, most likely from one of Camille's famous haircuts. "Buggy, do you still play with this anymore or can we throw it out?" I ask.

"I don't care, I don't want that thing anymore. That doll's a freak!" She says tossing it to the side.

"Where did you hear that word?" I ask.

"TV with grandpa." She says innocently. "We were watching tv and they were talking about daddy. Then the man on the tv said 'freak' and grandpa cut it off. I was mad cause I wanted to keep listening to daddy. But grandpa said they weren't saying nice things."

"Freak is not a nice word and daddy would be very upset to hear you say it. Ok?" I explain.

She nods adorably. I couldn't even stay stern with her. I kiss her forehead and we continue to clean her toy room.

***
"Well if I have to answer questions, I don't want her to hold back. I'm open for anything except what I can't discuss." I overhear Michael say to his manager. "I need you to tell her people that my wife is willing to speak at the interview as well." After getting everything in order for his interview he releases the longest sigh.

I grin, "All set?"

He nods. "Just about. The interview is next week,  and I don't know if you've seen Diane Sawyer's interviews but she digs deep."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad." I shrug.

Michael scoffs and raises his eyebrows, "yeah you say that now.. As soon as she says something you don't like, you're gonna go nuts. Speaking of which, you've gotta watch your temper on this thing." He instructs.

I prop my head on my hand, "I don't have a temper." I say calmly. Michael flashes a look at me causing me to giggle. "Only if someone says something rude about you or if it involves my daughter.." I laugh.

Michael massages my temples with his fingers, "relax, that won't happen. This isn't a bashing session it's just an interview. No mean Rayne." He chuckles.

I playfully snatch my head away from his fingers, "whatever." I chuckle. He chews his bottom lip out of nervousness, a habit of his I've picked up on in our 15 years of knowing each other. "Stop doing that." I say, tugging his lip out of his mouth. He chuckles, "ok, I'm sorry."

~Michael's POV

Camille was practicing her reading to me on the couch as the TV blared in the background. She had been reading since she was 3 and now she's able to understand the words, I was so proud of her.

"Sin-synonym?" She asks

"Cinnamon.." I chuckle, "keep going you're doing great."

She folds the book closed and pouts, sulking into her seat.

"What's wrong? You were doing good?" I ask.

"I can't do it. I keep messing up the words."

"But that's okay, you're still learning. It's ok to mess up sometimes." I stroke her hair.

"But you don't mess up Daddy.."

"I've been reading for a long time. You will get there one day. Plus I mess up in other things." I tell her. I think Camille views her parents as almost perfect so I like to tell her we're just as human as she is. "When I practice for shows. I always mess up my dances. But that's why you keep practicing so you won't continue to mess up. Ok?"

"I'm gonna go to school and all the kids are gonna think I'm a freak because I can't read like them." She whines.

When that word came out of her mouth, my heart broke for her. I never want her to feel like she's that. "Hey, freak is not a nice word at all. Never use that word to describe yourself or anyone else. Now, When you go to school, there are gonna be kids just like you who may not have mastered reading. Some may not know how to read at all and that's ok. You go to school to learn new things. Ok?"

She nods. "Daddy can I ask you a question?" She asks innocently.

"Of course"

"What is a freak?"

I sigh, I didn't ever want her to even know this word existed, but with me being her father I should've expected she'd hear it on the news.

"How do I put this?" I ponder as she looks at me with wide, interested eyes. "Um. A freak is not real. It's just a really mean word that people call each other.. And they shouldn't. It's when you don't know about another person and you judge them wrong. It's a word that people use when they are scared of someone who is different than them. I don't like it, and you shouldn't use it. Understood?"

She nods again. "Can I try again on the book?" She asks. I grin and nod. "Fire away" I enthuse.

***
Usually any child would be excited to go on their first day of school, But Camille was a different story. We sat in Rayne's car as Rayne drove towards SoCal elementary school to take our baby girl to class. She sat in the backseat fumbling with her hands. "Mommy my tummy hurts" she whines.

Rayne smiles sweetly, "it's just butterflies sweetie, they'll go away once you get inside."

"Can I just stay home for one more day? Please daddy." She whines again.

"Honey I'm sorry, but you can't. You've gotta go to school. When you come home you'll feel much better and will be excited to go again. I promise you'll be ok." I turn to her seat in the back.

"You guys are gonna leave me here?" She asks.

"Only for a few hours, you won't even notice we're gone and when you come out we'll be right here waiting okay?" Rayne assures her as she pulled in front of the school.

Rayne grabs her hand and brings her to my side of the car to say goodbye for the day.

"Daddy you're not coming?" She says, a look of disappointment wilting her soft eyes. I wanted to walk her in but I wasn't exactly prepared to be "daddy Jackson" after this Rayne and I were headed straight to the interview so we were all dressed up.

