LIBBY

***

Classes have been great. And I felt like I belonged here.

In one week I had triple the contact time I had at university in Exeter, my professors all believed in extra credit essays, I found friends in each of my classes and the homework was actually enjoyable, as sad as that sounds. I'd always loved studying, but here I felt like it was easy, like it was natural. And by the end the week, after such a strange but wonderful weekend, I really did feel like I belonged here.

I loved all my classes, but Essay Writing was weird. The class itself was great, and I met more than a couple of people I could see myself being friends with. It was Jasper that made it weird.

Even though we made our way together, he sat five seats away from me, barely looking at me, and then when the bell went for end of class he couldn't escape the room fast enough. I know I'd said we need space, but I didn't mean he needed to pretend I didn't exist all of a sudden.

So I didn't know what else to do... Having never experienced anything like this, I didn't know what else to do other than leave him to it. I couldn't ring him or text him even if I'd wanted to, because I didn't have his number, and there was no way I'd be asking Ziggy for it. I wouldn't even speak to Steph or sit with her after I noticed she was wearing his shirt to class on Monday, the same one from the beach, so there wasn't any way in hell I was asking her either.

But every time I saw him from far off, he was on his own. And he looked angry. Angrier than the day I'd met him when he slammed his fist into the dashboard. I wanted to go and talk to him, but each time I started to move, alarm bells would go off in my head. Give him space, give him space, they said, and I listened to them.

I saw him sitting on his own eating dinner on Tuesday when I came in with Lorna and Alex. He didn't look up from his food and then once we'd sat down, he left his tray and blurred out of Wag faster than I could imagine.

On Wednesday I saw him sitting in his truck, maybe waiting for his next lesson, reading a book and making notes in the margin. I was close enough to see his face and he had dark red circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept, and I was about to go up to him when Ziggy popped out of nowhere and jumped into the truck with him. Albeit he didn't looked pleased to see Ziggy either, but I wasn't about to interfere. And then when he came to our class in the morning he sat away from me again. And if I was being honest, he looked like shit.

I didn't see him Thursday. I don't know whether he skipped classes or whether I just didn't see him. But I was starting to think maybe I'd had the wrong idea about him this whole time. Or worse, that my decision to put whatever we had on hold for a week had completely backfired. I still felt the same way I did on Monday morning, but maybe this angry way was how Jasper was the whole time, and I was just finally seeing his true colours.

But I hadn't imagined what happened between us. He was the one that instigated that kiss on Saturday night, kissing me beyond belief and comprehension. He was the one that kept taking my hand or kissing my shoulder or kissing my nose when we were at his house. And he was the one that had first mentioned moving too fast. I just reacted. I agreed we had, and sure, maybe my reaction was a bit over the top... but that didn't mean I wanted him to ignore me altogether.

It made me feel worse than when he kissed me and said absolutely nothing. It made me feel angry at him and by the time Friday rolled around, I barely noticed anybody through the sea of red surrounding my eyes, let alone him.

He came to class, but I didn't give him the time of day. We were going through a book by David Sedaris, a comedy short story writer, and I just focused on the page.

I was not letting him get to me. Absolutely not. So when it came to my turn to read a page, I just kept my head down and read. When I finished, there was a pause and the teacher laughed slightly.

"That paragraph sounded amazing in your accent. But thank you Libby. Okay who's next? Jasper... you haven't read yet." She looks across the room at Jasper who is sat right at the back with his hood up, trying his best to be ignored.

He looks at her with the rudest glare I had ever seen. I even saw her balk a bit, and I'm about to say something out loud when he suddenly gets up and dashes from the room, tipping his chair back as he went.

"Errrm," she says, clearly stunned.

Everyone is looking at the door where Jasper just left and I have to say I'm a bit shocked.

I don't follow him. I don't give him the satisfaction of reacting to him and following him like a lovesick puppy.

"Okay everyone back to the book please. Libby, would you mind reading again?"

And that's how class ended, with me reading.

No one was listening to me. Even I wasn't listening to me. My heart was beating in my chest so hard I could hear it in my ears. And it was beating so fast with worry that found myself ignoring my own advice, and as soon as the bell went for the end of class, I ran.

I run for my apartment, hoping he was there waiting to explain. But he wasn't.

After that outburst, I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear what the hell that was about, and I needed to see him. I know I said a week but five days was close enough. I needed to see him, for both our sakes.

I get my phone out my pocket and dial the only person I know who has a car in my phone. Taylor.

"Hey Taylor," I say gingerly when she picks up after a few rings.

"Hey." She doesn't sound happy but she doesn't hang up either, which is a good start.

Taylor and I have decided we don't get on. I ignore her and she ignores me, and we've left it at that. But I had no other choice today, as she is the only person I know other than Jasper who has a car. I would make it up to her soon but I needed to do this. I really needed to do this.

"Would you be able to do me a favour?" I ask, and she sighs.

"What?"

