A/N: I wrote this in 35 degree heat whilst camping so I hope it sounds okay guys! xo

Beth's POV

A low voice talking filters through to my sub-conscious as I sleep, gently waking me although I would much rather keep sleeping.

Did I fall asleep with the television on?

Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away and let me sleep again.

The pillow is warm as I hug it close to me and I nuzzle my face into it.

I try and pull the pillow closer but the damn thing doesn't seem to want to move.

I'm more awake now and aware that the voice has stopped.

I'm also aware that my pillow doesn't seem as soft against my skin as it should be.

I reluctantly open my eyes to find that I am not snuggling into my pillow, but my nose is in fact rubbing against the side of Harry's thigh.

And my arm is across the tops of them as I cuddle them.

I've got my face in Harry's thigh.

Oh fuck my life.

I move my head slightly and look up to find Harry looking down at me, a smirk on his face.

"Comfy?" he asks me.

Well, yes actually.

I let go of Harry and pull away from him, burying my face into the pillow I'm supposed to be sleeping on.

Dear god, I think, why are you punishing me so?

I feel the bed shake as Harry silently laughs beside me.

"Stop it!" my muffled voice comes from the pillow.

"I can't help it, I was enjoying the cuddle," he quips.

And my mortification level goes even higher than I could ever possibly imagine.

Mate, I will kick you off this bed.

"Do you want something to eat?" Harry asks me.

I shake my head and turn slightly so I can peek at him.

"Hey," he says.

I groan in embarrassment as I hide my face again.

"You should get some food into your stomach love," he suggests, "you haven't eaten since last night."

I turn my head to the side to look at him again.

Well, not actually Harry, but I train my gaze onto a very interesting spot on the wall behind him so I don't have to look at him.

"Sometimes I can't keep anything down, even when I feel hungry at this stage," I admit.

"Well, I did order pizza for the kids," Harry says, "I do believe there was talk of ice cream for dinner again," he smiles.

And I couldn't help but smile back.

"They would have been emotionally torn I'm sure," I say, "you stop them from the ice cream but deliver them pizza."

"I was revered like a god," he says as he sticks his nose playfully in the air, "I may or may not have received kisses from Chloe."

"Traitor!' I say with pretend shock, "have you replaced Niall as her favourite?"

Harry chuckles out loud.

"I don't mind playing second favourite to Niall," he says.

'Actually I think Louis is her second favourite," I reply, "and I have no idea where she stands on Liam so you could very well be fourth."

Harry snorts in disbelief.

"She clearly used me for my pizza," he muses.

"Young love is fickle," I agree before we both start to laugh together.

Eventually my stomach starts to hurt from laughing and my hand clutches at it as it starts to twinge in pain again.

"Can you have something yet? For the pain?" Harry asks concerned.

I nod and go to grab the tablets on the bedside table.

"Hang on, I'll get you something to take it with," he says.

Before I can say that water from the bathroom will be fine, Harry's off and out the door.

I pull myself up slowly into a sitting position so I can take the tablets.

Moments later, Harry comes back in with a glass of orange juice and a slice of cheese pizza. Admittedly my mouth waters at the sight and smell of it.

The pizza, not Harry.

Bless his cotton socks.

He walks back around and sits on the bed next to me and hands me the glass.

"I thought you could do with some sugar in your system," he says.

"Thank you," I say as I swallow the tablets and set the glass aside.

"And just in case..." he holds the plate out to me.

I look at the pizza, then to Harry's expectant face before going back to the pizza.

I take the plate from him and give him a small smile.

I take a bite and it is heavenly, and I moan in appreciation.

"So," Harry says, interrupting my moment with my pizza, "I did some reading on what you have and it sounds just horrific. I had no idea it even existed."

"Why would you?" I say, "people generally don't speak about periods to the point it's almost taboo."

"It must be really painful," he says.

No fucking shit Sherlock.

But I try and reign my hormones in and remind myself he's only trying to help me.

"It's like this Harry," I begin, "for most women, each month, their uterus gets ready to welcome a little visitor. They spend hours setting it up before sitting and waiting patiently. If their guest decides not to turn up that month, they simply put away the food and the decorations until next month when they'll set it all up again."

Harry looks at me and I'm not sure if he's with me still.

"In my case, the tea party does not get packed up, instead, they invite about 100 people over and trash the place for a week because they're so pissed off and then they leave their crap everywhere when they've finished."

Harry's eyes widen and he slowly nods his head.

"Woah," he breathes out, "I'm so sorry you have to go through that."

He got it.

"How do you cope though?" he asks.

"You just have to Harry," I reply, "so you can imagine how pissed off we get when some dickhead says 'oh is it that time of the month? Could you not be such a bitch? I'm sure it's not really that bad?'

I take another bite of the pizza, savouring the gooey cheesy goodness.

"I also read that it's hard for some to have kids," he continues.

Jesus, is he considering a career change or something?

"I had surgery twice to laser away scar tissue and to free my organs and ovaries up," I explain, "if I was to go back for a third procedure I was told I would not be able to conceive. I was left with no choice really."

He looks quite stunned now. I guess he's trying to process it all.

