LIBBY

***

"Mum, when does Bentley come out?" Beau asks me from Jasper's other side.

He's decked from head to toe with Brighton and Hove Albion gear, wearing Bentley's number, and he's been cheering his butt off for the last ten minutes, even though nothing has really happened.

Today is one of the proudest moment of mine and Jasper's lives: Bentley has her first professional women's premier league matches.

After just one year at college, Bentley had got a call from one of the scouts at Brighton, saying they were interested in her for their U20s team. She'd agreed as long as she could attend university as well, so she transferred back to England, to the University of Sussex, doing sport science. They even agreed to fund it, saying that in her time before classes and after classes, she was to attend training sessions with both the U20s team and the Brighton ladies team.

Three months ago, she got pulled to one side by her coach saying the big squads had been looking at her, loving the way she played. When they asked if she wanted to accept the offer of being their Centre Midfield, she accepted wholeheartedly, and now she was debuting and starting in her first league match.

My daughter, my beautiful and talented daughter is starting at a professional football match, at the young age of twenty one. And in a Premier League club of all things... and I could not have been more proud.

"Soon! They're all gearing up to get on the pitch now." I reach around Jasper and ruffle his hair under his hat.

This game, which had been moved to the men's home ground The Amex, was to be a big one. The women usually play at Crawley Town's ground, but it had been flooded with the foul weather yesterday, and got moved here last week. It was supposedly fate that the men play their match tomorrow.

The atmosphere was unreal. Although the stands aren't necessarily filled as much as for the men's matches would be, there's still a sizeable crowd. Our stand is mostly full, and Jason and Beau are enjoying themselves immensely, and I have to laugh at what they look like.

Whilst I waited outside holding bags, Jasper took both our sons into the shop to buy some Brighton kit. Of course when they came out they had three whole bags full. We found a bathroom and decked ourselves up in all our supporters gear. Jasper had bought me a Ladies shirt, with Bentley's number, along with a warm grey hoodie which had the Brighton badge. He's got it two sizes too big for me, but I don't care. Jason and Beau have what look like away shirts, one is green and the other is plain black, and they're wearing them over their big jumpers I'd made them put on this morning. Beau also has a bobble hat, a flag and a foam finger, with Jason wielding a foam finger as well. Jasper is just wearing a men's shirt, and he's bought himself a hoodie to match mine. It's freezing today, so I'm grateful for the extra layers. I only hope that Bentley doesn't freeze while she's playing. There was snow on the ground when we left home this morning, but down in Brighton it was just cold.

Bentley had offered us tickets down near the players, but Jasper had said he wanted to be up in the crowds with everyone, experiencing the atmosphere. She sounded okay with it on the phone, but she said she'd make sure security would let us come down onto the pitch afterwards, or at least down to see her. Jess, her girlfriend, did accept the front row tickets, though, so she branched off from us about an hour ago when we got here.

Despite not needing to, both Jasper and I were nervous for her. She'd gone through a lot over the last year, and with being in America before that. And now with being scouted for the team and long training sessions, along with being in the public eye, the pressure could become too much. But through thick and thin we've had her back the whole time.

As the music starts to blare, we know the teams are coming out. And it's Beau who spots her first when she comes to stand in a line. She's a Centre Midfield, and she's wearing a number 24 jersey, her lucky number.

"There!" He points and smacks Jasper's side in excitement. Jasper flinches slightly and moves himself closer to me, leaving our two boys to themselves, waving their foam fingers around. It's hard to believe my sweet boy is now nine, and nearing my height... but then I suppose that comes with territory of having a husband that's nearly a foot and a half taller than me. Jason, who was now fourteen and deep in his full-blown moody teenager phase, already towered over me and I expected he'd even be taller than Jasper when he finally stopped growing.

I spot her and she's looking up at the crowd, and I think maybe she's looking for us and Jess. She looks calm though. Growing up having to go to Jasper's book launches has helped keep her cool under the media eye I suppose, so at least it's taught her something. And even though I can't see her face, she looks cool as a cucumber and so focussed as she starts to move and warm up for a few more minutes before the ball is kicked off and the match starts.

As it unfolds, the announcer starts shouting out the team names and numbers, and when they are almost at her number, our row starts to go berserk. Jason jumps up and down waving his foam finger around so violently I think he might take either his or Beau's eye out.

"And we have a new player at twenty-four; she's debuting today, after joining the squad three months ago. Let's put our hands together for Bentley Calhoun!" The announcer shouts it and I feel tears come to my eyes as the whole stadium erupts in cheers, just as she intercepts ball.

"That's my girl!" Jasper shouts down and I see Jason and Beau doing the same, shouting through cupped hands.

I shout a whoop, and within minutes the whole stadium seems to be up on their feet as she boots it hard and into the top right hand corner of the net, blasting it past the goalkeeper effortlessly.

She does a backflip after scoring and is instantly mobbed by her teammates, all cheering and celebrating. Jasper turns and hugs me hard and kisses me, holding my face before resting his forehead on mine.

"How have we been this lucky?" He breathes against my ear before he kisses me again.

I didn't know the answer to that. I couldn't. We have a daughter and two sons who are a joy to be around, and we truly do have the most incredible little family. I wouldn't change anything about them for the world. But what I love most is that we have all remained so close. Even now that Bentley is living away from us and has matches or training on weekends and most weekdays, she still finds the time to either drive up to us or Skype us all. If she rings us at dinner, we place the laptop at her place at the table and it's as if she's there with us.

