Jessica woke up the next morning with a wet cloth over her forehead. The fever from last night had subsided and she felt weak, yet better now. She heard some utensils collide in the kitchen and immediately tried to get up and check it out. But her head went dizzy the moment she tried to get off the bed.

"It's me."

"..."

"You called me last night, but did not say anything." He chuckled nervously. "I was kind of worried... so I came to check it out..."

Jessica nodded. Now, her head hurt even worse.

She did not remember calling him, or even touching her phone. Then again, she did not remember a lot of things from last night. As she was contemplating on what and how and why, what happened did happen- he brought Jessica breakfast in bed.

Her appetite had returned, but not so much. She had half of what was on the plate, then fell asleep. Even though she slept the whole night yesterday, her body was tired like she did not have even a minute of rest.

Also, when she woke up this time, hopefully this man would be gone.

Deja vu- this time, when Jessica woke up, she was served some snacks in bed along with hot coffee. She felt so much better not just from the hospitality, but of course she would feel so much worse without it. She thanked the universe internally for actually sending someone to take care of her while she was sick, but also blamed the same universe for making her sick in the first place.

The universe, however, had its own plan.

"You didn't go back...?"

The head shook in no. Somehow, the face held a guilty demeanor.

"Well.." Jessica smiled, "Now you should head back, I'm truly better now." She assured him. "Besides there's a lot of work-"

"Jessica." His breath hitched.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I..."

"What is it?" Now, she was truly concerned. After what had happened days ago...

"I... I am gonna have to say this to you..."

"..."

"Last night... " He calmed himself, took a deep breath and continued. It was as if he were handing in a confession to the police officer who could condemn him to death for the acts he had comittefd. 

"You were burning with fever and I had the silliest idea.
You were shivering, face all red, leaning closer and closer against me.. and in the heat of the moment, I did what I shouldn't have.
I kissed you, I loved you again." He whispered, and all she could do was look in his eyes, search them for the truth. For she knew, she had loved him too.

Amongst the chaos in all that he said to her, he realized his side of events were no better than at her side.

He recalled the instant when she had called him, desperate and sick last night. He was sure she could barely be conscious enough to even be sure of what she was saying, perhaps she was dreaming, or maybe the fever was just too much.

He recalled laying next to Portia right then. She was trying to spoon feed him a warm tomato soup she had just cooked, with a genuine warm smile on her face. No matter how hateful the woman was to Jessica, she truly liked Ryan.

But before he could get a sip of it, his phone rang. Portia's face turned shades darker when she saw the name that flashed on screen. She put down the bowl and stated firmly, "No." She knew, she was on the losing end of things, somewhere inside her mind she knew. And it hurt.

Ryan picked up the call regardless. One word from her mouth, in her broken voice was enough to get him to jump out of bed and rush for her place. He did not want to be late, rather hoped to be perfectly on time, just this once.

Portia however, was not taking the bullet to bleed alone. She was not this kind of woman.

"One step out for that woman and we are over, Ryan."

She knew it, perhaps since the time Liam knew it. Or even before that. Lest what should cause her to be so on guard against Jessica? Someone who did not even bother to stand up to her?

Ryan turned back to look at her. He had made his mind.

"When I come back, I'll take my things and leave."

Then, the front door closed with a thud. The thud not as loud as the one within Portia.

But right now, for Jessica time was rather distorted, and only regained momentum when Ryan had finally left her place.

***

"Liam?" 

"Hello? Jessica?"

"I... let's meet. I'd fly back tonight."

"No need, I'd be at your place. Give me three days."

"Liam.." Jessica begged. "It cannot be delayed."

He knew. "I'll be there."

Immediately after the call disconnected, Jessica had contacted a lawyer. 

But it was barely-

debatable.

The stage was set.

***

As Jessica waited for her visitor to show up, she recalled the morning and its rather... tedious events.

"What do you mean, Ryan?"

Ryan shook his head, eyes widened in disbelief, face red with shame.

"What do you mean, you loved me again?" Jessica whispered, her heart sinking down.

Ryan chuckled nervously. "Yeah... I misspoke. It wasn't that I loved you again." He looked right into Jessica's eyes. As did she, steering straight into his. "I loved you, in the back of my head, all this time."

"STOP!" Jessica could not bring herself to continue listening anymore. She recalled the realizations that one night gave her, shooting daggers in her guts. It hurt, the way she thought she ruined it all. But now with the utter nonsense Ryan had been spitting in front of her, she was not only guilty of... it counted as infidelity, to her. Only making her hate herself a little more.

She wondered and wondered and blamed the time for never being right. Why couldn't Ryan say those words to her in school? When she was a mad little hormonal teenager with the love arrow shot straight at her, when her eyes were literal hearts when they glanced at him!? Why couldn't he say he wanted to be with her when they were in college, when... Liam had not come into her life? Why? Why not then? Why now, when her life was at perfection? Why now when her world was what any woman would desire. When she had all that she ever wanted. All in a perfect way.

