A/N: thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reads, votes and comments! It means the world to me and I love that you all do it! We've hit over 2000 reads...that's insane! I never thought anyone would actually read this so it's pretty awesome! Here's Harry's POV, I hope it's not too repetitive, I do stress about that a lot but sometimes the dialogue has to be repeated or it won't make any sense...I'm glad you all bear with me doing that! x

Harry's POV

I'm stunned.

Absolutely stunned.

I just...I never imagined...

I mean, I knew there had to be a husband somewhere in all this.

But I just look at her and I had no idea.

I don't know what to say to her, I mean fuck, what the hell do you say to something like that?

My hand slips from Beth's back as I run my hand through my hair a couple of times as I quietly contemplate what I should say.

I'm just...

Fuck.

I see her shoulders slump and for the first time she literally does look broken.  I know she's so much stronger than that but she really does look so tiny and fragile.

She takes a breath in and her whole body shudders and it makes my heart break.

I don't know what to say to her so I decide to wrap my arms around her and just hold her, as my head rests next to her head, and hope that it's a start, that she knows I'm here for her.

And I'm not going anywhere.

She lets out another shaky breath so I hold her tighter to me and I hope it comforts her.

Then she starts to talk and it's like someone has opened the flood gates within her because it all comes out as fast as she can get it out.

I forget that it's actually Summer when they have Christmas but they still cooked a roast lunch.  I'm actually surprised to find out it was at Nick's request and not Jamie's though I'm sure there were no complaints from him about it.

Beth almost looks like she's in a trance so I decide to give her a question that's out of the ordinary to keep her from totally regressing back to the day.

"Was it a good lunch?" I ask her.

And it does seem to take her by surprise as she stops and thinks about it.

"Yeah," she says, "everyone raved about the turkey, even Chloe, and that kid is so fussy she could pick the fly shit out of pepper!"

I can't help but silently laugh as that doesn't surprise me. 

To then find out her husband was a volunteer firefighter is pretty amazing.

But to hear it was what took his life left me feeling quite gutted for Beth and the kids to be honest.

How do you process something like that and move on?

"That's a pretty selfless thing to do," I tell her, and it is, to put your life on the line for others.

And it's not even your actual occupation either.

"It is," Beth agrees, before she stops and takes another deep breath and I can see she's trying hard to calm herself.

She won't go into details and for that I'm actually thankful.  It's probably sounds selfish of me but I don't know if I could stand to hear it.

It's then that Beth tries to put into words how she coped with losing her husband.

I suppose I've never really thought about it as I've never lost anyone close to me.

She tries to describe it to me and I liken it to being in your own world of pain and grief but no one else around you sees it.  You think that everyone around you should stop to grieve with you but they don't.  Or they stop momentarily and once the formalities are over, they go back to normal, well, as normal as they can. 

And it's like 'how can they?'

That is the reality of death. 

It stops for that one person who suddenly ceases to exist, but the world itself doesn't stop for death.

As is the saying, 'life goes on,' even if you don't want to.

She doesn't sound stupid, not in the least, and I tell her so.

And with that I see a tiny smile play on her lips.

Then she let's go of the wire fence and curls her arms up and onto my own which cuddle her.  She clings to me like she's scared I'll leave.

I won't leave her and I pull her closer to me and I hear her quietly sigh.

Then it hits me.

Surely she has family around her to help her?

She has three children who suddenly don't have a father, and she no longer has a husband.  This is surely the time for their family to rally around Beth and the kids?

"You have family around you though?" I ask and I immediately regret it as I feel her body tense in my arms.

"They were never around much when he was alive so why the fuck would they want to start now?" she says and I hear the bitterness in her voice.

"They don't help you?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"They never did before," she says and there is anger in her voice now, "I don't need their fucking help now, I can do it on my own."

Fuck me.

This just makes me want to cry for her, for her kids.

It's so fucking wrong.

"Let's just say that my step sister has always gotten all the help in the world and I haven't and then they can't help but wonder why I've distanced myself from them," she spits out, "I'd rather be alone than beg them for help."

I kiss the top of her head because truthfully, I'm way too pissed off and I don't want to say something out of turn and upset her further.

"Do they know you're here?" I ask hesitantly.

"Some do," she says, "and some I couldn't give a flying fuck about."

That's my Beth.

I can't help but laugh out loud this time.

So I understand that her family hasn't been there for her as a support network, but I'm still confused as to why she's flown herself and her kids around the other side of the world for Christmas.

"So you're here because..." I ask and I hope it doesn't anger her.

"I thought we should be anywhere but there for Christmas," she says, "but I guess I'm just running away and not facing up to the reality of it all," she shrugs her shoulders.