Sometimes life gives you limited choice and sometimes it leaves you with no choice.

We sit in silence as I have another bite of pizza and set the plate aside.

I finally get up the courage to look over at Harry but I find he's already looking at me.

I swallow the pizza and blurt out the first thought that comes to mind.

Guess my brain does not want to engage in gear before I open my mouth.

"Why are you here?" I say, though it comes out as a whisper.

"Remember I said I had an idea," he begins.

"No," I interrupt, "how did you come to be in my life? How did you end up here?" I explain.

He looks down and tentatively reaches over to take hold of my hand and I don't know why, but it makes me suck my breath in sharply.

"I tend to think people come into your life for a reason," he begins, "sometimes for a life time, sometimes it's only for a short while and at times the reason why is clear and other times it's not."

"Why did you come into my life then?" I ask him, "why do I need you in my life?"

"Perhaps it's not you," he says shrugging his shoulders, "maybe I'm the one that needs you in my life instead."

I'm aware that his thumb is rubbing along the back of my hand gently and it also makes me aware of just how close Harry is in proximity to me, how small the space between our bodies is.

I shake my head in frustration.

"What on earth would you need from me?" I ask, "you have everything, what could I possibly give you?"

I start to feel overwhelmed and emotional.

Fucking period.

"I just don't understand why you keep coming back to me?" I blurt out.

Harry looks taken aback and the smile falls from his face.

"Do...do you not want me here?" he asks.

God he's looking at me like I just said the Packers were never going to play football again.

"I...I just don't get why you would want to, you know, be here with me," I say, suddenly interested in the print on the doona cover, "I'm nothing really."

The last part comes out as a whisper and Harry actually lets out a gasp and looks genuinely shocked.

"How could you even think that?" he asks, "I...Beth..."

"It's like you just came out from nowhere and suddenly you're everywhere," I interrupt him, "and you're so wonderful and sweet and caring and you have such a lovely soul and...now I'm rambling..."

I stop and close my eyes as I take a deep breath to try and calm myself.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

"And?" Harry gently asks.

I let out the breath I hold in and it comes out as a shudder.

"And I could get used to having you around but you're only temporary, and at the moment, I don't know if that's a good idea," I finish.

Harry doesn't say anything and for a moment I think he's going to tell me I'm stupid and realise I'm a waste of his time.

"Maybe, maybe not," he shrugs his shoulders, "but who says I can't be permanent? Who says I can't be in your life forever?"

We sit there and simply look at each other as his questions hang in the air.

"I don't even know what this is," I reply as I gesture back and forth between the two of us.

He nods slowly in agreeance.

"But it's something isn't it?" he says, "tell me that it's not just me and that there is something here."

I realise he still holds my hand within his and if I'm honest with myself, I don't want him to let go.

I don't want to let go.

It makes my heart flutter but it terrifies me greatly at the same time.

Harry presses me further.

"Can you try to let me in Beth? Even just a little bit?" he asks.

"I'm too scared to," I reply and it comes out in such a whisper I'm surprised he heard it.

"What are you scared of?" he whispers back.

I hardly bare my inner most thoughts to anyone anymore. I'm too scared of what they might say or react so I push them so far down where it destroys me more inside.

But there's something in the way that Harry looks at me that compels me to confess.

"Being left behind and alone, it hurts too much," I tell him, "and I don't want you to say that this," I gesture between us again, "whatever this is, a friendship or, I don't know what, is forever and then it's not."

Harry squeezes my hand tightly.

"I can't see the future Beth, and right now I'm going to say something that's probably going to sound really selfish," he says before he bites his lip, "but I want you in my life no matter what, no matter what the capacity."

My heart flutters again at his words and I wish it would stop as I'm sure I'm letting my heart rule my head.

Or is it my hormones ruling everything else?

"I would never hurt you intentionally Beth, you have to know that," he says.

But I don't.

No one can.

And that's the truth and it scares me.

I should say that out loud but I don't.

I can't.

"There's a connection here Beth and I know that's like some sort of sappy shit from a romance book," he continues and I can't help but smile, "but you know I'm right."

The hand that isn't holding mine reaches up and touches my face.

Oh sweet Jesus baby cheeks.

"Let me in Beth, please," his voice borders on desperation and as I look into the beautiful green eyes of his that are begging me, I nod in response.

I don't think I could speak even if I tried.

I feel so overwhelmed right now that I want to cry.

"I think you should get some more rest though," he says, "we can talk more tomorrow, or the day after that."

"I really should go and check on the kids though," I reply and move to get out of the bed.

"I'll take care of them," Harry says, "they're already fed, I'll make sure they go to bed, I promise."

"But you shouldn't have to..." I begin.

"I know, but I want to," Harry says as he places a hand on my arm, patting my pillow to indicate I should lay back down.

"Okay," I admit the defeat and follow instruction.

I have no reason not to trust Harry with my children.

I realise how exhausted I am as I close my eyes and feel the bed dip as Harry stands up. I'm already half asleep when I feel a kiss gently being placed on my temple before Harry leaves my bedroom, closing the door behind him.