"Dillion! Did you already fix your things?"

As I stepped inside our house, my mother welcomed me with that question. Oh, I remember, this is the only day we're leaving Singapore to live in the Philippines. I smiled as I went to her, nodding my head.

"Yes, mom."

"Good. We'll wait for your dad to arrive." I nod again and decided to went upstairs.

My parents and I aren't really close. I grew up without them even realizing. They were so busy handling our business they can't even make time for me. They have to hire a babysitter so just someone will look for me.

They said they're doing that to secure my future so I tried to understand them. I followed what they want and disregard my dreams. I mean, my main dream is for them to be proud of me, and if that means disregarding what I want, that will be okay for me.

Growing up wanting attention from your parent sucks. You have to follow them everytime. You have to obey their words. You have to let them do the things for you, control your life, so that they will compliment you for being a good man.

"Prepare all your belongings. We're going to the airport before lunch."

My eyes dropped on my father who's eyeing me too. I give a short bow before bringing out my luggages.

Since I already fixed them last night, I didn't do anything on my room but to lay on my bed and made a staring contest with the ceiling.

While staring at it, I imagined myself building new world with new environment. I am really not that sociable but I guess, I have to change that if I want to survive.

I guess it's a good thing that my dad is a Filipino citizen. I often hear him speak in Tagalog so I tried hard to learn the language. I don't want to bugged him, so I learned it by myself.

Minutes later, I get up because I have to take a bath. Mayamaya lang ay aakayat na si Mom para tanungin ako kung nakahanda na ba ako.

And finally, we arrived at airport. Hindi din naman kaming mahirapang makarating do'n dahil may sarili kaming sasakyan. In Singapore, transportation is easier if you're owning a vehicle. The only struggle is the tax you're going to pay. But for others, commuting is more reliable. Well, they're also right, especially to those who can't afford.

"When we arrived at the Philippines, be sure to fix your requirements in your new school." I just nod before putting my headphones on.

I was just sleeping the whole time. I don't even know how long we traveled but I just woke up when a lady offered a snacks. I just thanked her after that. Hindi na ako nakatulog ulit pagkatapos no'n kaya hinintay ko na lang na makalapag ang eroplano.

Hindi naman ito ang unang beses na pumunta ako sa Manila kaya hindi ko na inabala ang sarili ko na igala ang mata sa paligid. Marami na ding nagbago since the last time I went here.

The flight wasn't that long but I felt tired so when we reached our new place, I slept. Nagising ako nang palubog na ang araw. Hindi naman ako palalabas ng tao kaya nanatili na lang ako sa kuwarto ko, binabasa ang mga posibleng pag-aralan namin.

Business Administration wasn't really my dream course. Kaya ko lang 'to pinili kasi I had no choice. This is what my parent's want, and I have to follow them.

But for the first time, I was glad that I choose this path.

"Nash Dillion Lincoln."

I wasn't really that type of students who put too much words when introducing myself. The whole class is looking at me with confusion in their eyes, but someone catch my attention. He's eyeing me with his knotted forehead. Even though I didn't glance at him, I can see it through my peripheral vision.

After introduction, the professor told me to sit next beside Addison, the guy who's eyeing me weirdly. He's snob, and cold. Everytime I am trying to talk to him, he's going to ignore me and pretend he's up to something. Minsan naman, kapag sumagot, mas maikli pa sa buhay ng paru-paro.

Hindi ko alam kung paanong nangyari pero siya lang ang gusto kong kausap sa loob ng classroom. Gustong-gusto ko kapag sinusungitan niya ako. I find it thrilling, and exciting.

"Is that Marina Bay Sands?" One time, I approached him again. I chuckled lowly when he closed his notebook, panicking a little. He didn't budged when I grabbed his notebook. Puro tanawin sa Singapore ang nakita ko. "So, your dream destination is Singapore? Nakakasawa sa Singapore."

But again, he didn't answer. Imbes na mainis, mas natuwa pa akong makita ang naiinis niyang mukha. It was amusing for me to see his brows furrowed because of annoyance. And because of me.

