"You are bright. So bright that I can't at you. You're nice. You're a beautiful soul and mine is too repulsive. The serenity lies inside you and me, my head is filled with chaos. You're too perfect for me."

I remember the words you said when you left me.

You said I was bright. But didn't you know it was your own light. My heart was plunged into darkness before I met you. I couldn't see anything or feel anything. The darkness kind of hid somewhere when you were with me. The spark of your light lit my whole world.

You said I was a nice. But didn't you know, I actually was evil from inside? Didn't you know how fallen I was? No you didn't, of course. How could you? Those sweet eyes of yours always refused to see me that way. They was why when I looked at you, I felt this intense desire to be nice too so that one day, I'll make you proud. I tried my best to be that way. For you honey, for you!

You said I was beautiful soul and you were repulsive. Didn't you know how idiotic you were being when you said that? That ugly hatred had trampled upon my garden of my soul before you planted those beautiful roses on it. It was like a treasure to me, the gift of the goddess. It was all your doing.

You said I was serene. But didn't you know of the voices in my head that continued to eat me up. They shrieked and screamed in my lonely days. I was insane. But then you came along. I swear that whenever you hugged me, I could hear soft lullabies of your heart and it would ease those voices. You were the one who kept me sane.

You said I was so perfect and you weren't. But didn't you know that I had thousands of scars, carved deep in my heart? It could feel it's pain radiating out of my chest. It was you who refused to see them as my imperfections. It was you who covered them. It was you who healed them. You were the one who made me smile again, with all my heart.

Didn't you realize that if I was all the things you said, I would have stopped you. But I didn't. I couldn't. Back then, I could only understand that you were leaving me. Those words, they hurt. Your declaration of leaving me, it hurt. The sound of your footsteps, it hurt. The sight of your long hair, dancing with the winds as you walked away, it hurt. The silence that followed, it hurt. It still does.

Now that you're gone, I've become like myself again. My world is dark because your light doesn't shines in there. The nice guy, I once had become, died soon. My head is all hazy and ruined. Those wounds have opened up. Those roses you planted. There's no one to take their care anymore. They're rotting away, slowly, right in front of my eyes and I can't do anything to save them. It freaking hurts.

I wonder, what would happen if you see me like this? I no longer an bright enough for you to worry about yourself. I no longer an nice or serene or perfect.

I wonder if you'll be back.