I take a deep breath. "Would you be able to drive me somewhere?"

She huffs, but she doesn't say no, which is another good sign. I must have caught her in a rare good mood.

"Fine," I hear her say after what felt like an eternity of her deliberating. "I'll be back in ten."

"Thank you!" I shout down the phone. "Thank you so much, Taylor. I seriously owe you," I babble down the phone.

"Don't worry about it. See you in a minute," she says and then hangs up.

When I get off the call, I decide to pack a bag, just in case. I pack my pyjamas, some spare clothes, my bikini and a jumper. I pack them in case he is there and we talk it through and he lets me stay. It's a long shot, but he reacted to something today, and I had to know what it was.

Taylor took twenty minutes to arrive, but I wasn't in a position to argue. She texted me and I dashed out the door and jumped in the passenger side of her car.

"So where am I taking you?" She asks.

I sigh and look at her.

"Jasper's."

***

Amazingly I remembered where Jasper's house was, thanks to my weird brain. When we get there, though, his truck isn't there. But I don't want to be anywhere else.

"You're just going to wait here?" She asks as I jump out the car, pulling my bags out. I nod and she snorts. "Fine. Well text me in four hours or whatever to come get you when he doesn't show up." She laughs again as I shut the door and waves sarcastically as she reverses around the corner.

Sitting on the front step, I wait for nearly an hour before someone turns up. Except it's not Jasper. It's his mum.

"I wondered when we'd be seeing you again," she says. She looks tired, although I don't know why, I can't help but think Jasper has something to do with it.

I look up at her, expecting her to be angry, but she's smiling down at me. She's carrying some shopping, so I get up, sling on my backpack and grab the other two bags from her car to help.

"Where do you want these Mrs Calhoun?" I call after her.

"Just on the counter top. And please, it's Becca," she turns with a soft smile.

"Becca." I try to return her smile as I put down the bags, but I feel like it probably looks more like a grimace than a smile.

"Take a seat honey, and I'll get you some tea," she says. I drop my bags and tuck my feet under me.

She moves around me for a few minutes, putting stuff away, but soon she pours me a glass of tea and then sits down next to me.

"So how come you're here? Does Jasper know you're coming?" She asks, getting straight to the point. The bags under her eyes are evident that she's worried about her son.

"I don't know why I'm here to be honest. He blew up in class today and I guess... I guess I just wanted to check he's... okay?" I take a sip of tea and answer the second question. "And no, he doesn't know I'm here." I look down and play with the condensation running down the glass.

"Well..." she takes a shaky sip and runs a shaking hand over her hair. "He's not really been back. I figured he was with you... And if that hasn't been the case... then he's probably not coming back tonight either."

I look up at that. "Not been coming back? What do you mean?"

She nods. "Yeah, we thought maybe you'd done a number on him and he was okay. But... I suppose no one can change that quickly. Wednesday was the only night he did come home. Pete got a call from someone about a guy passed out in a truck... He went to take a look and found him passed out drunk at the beach." I cup my mouth, worried.

She looks towards the door hopefully. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened between you two? He looked... so happy on Monday and then this. Something must have happened?"

I look up again. "Well... after breakfast we kind of agreed not to see each other for a week. Or at least I thought that was the agreement."

"Why?" She asks.

"It was all moving too fast," I say without even thinking. "I really like your son, Mrs Calhoun, but one day is too quick to get involved with someone."

She nods sadly, taking another shaky sip of tea.

"I want to make it work though. I don't know about Jasper but this week has been tougher than I thought. When he kept ignoring me..." I start my explanation but we both turn when we hear keys in the lock.

Hope fills in my chest as the door opens but both of us sag in disappointment when Jasper's dad walks through the door in his uniform.

"Baby, have you seen Jasper?" Pete asks, checking the post. "His truck is blocking the drive again."

I whip my head round so fast my hair hits my face.

"What?! Where is he?" I ask, standing so fast my chair falls over. I realise I'm probably not in a position to demand, but he must be here somewhere.

"Go check his room. Sometimes he goes in the side door." I hear Becca saying it but I'm already half way down the corridor, not needing to be told twice. I run to the den, and my heart leaps into my mouth when I find the door locked.

He's here. But whether or not he'll talk to me is a different question.

I jiggle the door and knock, not saying anything. I hear a very loud 'FUCK OFF' from inside, which makes me smile a little. I've missed his voice, even his foul mouth.

I jiggle it again, aiming to get him so riled up he has to open the door, not knowing what else to do. I can see Becca and Pete looking at me from the kitchen, but it doesn't stop me from knocking and jiggling the door handle again and again.

Finally, after about five minutes of continuous knocking, I hear a pair of thunderous footsteps coming towards the door. I then hear the lock being undone, and the door flies open.

"FUCK O-" His words stick in his throat as he sees who it is, and his expression changes from fury to need and passion in the space of two seconds flat.

And I don't have any time to say anything before he pulls me into his room and his lips crash down on mine.