How could you do that? How could you? Didn't you feel anything. How the hell did you become so freaking cold?... Just kidding. I know it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done that. Someone else must have forced you. You were always kind. I knew it when I first saw you, sitting on the chair, with a smile on your face. Sleepless nights were giving me terrible headache. I didn't know why but your smile made me kinda relieved. I had come to ask you for help. I was unable to keep going on with life the way I was. I felt a spark in my heart when you asked me to tell you my problems. I felt I could just bare myself to you. And I did. I had come to you just to get some meds for sleep but ended up yelling you everything. You listened to me without uttering a word, about my depression, insomnia, headache, anxiety. When I was done, you said gently that it'll be alright and I believed you in an instant. I was in love with you. You never gave me sleeping pills that day but I was still able to take a nap. When I woke up, I knew I was in love with you... I remember I asked you for dinner on my second visit. And you gladly accepted. I waited for you outside your room two hours straight. I was worried you might be too tired. You were of course tired after a long day. How I envied your strength that you still had dinner with me with a smile as radiant as ever... I went to hospital again today. There I met your friend who wanted to know how you are. You should have informed her at least. But as I talked to her, she revealed your secret to me, I guess it was unintentional. I broke down when I found about your decision. I was angry at first. But I don't hate you do that. I really don't. Because when I thought about it, I found that it was all me. I pushed you to the extent where you had to choose that... Things were never wrong when I was with you. Everything felt alright. Like the missing piece of a puzzle known as my life. It felt so heavenly. You started healing my depression, magically without meds. But little did I know it wasn't magic. I was draining you. You were using your own parts to compete me. It must have been hard for you to be there for me whenever I needed you. I pulled you down and showed you the hell I had gone through and you, you pushed me out of there and took my place... Now I think about it, you never complained. Was I just a patient who was too messed up and whom you desperately wanted to save? Why didn't you just best some sense into me instead? I thought it was mutual but was I wrong? I want answers honey but I don't think answers are going to solve anything now. Because the truth is I didn't care for you enough. I was selfish and thought by myself that I could make you happy. I was greedy when so much love came into my life. But I never thought of you. I never could make you happy. I couldn't provide you with smiles and little joys and anything at all. It was all me. I thought I was just hugging her tightly but I didn't know I was suffocating you... I was breaking you everything you fixed me... Thank you for leaving me honey. But you should have left a scum like me sooner. That way, neither you, nor I would have to go through that... She was sweet adorable, as beautiful as you. She was little though. She had to be chained to you until she grew up. She had to stay with you because you could protect her. You were nice but I made you heartless. That's why you let her go. How can I now ever look at myself in the eyes? How can I keep living on knowing I made you do that? I thought of killing myself but that won't do. How can death be equivalent to what she had to go through? I need to suffer more. That's why I've kept myself alive, letting the demon in my head eat me from inside. That is the punishment I've bestowed upon myself for the sins I've committed. For I killed our baby...