Ilang araw pa kaming paulit-ulit na nagkakaroon ng interaction, at ilang araw niya na rin akong sinusungitan. When I asked his friends about his attitude, they say that he is really snob and cold to everybody. Pero pakiramdam ko sa'kin lang siya gan'on.

Or I was just over-reacting?

Kapag nakikita ko siya, kung hindi siya nagbabasa, tumutulala naman. Parang sa pag-aaral na lang umiikot ang mundo niya.

I want to befriend him so I tried my best to be perseverant of his attitude. I often ask Carleen about his favorites, so I would know what to avoid and what to give him. Si Carleen lang ang nakakausap ko kasi si Kyla ay maingay at hindi matino kausap.

"Stalker, hmm..."

One time while lying on my bed, I received a notification. It was Callan, and he liked the photo I posted days ago. I smirked and chatted him. I can already imagine his frowning face.

Callan:
Dumaan sa feed ko.

Mas lumawak ang ngisi ko dahil lagi kong ini-stalk ang account niya, at ng mga kaibigan niya pero wala silang interactions sa social media. Hindi ko nga siya nakikitang nagr-react sa friends niya, 'e.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko at nasabi ko 'yung salitang 'yun nang magkita ulit kami.

"I'll make you fall in 3 months."

I wanted to punch my face when I remembered it again. I was bored, but I never expected myself to say such things. Pero nung makita ko ang reaksyon ni Callan nang sabihin ko 'yun, parang nawala ang inis ko sa sarili.

I also didn't expect that he will agree. Mukhang natapakan ang pride niya. Or maybe it's true that he just don't care? Nawala ang ngisi ko dahil do'n.

"Hays, Callan. What did you do to me?" I closed my eyes and dozed to sleep.

The next day, I was with my friends when Callan entered the room. Nagtama sandali ang paningin namin pero umiwas din siya ng tingin at dumeretso sa upuan niya. Narinig ko naman ang pang-aasar ng mga kaibigan ko. One of them even bumped my shoulder.

"In-ignore ka, oh. Awit, pre."

"'Wag kang iiyak, boi!"

Mahina lang akong natawa dahil sa pinagsasabi nila. Lagi na lang nila akong inaasar kapag hindi ako pinapansin ni Callan. Para naman silang bago nang bago.

Napangisi ako atsaka pumunta sa kaniya. He seems not shock with my presence which made my smirk wider. I sat on the table, and look on what he's doing. I saw him giving me side glances, frowning.

"Good morning." I smiled as I utter those words.

But of course, he is Callan. Mas maikli pa sa pasensiya niya ang isasagot niya. "Likewise."

"So cold..." I whispered with a hint of amusement. Mukha namang narinig niya 'yun kaya napatingin siya sa'kin. He raised a brow making me smirk more. "What?"

"Get off the table." His bored eyes dropped on his paper again after telling that. I chuckled before jumping off the table and sitting beside him. Dumukdok ako sa lamesa at habang nakatingin lang sa seryoso niyang mukha. I know that he can feel my stares but he refuse to look back.

"Callan, may tanong ako!" Her friend, Kyla, approach him, holding a folder on her hands. "Hi, Dillion."

"About what?" Callan looked at her with his emotionless face. Hinayaan ko silang mag-usap na dalawa at tinitigan lang siya.

I wonder if he had exes. With that looks and intelligence, I doubt that he never had an admirer before. He's everyone's dream guy.

Did he have girlfriends before? Flings? He's someone who takes study as a serious matter so I doubt that. But who knows?

What am I thinking? And since when did I give a damn about his past relationships?

"Do you have past flings? Or girlfriend thingy before?"

While we're sitting on our table, I asked him. There's only the two of us inside the classroom because our classmates are outside, taking their break. Hindi naman ako lumalabas kapag hindi siya lumalabas, unless may gagawin ako.

Napatingin naman ang seryoso niyang mata sa'kin. 'Yung mukha niya, parang ilang sandali na lang ay mananapak na. Napanguso ako, pinipigilang ngumiti. Napakasungit talaga.

"None."

