Rayne's POV

Michael's back injury was driving him crazy, he wanted to get up and move around but I wouldn't allow it. The quicker he recovered the faster he'd get off those pills. I hated how they made him act; He was practically a zombie.

His injury also left me to pretty much do everything on my own. Lea and Elizabeth would come over once and a while to help, but I was taking the brunt of the work.

"Mommy, Michael's crying again.." Camille says,   "I put his pacifier in his mouth but he keeps spitting it out.."

I sigh, "he's probably hungry." Grabbing a bottle out of the fridge to heat up, I hear a whimper of pain behind me.

"Don't worry I've got it babe." Michael says, wincing.

"You can barely stand up. Michael, I've got it." I protest.

"I wanna spend some time with my son. I'll feed him. Keep him in the room with me that way you won't have to worry about him." He groans, clutching his back. I hesitated for a while, giving him a once over.

"I'll bring him to you so you don't have to carry him.." I sigh.

He nods and slowly heads upstairs with the bottle. Letting Michael watch the baby did make things a lot easier for me but taking care of literally everyone in the house was exhausting.

***

"I'm sure she'll lose her mind as soon as she sees you.." I smile at our unexpected guest, "Camille! Come look who's here." I call.

"Daddy and I were watching a movie. He had to pause on the best part.. BILL!!" She sprints down the stairs into his arms.

"Oh my god, look at you! You're so tall now! How long have I been gone?" Bill smiles hugging Camille tightly. "Where's Michael?" He asks.

"Oh, upstairs.. he hurt his back a few weeks ago he's been drugged up and bedridden ever since." I say a little more annoyed than I intended to sound.

"I heard about that. So how are you doing, taking care of two kids and Mike. How are you resting?" Bill asks, as Camille cuddles into his chest.

"Until Michael is back to normal, there is no rest. I'll live through it. He's helping as best as he can with 'little mike' but it's cut into our privacy." I sigh. "I don't think he'd mind if you wanted to go say hi."

"Yeah I think I will.." he says traveling upstairs with Camille practically tied to his hip.

Once Bill finished his visit, he gave me a hug, "get some rest Ray. You need a break." I nod before closing the door. I don't think I can express how tired I really am. After getting the kids to bed, I flop beside Michael, causing him to wake up. "What's wrong" he muffled sleepily.

I lean on my side, "nothing. Sorry to wake you up." I sigh staring at him.

He strokes my cheek softly, "you are such a strong woman. I know you're tired.." he grips my arms around him and pulls me into his arms as best he can, resting his head on mine. His heartbeat hummed through my ears, easing my tired thoughts and serving as a lullaby to my mind.

Michael had finally gotten to the point where he was able to walk around without being in too much pain but he would still take his pain pills. All he would do was sleep and change the baby whenever he was awake.

It still felt like I was doing everything alone. I didn't want to speak about it but after being held in... "Michael I need a break.." I blurt.

"From what?"

"This.." I say vaguely.

"What are you saying?" He asks.

"Mike I'm tired, I've been keeping this house together all by myself, and I know you've been hurt for the past few months but I just can't do this anymore I'm exhausted. I need a break."

"You wanna leave me?" He asks fearfully.

I didn't know how to answer him, I didn't wanna leave him. But I didn't want to be around right now.. I wanted to just disappear even if it was for a few weeks.

"I don't understand Rayne..why?"

"I don't know, I'm just thinking about a lot and I just need a break.."

"...well, if you need some time alone.. I can't deny you that." Michael sighs. "What about the kids?" He asks.

For some reason after that, I snapped "that's exactly why I need a break.. I have to figure everything out myself. Camille and Michael have two parents not just me! You figure it out. I can't do everything Michael..." I yell.

"Ray, where is this coming from?" Michael frowns.

"Me, it's coming from me. I'm tired of being the 'housewife' I'm tired of having to be the one that stays home and takes care of everyone and nobody takes care of me. My own mother didn't take care of me! The only person who did was my father and he's gone." I rant as tears began rolling down my cheeks. Michael attempted to hug me but I pushed his arms away deciding then and there to leave.

"Ray!" Michael called out before I shut the door behind me.

***

I opened the door to the place my father called home, feeling his presence as soon as I shut the door. The heat of the house comforting me, It almost felt like the first hug I received from my dad when I moved in with him. I let a small peaceful smile play on my face as I walked through the living room.

Heading into my room, I look out that side window where the Jackson's backyard was clearly seen and thought of my life and how it changed. But right now I was thinking, or trying to figure out, if it was for the better or for worse.

My father's room door always stayed closed as well as his office. But I opened his door and entered quietly like a child sneaking through a parents things.

His scent was still there, Very light but still there and it caused me to break down into tears. Leaning onto his bed and hold his pillows tightly. Trying to hold on to the little scent of him I have left.

