There's a pulsing in both of my calves, they ache in pain with each step I take getting closer to the bridge I've been walking twenty minutes to visit. In the four days I've been here, the heating sun hasn't gotten any easier to get used to and right now I can feel the slow process of my sweat sliding down my neck. The bottle I hold in my hand is empty but I forbid myself to stop for a beverage. I need to get to the bridge before the sun begins to go down so I can witness the most beautiful sunset in history.

        One thing that I still have yet to get used to is walking to every destination. I'm aware of the other forms of transportation but the things I witness when walking down the main streets is something I never want to miss for an easier ride. I choose to walk everywhere but god my legs have endured a lot.

        Once I noticed the crowd grow, I knew I was at the right place. The bridge reveals itself like a gate to heaven. The ash colored bricks build a road so long and wide that the whole city has joined to see the same sun I want to watch. I don't hesitate to walk myself into the crowd and find a comforting spot to wait in.

        I face the sun that's about to begin setting as I plant my arms onto the bridge crossing them inwards. I release a heavy breath finally getting some rest as I wait for the magic to start. And then it begins.

        The color that takes over the sky happens in seconds as the sun drops its height lower. The golden reflection touches my skin to light up and I'm hypnotized. I move my hands to my purse where I quickly find my Polaroid camera without looking away from the show in front of me. Once held properly, I snap a photo and wait for it to print.

        I hold the film in my hand and stuff it in my bag without looking at what the camera created. My eyes find the sun again allowing myself to watch in patients this time. I stand there for what seems like forever until the light around me has turned navy. The evening has slowly begun and the pain coming from my stomach is reminding me that I need to grab something for dinner.

        There's a tap on my shoulder and I turn just as sudden. The elder holds out a plate of what seems like some type of Italian dish before smiling wide and proud. "Vill du ha en?" He speaks, bringing the plate higher to me.

        Politely, I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I don't speak Swedish." I cringe hoping he could understand me.

        The gentleman nods in a chuckle. "Oh, American! I see." I nod wishing I could swallow myself whole. "I make cheeseballs, try one."

        My eyes fall onto the plate. The circular food sits in its oily mixture topped with seasoning I can't guess, but the sound my stomach makes again forces my hand to grab one. The flavors explode in my mouth as I take a bite. The cheese melts like it's freshly made and I can taste the perfect amount of garlic that was added. I am in love. "Oh my gosh, sir this is so good!" I can't help but smile so I bring my hand to my mouth to cover the mess I'd expose.

        The gentleman smiles just as wide, nodding in appreciation. "Thank you, it's my go to." He nudges his head as he winks at me.

        "Please tell me how you made that." And the elder does, sending me right to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients before heading home to start on my dinner.

        I drop the bags of groceries onto the kitchen counter with a heavy breath at the weight, then I look around and realize I haven't really used anything in here yet. My hands rest besides my waist mentally preparing myself to do the one thing I suck the most at, cooking.

        I try to recall all the steps that the man from the bridge told me before digging into a bag to find the mozzarella cheese and setting it down. My other hand opens a drawer where I find a large knife that I take in my hand. I need something to open the bag with and though I probably don't need to be using this big of a knife, it's the closest to me. Once secured in my hand, I take the bag and bring it close to the sharp object. I let the knife dive into the bag and-

        "Ow!" I drop the knife. I look down at the finger I'm suddenly holding and find it slowly gushing out blood. "Shit." I look around for something that I can cover the wound with before landing on the paper towels. I wrap it around the cut as tightly as I can while I go looking for a band aid. Where the hell are their bandaids?

        I left the drawers open too deep into my scavenger hunt and by the time I realized there was none in the airbnb, I knew the errand I had to make.

        It felt less scary to walk in the dark to a pharmacy here than in New York. I'm reminded of Lauris's favorite thing about Sweden so easily. The store is the brightest place on the street forcing my eyes to get used to the change in light once I step inside.

