Conflicted Thoughts


Michael's POV

I've gotta be honest, I had gotten so used to the quiet of an empty house, the first morning with Rayne and the kids did not wake me up in the most pleasurable mood. Between Michael's crying, Camille's laughter and Rayne singing in the shower, I growled loudly as I woke up.

"What are you grumbling for?" Rayne asks, stepping out the bathroom, with her towel wrapped around her.

"It's loud. I've been trying to fall back to sleep but it's like noise after noise." I whine.

She simply giggles, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "Aren't you so glad we're home?" She smiles.

I let out a whine before slamming my head back into the pillows and under my blanket. "Camille wants to have a sleep over for her birthday.." I hear Rayne say, pulling her shirt over her head.

"Oh god. I knew this would come.." I sigh. I wasn't gonna deny her the opportunity to have friends over. I never had that chance, but the thought of little girls up giggling all night, no sleep for me. "I guess it's ok.." I hesitate.

"Don't worry, she's already told me no boys allowed so you and Mike have to steer clear."

"I have no problem with that." I yawn.

"Daddy, can you make Mikey and I some breakfast?" Camille says, holding her little brother's hand. He pulls away to run to Rayne's lap.

"I think Daddy is sleepy.. I'll make you something.." Rayne says, giving me a grin.

"But I want daddy to make breakfast. You always make-"

"I'll do it.." I stretch, "they haven't had my cooking in a while. I don't mind." I say. "But you're about to be eight. I don't like whining.." I explain to Camille with a stern look.

"Ok..." she replies. "Come on Mikey!" She says and they follow me towards the stairs, I grab Michael and place him on my hip to continue downstairs to the kitchen.

"Did mom tell you I'm having a sleepover for my birthday?" Camille asks.

I sigh, "yeah she did.. how many girls are we inviting??" I ask.

"Well, there's Yaya, Angel, Khloe, Bianca, Lucy.." she counts out. I frown because she was missing a name I was used to hearing. "What about Maria?" I ask.

"Oh! Yeah Maria, of course. She's my best friend!" She giggles sitting at the table. "But that's it. Mom said only 6 friends. I wanted to invite more but I just invited everyone I'm closest to." She shrugs.

"You're pretty popular in school huh?" I grin, placing an egg in the waffle batter.

"I guess so.. people think it's so cool that you are my dad. They think I rode all the rides in the backyard and pet all the animals.. I told them you only let me pet the giraffe, but they don't believe me." She sighs, "Lucy has a picture of you on her notebook. She says you're gonna marry her." She laughs, "I told her that's not gonna happen because you love mommy."

I giggle, "Yes I do.." I was so used to little girls having crushes on me, I thought it was adorable. I'm just glad they were old enough to appreciate me and my music. I place Michael in his high chair and place his plate of cut up waffles on his tray.

"Daddy, can I cut my own waffle?" Camille says, throwing me off, I usually cut her waffle into a shape of a heart because for some strange reason she doesn't like the edges of the waffle; So I found a creative way to give her waffles.

"You sure, you don't want the heart shaped waffle?" I ask, she shakes her head no, kind of breaking my heart. "Be careful with this knife ok?" I say cautiously handing her the dulled butter knife.

I leaned on my kitchen counter watching her cautiously cut her waffle. I know it was only a butter knife but it was a knife none the less, it could at least scratch her. Rayne walks in the kitchen and finds me staring at Camille.

She giggles, "first time seeing Camille with a knife?"

"It's not her first time with it?" I ask in shock.

"No.. I taught her how to cut her food last month." She laughs, "why do you think she's so good at it?" She continues, mixing ingredients for more waffle batter.

"She didn't want me to cut her waffles into a heart.." I let out a small whimper, "my baby girl is growing up.."

Rayne shakes her head, laughing and grabbing a plate for herself. "Have you eaten yet?" She asked looking at me.

I shake my head and she instantly grabs a plate for me as well. "I'm not hungry Ray.."

"Eh eh eh, don't wanna hear it." She interrupts. "You need to eat, you're so thin.. skin and bones!" She points at my arms and the small portion of my rib cage showing.

I chuckle, "I'm clearly not in charge anymore am I?"