What girl wouldn't want to be desired? What girl would not want to be loved? Being all through those feelings of loneliness and feeling less worthy and jealous of what every other girl- whether or not a friend of her- used to get back in school, what Jessica always wanted the most was to fit in and... just find that one perfect person to be with.

She could not control herself any longer and sobbed uncontrollably at the turn of events. She hated again, how she loved Ryan for years, and he did not love her back. How she thought she was over him, but her brain put him at the pedestal like the only prize she had to win, no matter how perfect the one thing she earned was. She reminisced about Liam. And sobbed again. With guilt.

Ryan stood there like a mannequin, unable to fathom any thoughts, any actions to help Jessica. He was content, with what he said. Now that he had finally let the secret off of his chest.

But there were more bitter words he would have to speak. Now that she was already stained in tears, what could be worse?

"Jessica-" 

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!?" Jessica screamed through her sobs. Hating it yet again, how vulnerable she was being. But she too, had to let it off her chest. For once, for good. Ryan shut his mouth as soon as he had opened it. Perhaps, he should wait a little longer.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU RUINED IT ALL!" Jessica picked up a pillow on her bed and hugged it so tight it would almost die of suffocation had it been alive. "YOU RUINED IT ALL!"

"I-"

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY NIGHTS I CRIED BACK THEN? I HUGGED MY MOM AND CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LOVE ME BACK! BECAUSE YOU TOLD ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME LIKING YOU AND THEY ALL MADE FUN OF ME! BECAUSE THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNEW AND LAUGHED AT IT ABOUT ME! BECAUSE IT WAS 'ME' WHO LIKED YOU. 'ME'- A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT" 

Jessica had lost control, and the little girl who had first fallen in love with this unspeaking man standing in front of her took charge of the words that were coming out of her mouth. Who knew if they would even count after all of this was over?

"ALL BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME BACK! FOR ONCE! WHEN I WAS STARTING TO MOVE ON FROM YOU, YOU SHOWED UP IN THE SAME UNI! AND I... I THOUGHT IT WAS FATE! I WAS THAT NAIVE. BUT YOU WERE STILL YOU. NOW THAT I HAVE MY PERFECT LIFE YOU STILL WOULD'T GO AWAY FROM IT? YOU'RE RUINING IT NO MATTER WHAT! I WISH I HAD NEVER KNOWN YOU IN FIFTH GRADE. I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! JUST GO AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME BACK RYAN! FOR MY SAKE AND FOR YOUR OWN!"

When she was done with it, her sobs had reduced to merely overflowing tears. Ryan did not speak a word for another moment.

He nodded to show he will oblige.  But he had to let that one thing off. Knowing fully well, it was a cruel move to end it all.

"Larry. He died because he loved me. And I loved you. He found out, even before I did."

Jessica could feel her head spinning yet she managed to keep her gaze fixated on the dreadful face of the man she had this love-hate relationship with. She could form no words no matter how hard she tried. 

And Ryan left. To never come back again.

***

Liam's flight landed at 6 pm in the evening, not a second late. He had put his phone on airplane mode and forgotten until he had to call for the cab. The moment he unlocked it, he received messages from Jessica. 

It was raining that evening, and Liam stood in the area for cab arrivals. As he undecidedly moved his thumb over the notification of the text, various vehicles passed by him in speed. None however, stopped to know if he was okay.

With a thumping heart he clicked on the text, and his heart sank. Two simple lines. Ensuring that it was the end, for all.

"Here is the thing, it won't work. Sadly we have different plans... and people."

He dare not move his eyes away, for the phone was threatening to slip away from his hand and fall to the ground and shatter into a zillion pieces. He saw it coming, but when it came, it came crashing down. But I guess, his life had already done the deed. As he was coming to terms with what he read, in no better way but to read it over and over again, another message popped in, sparking a glimmer of hope.

But this time, the candle was hushed perfectly.

"Also... you need not come anymore, the lawyers can talk. My business in China would be done soon, I'd be leaving for a better place."

Liam chuckled bitterly. Hurt would be visible deeply in his eyes, had one passerby cared enough to stay and look and ask. But the world was suddenly a place ten shaded darker. And not gray, all black; all black.

"So... we are not to see each other, ever again, then?"

Liam turned back. He needed a return ticket.

***
But only if deleting someone from your life was as easy as deleting one single text message. The more time that had spent with you, the more it was more than one text. It was a gallery full of their photos, and videos that were shot in moment they were least expecting it. It was late night discussions of how Mr. Boss at work was being a dick at work, or an early morning delivery guy that bought flowers cause they had ordered for the other one. The more time you spend with someone, slowly and steadily they are a part of you, and they have slowly stolen an essence of you, a piece of you, and molded it with a piece of themselves. They no longer live in one way texts in your phone, or images or call recordings- they now demand a larger villa in your heart, free of cost, free of rant. Which you are more than happy to grant them, because that is how much you love them. Not knowing things that are leased for free, are often emptied as deem fit. 

If only... one text could change it all...

***