Ooh, no girlfriend since birth. I smirked. So, he's not open for relationship until now? I wanted to ask him that but I refused.

I honestly have some past relationships before but they were all not that serious. It's just weeks, the longest was one month and a half.

Our days went well. I noticed that somehow, he's opening his self for me. Sa paglipas ng araw, nababawasan na ang pagsusungit niya sa'kin. Minsan pa nga, siya ang nagbubukas ng usapin.

That night was really a great help. 'Yung gabing nag-open up ako about sa family ko.

I asked him out because I had too much. The insecurities began to grow inside my heart because of my mother's words. I felt belittled that time, just because my cousin achieved something.

I did my best with my previous school, even though I never wanted that industry. I forget my original dream for me not to loose them. This is so sick, but I had no choice. They are the only one I have.

He listened to me that night while I'm crying like a baby. Kahit na ayaw kong magpakita ng kahinaan sa harap niya, hindi ko mapigilan. That night, I felt comforted. He made me feel comfort.

The next day, I was embarrassed of what happened. He even took care of me while I'm drunk. Napatampal na lang ako sa noo ko dahil sa kahihiyan na 'yun.

Sabay pa rin kaming kumakain, kasabay ang mga kaibigan niya. Sometimes, we're ending up in the library, reading some books. It was cool being with him, far from my thoughts that he's a boring companion.

Or I am just enjoying being with him because I know that, somehow, I developed something for him?

I won't deny it. Alam kong unti-unti na siyang nakakapasok sa buhay ko. At imbes na umiwas, mas pinili kong mas lalong mapalapit sa kaniya, at sa buhay niya. But I never expected it to be this hard.

"Ang tagal mo namang mahulog..."

Hindi pa nga ba siya nahuhulog?

It all started when Shane entered the frame. She just approached me one day, telling that she's going to study here, too. She used to be my bestfriend. But we parted ways when my family decided to live here in the Philippines. We were actually four in the group. But it was complicated.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit niya ako iniiwasan. Wala naman akong masamang ginawa. Nakasimangot lang tuloy ako habang nasa harap ang mga kaibigan. They are all laughing at my misery.

"Wala ka pala, 'e. Ang lapit niya lang sa'yo kanina, pero iba pa ang piniling partner." I raised my middle finger on him because of what he said. Nakakatangina lang 'yung nangyari kanina. I was pissed, not because of him, but because of what he did. It should be me. That should be me whom he's working with!

"Olats, pre. Malabo na ata ang mga pangarap mo sa buhay." Jared jokingly tapped my shoulder, faking a sympathy. "Baka naman nagseselos do'n sa bestfriend mo kaya nagpapa-bebe."

I raised a brow. Callan? I don't want to make conclusions inside my head that he really is jealous, but damn! I just found myself smiling with the thought.

"Oh, ngumingiti na. Mas masakit 'to lalo, umasa na, 'e. Walang iyakan kapag hindi nakuha, ah." I mentally rolled my eyes with their words.

"You'll see..." I smirked.

I never knew that it's really hard to get him! He's really pissing me! Callan knew how to create a rage inside me.

From: Kyla
oy pnta ka bahay! aalis si callan ih. bukas punta na sya ng singapore. ayaw nia ata ipaalam sau kaya aq na nag-asjust

"What the hell?" Halos magkadugtong na ang mga kilay ko sa sobrang pagkakunot. Hindi na ako nag-isip pa, at agad na nagbihis para pumunta sa bahay nina Kyla. She send me the address.

I was mad at him, at the same time, hurt. He should've at least told me, right? Am I not really important?

I see. It was just me who's giving myself false hopes. I smiled sarcastically.

I drunk that night. Kahit ayokong kausap si Liam, pinilit ko. I don't want to talk to Callan. I might say something I will regret forever.

"Okay. I will wait until you came back."

He said he wanted to say something to me when he came back. I was excited because I promised to myself that I will confess that time.

"I want to shift course..."

Both of my parents stopped eating with what I mentioned. Natutunan ko nang mahalin ang Business dahil kay Callan, pero mas gusto kong matupad ang sarili kong pangarap. He's right. I should not waste my time, and be brave enough. There's a better things waiting for me with my real dream.

