JASPER

***

The sun is beaming down on us when I wake and fuck me is it hot. I have Libby latched around me, I have a hoodie on and we're covered by two blankets and I'm absolutely fucking sweltering.

I try not to move because Libby is still fast asleep, fuck knows how, but she is. I suppose she is British so she's used to it being cold and raining. Although when I look at her I can see she's sweating too, but if I move, she'll wake up.

She was talking in her sleep last night, which was beyond adorable, and actually kind of sexy. She talked about the stars and something about the sea, but she was mumbling other parts. But when I looked at her, she was smiling and her eyes were fluttering, so she must have been having a vivid dream. I bet you anything she was having a sex dream... but not only was it a fucking sex dream, but a dream about me.

I smirk at myself and the thought makes me squirm slightly. I think I must have started squirming too much, because the next thing I know she's groaning at me to stop, which means she's awake.

"Thank fuck for that..." I shift out gently from underneath her and stand in the bed of the truck. I strip off my jumper and relish in the relative coolness of the early morning breeze against the sweat on my bare back.

Checking my watch, it's not even seven yet, and it's already hitting uncomfortable, I reckon we could have boiled alive if we'd been asleep any longer.

I sit down on the other side of the truck and watch her as she dozes, not wanting to wake her fully quite yet because we weren't in a rush. But soon I can't take much more of the heat so I have to go for a swim in the sea to cool down.

I still don't have her number so I just get up and hope she doesn't properly wake up in the next ten minutes and think I've abandoned her. If I abandon her, I abandon my truck too, so if she wanders off... well let's hope she doesn't do that. I'll only be ten minutes max anyway. Fuck's sake, stop worrying and fucking cool off.

I kiss her temple gently before I set off at a jog towards the sea. I dive straight in and the waves are a delight against my hot skin, and soon the heat is expelled and I feel like myself again.

I duck in and under the waves for a few more minutes then I decide to head back to Libby. I'd been gone for two minutes and I'd been gone for eight minutes too long.

When I get back to the truck though, she's right where I left her. Curled up hugging my hoodie, her lips parted slightly. She flinches though when I notice a droplet of water from my hair hit her face, making her turn and stir, searching for where the water was coming from. When she sees me, a breathtaking smile erupts on her beautiful but sleepy face.

"Hey," she says, yawning, moving her hand from underneath the blanket to hold mine.

"You're freezing," she says again, her voice rough with sleep. "And you're... shirtless," she grins, and I swear she licks her lips, although I may have been imagining that.

"I overheated. Went for a dip... you want one? I'll go back in..." I gesture with my head to the sea but she screws up her face and shakes her head.

"My hair feels like straw... but I'd take a shower at yours though?" She asks with a sly smile.

"Breakfast for the road? Cookout break-" I don't even need to finish my sentence before she answers me by kissing me hard on the mouth.

"Get your shirt on and let's go," she says, hopping down, wrapping herself in the blanket.

Drying myself off quickly with the towel, I keep my shirt off - a show for her - and hop back in the drivers seat.

"What do you want? Pancakes? Bacon? Muffins? Hash browns?"

"Pancakes. With maple syrup and bacon. And some blueberries. Ooh! And a peanut butter milkshake," she chuckles as she winds down her window, sticking her head out as she looks at the beach.

"Plenty of time to come back," I say when she huffs a sigh as she sits back down. I put a hand on her leg and she turns and smiles. "Plenty of time."

***

Libby makes me ring my parents to ask if they want anything, and annoyingly both of them did.

Mum wanted pancakes as well, whereas Dad wanted biscuits and gravy. I order them and almost laugh at Libby's strange expression. When we sit down to wait I ask her why she was laughing.

"What was with the face back there?" I ask, taking both her hands in mine and kissing them. Her hands were freezing, so I kept them in mine while we waited.

"Biscuits and gravy? Your dad wants digestives and bisto?" She raises her eyebrows and makes a face.

"Digestives and what?" I snort. "What the fuck is bisto?"

"Biscuits and gravy. That's a really odd combination."

"Why?"

She shrugs as I hear our number called out.

"Can I see what they look like?" She asks as I offer her my arm.

I laugh, "Sure." I open up the bag and show her, pulling out Dad's breakfast.

She laughs, and it's a soft but shrieky laugh that takes me a bit by surprise.

"Jasper, that's a scone!" She giggles.

Her laughter is infectious and soon enough I'm laughing enough that my legs turn wobbly. She's so innocent and smart at the same time, and it's hugely refreshing that someone like me is lucky enough to have her, and to call her mine.

"You're ridiculous," I chuckle, putting our breakfast on her lap.

"You both need to come to England to try real scones," she jokes. She winces slightly, as if she hadn't meant to say that. But then she smiles, changing her mind. "You should. You need to try haggis and scones now," she giggles, which makes me laugh again.