"No.." she smiles, turning her head to me. I chuckle, leaning down and kiss her before heading upstairs to shave and shower.

"Ewwwww" Camille grimaces at the sight of us kissing.

"Ewwwww." Michael echoes.

"Come here so I can kiss both of you with your sticky faces!" I tease pecking both of their giggling cheeks.

***

I had Teddy Riley meet me at my studio and disappeared into my office for the day. While I waited, I had received a call from David Guest, a good friend of mine. He'd been trying to get in touch with me for a few weeks but because of my problems, I haven't been around.

"I'm sorry I'm just getting back with you David, it's been pretty hectic around here and I'm just catching up with all of my phone calls."

"I left a few messages with your assistant Raymone, but I totally understand."

"No, yeah, I know..she told me you were excited to share something with me." I inquired.

"I have a huge idea, I've been trying to figure out a way to get my production company off the ground. Liza had this amazing idea to produce a show honoring your long and successful career in music."

I had been honored so many times, I thought another show would be redundant. Although, this would be something that I could show my kids, well at least Camille. "David, I don't know.. it's been done so many times before.." I start.

"Yeah, but not this way.. I'm thinking we hold the event in 2001 so that gives us 2 years to prepare. We'll have some artist perform your music, their music. We'll give tribute to your legacy. Fans will be there to support, and it'll be aired on TV. Liza said she'll even perform." He enthuses.

"Liza will perform?" My eyes light up, Liza Minnelli was a dynamic performer and another dear friend of mine. "In two years, I'll be 43... 30 years in the industry.." I sigh, feeling as old as I sound. "Well I plan on releasing an album by late 2001.. maybe October. Would there be a way to throw in a few promotions for the album?" I ask.

"I mean.. if you'd like to perform as well..." he trails off. I knew this would lead to me having to perform.

"Since this is celebrating your career, we have to go back to the j5 days.. maybe a small reunion performance from you and the brothers??"

I roll my eyes.. a reunion performance. It may be fun, but when we get together to perform, we always bump heads. I wasn't looking forward to that. I rub my temple, "I dunno David.. we'll talk more about it later.. It sounds like a nice event.." I knew he could hear the hesitation in my voice.

"Well get back to me on it. I'm excited. I feel like this will help you get back in the spotlight. I'll talk to you later." He says as he hangs up. I massage my temple as Teddy walks in, "Hey Michael, everything all good?" He asks removing his shades.

"Yeah, business stuff.. let's head to the studio." I respond, leading him to the back of my office where the secluded studio was located.

***

Rayne's POV

Being back home was easier than I thought. The kids readjusted really well and honestly, so did I. I think we all really wanted to be back home, so we just snapped back into our normal lives. I only hoped that I wouldn't have to leave again. I sighed, still cleaning the mess Michael had made during the time we weren't here.

Finally getting to the den where the kids played, I piled the toys in the corner where their toy boxes were, before I heard a loud screech from upstairs. "EWWWWWWW, MOMMY!!!"

I bolted upstairs to see Camille covering her eyes and little Mike giggling with his diaper in his hand. I doubled over in laughter. "Michael why is your diaper off? You've scarred your poor sister." I laughed loudly, picking him up to take into his room.

"He just took it off and started laughing." Camille followed. "What if he does it at my sleepover?" She worries.

"Don't worry, he won't, He'll be with Michael.." I giggle again, placing a fresh diaper on him. "Don't take this off little boy." I chuckle placing him back on his feet.

"This wouldn't ever happen if I had a sister." Camille rolls her eyes, heading back to her room.

"Aww Camille don't be that way." I giggle, watching her huff back into her room.

***

"I'll have to double check with Michael, I know he's got another trip to New York scheduled for tomorrow.. he's been traveling a lot because of his album. But I'd love to go." I tell Derrick. He invited me to come out with Lea and him to support a mutual friend from high school, Andre. He opened an art gallery here in LA and his art was getting pretty popular. I didn't really keep in touch with him but it'd be nice to see him again.