"Not today Millie, I'll take you inside tomorrow okay? Now give me a hug." I open my door. She rushes into my arms hugging me tightly.

"I love you daddy" she says.

"I love you more Millie." I grin. "I'll see you later." I kiss her forehead as Rayne walks her inside the school.

Rayne wipes her eyes as she got back in the car.

"Oh God you didn't embarrass the poor girl did you?" I joke. She's been so emotional ever since she had Camille, so I poke fun at her all the time.

"Whatever don't judge me." She giggles, checking her eyeliner in the mirror.

***

We meet at the back door of the sound stage we would be interviewed on as the security let us in and showed us to our dressing room. Karen sat awaiting our arrival, her make up kit already in hand and hair kit lying on the counter. Luckily there wasn't much to be done, just some quick touch up's here and there.

"Rayne, your eyeliner is smudged just a bit, let me fix that." Karen notices.

"That's because she's a big baby. We dropped Camille off in school today and she cried." I tease.

Rayne tosses a balled up tissue my direction, "it's just she's already 5 and it feels like I had her just yesterday. She's growing up so fast." She chuckles.

"Five minutes guys, they're running the clips." The producer pops his head inside our room.

We go out and settle in the chairs labeled for us as Diane walks out to shake the both of our hands. The producer places the microphones on us and clips them to our shirts.

**this is basically the actual interview, only change is for the storyline.**

DS: And with me of course, Michael Jackson and Rayne Fleeson.

MJ&R: Thank you.

DS: I want to first ask you a few things about the charges. But first I want to establish for the viewers here that there are no ground rules. You have said to me that you are not afraid of any questions. So, I wanted that to be understood by everyone before we proceed. I think I want to begin by making sure that the terms are clear. You have said that you would never harm a child. I want to be as specific as I can. Did you ever, as this boy said you did, did you ever sexually engage, fondle, have sexual contact with this child, or any other child?

MJ: Never ever. I could never harm a child, or anyone. It's not in my heart, it's not who I am, and it's not what I'm...I'm not even interested in that. Besides, There was not one iota of information that they found, that could connect me...

R: There was absolutely nothing and they didn't make it seem like he was innocent. They made it seem like the police found all this information when they didn't. I just feel like it was to tarnish his name. Rayne rolls her eyes.

DS: Why did you settle the case, and, and it looks to everyone as if you paid a huge amount of money...

MJ: I was losing my mind, everyone wanted a piece of me so I asked my lawyers to just settle it, give the girl why she wanted which was money so I could go back to living my life and raising my daughter in peace.

DS: How much money was it?

R: He can't talk about that.. Legally he's been barred to discuss it.

DS: People saying, look, here is a man who is surrounded by things that children love. Here is a man who spends an inodrinate amount of time with these young boys...What is a thirty-six year old man doing, hanging out, with a twelve year old boy? Or a series of them?

MJ: Children love me, I love them. They follow me, they want to be with me. This particular child was going through hard times with his mother, I believe that loves heals all. So I...

R: Sorry Mike, Let me say this, this kid was staying on our ranch in his own home. But if Michael promised to do something with him, he was knocking on our door at 9 in the morning while we're eating breakfast or something. I can see where people would get those thoughts but...

I wasn't to fond of how many times Diane had cut Rayne off mid sentence.. It was starting to irritate me.

DS: But as an adult, wouldn't it be your responsibility...

MJ: Don't you wanna finish Ray?

R: Huh? Yeah.. I just wanted to say that I mean it got to the point where I took our daughter out just so he could spend uninterrupted time with this kid because he was so troubled.

DS: Okay, we're going to take a break now. When we come back Elizabeth Taylor talked to us a little bit about what she saw when she went over...and talked to you in the middle of this, and helped you get treatment for your addiction to painkillers.

Rayne didn't know about that so her facial expression to me was a look of shock. During the commercial break the silence was intense and the tension was very high between Diane and Rayne. She was doing well keeping her composure. I pecked her forehead to calm her before we were reintroduced.

DS: We have some wedding video of the two of you. And I'm gonna let you tell us a little bit about what we're seeing here...if our director Roger Goodman wants to roll it in...we will take you there, 5 years ago, right? Almost to the day!

R: I can tell you I'm a crying mess. Rayne giggles.

MJ: She was so happy. I reminisce.

DS: (clip ends) So...I know that you, Rayne, have wanted to talk about this. There are a lot of doubters about your daughter and your relationship with Michael.

Oh boy, I think to myself.

R: Yeah, I just don't understand what there is to doubt.. Can Michael not have children of his own? It's crap.

DS: People didn't believe this was a serious marriage for a long time. They thought it was a publicity stunt. This actually leads me to my next question that I'm honestly not to excited to ask. But the people wanted to know one thing.

R: Do we have sex?