        I scatter the isles while wrapping my fingers over the paper that has blood all over it. The bleeding has slowed down but it still creates a mess I need to take care of so I can get back to creating the best cheeseballs ever made. At least that's the mindset I'm sticking with.

        My shoes continue walking down the middle of the store keeping my eyes glued to every aisle I pass until I find the bandaids. They are straight in the middle of the isle I stop at and don't take my eyes off them until I'm at reach, but before I can grab them I'm bumped into someone's shoulder.

        I take a step back and look at who I crashed into before dropping a breath. "God, you scared me." My hand lands onto my chest.

        Lauris also takes a step back retrieving his hand from whatever he was aiming to get. "We need to stop meeting like this." He smiles through the weird coincidence as he stuffs his hands inside the pockets of his light jacket. It seems like he never knows what to do with his hands or where to put them, the pocket always seems like the comfortable choice. I nod in agreement before watching Lauris reach out for the bandaids I came to get. "Well I'm just here for these. Fell at work."

        My lips pinch together at the coincidence. "I'm also here for bandaids." My healthy hand reaches for the said item and returns them in my arm. "Cut myself while cooking." He doesn't need to know that I'm so bad in the kitchen I didn't even make it to the cooking part before hurting myself, so I'll stick to this story.

        Lauris drops his shoulder in worry before his eyes find my hands. "Are you okay? Is it deep?" I watch as he takes my injured hand in his like I'm one of his own. I met this man four days ago, yet to him, I've been here much longer. I fight the battle in my head to force his hand off me and just watch him slowly unwrap the paper towel. "God, Aliyah. Does it hurt?"

        The way he says my name snaps me back into reality and I pull my hand away from him, blinking away at the moment. "No, I'm fine. Just a little cut." My eyes tear from his and to my finger I begin wrapping up again. "At least I hope so, it would be an inconvenience to go to the hospital right now."

        By the time I look up at Lauris his lips are stuttering to say something I might not like. "Well you definitely win." I'm glad he chose humor.

        I grin at his attempt and force my hand into my pocket to refuse another situation like that again. "Yeah, I'd say so."

        Lauris brushes his hair back in the same fidget he always does during these quiet moments between us. "How's everything been?"

        "Great! Everything's so much more beautiful here, I love it." I feel the way I smile at the images that flood my brain of the past couple days. I know Lauris would love to hear it but I choose to keep it to myself. "I just feel like I've lost twenty pounds after walking literally everywhere I go."

        Lauris forces his thick brows together while tilting his head. "Why don't you just use transportation?"

        I shake my head. "I really enjoy watching the city as I move."

        I noticed how that made him smile. "Well then get a bike, kill two birds with one stone." He shrugs as normal.

        I mimic the shrug. "Why would I buy a bike just to leave it here?"

        His smile grows at the realization of my body language. "It's worth the transportation." Lauris argues innocently, finding a grin to show.

        It's silent, I don't respond and just narrow my eyes to him. "How do you get around?" I challenge him, ignoring the dimples that appear too noticeable and familiar to me.

        "With a bike." Lauris simply responds and I'm defeated.

        "Hmph." I kiss my lips. "I'll think about it." I mimic the famous shrug once more before dramatically turning around and walking out of the aisle.

-

        Time has passed but I don't know how much. I've been keeping myself in this kitchen and following the recipe I barely remember, but somehow the cheeseballs are on the stove frying to a golden color, more like turning brown. Are they supposed to be turning brown? The knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts and I immediately walk towards it. My hand is on the doorknob and twisting it open when I see nobody.

        "Surprise!" I look out farther to the sidewalk and see Lauris standing in the same coat as earlier pointing to the bike that stands next to him.

        I'm so confused but somehow widened the door enough for me to walk through. "Lauris?"

        "Yes, me and your new companion." His teeth are shown by how big his smile is, like I gifted the bike to him.