"Great we were all gonna ride together since it's only the three of us. Plus, I know you don't like the big fuss of taking a guard with you everywhere you go. Unless Michael comes.. then you kinda have to." Derrick laughs

"Ok. I'll call you back after I talk to Michael." I smile, ending the call. I walk into Michael's office after putting Michael down for a nap. He and Teddy were just finishing up their recording session.

"Oh good, I'm not interrupting anything.." I smile.

"No never. We were just finished. What's going on Ray?" Michael asked sweetly as Teddy excused himself out.

"I just wanna know what time your flight leaves in the morning. We've been invited to a gallery opening in LA tonight. He's an old friend from high school, derrick's dragging me to come." I giggle.

"Oh I'd love to go, but I leave at 3 in the morning; so I want to get all the sleep I can. Please tell your friend congratulations for me."

I nod, "ok, I'll send the kids over to Rebbie's for the night, She won't mind watching them.."

"I'll have Leon take them over before he takes me to the airport." Michael says, kissing my forehead. "I hope you enjoy the gallery. I know how much you love art." He says sitting at his desk

I smile widely, "I'm excited." Closing his office door behind me.

***

I file into the car with Lea and Derrick, fixing the dark red lipstick on my lips. "No Michael?" Derrick asked peering through the rear view.

"No" I sigh, "his flight leaves really early so he's gonna take the kids to his sister's and be on his way to the east coast by 3."

"He's gonna miss some great art!" Lea exclaims as we pull off.

"I know! He's a really good artist himself." I explain. I'm pretty sure Lea and Derrick didn't invite me to listen to me talk about Michael and how great he is. Even though I could talk about him all night if allowed. "So who is Andre again?" I ask Derrick.

"He went to high school with us, he was a real average guy. You'll remember him when you see him."

When we finally pulled in, Andre met us at the door. His brown eyes gleaming with a smile as our headlights pulled in front of him. "Finally, a familiar face." He says, wrapping an arm over Derrick's shoulder. "Is this Lea? Derrick she's gorgeous." He smiles, his teeth white and covered with a perfectly sculpted smile.

He gives me a double take, his eyes give me a once over. "Is THIS who I think it is?" He says.

My eyes shift, still unfamiliar with who he was.

"Rayne Fleeson, no way!" He outstretched his arms for a hug.

"Hi" I respond politely. "I wish I'd remembered you.. Derrick says we went to high school together."

"Yeah we did, it's so good to see you! Everybody come in. I hope you guys enjoy my pieces. I'll see you in a few." He grins heading inside.

Derrick and Lea were so cuddled up, felt like a third wheel. I drifted off on my own to look my former classmates pieces of art. I stopped in front of this painting that looked like my daughter. "A child at play." Andre says behind me, startling me. "Not for all the lovey dovey?" He chuckles pointing at Lea and Derrick who were so engulfed in each other their lashes were practically touching.

"Nah.. this painting is beautiful." I grin.

"Thank you.." he says standing beside me. "I can't believe you don't remember me." He laughs.

"I know I'm sorry, I'm so bad with names."

"It's fine I was a pretty quiet kid, we never spoke. I just thought you were really cute." He laughs.

"You did?" I smirk. "I tend to get that a lot." I flip my hair playfully.

We both laugh, "you still look great." He says

"Thanks, I try." I reply. He and I walked through his gallery and I learned more about him. He explained his college years and told me about his inspiration for each piece. He was actually a pretty interesting individual. As we were leaving he walked me back to the door.

"It's so nice to catch up.. listen, I don't live out here but call me. I may be in town, we could grab food or something." He says handing me his number.

"Ok.. I'd like that." I smile, I feel him move his lips forward less than inch away from mine. I turn my head, giving him a small smile. "I'm married.. Andre." I explain.

"Really?" He asked. I nod quietly, holding my ring finger up, "really.. with two kids."

"Oh.." he stops, "well, doesn't mean we can't be friends right?" He smiles awkwardly. I nod equally as awkward.

"I'm gonna go." I sigh.

Andre waved me out quietly, and all I could think about is what almost happened. I sat in the backseat really confused and I was actually relieved Michael wasn't gonna be home when I got there. It gave me a chance to think.

That's the end of this book, thank you very much for continually reading and I plan on starting the final book to this story soon. So stay tuned. I'll post in this book when the first chapter is posted!

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