I don't think you can run away from people who don't care about you.  They wouldn't care that you have.  She's done nothing but try and make life better for her kids, no one can fault her for that.  She is simply trying to do the best thing for her kids.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I need to make her realise this as I see the guilt eating away at her.

I turn Beth around so she faces me, but she won't look at me, instead her eyes are trained at the ground.  My left hand gently moves to her waist and my right hand reaches under her chin and I lift her face up so she's now looking at me.

I smile at her as her beautiful blue eyes look at mine.

"I don't think you made a mistake coming here Beth," I tell her, "but I'll pretend you have and go along with your theory for a moment."

She doesn't say anything; she simply frowns at me.

It wasn't a mistake coming here, she needs to see that.

She's come into my life for reasons I don't know why yet, but I think this is why I've come into hers.

"Can you give me a chance to make this 'mistake' of yours worth making?" I ask her.

"I don't know where to begin, if I'm being honest," she looks so lost as she sighs.

Baby steps is what she needs to take. 

Baby steps and I'll be by her side and I'll hold her hand while she does it.

We can start by going back into the house and seeing how the Christmas tree decorating is faring.

I move my arm to put it around her shoulder to draw her closer to me and keep her there.

Fuck she is absolutely ice cold!

In her haste she's come outside with no coat on, just her thin top.

I need to get her inside and warm her up so I gently pull her with me towards the house.

I go to open the door and I feel Beth reach out and cover my hand with hers.

"Thank you," she says, "for everything...for just...being you."

I'll be any damn thing you want me to be love.

And I don't know if it's stupid of me but before I can stop myself, I bend down and kiss her gently on the forehead.

She's like a little icicle as I feel her shaking from the cold.

I open the door and find that the kids have clearly had the time of their lives as they finish decorating the tree.  They are just about to plug in the lights and turn them on. 

I'm glad Beth didn't miss that.  I'm not sure what's brighter, the lights or their smiles.

I'm glad she can see the happiness on their faces and hear the excitement in their laughter.

That this isn't a mistake.

Then I think the 'mum' part of her takes over straightaway and she goes over and begins to clean up the mess that's currently spread over the lounge room floor.

I decide to go into the kitchen and begin to make hot chocolates for everyone, but especially to help warm Beth up.

"Oh my god!" Jamie suddenly yells.

I nearly drop a mug.

"There's Christmas stockings in here!" he's beside himself, "there's three of them in here!"

Ah shit.

I'd forgotten about those.

I hope Beth doesn't get upset with me again.

The kids go running up the stairs to put them into their rooms.

I pretend that hot chocolate making takes all of my concentration as I focus entirely on them, even though I know Beth is looking at me right now.

"What is that?  Why...Harry I don't have anything to put in them!" she whispers furiously at me.

Ah...but I do.

I simply smile and take her mug of hot chocolate over to Beth and hope it distracts her.

"I know you don't, but I do," I whisper as I can see her start to stress again.

If I didn't know better, I would say the look she gives me indicates she would very much like to kick me in the ass.

I hope not though.

I bruise like a peach.

"Fine," she glares at me, "just because I agree doesn't mean I like it Harry."

Harry 1 Beth 0

She walks over to the couch and sits down and I follow her, deciding to sit next to her this time.  Closer but I leave a little bit of space so I'm not crowding her.

I want to talk some more with her until I hear what sounds like thunder coming down the stairs.

"Ooh are those for us?" I hear Jamie say.

I swear that kid has a nose that would put an airport sniffer dog to shame.

But Beth actually surprises me when she starts the conversation.

I notice her cheeks look a bit pinker now, not as pale as she was when we were outside.

"So I assume you'll be with your family tomorrow night?" she asks.

What?

Well I suppose I should think about seeing them but I think Beth needs me more right now.  Besides, there's nothing special about tomorrow night.

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve..." she reminds me.

I stand corrected.

I don't think she should be here by herself, not after how upset she was today.

I mean, I know she can cope, but why should she just have to 'cope' when she could be with others and not have to?

Oh she should come to mums with me!

You're an ideas man Styles.

"You should come!" I say.

"To what?" she asks, and I can sense her hesitance.

"To mum's, for Christmas Eve, she'd love to meet you!" I say.

"Your mum knows about me?" she says and looks shocked.

"Uh...no, but she wouldn't mind," I say, at least I don't reckon she would.

"Uh...you really should be spending that with your family don't you think?" she says.

"You don't want to come?" I ask, "you'll be here all by yourself though."

I don't like that idea.

"Look, Harry, if you're really bothered by this, why don't you stop in before you go," she says, "I mean, only if you want to, you don't have to of course..."

Of course I would.