        I walk down the stairs and towards him. "You got me a bike?" My eyes widen the closer I get and realize how real this moment is. The black bike stands beside him waiting for me to approach it.

        "Yeah! Just killed two birds with one stone." Lauris's smile lessons when he realizes mine isn't as big as his. "What?" His teeth takes his bottom lip into his mouth and begins nibbling at it.

        "How?" That's all I can manage to say.

        "I know a buddy and his store happened to be on my way home." Lauris takes a look at the bike before looking back at me hoping my expression would be different this time.

        My body leans to my right hip crossing my arms together. I haven't even accepted the bike and I already feel guilty. "Why did you do this?"

        Lauris drops his tone, keeping his eyes on me. They're soft and full of emotion. "Cause I know a girl who needs a bike."

        I look away trying my hardest to not smile at his words but it gushes out bigger than I wanted. Once he notices it, his grows just as big. This moment is quiet but our reactions are louder. Lauris watches as the pink grows on my cheeks while approaching the bike, he never takes his eyes off me intrigued to witness every moment.

        "I can't, Lauris." But my hands are already touching the bike, the handles, the seat, the smooth surface. Everything seems so comfortable, I'd be lying if I said I didn't actually want to keep it.

        "Yes you can, Aliayh. Just take it, it makes your experience easier." His words enter my ears like butter. Such smooth vocals that carry such kind words.

        There isn't anything I can say or do to show my appreciation, so I simplify everything that I'm feeling in two words. "Thank you."

        Shyly Lauris nods looking away at the eye contact I initiate this time. "Yeah."

        There's another pause of silence. The wind breezes pushing the warm air through us. I notice the blonde strands that flow to the direction of the wind before it rests on top of his head more messier than before. I personally like the messier look better, but I don't say that out loud.

        I cough out a sound to finally say something. "Um, I'm making some cheeseballs. Do you want some?"

        I notice the surprised reaction on Lauris's face before he tucks it away. "Yeah, sure."

        I nod back a response before grabbing hold of the bike and pulling it towards the front door. I hear Lauris behind me as I set the bike by the front door for me to pick up later before stepping inside.

        Lauris eyes gives a quick tour of my Airbnb as I make my way into the kitchen that's to the right. He takes a little longer to get to me due to his curiosity. "Nice place." He comments.

        "Thanks, got lucky with this one." I didn't notice the mess I made here until now. There's random plates and utensils everywhere, so I grab what I can fit in my two hands and drop them into the sink. "I think it should be cooked. I didn't turn the stove off when I left though.."

        "Stove?" Lauris's voice is louder and I realize he's entered himself into the kitchen.

        I nod, turning my head to him. "Yeah."

        "Aliyah, you fried your cheeseballs?" The lack of trust he has for me is honestly disappointing.

        "The guy on the street made it like this and it was really good." I speak in confidence as I turn to my stove and find my Cheeseballs darker than what I know it's supposed to be. Before I can react, Lauris's hand slips in front of me and turns off the stove. He doesn't speak, he knows he doesn't need to. All he does is tuck his hands into his pocket and look down at my reaction. "Well in my defense I'm just a bad cook." There, secrets out.

        Lauris chuckles at what he could've told me minutes ago. "You still got some ingredients left?"

        I turn my head around the kitchen at the mess that has yet to be cleaned. "I think so." I have no idea how half of these things got out here but I look back at Lauris and he's rolling his sleeves up taking a look around at what he's working with. After a moment, those brown eyes land on me and take his hands on my shoulders. "Okay you just sit here and I'll remake this."

        I'm pushed to the chair on the other side of the counter before Lauris makes his way back around. "I'm sure they aren't that bad." I refuse to sit.

        "They're pretty bad." Lauris takes the pan bringing them over to the sink and drops it.

        My lips thin embarrassed at my creation. "I'll just get the wine."

        "Great choice."

