Dress shopping with Mom became a girl's trip with Bee and Rachel. The four of us piled into Rachel's jeep, heading out of Bellcreek and into a part of the city that was a little more high-end.

Mom, who had been excited about this all week, was on edge now. Probably because Dad randomly decided he wanted weekends with Taylor. He initially asked to see us both, but I declined.

It wasn't like he didn't know how to take care of her or that he'd neglect her or do anything to hurt her. I just couldn't shake the possibility that he was parading her around for some client, pretending to be a struggling single father. It was gross.

The thought was put on the back burner as Bee held up flowy fuchsia gown with a beaded bodice to my body. "I think this color would look nice on you."

I examined the dress. It did look nice against my rich brown complexion, but I thought it'd be a better fit for Bee. "I think it'd look better with your eyes."

Bee turned to one of the many full length mirrors throughout the boutique , holding the dress up to herself. "True."

"I think either one of you would be turning heads in that gown," the eager sales woman, a petite lady with a brunette bob and name tag that read Hillary, said. Her smile was so wide and forced she reminded me of a clown. Clearly, she was desperate to make a sale.

"No, thanks," Bee said as she handed the dress back to the woman. "I'm wearing a suit, like Queen Zendaya."

Hillary's face lit up like a firework. "We just had a new shipment of women's suites a few days ago. Let me show you."

As Bee and the sale's woman headed to the other side of the store, I went to find Mom and Rachel in the back having complimentary coffee and cookies.

"You find anything?" Mom asked.

I shook my head. We'd been to three stores already, yet nothing had called out to me. Maybe if I wasn't so distracted texting Nolan the whole time.

Our messaging back and forth slowed down when Nolan told his mom I was shopping for a prom dress and that was why I couldn't come for dinner that night. Now Nolan and her were searching for suits. Every so often I'd get a text from him complaining about being groped by "aggressive" tailors.

"Nope," I said, picking up a cookie from her plate. Then I turned to Rachel to fill her in, "Bee's looking at suits."

Rachel was visibly relieved. "Thank God. She'd been trying to get the suit Brian wore to our wedding altered to fit her," she explained. Then a sad frown appeared on her face. "It's been years, but I just can't let it go."

Mom reached over, taking Rachel's hand and giving it a quick squeeze. Just as she let go, Bee walked over.

She wore a suit in the same color of fuchsia as the dress she looked at earlier. That color really did go well with her green eyes.

She did a couple of poses. "Tell me I don't look good in this, I dare you."

Of course the three of us did the exact opposite. Rachel threw out shoe ideas and Mom suggested she wear her hair up so show off the design on the lapels and Hillary stood there beaming , probably at the thought of her commission.

Bee looked gorgeous, but I couldn't help but wonder how Nolan would look in a suit. Every thought I had lead back to Nolan one way or another. He was taking up a permanent residence in my head. Not that I minded.

As Rachel and Bee went with Hillary to talk about purchasing the suit, Mom and hooked her arm through mine and dragged me down more displays of impeccably dressed mannequins.

"You don't see anything in here that you like?"

"Not really," I said, letting out a defeated sigh. "What'd you wear to your prom?"

"A hideous green thing I've successfully blocked from my mind until now," she laughed, hiding her face in shame. "It was bad!"

"Well, that narrows my selection down," I chuckled. "Staying away from the green."

"Good idea," she agreed, pausing at a gold dress with a split that went up to about mid-thigh. "What about this one?"

"You're going to allow me to show off that much leg?" I said jokingly. "Don't you know boys will be at prom?"

"Quiet. I'm going to find someone so you can try it on."

As she went to track down an employee, I snapped a picture of the mannequin and sent it to Nolan. A few seconds later a video chat request popped up. Nolan face lit up my screen.

"I'll have more opinions after I see you in the dress."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "You'll have to wait for prom night. How are things on your end?"

"Mom tapped out." The flash of sadness I saw in his eyes made me think that it wasn't because she got bored looking at men's suits.

Alison had been getting worse. She had to be rushed to the hospital the other night, which was why Nolan didn't call me like he usually did. It was subtle changes I noticed whenever I was over at Nolan's. A lot of the time she was either sleeping or at the doctor's for tests. Nolan didn't talk about it much, but I knew it was weighing on him.

I chose not to ask him about her health, not over video chat at least. He was more willing to talk when I was within reach. It was like I was some sort of anchor for him, keeping him from floating back out to whatever place he was in before we met.

"Are you getting food?" I asked instead. In the background I could hear someone shout out a number. When I looked closer I saw that he was at a fast food place.

"Yep. We were craving onion rings." The light was back in his eyes, thankful for the subject change.

But just as soon as it came it was out again at the sound of some girl calling out "Nole", replaced with a look I couldn't pinpoint. She was out of frame so I couldn't see who it was. Before I could ask he was rushing off the phone.

The call ended and I was stuck staring at my phone, dumbstruck.

* * *

"Who was she?" Bee asked as we waited in her room until our mom's finished making dinner.

The two of us sat on her yellow futon, making room for ourselves among the stuffed animals that resided there. We were done shopping. Bee had her suit. I was too out of it to get the dress Mom had picked out. All I wanted was to leave the store.

I knew I was overreacting. So, he was talking to a girl who knew him well enough to give him a nickname. It shouldn't matter that much. I wasn't some super possessive person.

No matter how many time I repeated that to myself I couldn't stop the jealousy coursing through me. Why'd he get off the phone so quickly? Why didn't he call me back?

"I don't know." My hand itched to pick up the phone and ask Nolan that question myself. I didn't want him to think I was crazy, though.

"Did he seem happy to see her?" I shrugged. "And she called him Nole? Who's running around calling Lonnie Nole?"

That was a good question. The only person I ever heard call him that was his dad. And that girl...

"His ex." That realization was like a ton of bricks, crushing every part of me.

Even Bee was stunned into silence. "What ex?"

I shook the thoughts creeping into my mind. When I overheard them homecoming night it was obvious he hated her. I had nothing to worry about. But that didn't stop my worrying. Because I needed some reassurance on the matter I told Bee about their argument that night.

"J, he's not running away to travel the world with her," she assured me after I filled her in. "He probably hung up on you so he could tell her to go fu—"

Her phone rang, cutting her off. "It's Gia," she said, a smile stretching across her face. Then she set her phone down, turning back to me. "But she can wait. You and I are talking."

Seriously, I didn't deserve her as a best friend. "Talk to your girlfriend."

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Positive?"

"Bee."

"Thank you!" She hugged me before answering her phone and leaving the room for more privacy.

I picked up my own phone, toying with the idea of calling Nolan. After a long internal debate, I hit call.

"Sorry," he said as soon as he picked up. "I didn't mean to hang up like that."

Refraining from asking about his ex, I opted for a simple, "Is everything okay?"

"No, yeah." I didn't have to see him to know his hand was in his hair because he was lying. "I saved you some onion rings. Usual spot?"