Michael's POV

It was 2am and I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my bedside table, the bottle of blue pills staring back at me. I reached for it, but my eyes diverted to the photo of my wife and kids next to it. They looked so proud of me, so happy that they were apart of my life. How did I allow myself to fall this far down, so far that my wife left me to deal with this myself. I couldn't help but sob silently, ashamed of myself.

Then it hits my mind, I can take the whole bottle and this could all go away. I shake my head, "my kids.." I mumble. I let out a frustrated groan and began pacing the room, tossing the bottle away. I grab my phone to dial the only person I'd think that'd still be awake that I know I can talk to other than Rayne.

"Hello?" The voice answers gruffly.

"Bill, it's Michael.. did I wake you?" I ask.

"No, you know I'm always awake. That's why I always covered the night shift for you... everything alright?" He says.

"No.. I'm really struggling..." I explain, telling Bill everything that's been happening with me since he left.

"Ok, listen to me. You know how much you mean to your family. You went through rehab once.. you can do it again Mike. Don't let this get the best of you."

I sigh, staring at the trash can where my pills sat. "Bill.. I want to stop.. but it's killing me to only see my kids once a week. Rayne will barely speak to me. The stress is making this harder."

I talked to Bill for about 3 hours, simply crying and pushing myself further and further away from the pill bottle that sat in my bathroom trashcan. With absolutely no sleep, I took a shower and got dressed, prepared for another day in the studio. I covered my dark, tired eyes with shades and hopped in the truck quietly, while Leroy shoved my bag in the trunk. I was due to go to New York in a few hours to continue recording. Even after my two week break, I still wasn't ready.

I was so desperate for Rayne to call me I even started carrying my cell phone. My daughter called me more than Rayne did, I didn't mind, I just really want to hear Rayne's voice.

"You get any rest last night, Boss?" Leroy asked, his eyes peeking in the rear view.

I sigh, "no. None..", I looked down at my vibrating phone to Rayne's name lit up on the front screen.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hi daddy!" Camille replies. "Mikey and I miss you!"

I smile, "I miss you guys more, How are you two?"

"We're ok. How are you?"

"Better, now that you've called." I hesitate for a while before asking. "How's your mom?"

"Hang on, I'll let you talk to her.." Camille says, and before I could object the phone was passed to Rayne.

"Hello?"

"Uh.. Camille thought I wanted to talk to you, I only asked how you were.." I chuckle awkwardly.

"Oh, I'm fine. How are you doing?" She asks quietly.. at least she still cares enough to ask.

"I'm getting better.. two weeks clean.. "

".. that's good, keep it up... I'm proud of you." She says, the silence thickening between us.

"Well. I'm gonna be out of town for the weekend. I'm going to New York to record. If you three wanna come up..." I ask.

"I don't know Mike. We might distract you... besides, we'll see you Tuesday. Mikes first birthday, remember?"

I chuckle, "trust me I could use the distraction, But I remember. I've gotta go Ray... tell the kids I love them."

"Ok.. " she sighs, "hey mike, I love you babe.."

My eyes shut to take in that statement, cherishing every piece of each word, hoping it will carry me through the next time we speak. "I love you more Ray."

"Have a safe trip. Let me know you get there safe." She responds before hanging up.

The flight from California to New York was always long, my flight attendant offers me my "coke" and I kindly accept, this time I can drink it from a glass since there's no kids. I hoped it would put me to sleep and I was right.

***

After dropping off my things in the hotel I'd be staying in for the weekend, I walked into the studio meeting producer Rodney Jerkins, to listen to the track he had prepared. I sat in the office chair twirling in it while he played the song.

"I swear this is gonna be a hit..." he enthuses bobbing his head with the tune.

"I don't know Rodney, this just isn't me..it's not my style." I frown.

"It's the style, this is what's hot right now. The heavy beat, the violins, this is actually perfect. I couldn't imagine anyone other than you singing this. This song screams swagger..it screams you." Rodney says flipping the track off.

I chuckle, "swagger.. yeah I've been told I have lots of that.. what ever it is." I place my hand to my chin. "Let me think about it overnight and when we meet tomorrow, we'll see how it goes." I urge him to play it again, nodding my head slowly.

Leading myself back into my hotel room, Raymone gives me a list of things I have within the next two hours. I listen until I get to my room door, still feeling the effects of jet lag.