-

        Some more time has passed and Lauris is wrapping the dough over the mozzarella. Apparently you bake the cheeseballs to give it a soft and fluffy texture, the more you know. His hands are large making the veins that grow that much noticeable. He moves the dough over the cheese and seals it like he's done this before. "You're pretty good with your hands. You know how to cook?" Everything looks pretty good. The way his hair is falling over his eyes while looking down, the muscles that are stretched for me to look at, and his eyes that are looking at me watch his hands move. Shit.

        "Yeah." Lauris flips his head back forcing his blonde streaks in the right place. "My dad taught me growing up, it was like our bonding thing."

        My lips spread at the thought. "You're still close now?"

        Lauris shrugs looking back down at the ball he just created before putting it on a different plate and starting a new one. "When you get older sometimes you don't reach out as often." He places the mozzarella in the middle of the dough before looking at me. "But I know he'll pick up if I call him." I felt the comfort he shares in my chest, my heart warming at the beauty of their relationship.

        I'm suddenly eager to know more about the man who's making me dinner. "How about your mom?" I ask, my voice softening at the question.

        I notice the way his next breath is longer than the others. "She passed away when I was a kid." His eyes aren't on mine anymore and focusing on the pattern his fingers are already used to.

        "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

        "No it's fine." Lauris smiles but his dimples don't show. "I don't have many memories of her anyways."

        I curl my fingers at the stand of the wine glass in front of me. "That must be hard."

        Lauris shakes his head. "Better for me, honestly. I don't have anything to get triggered about." His smile lasts through the whole sentence before tilting his head up again finished with the ball. "Are you close with your parents?"

        This time I took a sip of the wine. "Yeah, kind of. They live in Ohio so it's a I'll see you in the holidays type of relationship." I don't feel the same comfort I felt when hearing about Lauris's relationship with his dad. "I have a sister, though."

        His head lifts at the words. "Yeah? Y'all close?"

        I kiss my lips at the thought. "No actually, we never really were." My eyes land on the liquid in front of me. It's clear color forces my reflection to look back at me, the woman is someone I don't want to talk about.

        Lauris moves onto his last cheeseball. "How come?"

        I shrug at the reflection. "It's a mystery to me." I force myself back to Lauris and inhale a deep breath. "I guess we just never connected the way you and your dad did."

        "Hmm." The look in Lauris's eyes is different then from a moment ago and he allows me to see it before picking up the plate of the rolled dough and grabbing a dipping brush from the counter.

        "What?"

        "Nothing." He dips the brush in the mixture he made before gliding it over the dough.

        "Say it."

        He pauses resting his wrist on the counter. His body is leaned a little forward, putting his weight onto his hands that are right across from me. "Is that why you drown yourself in your work?" The question flies out like he's known me longer than he really has.

        I scuff grabbing hold of my cup. "I don't drown in my work. I have more to my life than a disconnected family and that job."

        "Yeah?" Lauris returns to painting the dough. "What do you got?"

        My posture straightens, turning the glass in slow circles as the liquid moves around. "I have other relationships and go to the bar every Friday with my best friends." I smile proudly at my life.

        Lauris lifts his head at me while keeping his hand at work. "Every Friday?"

        "Yeah, it's like our bonding thing."

        The man in front of me laughs at my tease while shaking his head. After buttering all the dough he takes the bowl and tool in his hands and walks over to the sink. "So they're gonna be going without you this month."

        I hear the materials drop in the sink. "I guess so. I'll be here with my wine and there in spirit."

        Lauris turns around to rest his weight on the sink. His arms cross on his chest before speaking. "Why don't we go this Friday?"

        I set down my wine leaning closer to the counter. "It's kind of like a thing I do with my friends."

        "Oh, we're not friends?" He throws out a laugh. "I'm cooking you cheeseballs." His reaction makes my stomach bubble until I release my laugh. "I took your first Polaroid, and don't forget about your new favorite flavor I introduced you to."

