I got no sleep last night. And when I was finally ready to sleep my alarm went off. I get up and go to my bathroom and look into the mirror. I have big dark circles under my eyes and it looked even worse with my skin paling like this. My hair was oily and knotted. My eyes had become increasingly pale and was an icy blue. I'm sure I've lost 15 pounds since I last looked into the mirror. God, I'm becoming uglier by the hour. No wonder John thinks there's a problem, I look like I've been thrown under the bus then hit by one. Even worse by my fresh cuts are now dark scars and I don't think there's make up for that.

Your hideous.

I put on a black sweater with dark blue jeans and a black scarf. I just want to hide my face from the world. I want to be normal. But its far to late for me to try to do that, I'm way to far in this game to go back, even if I tried to. "Sherlock! Were going to be late!" I hear Watson yell. I suck it up and leave. The second Watson see's me his face drops completely. "Your not going to work." I'm taken aback by his words. "Excuse me?" "Your not going to work, you look way to sick." I scoffed. "Who do you think you are?" "Sherlo-" "No." I cut him off. "Watson, I'm not staying here, and if you make me walk, I swear on everything I know, you will not live to see another day." He pauses as a wave of shock crosses his face. Then he just sighs. "Alright." He complies. We walk to the car and I put in my headphones, not listening to anything, because I'm not much of a music fan, but maybe no one will talk to me if I have them in.

As were driving a loud bang is heard and everything happens in slow motion. I see Watson turning the wheel hard looking scared out of his mind. Glass shatters everywhere, but I see the people of the street whipping there heads in our direction, and I see each and everyone of there faces... There's a mom with long brown hair pulled into a pony tail with a shocked expression, her child clings onto her with fear on her face, there is a few bikers looking at the scene unfolding before there eyes with amusement, shock, and remorse, and I feel like I can see every detail from a wrinkle on there faces, to every shattered piece of glass in the air. Suddenly, There's no gravity as the world is pulled from under me. Everything is turned upsidedown and I feel a hard bang to my back and head. We flip over a few more times till we hit something swallowing us. I see blurry and can't breathe blood starts to float in the blur. Watson is gone from the drivers seat. I just close my eyes as I sink into the vortex letting the universes sick humor play out. The last thing I see is an arm reaching for me as the world closes its shutters, and all I see is black.

No one see's you...

When you cry

When you hurt

When you fall

When you need help

Or when you die

All I see is bright white in my vision.

Am I dead?

"Sherlock?" I look over to see a figure staring at me, my vision was blurry and I couldn't tell who it was, he was sitting on a chair next to my bed. "Where am I?" "Your in the hospital, we got into a car crash, remember?" I can't remember anything so I just stayed quiet and tried to make out my vision. "Sherlock, do you know who I am?" "Well I can't bloody see." He just scoffed. "Tch, don't scoff at me." My vision started to clear enough for me to see him roll his eyes. "Watson." I said more to myself then him. "Yes?" I just lied my head back and closed my eyes, trying to remember.

You should of died

These voices came so often I just took in whatever they said. I can't argue with them, there always right, and they wouldn't lie to me. I can't be mad at them, all there doing is being honest and keeping me in check. Then something hits me like a brick making my heart drop into my stomach.

My cuts.

I quickly look up at my arms. There wrapped in bandages. "The doctors said the glass cut you." I look over to Watson. "But I'm not stupid." I look away in shame. "Why would you do something like that to yourself? Why would you do this to the people who care about you?" "Tch, Like who?" "Like me." He says seriously.

Don't listen to him

He'll stab you in the back

He doesn't love you, or care about you.

"I don't appreciate dishonesty, Watson, and you know that." "And I don't appreciate Hippocrates, Sherlock, and you are one. Your being the biggest one I know. How could- no, how dare you lie to me in my face?" I was actually hurt by his words. They tore into me like daggers ripping up the skin. "How dare you tell me your fine when your not? And how dare you not trust me enough to take care of you? Sherlock, you ARE human, and you have fucking emotions! So stop acting like your a bloody ROBOT! Damn you Sherlock! This is all my fault! You- you- ... you... Fuck." There was a long silence. "I'm sorry... I just... Wish you would open up to me instead of slowly killing yourself by not saying anything at all." "John... I-... I don't know what to say to that... Why... Why do you care so much?" He starts to say something but stops. "Your to smart, and important." He says dodging the question. "Why do intelligent people do such stupid things?" He mutters. "Because, John, every human makes mistakes. And they will repeat that mistake over and over until the right person comes along to help them get over it."