I never thought I'd be here, but this was all pent up from the stress of being "Michael Jackson's Wife" I had no choice but to deal with everything he did. I loved him and I still do, but after over 20 years together, maybe this time a part was needed. I came to my father's because this is where I'd run to if things got way too overwhelming for me. But I needed him to give me the guidance to know what to do next. I was lost and in mourning at the same time.

***

Michael's POV

"Rayne.. please call me back.. whatever is bothering you, we'll fix it. We always have." I hang up hiding my exasperation behind the doors of my, no, our, room. Until I was interrupted by a small knock recognizably my daughter.

"I'm home daddy. Mommy isn't home?" She asks innocently. "She usually puts out a snack for me when I get home.."

"Uh.. no she's not. I'll cook dinner in a little while, ok?" I reply. She nods before closing the door behind her. I grab Michael and bring him downstairs with me placing him in his bouncer. While I started on dinner, the phone rang, I frantically answered, trying my best to multitask.
"Babe?"

"Um no.. that's how you answer the phone? Now I see why Rayne is the only one who picks up." Janet's voice echoed through the phone.

"I was expecting a call from Rayne.."

"I was calling for Rayne, she's not home?"

I hesitated, clutching the bridge of my nose, "...No"

"Where is she?"

"I don't know" I sigh telling her about what happened before she left.

"And you tried her cell?" She asks

"I tried everything Dunk.. I don't know what I did wrong.. she was talking about her father and I got worried."

"Why?"

"When her father died, she tried to kill herself. I mean she just had the baby. I don't know, maybe she was having those thoughts again. I'm just worried.. it's getting late and Camille is gonna start getting worried."

"I'll call Jackie, he lives close to mother. Maybe he could swing by and check if she's at her dads house."

I sigh, agreeing and just hoped to hear the best. I sat with Camille at the dinner table, feeding a bottle to Michael, my expression practically blank.

"Daddy, when's mommy coming back." She asks.

"She should be home when you wake up in the morning.. finish your dinner."

Once the kids were in bed, I paced my room staring at the house phone and my cell phone sitting on the bed. It wasn't until 2in the morning I gave up. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep so I popped a pain pill and drifted away.

***
"Daddy, mommy still isn't home.." Camille whines, shaking me awake. I groan quietly, "ok.. let's get you ready for school."

I had Karen come and help Camille with her hair and explained the entire situation. "That just doesn't sound like Rayne... why would she just UP and leave?"

"I don't know. I'm worried. She hasn't called me back..."

"I don't know what to tell Camille.." I sigh. Karen offers to stay and watch Michael while I try and figure out where Rayne disappeared off to. I was so stressed with this entire situation I just popped another pill.

"Mike you look like hell.." I hear my room door reopen, and Jackie entered. My eyes dried from what I'm guessing is tears I squint at Jackie and Janet's figures in the doorway.

"I feel like hell. Please tell me you've heard from Ray..." I mumble.

"She's at her father's... I didn't talk to her but I know she's there. I saw her in the window. She's really depressed Mike..." Jackie says quietly.

"What's she doing, how does she look..." I ask.

"Blank. Sad...she's just sitting there." He sighs.

"It might be PTSD..." Janet chimes. "Women get that after they have kids.."

"...I don't get it she was fine after Camille.."

"She needs help mike.. women can't go through that on their own.."

I groan, I didn't know how to deal with anything like this. I decided to just go to the house. Jackie, Janet and I pulled into her father's driveway and before the car could even stop I hopped out. Desperate to at least see Rayne's face. Just as Jackie said she sat on the couch staring at the wall. Her eyes calm but you could tell she was hurting. I banged on the glass enough to get her attention and she buried her head into her knees, turning away from me.

"Please let me in.." I press up against the glass.

She stood up and walked to the door allowing me inside and didn't say a word. I didn't say anything either, I sat on the couch and just looked at her. She had all these old photos of her father around her. "He was the only one who cared for me.."she mutters; Her voice almost incomprehensible.

When I actually think about things, she never had the chance to grieve. She bottled it up; she bottles everything up. She was really struggling more than I thought she was. "He loved you ray. He really did."

She nods sniffling. "More than anything.." there was a familiar photo I picked up to look at and it caused me to chuckle.

"Remember this? I took you on the red carpet for the first time. Your dad was snapping pics like crazy."

She cracks a smile,"I was so annoyed. But I'm glad he did it.. I miss him so much Michael.." she sighs, leaning her head onto my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I should've paid attention.. I didn't know you were struggling with this."

"You wouldn't have known.. I didn't mean to lash out on you like that.. you know I'd never leave you. I love you too much."

"If you're ready to come home.. you know you can.. your daughter misses you. I miss you too."

"I miss my babies too.. Just.. give me another day. I'll be home tomorrow, I promise." She struggles. "I just need a small vacation."

I sigh, kissing her forehead.