They are both looking at me with confusion. Mom was about to lash out when Dad interfered. "Okay."

"W-What?" My Mom's eyes widen with my father's word. While me, I was dumbfounded.

He said, okay, right? Tell me that I am not imagining things.

"What? Your son's a man now. You should let him do what he want in life."

"But, honey, it was never good for him to take that Engineering class. He will just waste the time and opportunity." I smiled sadly because of my mother's word.

My father looked at me with his serious eyes. Nagbaba lang ako ng tingin, at nagpanggap na may ginagawa. I know where it will end up. Why did I even tried?

"Trust him. He's our son, I know he can do it."

Happiness filled the inner me because of what my father said. I can't even hide it anymore! This was the first time he didn't go against my decision. I was so glad that night and was about to call Callan but I decided to surprise him.

I didn't know that dad told Shane to help me fixing my papers with shifting but I couldn't careless. It was never easy for me to handle those things, but thanks to Shane's help.

"Si Shane ba at Dillion? Lagi ko silang nakikitang magkasama..."

I frowned with what I heard. They are students from Education. Who the hell create that issue? Shane, on the other hand, blew a whistle, chuckling a little. I gave her a bored look.

"People here are ridiculous," she leaned to whisper that. Mahina lang akong tumawa, naiiling.

Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang mga pinagsasabi nila. It wasn't real, so why bother? Later that night, we go to the airport. Ngayon uuwi si Callan, and I am never been this excited.

"Grabe, hindi naman halatang excited kang makita si Callan, Dillion 'no? Talagang nauna ka pa sa'min." I laughed because of what Kyla said. Of course, I was excited. He's Callan, I'm always excited when it comes to him.

"Mag...mags-shift na ako ng course..."

Ilang beses ko pang prinactice sa CR 'yung sasabihin ko sa kaniya kagabi. I can feel my heart beating loud when he looked at me with shocked. I can see a genuine happiness on his eyes when he smiled which made me feel things inside.

Honestly, natutunan ko nang magustuhan ang Business course dahil sa kaniya. I learn how to love that path because he was there. But he also has a point.

I have my own dream to work hard. I should be brave enough for me to reach that. He taught me the steps for me to achieve my dream. He made me believe that I still have time. That, it wasn't late yet.

I wanted him to be proud of me.

Days went fast, really. I just wanted to be with Callan but I still have things to do regarding about my shifting. He was right that it's hard and tough, but I can manage.

"Mukhang sila na nga talaga. Omg!"

Hindi ko mapigilang mapakunot na naman ang noo nang muli akong may marinig. I faced the two girls which made them look away. Shane just released a sigh, chuckling a little.

"We're not together. He likes someone, and I also had some special someone, so could you just please stop talking about this? It's annoying." Shane rolled her eyes on them and started walking again. Hindi na ako nagsalita at nagpatuloy na lang sa paglalakad.

"I'm going now, future business man." That should be another day of teasing him, but he was studying so I left.

I wasn't really ready when he came to our department later that afternoon. I was smiling while walking towards him but that vanished when I saw his face. It made me somehow afraid.

"So, what if it's me?"

Hindi ko kilala kung sinong tanga ang nagpakalat na merong 'kami' ni Callan pero sinabi ko na lang na ako. Maybe this was the sign I am waiting? Maybe this is the sign that I should confess to him. I don't want to creep him out but I also don't want to let him go now.

"I will still court you, nonetheless." I smirked at him which made him frowned. I will gladly wait for him to answer me.

I was the happiest the next day when he finally give me his yes! I would often tease him about his secret admiration about me but at the end, I will be the one who ended up smiling at my own thoughts.

Damn, this man fall for you, Dillion. What a lucky guy I am.

"Adi!" I love to call him Adi. Adi means gift from God, and he's a gift for me. A beautiful gift. He looked at me with what I called him, frowning. "I love you."

It was a peaceful relationship with him. Those days, weeks, and months I spent with him is what I can call a lifetime. I can never imagine myself waking up without him.