After a couple of minutes I've calmed down enough to realise she's just asked me to come to England. But for the first time it makes me realise that her being here isn't permanent. And that it's fucking typical that the only girl I've ever liked has to go back in a year... go fucking figures.

I feel her hand on my arm and I realise I'd begun to grip the wheel tightly, making my knuckles go white. She doesn't say anything, she just smiles, but for now that's all I need to calm me. Her leaving is ten months away... and that's still a lifetime. And who knows if we'll even make it that far anyway...

***

"Where's Libby?" Mom asks.

When we got back we ate our breakfast in bed, showered - unfortunately separately - and snuggled for a bit and before Libby demanded we do fucking homework.

"In my room," I say abruptly. "She's doing homework."

I didn't have any homework. I'd done some at the beach, the reading for Abrams, and then my other professors were kind enough to not give us any reading or essay assignments from our first week. I had no idea how much Libby had, but I'd been banished from my own room when I was distracting her too much.

I couldn't help being distracted when she's wearing a pair of my pyjama shorts and a vest top, her hair flowing over her shoulders. She was beautiful, inside and out, and I actually had to pinch myself to make sure I was actually awake and this was real life.

Her eyes looked a lot better, but left one was a still a bit red. I was really worried, despite being impressed that she was basically a fish. I'd cleaned them as best I could, but when we got to the restaurant her left eye was so red she could barely keep it open. She was trying to hide it, but I wasn't surprised when she got up to go to the bathroom. She left me to order for her, no cauliflower and no oysters, and I had never been left such a challenge before. Yet she trusted me completely. Thankfully I'd done well when I ordered a chowder, something I always knew went down well, and her eye did seem a lot better when she came back. She explained there was sand in it, and she kept dabbing at it over dinner, so it was still hurting. I bet that's why she declined us 'showering' in the sea.

"Does she need anything?" Mom asks.

"No. I'm just out here because I'm banished."

"Banished?" She laughs, tipping her head back slightly.

I shrug. She doesn't want to know how I was distracting her.

Libby had showered first, so I'd spent the ten minutes she was in there staring at the door, trying to contain the hard-on in my boxers. Libby was completely naked behind that door, and it was taking all my restraint not to barge in there and join her. I don't know why she declined, but I think it may have been because of what I'd said yesterday. I'd said I didn't want to rush things, and I suppose having a shower with a girl, specifically her, could potentially lead to something else.

But when she came out, I took my phone out and took a picture of her in her towel. She heard it and groaned, demanding I show her. But I set it as my background lock screen and then showed her, so she couldn't delete it. She groaned again but chose not to comment.

When it was my turn, I just stripped off my clothes, butt naked, and I knew Libby was trying her hardest not to stare. She was though. I had a cold shower to start with, but then I switched it to warm when I started shivering. I'm in there for longer than Libby is, and when I come out I'm half expecting her to be taking a picture of me.

But no. Despite my distraction of still being practically naked in front of her, her head didn't move from her book. Pure dedication or determination to not look at me, I wasn't sure. I snorted and pulled on a pair of boxers, and sat on the bed with her.

I kept trying to tickle her, distract her, and I did that for fifteen minutes before she said anything.

"Jasper please! I've literally read the same sentence twenty times."

"I'm bored. Do that later," I said, tickling her legs and pulling the book from her hand. "It's only the first week. Abrams didn't even give us homework," I laughed, looking at the book she's reading.

"It's not for Abrams. It's for World History, and it's stuff I know nothing about, so I want to get ahead. Jasper please... give it back!" She pouts and unexpectedly lunges forward, grabbing the book from my hand whilst inadvertently shoving her chest in my face, much to my enjoyment.

I kissed the soft skin just above her top and she squealed.

"Stop!" She squealed with a giggle, managing to grab the book and hitting me softly on the head with it. "Out!"

I chuckled and got up to find a shirt and some shorts.

"Fine..." I leant up and kissed her head, which she didn't object to and left, slamming the door on my way out.

And here we are.

"How long have you been out here?" She asks.

"Hour," I say, taking a huge gulp of iced tea.

"An hour... Jasper go and check if she's okay!" She points to my room and keeps pointing until I move.

"Fuck's sake. FINE!" I yell.

I shove the chair back and storm over to my door, hating how Mom was now thinking she could tell me what to do.

I knock on the door lightly anyway but I don't get a response. I can hear her talking to someone in there, but I bet she's just reading the book out loud. That's probably why she wanted me to leave.

"Baby, do you need or want anything from the..."

I freeze when I realise what situation I'd just walked into. She's sitting at my desk, her back to the door, and the voices I heard looks like her parents on Skype. I can see that I'm firmly in the frame, and having just called her 'baby' in front of her parents, I can see that she is both mortified and angry all at the same time.

Libby's eyes are wide and her cheeks are beetroot and I duck down and bolt from the room in attempt to alleviate the situation. Although I've probably made the fucking situation worse because her parents had definitely seen me. And there's no avoiding it.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

"Jasper!" I hear her call, her voice wavering with uncertainty. "Come back."