"Are you gonna be ok?" She asks, watching me walk in the room.

"Yeah, I'll be fine.. just wanna get some rest before we head back out." I sigh, shutting the door behind me.

***

Rayne's POV

With Michael and I physically separated, I have to say it was a little hard to do everything by myself. I had no time for myself, no peace and definitely no rest. No matter how much I wanted to go home and hop in my own bed instead of sleeping in my father's, I was doing this for Michael's own good. Camille was getting restless and could only help as much as a 7 year old could. She still couldn't understand why we weren't living back at home yet after almost a month.

"Mom do you still love daddy?" She asks at the dinner table.

I place my fork on my plate, "of course I do, why'd you ask that?"

"We don't live in the same house as him anymore... and we don't see him everyday. How come we can't go home?" She asks.

I sigh, it had to be explained sooner or later. I just needed to find a way to say it. "Daddy has a lot of things to work on.. and some of the stuff he has to work on by himself.."

"Well how long is it gonna take. I like pop pop's house but I miss my room." She grumbles, popping her fry in her mouth.

"I don't know how long it will take. Besides it's not like you don't see him.. we'll see him Tuesday for Mike's birthday." I say trying to cheer her up.

"I'll be happier when we get to stay there." She says, taking her plate to the kitchen. I heave another sigh, she's not gonna understand right now.

Michael pushes his plate away, "All done Mike?" I grin.

He smiles giving me one of the two words he knows. "Yes"

Later that evening, I sat on the couch watching an old episode of the Three Stooges, a show Michael had shown me when we were only 20. I get up to open the door to Derrick a big grin on his face. "I brought wine." He smiles.

"Come on in. You have no clue how much I need it." I smirk back, sitting back on the couch.

"That's why I'm here to check on you. You've been hard to reach. What's going on?" He asks sitting beside me.

"I just needed time alone. I still couldn't get it.." I chuckle at the show, "this is Michael's favorite show. He'd laugh so hard.. I miss him so much." I sigh.

"Then go home Ray.. you know he's trying. It's no need to torture the both of you. Your kids miss him.."

"I know he's trying but I don't want him to depend on me.. because it'll hurt me even worse if he relapses again." I shake my head.

***

That Tuesday, on Michael Jr's birthday, Doug pulled up to the ranch opening the door for Camille to hop out. "Daddy!" She yells joyously, running into his arms as Michael follows.

His arms grip around our two kids tightly, "I missed you two!" He released them and looked to me. He looked a lot healthier, but like he still wasn't sleeping. If that's the case, that means he's not using those pills.

"Hi Michael." I smile, "you look good."

"Thanks.." he grins, his arms embracing me in a long hug, while his lips pecked my cheek softly. "Ready to see what daddy's got for you today?" He says picking up Michael and heading inside the house.

Michael Jr's face was priceless, his favorite character, Morph, was lined all over the living room walls. Morph was only our son's favorite because he was Michael's favorite, once he gets older I'm sure he'll switch.

I giggle, "Mike, you did this?"

"Of course..anything for my kids."

Throughout the time we spent, everything felt normal, like we were a family again and I almost didn't think about going back to my father's.

I put the kids in their rooms for the night, letting them stay over and head for the door to leave. "I'll come get them in the morning.." I yawn.

"Why don't you just stay home tonight? What'll it hurt?" Michael says, hanging onto my hand. Realizing the hesitation in my face he sighs, "at least sit and talk with me for a while. I miss you.."

Michael and I sit next to each other on the couch and I lean my head on his shoulder grasping his hand. "Today went pretty well.." he starts.

"It did.." I sigh. "We've got two kids Mike.."

"I know right!" He chuckles, "we're almost 45.. Camille is turning 8 soon.. our baby is 1. Jeez.. we're getting old."

I laugh, "guess so.. You know Camille asked me, if I still love you?"

"Do you?" He asked.

"You're not serious.." I say lifting my head to look at him, my brow raised.

He pecks my lips, "this past month has been hell.." he leans his forehead on mine. "But I'm working hard."

I nod my head, "I know. I can tell. I'm proud of you." I stand to leave, pecking his lips and walk towards the door.

"So what'd you say?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"What'd you say when Camille asked if you still loved me?"

I grin, "what do you think? I love you Mike." I shut the door and head back to my father's