"I love you." Sinundot ko pa ang pisngi niya kaya natawa siya. Nakaupo kami sa sahig at nasa coffee table ang mga papel niya. I was just beside him, watching him study.

Sa bawat taon na lumipas, nanatili kaming tago ang relasyon. I don't want to introduce him to my family yet until I proved something. I want to achieve something first, so that they will had no words. He agreed to that, though.

Callan is the type of man who will try to understand everything, which made me love him more.

"You said you never wanted to go back on Singapore again?" Mahina lang akong tumawa sa sinabi niya. Nakahiga lang kami sa higaan habang nakaunan ang ulo niya sa braso ko.

"Changes occur, babe. You're not going there alone." I smiled at him.

"Really?" Hindi ako nagsalita at tumango na lang. "We don't know what will happen in the future."

"Why? Don't you trust me?" I faced him with my confused eyes. He smiled and looked at the ceiling.

"I trust you, but not the fate. Things might get fucked up in the future."

He was overthinking so I had to assure him that everything is alright. Nothing will happen. Or if ever, I will always choose what's the best for him. Because I love him.

"Tangina, ang hirap. Zero amputa."

Tinawanan ko si Ranz dahil sa sinabi nito. Ako nga two lang ang nakuha. It's okay, I'll just try harder next time. Ang hirap naman kasi talaga ng exam.

It was really tiring. Engineering was tiring the hell out of me but whenever I saw Callan, it will vanish. Corny may it seem but this is how I really feel.

We celebrated anniversaries together. It was going strong. Both of us were happy with each other's arm, though our schedule was really tight.

He was busy with his internship so I let him. I focused on my classes to. We prioritize our dreams but we still did not forget each other.

It was strong, but until when?

"Your dad was on the hospital! Go here, Dillion!"

I was on the middle of my class when my mom called me. My eyes widen and immediately stand up. Hindi ko na masagot nang maayos ang professor at basta na lang lumabas ng silid.

I can't think properly while I'm on my way to the hospital. My hands are sweating cold and I can feel it trembled.

He experienced Angina, causing his heart to fail. I can feel my insides trembling as I stare at his state. Apparatus are everywhere in his body, I could barely recognized him. But what hurts me the most is my mom breaking down.

This scenery is something I am not prepared of.

I never bother telling it to Callan. I don't want to worry him, especially that he's on his last internship, so I had to endure it alone. Pero ayos lang, basta nasa tabi ko siya. Ayos lang basta nandiyan siya.

Hindi na rin ako masyadong nakaka-attend ng klase dahil kailangan kong bantayan si Dad. Ihahatid ko lang si Callan at kunwaring papasok pero aalis din kaagad para pumunta sa ospital.

"How's tito?" Shane visited me one day. I looked at her and gestured her to sit.

"He's still unresponsive. Under observation." I looked down. The only sound I can hear is the machine that monitor his heartbeat.

I heard her sighed. "Tito will be fine."

Kapag magkasama kami ni Callan, madalas lang siyang nakatulala. I am worried about him but he'll just sigh and smile at me, assuring that hes' fine.

"What is this thing I heard that you're dating a guy?!"

I was tired from school when mom approached me. Hindi ko na magawa pang mag-react sa sinabi niya dahil hindi pa rin ako maka-get over na nagka-zero ako kanina.

He told me to leave Callan which made me furious. No one can tell me to leave him, even they are my family. Umuwi ako sa kaniya nang araw na 'yun pero gan'on pa din siya. I would often catch him staring at me.

"What if something happened that will forced us to be apart?"

I was stopped by his question. My hold on him tightened as I remember my mother's word.

"You'll leave that guy, or he'll leave you. Don't wait for me to do things, Dillion. Your father is on the hospital, and here you are, flirting a guy!"

"Nothing will happen, okay?"

I am not sure with my answer, but still, I have to assure him that. I don't want him to overthink again. We spent the whole day together, but after that, everything between us starting to be ruined.

"I see. Callan Addison, a Dean's Lister, ah-huh."

I gulped when I heard what my mother said. I don't know what's on her mind but I don't like it. I stared at her smirking face with fear in my heart.