I push up on my shaky legs and swallow my nerves, which are threatening to make an appearance in the form of vomit. This is Mom's fucking fault. I was giving her space and now I'd gone and stuck my fucking foot in it.

I come back in, making sure I looked vaguely presentable... in my shorts and fucking wife-beater vest top, making it look like I'd just woken up. It was four in the afternoon.

I look at her and offer my sincerest look of apology, but she just smiles sheepishly and shrugs.

"Mum, Dad... meet Jasper."

I crouch down next to Libby and try to remind myself not to cuss on camera. I put my arm across her knee and I can feel her hand shaking as much as mine, and it's vaguely reassuring that she's just as nervous as I am. Was she this nervous when she met my parents?

"Hey guys," I wave sheepishly. "Erm I'm sorry about that. Earlier. I was just seeing if Libby... wanted anything." Fucking hell, I sounded like a knob when all I wanted to do was run... bolt out of the room.

"Hi Jasper," her dad says awkwardly.

We all sit in silence for a minute. This would have been fucking easier if Libby and I knew what the fuck we were. I don't fucking know, and I can tell her parents want to know.

As far as I know Libby might have told them these are her halls... but after I went and called her baby I doubt they're going to believe that.

"How's it all going so far then?" Her mum asks, and I'm hoping she means classes.

"Fine. It's only been a week but my professors are really great."

"Made any friends?" I hear another voice in the background and brown-haired boy's head pops up in between them.

"A few." She doesn't elaborate. I'm guessing she means her roommates... and me. I suppose I'd be okay as introducing myself as a friend for now. That would make the most sense.

"Been to the beach?" He asks. I think me being here isn't helping the awkwardness factor. There's no way her family conversations are this disjointed.

I go to leave but she grips my arm sharply to the point it almost hurts. I widen my eyes to ask her what the fuck she wants me to do, and I can see something decisive behind her eyes before she interrupts her brother - or at least I hope it's her brother - in his line of social questioning.

"Mum, Dad... I've met a guy."

She's actually going to tell them. Fuck.

"This guy."

She looks across at me and smiles, and even though her cheeks are practically glowing, I can see she's beyond happy. And I just hope that's all her parents focus on.

"Wait isn't Jasper the guy you said was a knob when he picked you up at the airport." I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Not my finest hour, I admit," I say, scratching the back of my neck.

"Yeah he was. But he's... I don't know, he's changed. He's changing and he's different."

She looks across at me and smiles again and I'm giddy. I'm actually giddy.

"Well... it's still very early days yet, Sweetie." Her mum is smiling, but I can see the apprehension behind both of their eyes and I have to fight myself not to cuss them out.

They're looking at my appearance - shaggy, unbrushed hair - and they're trying to figure me out. I can her dad hone in on my tattoo and his eyes are full of instant disapproval.

"What are you studying?" Her mum asks me.

"English." I say it curtly and I feel Libby's hands grip mine. "I graduate end of this year."

"Oh, so you're a senior." I nod in response. I don't see how that changes anything. Only that I've made it through college a year longer than Libby has.

"Lib, are those your halls?" Her brother asks.

Libby and I just look at each other.

"Erm... no, actually I'm at Jasper's... house."

And when I see her dad's face go from a normal colour to a pale shade of white, I have to grip Libby's hand hard. Why the fuck did Libby even call them? And why couldn't she have used the phone?

"You're at his house... Honey..." I look down and breathe heavily through my nose at the sheer disappointment I can hear in his voice.

"I didn't force her here, if that's what you're thinking." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Be mean to me, I can take it, but don't fucking put her down in the process.

"That wasn't what I was-"

"Yes it was. I can see your disapproval from here," I bite, cutting him off. "I'll have you know that I really care for your daughter. And sure, I may look like I may not treat her right, but you can fuck off with that idea."

"Jasper!" Libby scolds me, but I rip my arm from her fingers, ignoring how she digs her nails in. "Dad, I'm so sorry," she apologises.

"Don't fucking apologise. I don't care. Like I said, I like Libby. More than I've ever liked anyone... and I want to be here. And if you don't like me then well..."

I'm being an ass for the sake of being an ass and I know I should stop being said ass. Libby has tears in her eyes, and I know it's because I've just been a massive dick to her parents.

I don't have anything else to say so I get up and leave my room, slamming the door again on my way out. I lean on the door, my hand still on the door handle, and I try to fight my usual reaction, punching something, but my anger wins out as I punch my hand through the mirror that's just opposite my room. I'm punching at my own reflection, but the searing pain of the glass cutting my skin and the scar tissue on my thumb breaking again, calms me down.

"Jasper! Oh my god."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shout at her and she stops in her tracks as I turn, cradling my arm, and go off down to the gym. "I'm fine."

I'm not fine.