"Yeah you should Harry," Jamie says, "mum makes stained-glass cookies for Christmas Eve, they're so yum!" he enthuses.

Well he would know.

"Well only if your mum doesn't mind," I say to him before I turn back to Beth.

"No I don't mind," she says.

Wait.

Is she blushing right now?

She is!

She looks away shyly as she turns her attention to what she should feed the kids for dinner.

"There's a really nice Chinese place that delivers around town," I suggest helpfully, anything for me to stay longer.

She agrees and I decide to go ahead and order for everyone, myself included.

I don't think she really minds.

"Hey mum!  What's this?" Chloe asks.

We both turn around and look at what Chloe has in her hand.

"It's just off the tree isn't it?" Beth says.

"No actually," I say as I walk over to her and take it from her, "it's mistletoe.

"What's mistletoe?" Chloe asks.

"You don't know what mistletoe is?" I ask Chloe before I look at Beth.

"It's not really a tradition in Australia," she says.

"What is it?" Chloe asks again.

"Well," I begin, "mistletoe is a plant that has been considered to increase life and fertility."

"So why do we need it?" Chloe says, "I'm young and I don't need babies."

What the fuck did she just say?

"Well, nowadays, if you hang it up somewhere and two people stand under it, the tradition is for them to kiss," I explain.

"So if I was standing under there with one of my brothers I'd have to kiss them?" Chloe asks, a look of horror on her face.

"Well, maybe just a kiss on the cheek," I laugh.

I decide to go over and hang it above the front door, with absolutely no ulterior motive behind my decision.

"Happy?" Beth asks me.

"Very," I reply.

"Well you'll be answering the door to the delivery guy," she points out.

Harry 1 Beth 1

~~~~~~

Dinner was delicious, as always.  It's from one of my favourite Chinese places. 

Chloe's fussiness with food clearly shows.

She picked every pea out of the damn fried rice.

Pity it wasn't the corn.

We're all sitting around too full to move however Beth catches sight of Chloe trying to hide a yawn so she decides it's time for bed for them.

The boys wander upstairs though Chloe walks over to the front door and peers out the front window.

"Harry, who's that at your car?" she asks.

Fuck.

Beth and I are instantly up and over to the front door as I pull it open to check.

"There's no one there," I say, confused.

I close the door and look at Chloe, wondering what the hell is going on.

She merely smiles at me and points to the roof and I realise.

Mistletoe.

The little bugger holds her cheek out to me and taps it with her finger.

What can I say?

It's not the one I hope to kiss but she's got me here.  I have no choice but to pucker up.

Harry 0 Chloe 1

She goes off to bed and I look over at Beth who is in hysterics at the fact a nine-year-old outsmarted me.

She'll keep.

I suppose I should go home, although I don't want to, I think Beth really should get some sleep.

I open the door again before but I turn back and look at Beth.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, for us, today," she says, "I can't begin to thank you enough."

Oh you have no idea love.

"Actually I think you can," I say which causes her to frown in confusion.

So I point to the roof.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head before she sticks out her cheek just as Chloe did.

I'm afraid that just won't do.

I step forward and hold her face between my hands, and I can't help but run one of my thumbs slowly over her bottom lip.

I look from her eyes then to her mouth and back again, as I wait for her to stop me.

She doesn't so I lean down and place my lips on hers.

I don't move my lips; I just want to feel hers against mine.  I feel like I've waited so long I don't want to rush anything.

I want to savour this.

She still doesn't push me away so I slowly move my mouth against hers and I feel her respond.  I don't want any space between us so I pull her closer to me.

I feel my shirt tighten against me and I realise her hands are grabbing onto it as she kisses me.

But then one of her hands runs through my hair gently and oh my fuck I want her to pull it.

Now I picture her under me, her legs wrapped around me as she pulls roughly on my hair as I fuck her.

And now I need to pull away.

"Beth..." I whisper, my voice is full of lust.

I look her in the eyes and it's all I can do not to pick her up and pin her against the door behind us.

"I really should go," I say with a smile, "otherwise I don't want to be held responsible for what I want to do right now."

And what I really want to do is fuck you up against the door, or the wall, or the couch...

I'm not fussy...really.

"Can I stop by tomorrow afternoon?" I ask.

She nods, clearly flustered as much as I am.

"Goodnight Beth," I say.

"Goodnight Harry," she whispers.

I step out the door and into the cool night air but then I quickly turn back again and place another kiss on her delectable lips.

"Okay, goodnight again," I smile at her.

I run over to my car and hop in. 

I start the car and watch Beth in the rear view mirror, like I always do, as I follow the gravel road.  I watch her walk inside and shut the door behind her.

My lips feel all tingly and I run my fingers over them.

I finally got to kiss her.

And she bloody kissed me back!