I had to stay away from him. I know it's wrong but I have to do that. Hindi ko alam ang mga kayang gawin ng magulang ko. Ayokong madamay si Callan sa kung ano mang binabalak niya.

"Kaduga ng prof amputa. Ang pangit kaya ng plate nung isa. Mas maganda pa nga 'yung sa'yo, Dillion. Anong klase ba siya mag-grade?"

Natawa ako sa sinabi ng isa kong kaklase. Wala na akong panahon para punahin pa ang professor namin sa pinaggagawa niya sa mga plates kanina. Naramdaman kong may nakatingin sa'kin kaya nilibot ko ang paningin ko. Unconsciously, our eyes met and the only thing I can see on his eyes was confusion...and disappointment. I had to look away because of that.

I have a hard time keeping my studies, my dad, and Callan. It was so toxic for me. And my mom, she did all her best for Callan and I to be apart. She payed the school for Callan to be removed in DL. I don't know what happened but I know that she did that.

I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want him to lose his dream just because of me.

"If you can't accept that, it's not my problem anymore!"

I'm sorry.

He didn't stop, though. Every afternoon, he'll go to our department for us to talk. I avoided him, I don't want to see the pain in his eyes. I was coward that time.

I refused talking with my mom after what she did. Binalik naman kaagad si Callan sa DL kaya napanatag ako. My dad's not getting better which made me more down.

Wala akong masabihan. I had to endure them alone. Shane would often ask me but I feel like I'm bothering her so I keep it to myself.

"Gusto ko lang marinig kung bakit..."

Nasasaktan ako habang nakikita si Callan na lumuhod sa harap ko para lang magmakaawang sabihin kung bakit ko siya iniwan. This is not the Callan I loved, and I knew.

Ang sakit-sakit makita na unti-unti niya nang kinakalimutan ang sarili niya para lang masalba kami, which made me doubt if I still deserve him.

I endured Kyla's wrath towards me. What she did was right. They should hurt me. They should hate me. I've been a jerk, so this single slap is nothing.

"Your friend send you here? I told him to stop bugging me."

One time while I was on the library, trying to sleep because I couldn't last night, Carleen approached me. She's not mad, or something when she sat in front of me.

"No, Callan didn't sent me here." She sighed and leaned on her chair. "I just want to know...why did you do that to him?"

"I fell out of love?" That's the most stupid reason I said in my entire life but I had nothing to say. Narinig ko naman ang pagtawa niya.

"You don't have to lie to me, Dillion. I may not know you yet, but I know that you'll never leave my friend with that stupid reason."

For once, I feel like someone will understand me and my state. For once, I feel like not everyone hates me. Someone will listen to me willingly.

I cried in front of her that time. She listened to me. I told her everything, how tired I am to keep everything. How exhausted I am on this life. She listened to me until I felt better.

"It was unfair, yes, but I understand you. Maybe, this wasn't the right time for the both of you. You've been through a lot, both of you, so it's not a sin to rest."

She was right. I focused on my dad, and my studies again. I didn't try to fix my relationship with my mom anymore. She's unreasonable and selfish.

It was the day of his graduation. I am so proud of him when he received his diploma. I smiled sadly, realizing that I am not there to hug him and tell him how proud I am. Nasa malayo lang ako at tinatanaw siya ng mga kaibigan niya.

I will never regret letting him go.

I watched him chase his dream that day, and I watch my dad died the second day. That was the hardest part of my life. His last words remained alive on my mind.

"I noticed how he changed you, so I want you to chase him again, and live together, without minding others. And with that, I will always be the proudest father."

I tried to recover from everything. I graduated on the Philippines, and pursued my dream there too. But something was missing, and I know what it is. I know who it is.

"I hope you find what your heart wants..."

I smiled to Carleen and bid my goodbye. This is my flight to the Singapore for me to continue my life alone.

"Thanks for everything." She chuckled but still nod. As soon as I stepped inside the plane, I flashed a proud smile.

I will never be tired of waiting for him. Because he is the one who fulfilled my broken heart. And I will look for him...wherever he is.