        I wave my hands in the air until he stops and I'm allowed to breathe again. "I'm sorry, yes we are friends, Lauris." My smile is still left from the laugh and he notices creating his own.

        "Okay so.."

        I nod my head at him. "Sure, let's go."

-

        I sit on my couch crossing my legs like a kid while watching Lauris walk over with a plate full of cheeseballs that looked nothing like mine did. My body faces him as he sits down mimicking my position. I don't comment on it, just notice it. He places the plate on his lap and I set my second glass of wine next to his cup that's still full.

        My mouth is salivating just at the look at the golden bread that's laced with seasoning I can't even point out. Lauris notices my impatience and takes a ball between his index finger and thumb. "You try it first." Lauris suggests.

        "Okay." I raise my hand to the plate but find Lauris's cheese ball aiming at my mouth. "Lauris."

        "It's a Swedish thing."

        I pull my eyebrows together. "I've never heard of this before."

        "Well you don't live here." Lauris doesn't move his hand away even when I don't respond. I hesitate but soon open my mouth wide enough for him to slip the cheeseball in. "It's definitely not a Swedish thing." He leans back with the laugh that leaves his lips and I push him back further.

        I'm soon distracted by the flavors that overflow my mouth. My eyes widen at the taste, and I can't even believe it's better than the one I had earlier. "It's so good." I comment covering my mouth with a hand.

        Lauris raises his eyebrows after returning to his original position. "Yeah?" I nod too many times. "What do you taste?"

        I put down a finger. "Garlic, cheese-"

        "What kind?" He raises his eyebrows.

        "Mozzarella." I say with a pour of attitude then put down a couple more fingers.

        "Good."

        "And it has like a kick to it." Lauris lifts a corner of his lips at my observation. "Paprika?" And now he's laughing at me.

        "No, not paprika." Lauris takes his arm and bends it on the couch for his head to rest on.

        I close my eyes at the embarrassment. "You know I can't cook, don't test me." I beg.

        "Red wine vinegar."

        I open my eyes, raising my eyebrows. "I didn't even see you pour that in."

        He shrugs. "You were paying attention to something else." My mind immediately clicks to where he is and rolls my eyes at his tease. "I like adding red wine to my food, it's good for the heart."

        I take a cheeseball from the plate. "It's also good for my tummy. Gimme."

-

        "Okay your turn." I watch Lauris take a card from the pile in between us. "Worst hair era, ooh." His face cringes at the image that appears in his head.

        "Oh, you ready for this one?" I hold the glass tighter in my hand already having to hold in my laugh.

        Lauris reaches to the table for his glass and brings it to his lips. "Give it to me."

        "Senior year of high school I really wanted to go blonde. So I spontaneously bleached and dyed my hair by myself but I also gave myself too much of a side part and basically couldn't see half the time." Lauris chuckle enters my ears. "Here's the worst part, I never redyed it so there was always this line separating my brown hair and the blonde."

        "No one ever told you how weird that looked?" Lauris questions.

        I shake my head. "My friends said it looked great, and I actually believed them." I broke into laughter at the realization that Bailey and Maye are such terrible friends.

        Lauris shakes his head in disbelief. "Never show me any pictures of that."

        My hand raises. "I swear." They drop before I take another sip of my wine. "Your turn."

        "I had a buzz cut sometime in college. Got drunk with some friends and decided this was going to change my life." Cringe spreads all over Lauris face so bad he needs a sip of his wine.

        "What? I can't imagine a buzz cut not looking good on you." My lips thin right after the words escape.

        His head tilts to the right. "Is that so?"

        Slowly, I nod. "You just have a handsome face that's all..." It's just getting worse, I need to keep quiet.

        Lauris chuckles looking away. "Well you haven't seen the photos." The hand that holds his glass reaches out to the table and sets it down before returning his arm.

        I shrug a response and pull out another card for him to read out. Lauris takes it and reads it over. "Favorite artist."

        I lean back comfortably. "Easy, Beyoncé."