But even though we're blissfully happy now, I'm not going to say it's been easy this whole time either. Jasper and I have had rough patches, but the biggest one was when Jules was diagnosed with cancer, just over ten years ago.

He couldn't cope with the thought of losing someone else close to him, and he went back to being the Jasper I knew when I first met him; shut off and angry. And although I understood why he was upset, and I was just as upset at the thought of losing Jules, I still needed him, and he let me down. Thankfully Jules pulled through, and has now been eight years cancer-free, but at the time, the arguing backwards and forwards put a strain on us for the first time since we got married. At that point Bentley was about ten, with Jason being about five, and I needed him more than ever. And as we were trying for another baby, the pressure just got to both of us, and something snapped, and almost broke.

When he was home, he wasn't truly here. He was distant, he was moody and he punched his way through more than one punchbag, I'll tell you that.

But when Jules got her all clear, after two months of couples therapy, and Jasper sleeping on the sofa in the den downstairs, we were finally back to our normal. I didn't make it easy for him, keeping him in the doghouse for way longer than he deserved, but after how he treated me, there were times I didn't even want to look at him.

But since I'd decided to give him another chance - one last chance - Jasper has been a sweetheart. If it had just been the two of us, I would have been more lenient maybe. But with the kids, I didn't want to be arguing in front of them. And that has remained our rule since then. After one screaming match where Jason got so scared he hid under his bed for two hours before we finally found him, I was done.

But now, things are okay again.

Pretty soon after our reconciliation, Beau was born. And he's been a godsend, and just what our marriage needed. He was the sweetest child, very quiet and shy, but he's very observant. He notices things. And now that he's older, I reckon he's going to be a writer like his dad one day. Like Bentley was at his age, he was reading big books at a young age, and he's constantly coming up with stories in his head, which he shares with us all the time. He's got such a vivid imagination, and it's so great to see.

Jason, who very much takes after Jasper far too much, is our troublemaker of the family. But I have to admit that's kind of why I love him. He goes to parties all weekend with his friends, although he does remember to tell us where he is most of the time. He is obsessed with films, same as me, and it's not uncommon for us to be sat all night in front of the TV with both Jasper and Beau asleep around us. He's absolutely hilarious, the joker amongst his friends, but he has the kindest heart. And that is how I know he takes after Jasper.

The first day I saw it practice was about five years ago. He was waiting for Beau, as they're in the same school, and he saw a few of the older kids picking on him for his glasses. Even though he was a lot smaller than those kids at the time, he marched straight up to them and apparently kicked them in the shins. Of course that earned him a shiner, and a missing front tooth, but we were proud of him for sticking up for his little brother.

"Mum look!" Beau's pointing with his foam finger, and I notice that Bentley has the ball again and is heading back down to the goal.

Unfortunately she's intercepted and she loses it, but that doesn't stop her. She chases it back down and does a sliding tackle, getting the ball back to one of her team mates, with play continuing at the fast pace.

***

By the time the ref blows his whistle for full time, my voice is completely hoarse.

We wait in our seats, still high off the adrenaline of both Brighton winning and Bentley scoring two of the three goals. But soon we were the last ones left, so we started to move down to the pitch where I could see some players, including Bentley, were still milling around taking pictures with other fans. I could tell it was her because she's sat next to Jess on the grass, their legs crossed over each other.

"Bentley!" Jason shouts before jumping over seats to get to the stairs.

"Ahhhhh! Guys!" She gets up and runs towards us as we all file over the seats awkwardly with our bags. I say we, I mean Jasper and me. The boys are already on the pitch and have tackled Bentley to the ground.

"Benny, you were so great! That first goal, oh my god."

She chuckles. "I literally have no idea how that happened. A gap just opened up."

She always downplays how good she really is, but from the proud smile mirroring mine on Jasper's face, I can tell he's thinking the same thing.

While the kids all sit on the grass and replay each of the kicks, Jasper and I just stand and watch them.

I'd never imagined I'd be lucky enough to find someone to share my life with, but I'd also never imagined that it would be as full and blessed as ours has been.

Twenty-five years ago, I had only one best friend in the world, with plenty of time to decide what I wanted to do ahead of me. Now, I have a soulmate, I have three beautiful children and I have so many friends and family around me that I know I will never be alone again. The shy person I used to be has gone, replaced by someone who sometimes even I don't recognise. But I like the person I've become, because of Jasper, because of my family.

But the best thing is I'm a mum who my kids actually want to hang out with. It makes me feel like I'm floating on air when my children cancel plans with their friends to hang out with us, their parents, which never happens these days. But even if they didn't want to, being as close to our children as we are is enough.

We've brought them up to be the best part of themselves. We've brought them up to accept the love they deserve, and more, and to help and love others just as much, because you only get one chance at this earth. And there isn't any point in being someone or something you're not, just because people want you to.

Jasper and I are evidence that you don't need to be anything similar to have a happy life. Yes, we've hit bumps along the road, but you always do. People always fight. If you didn't, people's marriages would fall at the first hurdle. But we've learned from them, we've picked ourselves back up for the kids and have shown them that love is worth fighting hard for.

Because he is worth fighting for. Since day one we've been fighting together, fighting for love. But now, after a whirlwind adventure of love, tears, happiness and heartbreak, Jasper and I are stronger than ever.

I don't know what the future will bring... but I do know that if I have Jasper and our incredible family by my side, I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it.