MJ: she didn't ask! I chuckle covering her mouth, that was something completely private that I am very uncomfortable about in public. Diane plays a clip of 4 people asking that exact question.

Person 1: We wanna know, if you've done "the thing"?
Person 2: Michael, I know this is an intimate question, but are you having sex, together, with Rayne?
Person 3: Do you guys really love eachother or are you just doing this to satisfy the media?
Person 4: Are you guys intimate?

R: wow. We have a child together there's your answer. Yes! YES! Yes. She shakes her head in pure annoyance. I bite my lip nervously hoping she doesn't direct a question my way.

DS: there are rumors saying that your daughter was artificially inseminated...

R: Do people realize how stupid that sounds, Michael and I have been dating since we were 19 who fakes a relationship that long? It sounds dumb.

DS: How is the relationship between Michael and your child?

R: It's beautiful, she loves her father.

MJ: she's my baby girl..

R: Her first word was "Daddy" I mean, I don't understand why everyone is so worried about our life.

DS: what do you love the most about Michael?

R: I can't even pick one thing. He's amazing, I'm in love with him. I adore him. I love everything about him.

DS: As our hour ends I'd like to ask each of you for a one second answer...time's so short. Where do you want to be in five years?

MJ: Oh boy...uh, I love what I'm doing now, and to do everything I can to help the children. And hello Bobby Sherrit.

R: I just want people to know what they're dealing with, before...and understand that I'm not - that we're not - the jokes, the degrading comments, all that kind of stuff. It's really irritating. So, I didn't get to get in there...this is over already, but...um...

MJ: We want to choke them! Don't believe the garbage, all the tabloid junk. Don't read it. Don't listen to it. It's junk. It's stupid. Enough of it!

DS: And tonight is over.

"Thank God" Rayne sighs. She stands to remove her microphone as I help her. Diane stretches her hand out for a shake.

"Thank you both for the interview. I appreciate it."

"Thank you." I say politely as we head out the sound stage.

"Can you believe her?? 'Artificial insemination?' What are we aliens?" Rayne says slamming the car door. "God that was so irritating! I don't see how you do it Mike."

"Well it's over, we don't have to worry about it anymore. Now I have nothing but time to focus on you two and my album. Breathe. We're done." I pat her arm.

We pull back into the ranch and Rayne decides to take a nap setting an alarm to wake her up to pick up Camille from school. I go into the studio and begin re-listening to my old music to debate what to put on the box set of this album. I needed a mix of old and new music.

One song I wrote in Moscow came to mind as I fiddle with the production board creating different sounds.

"I was wandering in the rain..
Do do doo da da da daa.."

I hum. The music was hitting me at lightning speed. I love when this happens, I'm at my most productive and I just kept fiddling with the board. After the base was created I started to mess with the piano allowing the beat to loop over. I had so many ideas in my head I couldn't think. After a couple hours I started recording. I finally got all my ideas out and half the song was created. It was almost 3 so I cleaned up to prepare myself to get Camille.

When I stepped out Rayne was in the kitchen putting some cookies in a bag.

"Just in case she didn't enjoy her first day." She grins. I sat and watched her in the kitchen and all I could think about is how I could watch her be a mom over and over again.

"Let's have another baby." I blurt. Her eyes widened as she turned to look at me.

"What?" She chuckles. "I don't know Michael."

"why not? It's not like we don't have space or money." I shrug.

"But do we have time. You're making an album which means a tour, which means you're gone for another year and a half. Camille is gonna wanna go with you, and a new baby won't be able to go. Let's just stick with Camille for now" she smiles. "What makes you want another child anyway?" She leans on the counter.

I stand in front of her pinning her between me and the counter, "well, I love watching you be 'mommy' I don't want it to end, and soon it will once Camille is older. Not to mention, I like the process of trying as well." I flirt kissing her neck before she pushes me off.

"Let's go get your daughter before she loses her mind and sees we're not there." She giggles. "Such a flirt." She mutters.

We pull in front of the school and this time I have on a hat, glasses and surgical mask to cover my face. All of the kindergarten kids were lined up outside next to their teachers waiting for a parent to show their face. I watched as my baby girl anxiously gripped her book bag handles searching through a sea of cars to find us.

Rayne and I stepped out the car and Camille tapped her teacher to let her know she saw us.

"Mommy! Daddy!" She ran into my arms. She observed me for a while, "daddy, why are you dressed so silly?" She giggles.

"It's a disguise." I joke, she wouldn't understand the real reason why I had this stuff on.

"How was school buggy?" Rayne asked

"it was so much fun. We got to color and paint and draw, and we're learning our shapes and numbers." She says excitedly as I strapped her in her seat. Rayne passes her a bag with 4 cookies in it.

"I told you you'd like school." She smiles.

"So you've gotta teach mommy and I some new stuff now." I enthuse.

She nods her head while popping another cookie in her mouth.

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