        "Beyoncé?"

        I point my finger at him. "Choose your next words carefully." I watch as he scuffs a laugh. "What do you listen to, hater?"

        "Me personally," He flattens his hand to his chest in effect. "I enjoy some jazz."

        My head drops into my hands so quickly. "Don't ever disrespect Beyoncé like that when jazz is your answer."

        "Jazz is the most peaceful genre there possibly is."

        I peek my eye out of my hand. "How do you possibly dance to jazz?" When I see the smirk appear on his lips, I drop my face again. Jazz music is suddenly being played on Lauris's phone as loud as it can go and I feel the couch become lighter. I pick up my head and watch how Lauris slowly begins to sway to the audio playing. "Lauris."

        "Aliyah." His hand is poured out to me but I get up without taking it. He doesn't react and instead continues dancing peacefully while looking at me. "Sway your hips, and relax."

        This doesn't feel right on my body, how does this feel right on anyone's body? My thoughts might as well have a voice because Lauris can read right through me. He sets his hands on my shoulders dropping them, I didn't even realize how tense they were. "Relax." He repeats like that's going to fix me.

        I shake my shoulders so they are more loose and continue trying to find the rhythm that feels good to me. Lauris, on the other hand, closes his eyes while he dances to the song that sings through his phone.

        His head is tilted back and there's a slight smile lifting his cheek. The dirty blonde hair falls backward revealing the fair skin I haven't paid attention to. I forgot how Lauris looks this close. How thick his eyebrows really are and the length of his lashes. I never even notices how plump and pink his lips are-

        I find Lauris looking at me but I don't recall watching him move. I zoned out finding his eyes somehow on mine. My body has slowly stopped moving and he is slowing down. The alcohol begins to put its weight on my eyelids pushing them lower than I want them. Lauris backs up to a reasonable distance before turning off the music and sitting down.

        After a moment, I met him back on the couch. He grabs a card and hands it out to me without speaking. I take it because I rather talk about something new. I look down at the card and read the words before shaking my head. "Another one."

        Lauris shakes his head back at me. His knees bend to his chest and wrap his arm around it. "Nah, you can't do that."

        I sigh before looking back at the card. "Have you ever been in love?" I push out my lip waiting for him to speak.

        "Well, have you?"

        I nod in response.

        "This seems like an ex."

        My chest inhales as I look up to Lauris. "I answered the question, it didn't say to explain." Lauris nods, choosing to not push. "Your turn." I whisper.

        Lauris looks down at the deck of cards in front of him as his mind finds the right words. "No, I haven't."

        I lean in to him in special effect. "There was no special girl?"

        He finally looks up to me. "I think of love kind of differently than most people." My body leans into the couch patiently waiting for Lauris to explain. "I believe true love is very rare to find but we as humans want to experience it so much our brains tricks us to think we are in love when in reality that's not the emotion we're feeling." He pauses to mimic my position on the couch. "That doesn't mean you didn't have something beautiful, but if it doesn't work out, it just wasn't true love."

        I give a couple seconds of silence before allowing myself to speak. "What if something tragic happened, like they died. You don't expect them to move on?"

        "What might've happened to them doesn't matter. You'll always be mourning them because that's who you love, that's who you wish to be with in another life. If anything, that feeling of acceptance is enough to fill you up for the rest of your life until you meet them again." Lauris is looking at me differently. There's more color in his eyes, more full. "There's been women in my past but I've never fallen in love with them. I just haven't found her yet."

-

        There's a light burning my eyes that are glued shut. When I force them open, my vision immediately becomes blurry at the sensitivity. I look over at my body and find a blanket over myself as I lay on the couch. The sunlight drags into the kitchen that's been washed clean from last night's mess, and when I look over to the door the bike Lauris bought me leans on the wall.

        My face tightens in confusion. I look over at the coffee table and find my phone. I reach out to tap the screen and read the time.

        9:48am.